{"id":17610,"date":"2020-06-13T10:05:02","date_gmt":"2020-06-13T10:05:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=17610"},"modified":"2021-08-30T13:55:48","modified_gmt":"2021-08-30T13:55:48","slug":"lo-siento-si-mi-ansiedad-me-hace-dificil-de-amar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/lo-siento-si-mi-ansiedad-me-hace-dificil-de-amar\/","title":{"rendered":"Lo siento si mi ansiedad hace que sea dif\u00edcil quererme"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00bfCrees que no querr\u00eda ser normal? \u00bfCrees que causo todos los l\u00edos que pasamos porque as\u00ed me gusta?<\/p>\n

You think I\u2019m one of those who likes to confuse people and send mixed signals? None of that is true.<\/p>\n

Matar\u00eda por ser normal. Pero tener un desastre en mi vida es la \u00fanica forma que conozco de vivir.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to send mixed signals but half of my life I have no idea what I want because I\u2019m sure that no matter what I choose in life, my dear friend anxiety will force me to change my decision.<\/p>\n

I also don\u2019t like it but unlike you, I don\u2019t really have a choice, I have to live with it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d also like to wake up with a smile on my face, eager to embrace everything that the day has to offer me.<\/p>\n

Pero, por desgracia, me despierto con un nudo apretado en el est\u00f3mago, muy preocupada por todo lo que pueda salir mal ese d\u00eda. Y cada d\u00eda empieza igual.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

S\u00e9 que mi ansiedad hace que te cueste quererme, pero tambi\u00e9n hace que me cueste vivir.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You say it\u2019s all in my head and that I could control it if I tried hard enough. You think I haven\u2019t already? You think I don\u2019t know this?<\/p>\n

But you have no idea how it feels to have a restless army of thoughts in my head that won\u2019t go away.<\/p>\n

Nothing I do works, anxiety has occupied my mind and it isn\u2019t leaving.<\/p>\n

No tienes ni idea de lo dif\u00edcil que es concentrarse en lo que alguien est\u00e1 diciendo mientras mi ansiedad y mis inseguridades atacan cada c\u00e9lula de mi cuerpo.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Por ejemplo, el otro d\u00eda intentabas hacer planes para que tus amigos y yo estuvi\u00e9ramos juntos y al instante me entr\u00f3 el p\u00e1nico.<\/p>\n

I panicked about the idea of being surrounded by your friends, that\u2019s how irrational my anxiety is.<\/p>\n

Seguramente te extendiste y explicaste todo el plan en detalle, pero en el momento en que iniciaste el tema fui incapaz de escuchar nada m\u00e1s.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

Hablaste y me agobi\u00e9. Entr\u00e9 en p\u00e1nico. Me asust\u00e9. What if they don\u2019t like me? What if I say something stupid? <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00bfY si me averg\u00fcenzo a m\u00ed mismo o si te averg\u00fcenzo a ti? <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00bfY si me preguntan algo personal y me ruborizo o empiezo a murmurar? <\/em><\/p>\n

What if I get awkward, what if they think I\u2019m not good enough and that you should get someone who\u2019s normal and doesn\u2019t carry so much baggage?<\/em><\/p>\n

See, it was a simple, mundane task and I ruined that too. My anxiety ruined it actually but it\u2019s the same thing.<\/p>\n

Lo que a ti te parec\u00eda algo normal result\u00f3 ser mi pesadilla.<\/p>\n

It brought all my demons to the surface and once again I forgot that you don\u2019t care what others think of me.<\/p>\n

I forgot that you love me whether your friends accept me or not. I forgot I promised I\u2019d never think badly about myself. I forgot it all.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

S\u00e9 que te hice sentir como si necesitaras andar de puntillas a mi alrededor.<\/strong> S\u00e9 que te confundo tanto como me confundo yo. S\u00e9 que a veces te dejo sin palabras y at\u00f3nito.<\/p>\n

I know you don\u2019t understand. And I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry I can\u2019t explain myself, I\u2019m sorry I have irrational fears, I\u2019m sorry my palms get sweaty when we meet someone you know on the street and that I\u2019m unable to speak at all.<\/p>\n

S\u00e9 que ser\u00eda mucho m\u00e1s divertido enamorarse de una chica con un esp\u00edritu inquieto<\/a> que estar enamorado de una chica paranoica y ansiosa.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know it would be much easier to be with a girl who is fearless but you chose me the way I am and I can\u2019t tell you how much that means to me.<\/p>\n

I understand it\u2019s hard and even though I don\u2019t want you to leave me, I\u2019d understand if one day you se march\u00f3<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I always fear this love will become a burden to you but I wouldn\u2019t blame you for not being able to put up with me anymore.<\/p>\n

Hell, it\u2019s hard for me, who should\u2019ve learned to live with it by now, so I can\u2019t even begin to guess how it feels for you.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry if it takes me so long to respond to your messages, if you wait too long for me to make a decision, I\u2019m sorry for making plans I usually don\u2019t follow through on, I\u2019m sorry for always being late, for thinking too much before I speak, I\u2019m sorry for making you doubt yourself because of my own insecurities. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I wish I could make it all go away but I can\u2019t. I can only love you and hope it will be enough.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know it\u2019s hard. I know I\u2019m a mess. I know what I\u2019m doing to you and I\u2019m sorry. But know that you\u2019re the only thing in this world who makes me try so hard.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re the only reason I manage to fight my anxiety and you\u2019re the only one who motivates me to get out of my comfort zone and do the things I know I wouldn\u2019t be able to do alone.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry for being hard to love but I\u2019m grateful for having someone like you to be there for me even when I don\u2019t deserve it.<\/p>\n

Thank you for staying and being there for me even when I\u2019m unlovable. Thank you for choosing me even if you can have a million others. Thank you for loving me together with my flaws.<\/p>\n

Thank you for loving me even when it\u2019s hard. Because of you, I\u2019m a little less scared to live.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Lo<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You think I wouldn\u2019t want to be normal? You think I cause all the mess we go through because that\u2019s the way I like it? You think I\u2019m one of those who likes to confuse people and send mixed signals? None of that is true. I would kill to be normal. But having a mess…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":109126,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29634],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29634,"label":"anxiety"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Im-Sorry-If-My-Anxiety-Makes-Me-Hard-To-Love-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29634,"name":"anxiety","slug":"anxiety","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29634,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learning how to control your anxiety or help and understand your partner struggling with anxious thoughts will improve the quality of your life.","parent":22911,"count":30,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29634,"category_count":30,"category_description":"Learning how to control your anxiety or help and understand your partner struggling with anxious thoughts will improve the quality of your life.","cat_name":"anxiety","category_nicename":"anxiety","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17610"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17610\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/109126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}