No dejabas de empujarme hacia abajo para darte una excusa para tu penoso comportamiento, para tus abusos.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\r\n Elegiste menospreciarme cada vez que comet\u00edas un error porque eso siempre fue m\u00e1s f\u00e1cil que admitir que t\u00fa tampoco eras perfecta, como no lo somos ninguno de nosotros.<\/p>\r\n You were just too much of a coward to accept it. It\u2019s impossible that such perfection as you are could ever make a mistake.<\/p>\r\n It\u2019s always someone else\u2019s fault and in our relationship, it was always me.<\/p>\r\n Pero s\u00e9 que me envidiabas. Estabas celoso de todo lo que hac\u00eda, especialmente de las cosas que yo hac\u00eda mejor.<\/p>\r\n That\u2019s why you made me feel bad about myself, like I was not good enough, nor would I ever be.<\/p>\r\n You used every chance to try to take me down because you couldn\u2019t accept the fact that I was better than you.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\r\n Sadly for you, you saw our relationship as a competition and what\u2019s even sadder is that you were losing and you couldn\u2019t take it, so you made sure I paid the price for my \u2018success\u2019.<\/p>\r\n The saddest part of all was that it was never a competition but your sorry, narcissistic ass couldn\u2019t realize that you were simply incapable because you\u2019re in love with yourself and you could never love anyone else, not even close to how you love yourself.<\/p>\r\n You always blamed me for your every failure. You called me incapable, stupid. I can\u2019t even remember all the nasty words you called me because I forced myself to forget.<\/p>\r\n Pero recuerdo lo fuerte que me gritaste, recuerdo que me encerr\u00e9 en m\u00ed misma y rec\u00e9 para que todo aquello parara ya.<\/p>\r\n Now I know it wasn\u2019t my fault. I could have never been guilty of your inability to control yourself, to restrain yourself from hurting others.<\/p>\r\n Lo disfrutaste y te dio un sentido de prop\u00f3sito. Pensabas que importabas, que eras grande.<\/p>\r\n Every time there was a problem, I failed to please you. I tried so hard to make you happy. I played by the rules, your rules, and I gave it my best, but even then that wasn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\r\n Siempre quer\u00edas m\u00e1s. Eso me hizo hundirme m\u00e1s y m\u00e1s en la desesperaci\u00f3n y la depresi\u00f3n.<\/p>\r\n No matter what I did, I couldn\u2019t make you satisfied. I was always one step behind.<\/p>\r\n It\u2019s like chasing something that is right in front of you and you see it but you know you\u2019ll never catch it and all your efforts are meaningless.<\/p>\r\n Empec\u00e9 a odiarme porque nada de lo que hac\u00eda era lo bastante bueno y, por el camino, me di cuenta de que nada ser\u00eda lo bastante bueno para ti. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\r\n Pensaba que era yo, que yo era el problema, as\u00ed que empec\u00e9 a odiarme porque cre\u00eda que era incapaz de amar.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\r\n Cuando empezamos a pelearnos, supe que lo mejor que pod\u00eda hacer era dejar que lo expusieras todo delante de m\u00ed sin decir una palabra.<\/p>\r\n I knew it was easier to keep quiet and nod, making you think you were right. There was no point in arguing with you because you always had to win and I didn\u2019t stand a chance from the start.<\/p>\r\n Quer\u00edas manipular y control<\/a> y lo conseguiste. Me hiciste creer que estaba loca porque de la nada le dabas la vuelta a la tortilla y fing\u00edas que lo sent\u00edas, s\u00f3lo para hacerme sentir mal.<\/p>\r\n Cada vez que lo hac\u00edas, pensaba que hab\u00eda ganado la batalla, pero no era m\u00e1s que una t\u00e1ctica furtiva para hacerme sentir culpable y conseguir que las cosas se hicieran a tu manera. Al final, me sent\u00eda orgulloso de m\u00ed mismo.<\/p>\r\n Pero ese orgullo pronto se desvanecer\u00eda cuando empec\u00e9 a darme cuenta de que estaban jugando conmigo.<\/p>\r\n Entonces me odi\u00e9 a\u00fan m\u00e1s.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\r\n Sometimes you were even good and kind to me. You would do me a favor or you would surprise me by doing something nice that I didn\u2019t expect.<\/p>\r\n What I didn\u2019t know then is that all your kindness and nice gestures were calculated.<\/p>\r\n I didn\u2019t know that right from the start you were planning on using them against me the next time you needed to find a way to manipulate me.<\/p>\r\n
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