If this doesn’t happen that often (but usually during an argument), then chances are your spouse accidentally said something regrettable and inappropriate.<\/p>\n
Pero si ocurre con regularidad, puede ser el comienzo de un relaci\u00f3n abusiva<\/a>as\u00ed que deber\u00edas prestar atenci\u00f3n a eso.<\/p>\n Perhaps they said something bad about your friends or family, your flaws, habits or appearance and now you can’t stop thinking about it.<\/p>\n The reason why you can’t stop thinking about it is because you feel hurt, offended and disappointed in your partner.<\/p>\n You want to let it go and forget about everything that happened but it’s easier said than done, right? Also, holding grudges is not a healthy option.<\/p>\n As\u00ed que, b\u00e1sicamente tienes dos opciones aqu\u00ed:<\/strong><\/p>\n a)<\/strong> Puedes fingir que no ha pasado nada (pero esto provocar\u00e1 la acumulaci\u00f3n de sentimientos negativos)<\/p>\n b)<\/strong> Puedes hacer lo siguiente:<\/p>\n Oh, I know that you want to say so many things to them, force them to apologize to you and point out all those harsh words they said to you. But trust me, it’s not worth it.<\/p>\n Por mucho que te cueste mantener la compostura y no decirles tambi\u00e9n algunas cosas feas, intenta no devolverles el ataque. \u00bfPor qu\u00e9? Porque no resolver\u00e1 el problema, sino que s\u00f3lo lo empeorar\u00e1.<\/p>\n When your spouse says hurtful things to you, you need to show them that you’re not like them.<\/p>\n There’s no point in saying something bad to your partner when you know that you will end up apologizing for it sooner or later.<\/p>\n The best bet is to leave things as they are for the time being and wait for them to apologize for hurting you. And if they don’t, then it’s time to re-evaluate your marriage.<\/p>\n It’s truly amazing how one person can distress you so much but you need to know that fighting back is not an option.<\/p>\n What you need to do is calm down, take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone.<\/p>\n Don’t immediately think that your partner doesn’t love you, that they hate you or that quieren el divorcio<\/a>.<\/p>\n 80% del tiempo, estos cosas hirientes<\/a> son cosas que se dicen en el calor del momento y no est\u00e1n directamente relacionadas con la calidad de tu matrimonio.<\/strong> Tenlo en cuenta.<\/p>\n Hay muchas razones por las que tu pareja podr\u00eda herirte involuntariamente con palabras.<\/p>\n Esas razones no est\u00e1n necesariamente relacionadas contigo, pero pueden formar parte de la acumulaci\u00f3n de estr\u00e9s debido al trabajo, las tareas dom\u00e9sticas u otras obligaciones y problemas.<\/p>\n Lo que tienes que hacer es pensar en el contexto en el que tu c\u00f3nyuge dijo todas esas cosas malas y en c\u00f3mo ha estado actuando \u00faltimamente.<\/strong><\/p>\n H\u00e1gase las siguientes preguntas:<\/p>\n \u2022 Was my spouse recently in some stressful situations?<\/p>\n \u2022 Are they sleep-deprived?<\/p>\n \u2022 Are they acting differently from before?<\/p>\n \u2022 Are they treating their friends and family in the same way?<\/p>\n Las respuestas a estas preguntas le ayudar\u00e1n a comprender si sus discusiones y sus palabras hirientes no son m\u00e1s que una forma de desahogo de su c\u00f3nyuge.<\/p>\n Don’t strike back and don’t overreact but also don’t act like it’s not a big deal. I know it is and you know it is too.<\/p>\n No pasa nada si esas duras palabras han impactado en tu autoestima<\/a> y te hizo sentir menos digno.<\/p>\n I mean, that’s what words do. They hurt us and it burns like hell. Because of that, we often succumb to the temptation of suppressing our feelings but this will not make them go away.<\/p>\n Al contrario, prolongar\u00e1 el dolor que sientes en ese momento.<\/p>\n Por lo tanto, lo \u00fanico l\u00f3gico y lo mejor que se puede hacer es ACEPTA la situaci\u00f3n y VALORA tus sentimientos. Acepta lo que sientes en lugar de intentar borrarlo.<\/strong><\/p>\n We all know very well that one cannot do that, no matter how hard we try so don’t pretend that you’re made of stainless steel when you yourself know that this is a lie.<\/p>\n You’re a human being and you’re allowed to feel things; to feel hurt, sad, happy and whatnot. That’s the beauty of being one.<\/p>\n Your emotions are not things you should be afraid of (especially if you’re a guy because guys are told that validating or expressing their feelings is not a masculine thing to do).<\/p>\n Well, be it masculine or not, it’s NECESSARY.<\/p>\n Es uno de los m\u00e9todos m\u00e1s \u00fatiles y lo utilizo cada vez que me encuentro angustiada o dolida. Escribir tus pensamientos y sentimientos te ayuda a comprender mejor c\u00f3mo te sientes.<\/p>\n Cuando ocurre algo malo, algunas personas llaman a su mejor amigo y le cuentan lo sucedido, otras optan por salir a dar un paseo y otras por escribir c\u00f3mo se sienten.<\/p>\n All of these methods are equally helpful and it’s just a matter of preference which one you’ll choose as a coping method.<\/p>\n Si me preguntas a m\u00ed, escribir las cosas es el m\u00e9todo m\u00e1s pr\u00e1ctico<\/strong> y puede darle la mejor visi\u00f3n de la situaci\u00f3n general.<\/p>\n Aqu\u00ed no hay reglas. Simplemente empieza a escribir lo primero que se te ocurra.<\/p>\n Por ejemplo: \u201cI feel hurt because my spouse said something really insulting to me today. I know that they probably don’t mean it but it still hurts and I don’t know what to say or do.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Escribir tus pensamientos te ayudar\u00e1 en el siguiente paso, que es hablar con tu c\u00f3nyuge. B\u00e1sicamente, lo que escribas en un papel es lo que podr\u00e1s decirle cara a cara.<\/p>\n \u00bfQu\u00e9 hacer cuando tu marido dice cosas hirientes o cuando tu mujer dice cosas hirientes? HABLA con ellos.<\/p>\n Once you calm down and accept what happened, it’s time to talk to your spouse about it.<\/p>\n La regla m\u00e1s importante a la hora de comunicarse con su c\u00f3nyuge es la siguiente: No les grites ni les agredas.<\/strong><\/p>\n Aunque gritar es probablemente lo primero que le viene a la mente cuando piensa en comunicarse con alguien que herirte<\/a>, you shouldn’t do it.<\/p>\n En lugar de eso, debes hablar con ellos abierta y honestamente, sin acusarles.<\/p>\n \u00bfSab\u00edas que las distintas estructuras de las frases pueden transmitir significados diferentes?<\/p>\n Por ejemplo, si le dices a tu c\u00f3nyuge algo como: \u201cYou called me stupid the other day. You’re so mean,\u201d<\/strong><\/em> they will feel attacked because you’re blaming them for it.<\/p>\n Por eso, es posible que digan m\u00e1s cosas hirientes al intentar defenderse.<\/p>\n Now, let’s rephrase that sentence into the following: \u201cI feel really hurt and disappointed because of the things you said to me the other day.\u201d<\/strong><\/em> \u00bfNotas la diferencia?<\/p>\n Este tipo de frase no les atacar\u00e1 directamente, pero les dir\u00e1 exactamente c\u00f3mo te sientes sobre todo el asunto y este es el mensaje que quieres enviarles.<\/p>\n You want them to know how their words made you feel. You want them to feel the weight of all the things they said to you. That’s the only way to motivate them to apologize to you.<\/p>\n When a person is feeling attacked, there’s not a chance they will apologize for their behavior.<\/p>\n Pero cuando les das un poco de espacio para que vean lo que han hecho y entiendan el da\u00f1o de su elecci\u00f3n de palabras, se disculpar\u00e1n y se lo pensar\u00e1n dos veces antes de repetir el mismo error en el futuro.<\/p>\n V\u00e9ase tambi\u00e9n: \u00bfC\u00f3mo afrontar el dolor de un ser querido?<\/a><\/p>\n This is one of the most difficult things you’ll need to do but it’s necessary for two reasons:<\/p>\n a)<\/strong> Te ayudar\u00e1 a entender c\u00f3mo se sintieron durante la discusi\u00f3n<\/p>\n b)<\/strong> Te ayudar\u00e1 a perdonarlos<\/p>\n Cuando observes la situaci\u00f3n desde su punto de vista, comprender\u00e1s su rabia o lo que sea que estuvieran pasando durante la discusi\u00f3n. Puedes compararlo con tus experiencias de locura total.<\/p>\n You probably said something you didn’t mean before just because you weren’t in control of your vocabulary at that moment. Once you know that, it’s easier for you to understand them and forgive them.<\/p>\n Whatever your spouse said to you, you shouldn’t take their words seriously.<\/p>\n You shouldn’t think that they are your enemy because they aren’t. They are still your best friend, confidant and partner in crime.<\/p>\n The things they said during an argument shouldn’t change what they mean to you. Also, you shouldn’t let those words make you feel less worthy or influence your self-esteem in one way or another.<\/p>\n I know it’s hard to think positively in this situation but you have to at least try to. Their words shouldn’t make you insecure because you yourself know that whatever they said to you is not true. And they know it too.<\/p>\n When your spouse says hurtful things to you, it feels like your world is literally falling apart. All you can think of is how they made you feel miserable and hurt your feelings. And that’s totally okay.<\/p>\n You shouldn’t suppress what you feel<\/a> \u00a1pero t\u00f3mate el tiempo que necesites para curarte!<\/p>\n Ahora bien, \u00bfqu\u00e9 significa curar? Cada persona tiene su propio concepto de curaci\u00f3n.<\/strong> A algunas personas les ayuda salir a pasear, hablarlo con un amigo o buscar un nuevo hobby y concentrarse en expresarse.<\/p>\n Para empezar el proceso de curaci\u00f3n, tienes que salir de tu cabeza y la forma m\u00e1s f\u00e1cil de hacerlo es expres\u00e1ndote. Puedes gritar, cantar, dibujar, escribir o hacer cualquier cosa que te haga sentir bien.<\/p>\n The focus is on getting those negative feelings out of your system and you’ll do that by expressing yourself both emotionally and physically. Going for a run or meditating are also great alternatives.<\/p>\n Whatever you choose to do, don’t force yourself to forget everything but instead focus on the healing process.<\/p>\n Otro paso importante es la reevaluaci\u00f3n de tu relaci\u00f3n. Tienes que hacerte la siguiente pregunta: \u00bfMi c\u00f3nyuge me dice constantemente cosas hirientes desde hace alg\u00fan tiempo o esto ha ocurrido s\u00f3lo una vez o unas pocas veces?<\/em><\/p>\n If you can’t even remember when your spouse started saying harsh words to you, chances are it’s been happening for a long time now. If that is the case with you, we might be talking about abuso emocional<\/a>.<\/p>\n Menospreciar constantemente tus sentimientos con palabras duras es una forma de abuso verbal que puede disminuir tu confianza y da\u00f1arte emocionalmente a largo plazo.<\/strong><\/p>\n If you’re still in love with them, you might be having difficulty realizing that this is the case.<\/p>\n It’s true that couples in a relaci\u00f3n duradera<\/a> (especially married couples) face lots of problems but they shouldn’t be constant. If they are, then this could be a potential dealbreaker.<\/p>\n \u00bfSe ha hecho alguna vez la siguiente pregunta? \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 me cas\u00e9 en primer lugar?<\/em> Si es as\u00ed, entonces sabes que algo no va bien en tu relaci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n Your friends and family should be your biggest support (especially in difficult times) so don’t hesitate to contact them and tell them how you’re feeling.<\/p>\n There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Take a deep breath and say: Mi mujer\/marido dice cosas hirientes cuando nos peleamos. Me siento herido e impotente.<\/em><\/p>\n Tal vez tus padres o algunos de tus amigos hayan pasado por lo mismo, as\u00ed que pueden darte alg\u00fan consejo \u00fatil al respecto.<\/p>\n Si, por alguna raz\u00f3n, no puedes hablar con tus amigos o familiares, entonces habla con tu compa\u00f1ero de trabajo<\/a> o un extra\u00f1o al azar si es necesario.<\/p>\n I’ve realized that sometimes the greatest advice comes from people you barely know.<\/p>\n If all else fails (and even if it doesn’t fail), you can always seek professional help.<\/p>\n Hay muchos consejeros matrimoniales<\/a>expertos en citas y en relaciones, dispuestos a darte muchos consejos \u00fatiles sobre relaciones y matrimonios.<\/p>\n It doesn’t matter whether this is happening to you for the first time or has been for some time now, it is never too late to seek advice from professionals.<\/p>\n 1. \u201c\u2019Sorry\u2019 we all say \u2018Sorry\u2019 for the wrong things we say and do. But do we always think about the people we love dearly who we say hurtful things to? I don\u2019t think so because if we had think about it sorry wouldn’t have become such a popular word today. Sometimes we say so much and act immature as adult. We didn’t take the time to realize how much hurt and pain we put that individual in we never took the time to think of the reaction, the feelings and the consequence that we might have to face if what we do turns out to be a matter of life and death.!!!\u201d \u2015 Napz Cherub Pellazo<\/p>\n 2. \u201cPalabras tontas<\/em> cause trills because they’re ludicrous and funny. Palabras felices<\/em> pintan sonrisas interminables y se tragan los problemas enteros. Palabras reflexivas<\/em> son as\u00ed porque hacen que el d\u00eda parezca soleado. Pero palabras hirientes<\/em> are such that pierce the heart and weigh the soul.\u201d \u2015 Richelle E. Goodrich<\/p>\n 3. \u201cWhen the person you love can’t see your love for them beneath the painful things you say when they reject you, remember this: Love is blind.\u201d \u2015 Shannon L. Alder<\/p>\n 4. \u201cWhen someone tells you that you have done something that has hurt them, you don\u2019t get to decide that you didn\u2019t.\u201d \u2015 Karon Waddell<\/p>\n 5. \u201cHonesty hurts and depending on the situation you should really think twice about your words. They can be hurtful and have a bad influence. Once they leave your mouth they can cause allot of soul damage and heartache.\u201d \u2015 Lily Amis<\/p>\n 6. \u201cYes, a person can accept your apology and forgive you for what you\u2019ve said, but they will never forget how you made them feel at that very moment. Words can stick in a person\u2019s mind, heart, and spirit long after the words have been spoken. Don\u2019t be in denial; words have GREAT power. Be wise when you speak!\u201d \u2015 Stephanie Lahart<\/p>\n 7. \u201cDogs bite sometimes, people bite at all times, with their hurtful words.\u201d \u2015 Mehmet Murat \u0130ldan<\/p>\n 8. \u201c\u2019Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.\u2019 This is a lie. What we say matters. The unkind things we communicate can soil the best of relationships; even with the deepest of regrets\u2026 what lingers is a stain of hurt that may fade but will never truly go away. The wounding words we say are like feathers released in a harsh wind, once said; we will never get them back.\u201d \u2015 Jason Versey<\/p>\n 9. \u201cIt hurts when you go through something that kills you inside but you have to act like it doesn’t affect you at all.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 1. \u201cForgiveness is a sign that the person who has wronged you means more to you than the wrong they have dealt.\u201d \u2014 Ben Greenhalgh<\/p>\n 2. \u201cTo heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 3. \u201cYou’ll never know how strong your heart is until you learn to forgive who broke it.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 4. \u201cWhen you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.\u201d \u2014 Catherine Ponder<\/p>\n 5. \u201cHow people treat you is their karma<\/a>; how you react is yours.\u201d \u2014 Wayne Dyer<\/p>\n 6. \u201cWithout forgiveness life is governed by… an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.\u201d \u2014 Roberto Assagioli<\/p>\n 7. \u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d \u2014 Paul Boese<\/p>\n 8. \u201cTo forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.\u201d \u2014 Robert Muller<\/p>\n 9. \u201cForgiveness is a powerful tool to reconnect with the offender and your true, inner self.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 10. \u201cTo err is human, to forgive, divine.\u201d \u2014 Alexander Pope<\/p>\n 11. \u201cPeople are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.\u201d \u2014 Joseph F. Newton<\/p>\n 12. \u201cBefore we can forgive one another, we have to understand one another.\u201d \u2014 Emma Goldman<\/p>\n 13. \u201cForgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a strong person to say sorry and an even stronger person to forgive them.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 14. \u201cIt’s not easy to forgive and let go but remind yourself that harboring the resentment will only aggravate your pain.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 15. \u201cHappily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.\u201d \u2014 Fawn Weaver<\/p>\n 16. \u201cPerd\u00f3n<\/a> is like faith. You have to keep reviving it.\u201d \u2014 Mason Cooley<\/p>\n 17. \u201cThe act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.\u201d \u2014 Louise Hay<\/p>\n 18. \u201cForgiveness is a powerful weapon. Equip yourself with it and free your soul from fear.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 19. \u201cTo forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d \u2014 Lewis B. Smedes<\/p>\n 20. \u201cA matrimonio feliz<\/a> is the union of two good forgivers.\u201d \u2014 Ruth Bell Graham<\/p>\n 21. \u201cNot forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.\u201d \u2014 Anne Lamott<\/p>\n 22. \u201cThe first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 23. \u201cLet go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?\u201d \u2014 Leo Buscaglia<\/p>\n 24. \u201cLearning to forgive will help you remove a major roadblock to your success.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 25. \u201cForgiveness isn\u2019t approving what happened. It\u2019s choosing to rise above it.\u201d \u2014 Robin Sharma<\/p>\n 26. \u201cBlame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals.\u201d \u2014 Thomas S. Monson<\/p>\n 27. \u201cForgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.\u201d \u2014 George MacDonald<\/p>\n 28. \u201cAs long as you don\u2019t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind.\u201d \u2014 Isabelle Holland<\/p>\n 29. \u201cOnce a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.\u201d \u2014 Marlene Dietrich<\/p>\n 30. \u201cForgiveness is just another name for freedom.\u201d \u2014 Byron Katie<\/p>\n![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/couple-having-relationship-problems.jpg\")
<\/p>\nNO CONTESTES<\/h2>\n
![\"hombre](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/upset-man-sitting.jpg\")
<\/p>\nC\u00e1lmese y reeval\u00fae la situaci\u00f3n<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/upset-african-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nAcepta y valida tus emociones<\/h2>\n
![\"hombre](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/man-with-a-cellphone.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEscriba sus pensamientos y sentimientos<\/h2>\n
![\"chica](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/girl-writing-in-her-diary.jpg\")
<\/p>\nHable de ello con su c\u00f3nyuge<\/h2>\n
![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/serious-couple-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nObserve the situation from your spouse’s point of view<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/worried-pensive-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nDon’t let their words affect you negatively<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/young-sad-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nT\u00f3mate el tiempo que necesites para curarte<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/pensive-woman-walking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nReeval\u00fae su relaci\u00f3n<\/h2>\n
![\"bella](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/pensive-pretty-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nHable con sus amigos y familiares<\/h2>\n
![\"dos](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/two-women-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nBusque ayuda profesional<\/h2>\n
![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/couple-sitting-on-sofa.jpg\")
<\/p>\n9 citas sobre cuando tu c\u00f3nyuge dice cosas hirientes<\/h2>\n
![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/upset-couple-sitting.jpg\")
<\/p>\n55 citas que te ayudar\u00e1n a perdonar a tu c\u00f3nyuge<\/h2>\n
![\"hombre](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/guilty-young-man.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"feliz](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/happy-reconciled-couple.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"joven](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/young-couple-on-jetty.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/couple-in-love-embraced.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/multicultural-couple-hugging-.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/young-woman-crying-over.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"hombre](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/man-embracing-pensive-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\n