{"id":16574,"date":"2018-03-19T08:52:05","date_gmt":"2018-03-19T08:52:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=16574"},"modified":"2022-02-10T11:11:45","modified_gmt":"2022-02-10T11:11:45","slug":"la-destruccion-del-divorcio-resurge-de-las-cenizas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/la-destruccion-del-divorcio-resurge-de-las-cenizas\/","title":{"rendered":"La destrucci\u00f3n del divorcio: Resurgir de las cenizas"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s no secret\u2014ending a marriage is tough. Beyond tough.<\/em> Really, it\u2019s as tough as you and the person you\u2019re separating from making it. But, it\u2019s difficult to explain the damage to anyone who hasn\u2019t experienced the throes of divorce themselves.<\/p>\n

There is a whole host of emotions you\u2019ll experience during the battle and despu\u00e9s<\/a>.<\/strong> And yet, the end of one chapter marks the beginning of the next. There is a reason the partnership had to dissolve, and you\u2019ll have to stick it out to find out why.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a closer look at each emotion we may experience in the destructive path of divorce, discussing the importance of each and how to power through to the other side.<\/p>\n

Fracaso.<\/strong> <\/em>Una palabra que probablemente le ronde por la cabeza una y otra vez. Nunca quisiste ser una estad\u00edstica. El d\u00eda que te pusiste el anillo sab\u00edas que te lo quedar\u00edas para siempre. You were going to always remember your vows, \u2018til death do you part.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Getting divorced makes us feel like we\u2019ve failed, whether or not we\u2019ve done everything possible to make it work up to the point of the papers, regardless of the circumstances that have led us to this point.<\/p>\n

Algo muy dentro de nosotros nos dice que quiz\u00e1 no estar\u00edamos en esta dif\u00edcil situaci\u00f3n si nos hubi\u00e9ramos esforzado un poco m\u00e1s, si hubi\u00e9ramos reunido esa \u00faltima pizca de valor para salir adelante.<\/em><\/p>\n

Arrepentirse.<\/strong> <\/em>Esta es una pesada. Tanto si la separaci\u00f3n es el resultado directo de una acci\u00f3n que realizamos, de una recopilaci\u00f3n de acciones que realizamos, de las acciones de nuestra pareja o de las acciones de ambos por igual, a menudo nos arrepentimos. <\/em><\/p>\n

We ask a lot of \u2018What ifs\u2019 and our minds automatically try to resolve these with \u2018If onlys\u2019. We may regret certain things we said or did, didn\u2019t say, or didn\u2019t do. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018If only\u2019 this had happened, then this would have been the result. But the truth is far more complicated than this simplified formula, and it\u2019s too difficult to decipher what could have been done differently to avoid the relationship\u2019s demise.<\/p>\n

Culpabilidad.<\/strong> <\/em>This is closely related to regret, often coupled with it and it\u2019s a side effect of failure. We feel guilty for ending things, or for agreeing with our partner who has chosen to end the relationship that it\u2019s the right decision.<\/p>\n

Esto es especialmente cierto si estamos profundamente entrelazados en los c\u00edrculos sociales de nuestra pareja, manteniendo relaciones mutuamente estrechas con los mismos familiares y amigos.<\/em><\/p>\n

Esto es especialmente cierto si hay ni\u00f1os implicados.<\/strong> They ask a lot of questions, and there are often many we can\u2019t answer simply because there\u2019s either no good answer or no answer at all. Having to justify failure to others is a guilt-inducing task. By nature, we\u2019d rather run away and hide from our circumstances just long enough for the dust to settle so we can emerge and pretend it never happened.<\/p>\n

Miedo.<\/strong> <\/em>There\u2019s a lot of fear associated with the dissolution of intimacy, especially if the relationship has been long-standing. There have likely been many positive memories shared and good times had together.<\/p>\n

Tenemos una visi\u00f3n idealizada del matrimonio y aprendemos a una edad temprana que debemos casarnos con nuestro mejor amigo, nuestro amigo para siempre, alguien que sabemos que estar\u00e1 ah\u00ed el resto de nuestras vidas. So, when we realize this version of events isn\u2019t going to come to fruition for us, this can be petrifying.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dolor.<\/strong> <\/em>Dolor mental y emocional tan profundo que se convierte en f\u00edsico. Podemos vernos atrapados en un torbellino de depresi\u00f3n, ansiedad y p\u00e1nico, hasta el punto de sentir literalmente sus dolores en todo el cuerpo. <\/em><\/p>\n

El divorcio es doloroso.<\/strong> It\u2019s something we hope to never experience again. And many of us guard our heart thereafter, refusing to remarry or engage in a new partnership altogether, at least for a significant period of time. At worst, we enter into a new relationship but remain too guarded and keep our partner at arm\u2019s length.<\/p>\n

Entonces, \u00bfqu\u00e9 podemos hacer?<\/strong><\/p>\n

En resumen, el divorcio puede hacernos sentir bastante mal. Es algo que nos cambia la vida y nos obliga a tomar una nueva direcci\u00f3n imprevista. \u00bfC\u00f3mo podemos combatir esta negatividad y seguir adelante?<\/p>\n

Lo m\u00e1s importante que podemos hacer en medio de todo este caos es hacer un esfuerzo concertado para controlarnos a nosotros mismos<\/em><\/strong> regularmente. Esto parece una tonter\u00eda, una p\u00e9rdida de tiempo, quiz\u00e1s.<\/em> Sin embargo, es cualquier cosa menos una p\u00e9rdida de tiempo.<\/p>\n

Just like any other mistake we make in life, it is important to learn from it, so it doesn\u2019t happen again. More importantly, es importante conocernos a nosotros mismos<\/strong> <\/em>en esos momentos. Si nos centramos en lo que puede haber causado ese error en nosotros mismos, en lugar de huir de \u00e9l, podremos centrarnos en c\u00f3mo hacer las cosas de forma diferente en el futuro.<\/p>\n

He pasado por un divorcio<\/a>. A very messy one, in fact. I\u2019ll even venture to guess it\u2019s in the top one percent range for messiness. I\u2019ve felt all of these emotions and then some. But, you know what? Had I never gone through this formidable phase in my life, I would have never truly comprendido qui\u00e9n soy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Las cosas ten\u00edan que suceder exactamente como sucedieron, ser tan desastrosas como eran, para que yo llegara a un entendimiento sobre m\u00ed misma que creo que fue orquestado por la intervenci\u00f3n divina.<\/p>\n

Had I not experienced this, I would have been stuck in stagnation with all of my sins, and turning a blind eye to all of my ex\u2019s sins, trying to minimize my inner loneliness and depression just long enough to continue coasting. \u00bfQu\u00e9 clase de vida es \u00e9sa?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I can tell you with utter certainty that I would not be writing this article, or any articles in fact, if I hadn\u2019t gone through this hell. But, I now fully understand what makes me tick, and how I can help myself and others going forward.<\/em><\/p>\n

As\u00ed que puedo dar fe de la importancia de permitirnos sentirse plenamente<\/strong><\/em> cada una de estas cosas deleznables y sincerarnos con nosotros mismos sobre qui\u00e9nes \u00e9ramos hasta llegar a este punto y en qui\u00e9nes necesitamos convertirnos para reconstruir con \u00e9xito.<\/p>\n

Intentar apartar estas emociones o enmascararlas con sustancias y otros verdaderos derroches de tiempo s\u00f3lo prolongar\u00e1 el proceso de curaci\u00f3n.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mirando incesantemente hacia dentro y continuando siendo honestos con nosotros mismos, poco a poco cada emoci\u00f3n repulsiva que nos asola dar\u00e1 paso a la esperanza.<\/em><\/p>\n

Instead of surpassing these, choosing remaining fragile and, therefore, susceptible to the plight, we must summon the courage to face our fears and conquer them. If we do so, one by one, they will fall by the wayside and we will emerge to a beautiful new chapter\u2014life\u2019s second draft.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s no secret\u2014ending a marriage is tough. Beyond tough. Really, it\u2019s as tough as you and the person you\u2019re separating from making it. But, it\u2019s difficult to explain the damage to anyone who hasn\u2019t experienced the throes of divorce themselves. There is a whole host of emotions you\u2019ll experience during the battle and in the…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":16576,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29623],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16574","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29623,"label":"marriage"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483.jpeg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29623,"name":"marriage","slug":"marriage","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29623,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Establishing a happy marriage is not an easy task. Learning how to recognize red flags and deal with issues will help you make your marriage successful.","parent":29620,"count":474,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29623,"category_count":474,"category_description":"Establishing a happy marriage is not an easy task. Learning how to recognize red flags and deal with issues will help you make your marriage successful.","cat_name":"marriage","category_nicename":"marriage","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16574","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16574"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16574\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16576"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16574"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16574"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16574"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}