{"id":17498,"date":"2020-07-11T11:43:39","date_gmt":"2020-07-11T11:43:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=17498"},"modified":"2021-08-12T11:43:14","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T11:43:14","slug":"sobre-como-superar-a-un-manipulador-toxico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/sobre-como-superar-a-un-manipulador-toxico\/","title":{"rendered":"C\u00f3mo superar a un manipulador t\u00f3xico"},"content":{"rendered":"

Esto fue lo peor que me pas\u00f3 en toda mi vida. Ese maldito momento en que lo conoc\u00ed, cuando nuestros ojos se cruzaron. <\/span><\/p>\n

Hubieras pensado que nuestra historia ser\u00eda un momento de Hollywood y que nuestro amor ser\u00eda eterno e irrompible.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, something became eternal after that relationship and that was my hatred toward him. Instead of living the most beautiful days of my life, I\u2019ve gone through real hell raging with fire, tortured emotionally by a crazy and demented SOB.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I\u2019m writing this. I want to help you because I know how you feel. I know what you\u2019re going through. I know that you want to crawl into a hole and die. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re empty inside because he took everything from you by pretending to care, only to consume and use you for his pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know there are years of crippling pain and spilled tears behind you. I know that you can\u2019t even cry anymore because your tears have dried out. I know you want to scream, but your voice is gone. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I know you\u2019re walking, eating and living just because you have to. I know you won\u2019t be able to erase the memory of him and how he treated you for as long as you live.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Despu\u00e9s de romper las cadenas de su <\/span>manipulaciones<\/span><\/a> and abuse, I thought I will never love or be normal again. I go out, I talk to my friends, and I put on a fake smile because I don\u2019t want to burden anyone with my problems and my pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to show them that I\u2019m fine, but the truth is, I\u2019m not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Debajo de todas esas falsas expresiones faciales y esa falsa felicidad, me siento como otra persona sin rostro entre la multitud. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I feel like I\u2019m getting run over and I can\u2019t do anything about it. I feel like my broken emotions and the damage that was done are so much stronger than me.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m going to allow myself to live normally again. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m ever letting anyone get close to me again. I just don\u2019t know how to get that trust I once had back. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not even sure if I want it back\u2026I don\u2019t want to get hurt again\u2026I can\u2019t take it\u2026at least not now.<\/span><\/p>\n

So this is my story\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Nunca pude leer a la gente desde la primera vez que la conoc\u00ed. Siempre confi\u00e9 en todo el mundo porque pensaba que todo el mundo era como yo. Nunca tuve nada que ocultar y<\/span> Me sent\u00eda bien conmigo mismo<\/span><\/a>, so I never had the need to present myself as something I\u2019m not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Esto me quem\u00f3 muchas veces, pero mantuve mi fe en la gente. Era sencillamente imposible que todos estuvieran podridos y corrompidos por dentro. Siempre les daba una segunda oportunidad porque cre\u00eda que todos la merec\u00edan. <\/span><\/p>\n

I should have got used to disappointment and betrayal after living through so much of it, but I didn\u2019t, and somehow I would always come back stronger with one more valuable lesson I\u2019ve learned. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

But, this time it was different. This time, I was kicked to the ground so hard and I couldn\u2019t get up. I wanted to, but I was paralyzed with fear and pain.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I met a man who enchanted me. I thought he was so special, but deep inside, I had a feeling that I shouldn\u2019t play with fire. Something screamed from inside that I should turn around and go. <\/span><\/p>\n

But, I ignored that feeling because he intrigued me and I so badly wanted to see what was hiding behind that \u2018beautiful\u2019 face and charming smile. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nunca deb\u00ed intentar cambiarle. Nunca deb\u00ed ignorar todas las se\u00f1ales a su alrededor que me advert\u00edan que me fuera. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

So, I invited him to destroy my life and I gave him the chance of a lifetime, his biggest score ever\u2014me. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Me enamor\u00e9 de un hombre que s\u00f3lo se preocupaba de s\u00ed mismo. <\/b><\/p>\n

There was never \u2018we\u2019 in our relationship. It was always about him. As long as he was the happy one, as long as his needs and his wishes were taken care of, we were happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

My voice was fading with each new morning of our relationship. Even when I spoke, I wasn\u2019t heard. It would all go to waste because he never cared about what I had to say. <\/span><\/p>\n

He never cared about how I felt\u2014if I was sad, angry or even happy. But, every time he had something exciting or sad or it doesn\u2019t matter what going on in his life, I was, sadly, the first person he would tell all about it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Y tontamente, le escuch\u00e9. Cuando estaba triste, intent\u00e9 ser compasiva. Cuando estaba feliz, quer\u00eda alegrarme por \u00e9l. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pero, \u00bfc\u00f3mo entender y vivir sus emociones cuando <\/span>he doesn\u2019t give a damn<\/span><\/a> sobre la tuya?<\/span><\/p>\n

Me enamor\u00e9 de un hombre que nunca supo lo que era compartir. <\/b><\/p>\n

Era completamente ego\u00edsta y egoc\u00e9ntrico. Nunca pod\u00edamos ser felices al mismo tiempo. Cuando yo ten\u00eda una racha de suerte y cada vez que mi vida ten\u00eda la oportunidad de mejorar, \u00e9l estaba all\u00ed para destruirla. <\/span><\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t take it. He couldn\u2019t take the fact that I was doing better, that maybe I was even smarter and more capable than him. <\/span><\/p>\n

Entonces me hac\u00eda sentir miserable con manipulaci\u00f3n, culpabilizaci\u00f3n y <\/span>luz de gas<\/span><\/a>. He would use everything in his arsenal of emotional weapons just to defeat me and break me emotionally so I knew where my place was\u2014beneath him. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me enamor\u00e9 de un hombre tan d\u00e9bil que necesitaba culparme de todo.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"C\u00f3mo<\/p>\n

He could never face his problems like a real man because he was a coward. And he still is, only now he is feeding some other poor clueless woman with his fantasy stories. And she\u2019s buying it like I did but she\u2019ll see through him, hopefully before it\u2019s too late. <\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever things didn\u2019t turn out great for him, I was the one to blame. He would take all his anger out on me like I wanted things to go bad for him, like I was happy when he was miserable. Of course, I wasn\u2019t happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

En primer lugar, porque s\u00e9 lo que se siente cuando alguien se alegra de verte desgraciado, y en segundo lugar porque su desgracia signific\u00f3 un infierno para m\u00ed.<\/span><\/p>\n

The biggest problem is that I had absolutely no idea how to confront him and even when I tried, all hell would break loose. I had no idea how to explain to him that the fact he\u2019s miserable made me miserable, too. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wouldn\u2019t that be self-explanatory? Why would I even have to explain that to him? Why would he even think that I wanted to make him feel bad?<\/span><\/p>\n

Me enamor\u00e9 de un hombre que me hizo creer que pod\u00eda cambiarlo.<\/b><\/p>\n

Every time we hit the wall in our relationship and I couldn\u2019t take it anymore, he would do a gesture, something that gave me hope that he wasn\u2019t so bad after all. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cre\u00ed que podr\u00eda cambiarle, que hay algo dentro de \u00e9l que puede salir a la superficie. Pero ese fue mi error. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nadie me oblig\u00f3 a hacerlo; nadie me oblig\u00f3 a estar con \u00e9l. Lo eleg\u00ed yo misma y pens\u00e9 que podr\u00eda cambiar su coraz\u00f3n. Pens\u00e9 que podr\u00eda hacerlo menos ego\u00edsta, ense\u00f1arle a amar incondicionalmente. Pero estaba muy equivocada. <\/span><\/p>\n

Little flaws don\u2019t matter. We are all human; we all make mistakes. That\u2019s why I wanted to accept him for who he was, but the evil side of him took him completely over and controlled him. It was no longer about the small stuff. <\/span><\/p>\n

Su maldad empez\u00f3 a consumirme y a utilizarme. Su falta de empat\u00eda era irreversible y yo no pod\u00eda hacer nada al respecto.<\/span><\/p>\n

Me enamor\u00e9 de un hombre que me hac\u00eda dudar de todo lo que hac\u00eda. <\/b><\/p>\n

Perd\u00ed la confianza en m\u00ed misma. Dudaba de m\u00ed misma porque todo lo que hac\u00eda nunca era suficientemente bueno. Me sent\u00eda tan peque\u00f1a y sin importancia como si fuera incapaz de todo. Siempre encontraba un defecto en todo lo que hac\u00eda. <\/span><\/p>\n

Despu\u00e9s de alg\u00fan tiempo, cre\u00ed realmente en sus duras palabras. Empec\u00e9 a creer que era realmente est\u00fapido. Perd\u00ed toda mi confianza porque <\/span>me estaba menospreciando<\/span><\/a> constantly. After some time, I was even grateful that he loved me because I thought I was so pathetic that no one else would ever dream of loving me. I thought I didn\u2019t deserve to be loved by anyone, so his love was something I had to settle for. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me enamor\u00e9 de un hombre que borr\u00f3 mi verdadero yo y cre\u00f3 a otra persona. <\/b><\/p>\n

He changed me. He forced me to become something I never wanted, something I never was. I remember the sound of my laughter and I remember the look of my smile, but that\u2019s it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ya no sonre\u00eda ni me re\u00eda a carcajadas. Se convirtieron en un recuerdo feliz que tambi\u00e9n se desvanec\u00eda poco a poco. <\/span><\/p>\n

Las l\u00e1grimas y la tristeza se las llevaron. Lo \u00fanico que sab\u00eda era ahogarme en mis propias l\u00e1grimas y empapar la almohada en mitad de la noche, cuando \u00e9l ya no estaba y nadie pod\u00eda verme ni o\u00edrme. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mis paredes eran mis mejores amigas y lo sab\u00edan todo, aunque mi cara contaba mi triste historia con cada una de sus arrugas. Pero nadie quer\u00eda ver eso. <\/span><\/p>\n

And, it\u2019s all my fault. Every tear I shed was my own doing. If I hadn\u2019t wanted to save him, if I hadn\u2019t been so curious to see what was going on inside of him, none of this would have happened. I wouldn\u2019t have needed to be saved.<\/span><\/p>\n

Me enamor\u00e9 de un hombre que me ense\u00f1\u00f3 a luchar por m\u00ed misma.<\/b><\/p>\n

Strange isn\u2019t it? But in a way, all this pain I\u2019ve been through, this hell on earth, wasn\u2019t a complete waste. I\u2019ve learned something because I couldn\u2019t take any of his shit anymore. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned to fight for myself and take what belongs to me\u2026my freedom. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was acting a bit selfishly, but I wasn\u2019t doing it to hurt others\u2014I was doing it to save myself. I\u2019ve decided I\u2019ll turn my life around completely. I\u2019ve decided that people who don\u2019t care about me or about anyone or anything aren\u2019t worth my time. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided that those people can\u2019t be saved if they don\u2019t want to save themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t be saved until I decided to save myself. Until I decided I deserve better than what he was giving me.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided I will <\/span>elegirme a m\u00ed mismo<\/span><\/a> from now on. I\u2019ve decided I will love myself once again. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve put him in a storage box deep in my mind. I know that he will always be somewhere inside. I know everything he did will always be a part of me, but it won\u2019t consume and take me over because I\u2019ve finally said, \u201cit\u2019s enough\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

S\u00e9 que puedes guardarlo en lo m\u00e1s oscuro de tu mente y de tu alma, como hice yo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Lucharemos contra ellos toda nuestra vida, pero aprenderemos a controlarlos y a no dejar que vuelvan a controlarnos. <\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was the worst thing that happened in my entire life. That Goddamn moment when I met him, when our eyes locked. You would have thought our story will be a Hollywood moment and our love would become eternal and unbreakable. Well, something became eternal after that relationship and that was my hatred toward him….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":17499,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29631],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-getting-over-him"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29631,"label":"getting over him"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/riccardo-mion-584741-unsplash.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Leah Lee","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/leah\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29631,"name":"getting over him","slug":"getting-over-him","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29631,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","parent":29627,"count":124,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29631,"category_count":124,"category_description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","cat_name":"getting over him","category_nicename":"getting-over-him","category_parent":29627}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17498","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17498"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17498\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17498"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17498"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17498"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}