I spent most of my life listening to your promises and empty words. I kept hoping that that was the moment when you would finally change. I kept hoping that you had realized what an asshole you\u2019d been and now you wanted to make it better.<\/p>\n
Y entonces te di otra oportunidad como siempre hice.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n But, of course, nothing changed. Those promises and fake breakdowns you had were bullshit. You did it every time you sensed I was going to leave. So, to keep me and destroy me a little bit more, you lied. You guilted me into staying by giving me false hope, making me believe you\u2019d turn another page and start over.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t forgive myself<\/a> for being so blinded by you. I can\u2019t forgive myself for waiting for you to change. I can\u2019t forgive myself for wasting my life on you, on someone who didn\u2019t deserve me and never will.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n You took everything I had. You took my heart and my soul and you tortured them. You wanted to have someone by your side, someone in your own image, someone who suited you. I wasn\u2019t that person and you didn\u2019t want to admit it, so you tried to change me and at some point you did. You made me become someone else, someone you would like me to be.<\/p>\n At first, I didn\u2019t understand what you were doing. I thought we were fighting like any other couple. I thought we were two difficult personalities who had a hard time finding a compromise. But, as time passed by, I realized that all of it was a lie.<\/p>\n Me di cuenta de que era la \u00fanica que lo intentaba. Estaba regando una planta muerta, esperando que volviera a la vida y se me rompi\u00f3 el coraz\u00f3n en mil pedazos. Todo fue obra tuya.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Me rompiste cuando me hiciste sentir que yo era la loca.<\/a><\/strong><\/em> You acted so innocently and you always managed to put the blame on someone else, on me. You gave your best to convince me of things that weren\u2019t real, things that didn\u2019t happen. At first, I knew that whatever you accused me of was not true. And every time I confronted you, you had such good excuses, such believable excuses. After some time, I started doubting myself. I started thinking that something was wrong with me. I believed your lies and I thought it was all in my head. I thought that you were right. That is how you took away my self-respect. After that, you could do anything you wanted with me because I couldn\u2019t trust myself anymore.<\/p>\n Me rompiste cuando empezaste a controlarme.<\/strong> <\/em>You didn\u2019t have respect for who I was. You acted like I was your property and not another human being. All my needs and feelings were crushed to dust. But nothing mattered, as long as you were happy. Bit by bit, you completely isolated me from everybody else. My world suddenly became yours. My identity was gone. I was no longer myself because I became an insignificant part of you. You pulled me into your shadow because that was the only way you could feed me with your toxic thoughts. That was the only way you could control me. You had to hide me from the world because you didn\u2019t want the world to open my eyes.<\/p>\n Me rompiste cuando actuaste como si fueras algo que no eras.<\/strong> <\/em>You were a first-class act. I\u2019d never seen so much talent for acting. In the beginning, you were so perfect that I had the feeling you could fulfill my every wish. I had the feeling that you would make me the happiest woman alive. You were moving mountains for me and you made my every wish come true. But, that didn\u2019t last for long. Slowly, your act was getting weaker, you started to crack because no one can act for that long. And then, finally, your mask fell off and you showed me your true toxic self. Me enga\u00f1aste, mentiste y manipulaste<\/a>. No s\u00f3lo me hiciste todas esas cosas, sino que me hiciste creer que t\u00fa eras la v\u00edctima. Me hiciste creer que estaba abusando de ti con mi comportamiento imprudente y mis acciones.<\/p>\n You broke me when you didn\u2019t respect my boundaries.<\/strong><\/em> You never respected me enough to care about me. You never saw me as another human being, breathing and living by your side. You only saw me as a source on which you fed, as a source to build your toxic strength on. We all have things which we tolerate and things which we despise. Well, you didn\u2019t allow me to have either. You thought you had the right to decide what was right and what was wrong for me. Even when I fought against it, you ignored it and continued to do things your way.<\/p>\n Me rompiste cuando me pusiste ansioso.<\/strong> <\/em>I was fighting with anxiety and I didn\u2019t know why. I felt like crap, like I lost any control over myself and I didn\u2019t know why. I had this feeling of discomfort and fear raging inside me, tearing me apart and I didn\u2019t know what was causing it, until one day I finally opened my eyes. I realized what had been lying in front of me the whole time. I realized what was making me anxious but I didn\u2019t want to accept it. It was you, the whole time, just you.<\/p>\n When I realized that I\u2019d completely lost control over myself and when I saw that I was not in charge of my life anymore, I opened my eyes. I didn\u2019t care about what was going to happen to me. I wasn\u2019t afraid of you anymore because I knew that anything else was better than spending the rest of my life with you. That is how I managed to escape.<\/p>\n