{"id":17125,"date":"2018-03-30T07:08:45","date_gmt":"2018-03-30T07:08:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=17125"},"modified":"2021-08-12T10:34:14","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T10:34:14","slug":"para-el-amigo-que-piensa-que-apesto-tienes-razon-y-lo-siento","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/para-el-amigo-que-piensa-que-apesto-tienes-razon-y-lo-siento\/","title":{"rendered":"A la amiga que piensa que soy un asco... Tienes raz\u00f3n y lo siento"},"content":{"rendered":"

I thought long and hard about what you said to me. To sum it up, I took it to mean that you basically think I suck, and that I\u2019ve been a shitty friend to you. For that I am sorry. I actually didn\u2019t realize you felt this way.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s funny because I might have never known how you really felt if I hadn\u2019t told you about this one thing in particular that you did to upset me. I thought it was rude, and it hurt my feelings. That\u2019s how I am in general\u2014if something happens and I don\u2019t really like it, I will just address it directly at the time it occurs and then move on. Your response to me was to kind of eviscerate my character. You described me in ways I had never seen myself and honestly, I was taken aback with how quickly it came to you, like you had been holding it in for a while, letting it fester, and not telling me until I came to you with this one particular problem and then you finally had the chance to tell me how you really felt.<\/p>\n

Now, I get it. It\u2019s easy to become defensive. It\u2019s easy to shift blame or feign innocence, especially when you know exactly what you did, and that it was wrong. Instead of owning that, you justify that I deserved this treatment from you.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s much easier to put the responsibility back on me than to accept accountability for the fact that your actions, or lack thereof, hurt me.<\/strong> It\u2019s much easier to be mad at me than to face your own guilty conscience. So, instead of looking at the one thing you did that hurt me, you look at all of the things I have ever done that hurt you. You count them up, you tally the score, and you come to the natural and seemingly obvious conclusion that I am a worse friend than you; therefore, I do not get to be upset about this one thing you did based on all of the terrible things I have ever done.<\/p>\n

Despu\u00e9s de pensarlo detenidamente, tiene raz\u00f3n. No debo ser un buen amigo para ti<\/a>.<\/strong> I thought about defending myself a bit, pointing out to you some of the ways that I haven\u2019t totally sucked with regard to you\u2026but really\u2026if you can\u2019t see them, then they obviously aren\u2019t that awesome. I thought I\u2019d been putting effort into this relationship, but ultimately if you feel I wasn\u2019t, that is your perception and you\u2019re entitled to it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So where does this leave us? I have to be real here. I don\u2019t really think I can be any better to you than I have, and as that clearly is inadequate for you, maybe you are better off without me in your life right now. And really, I\u2019ve lost some enthusiasm for trying to fix a relationship with someone who thinks so poorly of me.<\/strong> Kind of like how you don\u2019t want to feel bad about that one thing you did that I said I didn\u2019t like, I don\u2019t want to feel bad about all the things I have ever done to you that I didn\u2019t know you were even mad about until five minutes ago. I don\u2019t want to prove you are wrong about me, and I, for real, don\u2019t have the energy to be better.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been putting a lot of thought into what kind of friend I want to be\u2014and I want to be a good one. It seems I\u2019ve failed you in that and, again, Lo siento mucho.<\/strong>, but at this point, I think if I stop putting so much energy into these relationships that are keeping score, I can be better in the ones that aren’t. I have actually had such an onslaught of this recently that when I counted, I realized there are at least six people I used to talk to on an almost daily that I don’t talk to at all anymore.<\/p>\n

This realization also left me wondering\u2026is it me?<\/strong> My remaining friends insist that I\u2019m alright to them. So maybe it\u2019s just a case of one\u2019s man\u2019s garbage is another man\u2019s gold? I\u2019m not for everyone and I understand that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I will not be so bold as to suggest that I don’t care. I do. I care a lot. So much so that I think it\u2019s reinforcing this depression I’m in<\/a>. But I need more time to focus on myself, my husband, and the significantly fewer friends I have who are sticking by me through this kinda shitty phase I’m going through.<\/p>\n

I think at this point we can both agree that I wasn’t what you needed when you needed it.<\/strong> Espero que las personas que tienes en tu vida puedan hacer algo mejor por ti, y que yo pueda hacer algo mejor por los que est\u00e1n en la m\u00eda. Te deseo todo lo mejor, y quiz\u00e1 podamos volver a conectar alg\u00fan d\u00eda con expectativas diferentes.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I thought long and hard about what you said to me. To sum it up, I took it to mean that you basically think I suck, and that I\u2019ve been a shitty friend to you. For that I am sorry. I actually didn\u2019t realize you felt this way. It\u2019s funny because I might have never…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":17126,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/ashton-bingham-184778-unsplash.jpg",769,499,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17125"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17125\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}