{"id":16554,"date":"2020-04-30T10:07:17","date_gmt":"2020-04-30T10:07:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=16554"},"modified":"2022-12-20T15:41:07","modified_gmt":"2022-12-20T15:41:07","slug":"fobia-al-compromiso","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/fobia-al-compromiso\/","title":{"rendered":"Fobia al compromiso: qu\u00e9 es y c\u00f3mo afrontarla"},"content":{"rendered":"

A muchas personas las relaciones les resultan f\u00e1ciles. Conocen a alguien, se enamoran, invierten en su relaci\u00f3n y la ven florecer.<\/p>\n

There are some of us, though, who have what’s called commitment phobia or relationship anxiety.<\/strong><\/p>\n

S\u00ed, algunas personas tienen miedo a las relaciones comprometidas.<\/strong> Pero, \u00bfqu\u00e9 significa eso?<\/p>\n

\u00bfQu\u00e9 es la fobia al compromiso?<\/h2>\n

\"pareja
\nEstar en una relaci\u00f3n, sobre todo a largo plazo, es un reto incre\u00edble para los que tienen fobia al compromiso.<\/p>\n

S\u00ed, todos sabemos que la gente tiene cuestiones de compromiso <\/a>o ansiedad en las relaciones<\/a> pero \u00bfhasta d\u00f3nde llegan realmente?<\/p>\n

Let me tell you, they can go really far. They can go as far as to completely affect the person’s ability to make decisions when it comes to making choices in their life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

They experience love and life just like any other person, but when it comes to making decisions \u2013 especially those that require them to commit in any way \u2013 they freeze.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not to say that new relationships don\u2019t interest them \u2013 in fact, they are at their best when they meet their new potential partners.<\/p>\n

Lamentablemente, a medida que la relaci\u00f3n avanza y la otra persona empieza a esperar m\u00e1s compromiso, empieza a buscar una salida.<\/p>\n

It’s not that they don’t like the other person \u2013 they often do \u2013 but their feelings of anxiety that arise when they think about truly committing to someone are way too high.<\/p>\n

It’s hard for them to develop a healthy relationship with anyone, even when they find the right person for themselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sin embargo, hay distintos tipos de fobia al compromiso.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

Some won’t even try dating, but instead pursue super short flings, while some will pursue short relationships or even relationships that are months long The panic sets in when they start to believe they have to commit more deeply.<\/p>\n

Por lo tanto, puede que no haya relaciones en su pasado, o puede que haya muchas relaciones fallidas.<\/p>\n

Este problema concreto, aunque puede afectar tanto a hombres como a mujeres, se considera tradicionalmente una cuesti\u00f3n masculina.<\/p>\n

O\u00edmos hablar m\u00e1s de hombres f\u00f3bicos al compromiso que de mujeres f\u00f3bicas al compromiso.<\/p>\n

The truth is, commitment phobia applies to different things in a person’s life, not only romantic relationships.<\/p>\n

Puede afectar a la forma en que la persona con fobia al compromiso vive su vida en muchos aspectos, como la elecci\u00f3n de estudios, una ciudad para vivir o, b\u00e1sicamente, cualquier elecci\u00f3n en la vida.<\/p>\n

Now that we have some basic information about what commitment phobia is, let’s investigate it a bit further.<\/p>\n

Causas m\u00e1s comunes de la fobia al compromiso:<\/h2>\n

\"hombre<\/p>\n

The most common causes of commitment phobia usually come from the person\u2019s familia de origen<\/strong>y se presentan de muchas maneras diferentes. He aqu\u00ed algunos ejemplos:<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person’s childhood emotions and needs weren’t completely satisfied<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person felt abandoned as a child or an adolescent one way or another<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person saw that their parent’s relationship was completely dysfunctional<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person witnessed their parent’s divorce (sometimes messy, sometimes not)<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person had severe childhood trauma (such as family violence)<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person’s parent or caregiver had a personality disorder (such as narcissism)<\/p>\n

Sometimes, problems don’t lie in the person’s family though, but rather lie in their poor judgment which leads them to choose toxic partners.<\/p>\n

Para otros, sus problemas se derivan de cosas malas que les sucedieron en relaciones anteriores<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Esas causas incluyen:<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person has been in a serious relationship that ended with their partner abandoning them<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person has been hurt by a loved one and now has trust issues<\/p>\n

\u2022 The person has been in a relationship involving abuse, infidelity, abandonment etc.<\/p>\n

Again, there are some other causes, and some of them can be connected to the person’s overall mental health.<\/p>\n

Una persona que padece un trastorno de ansiedad puede ser m\u00e1s sensible a las cosas que suceden en su vida, lo que puede llevarle a desarrollar tambi\u00e9n ansiedad en las relaciones.<\/p>\n

A commitment-phobe’s 5 relationship fears:<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1. Tienen miedo de ser amados<\/h2>\n

\"mujer
\nPerhaps they weren\u2019t loved in their childhood, or they feel like any time someone says they love them they are going to end up hurt.<\/p>\n

Tienen miedo de dejarse querer. \u00bfSabes lo que dicen de \u00a0<\/span>la gente s\u00f3lo acepta el amor que cree merecer<\/span><\/a>?<\/p>\n

Bueno, esto es algo as\u00ed.<\/p>\n

Algunas personas con fobia al compromiso creen que no son dignas de amor. Como cualquier otro ser humano, anhelan el amor, pero al mismo tiempo temen recibirlo.<\/p>\n

They might take a nice thing their partner does and turn it into something bad. They might say things like ”Oh, she’s way to caring, it’s too much” or something similar.<\/p>\n

If this person is a girl, she might have been with men who can’t love her in the past and so isn’t used to being loved.<\/p>\n

Su autoestima es baja por un motivo u otro, y eso les hace pensar que ser queridos es algo que da mucho miedo.<\/p>\n

2. Tienen miedo de recrear otros patrones de relaci\u00f3n<\/h2>\n

\"joven
\nSi la persona ha visto a sus padres o a otras personas cercanas vivir relaciones disfuncionales o con patrones problem\u00e1ticos, puede sentirse obligada a liberarse de este ciclo de dolor.<\/p>\n

Probablemente vieron cosas desagradables mientras crec\u00edan o eran demasiado j\u00f3venes y algunos acontecimientos normales y corrientes, como el divorcio de sus padres, les afectaron profundamente porque eran vulnerables.<\/p>\n

They don’t want to repeat the things their parents (or other people) did, thus they prefer not to pursue committed relationships at all, in order to make sure these patterns don\u2019t develop.<\/p>\n

Certain things they saw people doing in their relationships caused them a lot of pain and they don’t want to recreate these patterns of toxic behavior in their own life.<\/p>\n

Relacionado: 15 se\u00f1ales inequ\u00edvocas de que una persona comprometida te quiere<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Temen que la relaci\u00f3n termine<\/h2>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

Uno de los mayores temores de las personas con sentimientos de ansiedad hacia las relaciones es el miedo a que la relaci\u00f3n termine.<\/p>\n

Nunca pueden comprometerse plenamente porque la idea de que la relaci\u00f3n termine un d\u00eda les asusta.<\/p>\n

La verdad es que cada persona asume un riesgo cuando se enamora de alguien.<\/p>\n

The more we get attached, either to our romantic partner or anything in our life, the bigger the risk of getting hurt once it’s gone.<\/p>\n

4. They are afraid they didn’t choose the right person<\/h2>\n

\"casi<\/p>\n

People with commitment phobia are constantly afraid that the person they are with isn’t right for them.<\/p>\n

Even when things are going perfectly, they keep thinking that there might be someone better for them out there, someone they still haven’t met.<\/p>\n

Temen que comprometerse con esa pareja rom\u00e1ntica en particular arruine sus posibilidades de conocer a esa persona perfecta imaginaria que tal vez s\u00f3lo exista.<\/p>\n

Puede parecer un miedo de compatibilidad, pero en realidad est\u00e1 relacionado con la forma en que percibimos el compromiso.<\/p>\n

5. Temen que una relaci\u00f3n siga siempre igual<\/h2>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

This might seem contradictory, but it’s really not. The relationship-avoidant person will constantly find flaws in their current relationship and their current partner.<\/p>\n

Committing to someone means accepting those flaws as a part of your life, and this is something they can’t deal with.<\/p>\n

They don’t like to think that their partner, or better yet their partner’s flaws, will remain forever.<\/p>\n

They hope that some things about their partner can be changed, and at the same time they’re afraid they won’t change.<\/p>\n

Adem\u00e1s, sienten que necesitan cambiar cosas de s\u00ed mismos, y eso podr\u00eda causar problemas en su relaci\u00f3n de compromiso.<\/p>\n

5 formas de superar la fobia al compromiso:<\/h2>\n

\"mujer
\nThe fear of commitment won\u2019t let you find safety.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t give you the chance to enjoy life, even though you think you\u2019re living it to the fullest. I know this because I was a commitment-phobe myself.<\/p>\n

Saltaba de un chico a otro, de una relaci\u00f3n a otra, de una ciudad a otra y nunca pod\u00eda mantener un trabajo durante m\u00e1s de seis meses.<\/p>\n

Hice todas estas cosas hasta el punto en que empez\u00f3 a significar algo para m\u00ed. Me rend\u00eda y me iba, sin dejar rastro tras de m\u00ed.<\/p>\n

I broke many hearts and I stopped taking risks simply because I didn\u2019t want my heart to break.<\/p>\n

Las razones de su <\/span>miedo al compromiso<\/span><\/a> can be many and they don\u2019t have to be the same as mine. I\u2019m simply here to tell you that there is a way you can cure yourself of it.<\/p>\n

1. Encontrar la profundidad<\/h2>\n

\"mujer
\nLas personas con problemas de compromiso tienden a rascar la superficie de las cosas.<\/p>\n

We stop digging the moment we see that it\u2019s going to get too deep for us, because it feels like we will drown. But no. Let\u2019s be honest.<\/p>\n

Tener profundidad significa ver el significado de las cosas y darles permiso para que formen parte de nuestras vidas.<\/p>\n

This is something we can\u2019t really run away from and we shouldn\u2019t want to run away from.<\/p>\n

En mi caso, el problema era que me enteraba de una cosa nueva hasta que se me pasaba la novedad y me aburr\u00eda al instante.<\/p>\n

This was also the case with men, because the moment I saw that they weren\u2019t a \u2018new thing\u2019 in my life anymore \u00a0<\/span>Simplemente me ir\u00eda.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Lo que ocurri\u00f3 es que me obligu\u00e9 a profundizar en las cosas y lo que vi era interesante y me produjo placer y felicidad.<\/p>\n

Simplemente permiti\u00e9ndome encontrar profundidad en las cosas, empec\u00e9 a comprometerme con ellas.<\/p>\n

2. Darse cuenta de que la intimidad s\u00f3lo se construye con el tiempo<\/h2>\n

\"pareja
\nTrue intimacy and a loving relationship toward all aspects of your life (mostly romantic) can only be built if you\u2019re very persistent and patient.<\/p>\n

Debido a traumas en nuestros primeros a\u00f1os, ahora tenemos desencadenantes para nuestras fobias, que es sobre todo la fobia a las consecuencias.<\/p>\n

So what happens is that you leave. You\u2019re afraid that you might hurt someone or that someone is going to hurt you and your internal instinct is to run away.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s not what life is about, right? We can\u2019t spend our entire lives running from feelings but we need to face them in order to conquer them.<\/p>\n

Lo que todos tenemos que hacer es elaborar una lista de valores fundamentales que nos sirva de gu\u00eda en los momentos en que tengamos ganas de huir de un determinado problema.<\/p>\n

You probably look at couples who\u2019ve been together for years and see their happiness, and want that same thing in your life.<\/p>\n

Esa felicidad, esa intimidad y que el amor s\u00f3lo puede construirse con el tiempo.<\/span><\/a> You don\u2019t get that by running away.<\/p>\n

3. You\u2019re not missing out on anything<\/h2>\n

\"joven
\nSo, you, as a commitment-phobic person, might also constantly be thinking that if you don\u2019t move to another town or city every few years you are going to miss out on something.<\/p>\n

Committing to something or someone doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll miss out on a better opportunity.<\/p>\n

Committing to something isn\u2019t about giving up on everything else in life but rather dedicating your time and energy to something that you find value in.<\/p>\n

Esto se aplica tambi\u00e9n a los lugares donde vives, a tus amigos y a tus relaciones sentimentales.<\/p>\n

There will never be a \u2018perfect\u2019 way to do a certain thing but your commitment to it can make it more than enough.<\/p>\n

4. Learn how to say \u2018no\u2019<\/h2>\n

\"mujer
\nWhen you have a fear of commitment, what happens is that you try to do so many things at once that you spread yourself too thin on things that most of the time don\u2019t even bring you that much joy in life.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why it\u2019s very important to learn how to say \u2018no\u2019.<\/p>\n

At first, everything seems to be so attractive and perfect but when you dig deeper you see that it can only bring problems (problems that you don\u2019t enjoy solving) so that it isn\u2019t worth trying.<\/p>\n

Instead, say \u2018yes\u2019 to one thing that\u2019s flawed but that you\u2019d love to make perfect.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the same with relationships. Don\u2019t say \u2018yes\u2019 to guys simply because you want to try out how it\u2019s going to go, but rather find one man you can say \u2018yes\u2019 to and work on your relationship so it can be the best one ever.<\/p>\n

5. Evitar pensar demasiado<\/h2>\n

\"se\u00f1ora
\nEs m\u00e1s f\u00e1cil decirlo que hacerlo, \u00bfverdad? Con demasiada frecuencia, las personas que tienen miedo al compromiso le dan demasiadas vueltas a las cosas hasta el punto de ver el final de una relaci\u00f3n antes incluso de que empiece.<\/p>\n

Pensar demasiado tambi\u00e9n puede llevarnos a tomar malas decisiones en la vida porque evitamos situaciones en las que podemos involucrarnos emocionalmente en cosas en las que podr\u00edamos salir perjudicados.<\/p>\n

We overthink certain outcomes that we can\u2019t control and that\u2019s what makes us jump to the next thing because it\u2019s easier than sticking to something that we need to put the effort into.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why you simply need to dejar de pensar demasiado<\/span><\/a> things that you can\u2019t control.<\/p>\n

They say that people who have anxiety live in the future, and I guess in a way that’s true.<\/p>\n

Stop worrying about the future so much and for the first time in your life you’ll feel light, and able to just live without fears.<\/p>\n

How to know you’re in love with a commitment-phobe: 5 se\u00f1ales de advertencia<\/b><\/a>:<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1. They don’t like using ‘girlfriend’ (or ‘boyfriend’)<\/h2>\n

\"mujer
\nWhen you meet his friends while walking down the street (because he obviously hasn\u2019t introduced you to them on purpose) he doesn\u2019t call you his girlfriend.<\/p>\n

Darte el privilegio de llamarte as\u00ed es demasiado compromiso para \u00e9l, ya que implica que te diriges hacia una relaci\u00f3n a largo plazo.<\/p>\n

Este es probablemente uno de los mayores banderas rojas<\/span> he’ll have – <\/span>cuestiones de compromiso<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n

2. Nunca usan la palabra con L<\/h2>\n

\"pareja
\nNunca, nunca usan la palabra \u00a0<\/span>AMOR<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll start to think that it will never happen, because not only don’t they say it now, it feels like they aren\u2019t even thinking about saying it at all.<\/p>\n

You can feel their love, and keep telling yourself they’re shy or insecure, but the truth is they probably still aren’t certain you’re the right person for them and telling you they love you would be way too much.<\/p>\n

3. Son completamente impredecibles<\/h2>\n

\"joven
\nThey won’t commit to anything! If you have a party they don’t RSVP, they either show up or they don’t.<\/p>\n

They aren’t willing to make plans for dates or meetings of any kind that are more than a couple of days away.<\/p>\n

Pero esto es s\u00f3lo para los m\u00e1s f\u00f3bicos al compromiso.<\/p>\n

Algunos, que tienen un menor nivel de cuestiones de compromiso<\/span><\/a>podr\u00eda ser capaz de hacer estas cosas.<\/p>\n

4. Tienen un mont\u00f3n de relaciones cortas en su pasado<\/h2>\n

\"hombre
\nThey\u2019ve had relationships, yes, but man they\u2019ve been casual.<\/p>\n

There’s not a sign of a long-term relationship in their past, and if there is, it’s a story they’ll never tell, because it’s probably the reason they started having relationship anxiety.<\/p>\n

If you’re hoping to be his first committed relationship, we get you. That could, of course, happen.<\/p>\n

Ten en cuenta que har\u00e1 falta mucho trabajo y comprensi\u00f3n, tanto por su parte como por la tuya, para conseguirlo.<\/p>\n

5. Tienen relaciones indefinidas con las personas<\/h2>\n

\"hombre
\nB\u00e1sicamente, todas las relaciones en su vida son casi relaciones<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n

They aren’t willing to openly state what people in their life are to them and define their relationships.<\/p>\n

Creen que hay que dejar abiertas todas las opciones, en general en la vida y en lo que se refiere a sus amigos e intereses rom\u00e1nticos.<\/p>\n

It feels like giving a definition to a relationship is impossible to them, so don’t try to have ”where is this relationship going?” talk as you won’t get an answer you’ll like.<\/p>\n

We hope we’ve answered the biggest questions you have about commitment phobia. If you’re the one who has it, we would be thrilled if our advice on how to overcome it has been helpful.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you think you’re in love with someone who has it, this article might help you understand them better.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Fobia<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many people find relationships easy. They meet someone, they fall in love, they invest in their relationship, and they see it blossom. There are some of us, though, who have what’s called commitment phobia or relationship anxiety. Yup, some people have a fear of committed relationships. What does that mean, though? What is commitment phobia?…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":86628,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29622],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29622,"label":"relationship advice"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Commitment-Phobia-What-It-Is-How-To-Deal-With-It.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29622,"name":"relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29622,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","parent":29620,"count":544,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29622,"category_count":544,"category_description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","cat_name":"relationship advice","category_nicename":"relationship-advice","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16554"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16554\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/86628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}