{"id":18698,"date":"2020-09-15T08:32:26","date_gmt":"2020-09-15T08:32:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=18698"},"modified":"2022-02-27T12:34:14","modified_gmt":"2022-02-27T12:34:14","slug":"la-vida-despues-de-amar-a-un-sociopata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/la-vida-despues-de-amar-a-un-sociopata\/","title":{"rendered":"La vida despu\u00e9s de amar a un soci\u00f3pata"},"content":{"rendered":"

Soy una de esas chicas (o mujeres, si te place) que ha visto tantas cosas en su vida y pensaba que era lo bastante lista como para esquivar todas las balas que me disparaban.<\/p>\n

I thought I knew what abuse looked like and I thought I could spot a toxic person headed my way from miles away. It turned out I couldn\u2019t be more blind or more naive than I was.<\/p>\n

So what\u2019s my story? I had a history of abuse in my family and I swore that I would never let anything like that happen to me. I swore to wait for the right man regardless of how long it took me to find him.<\/p>\n

Anteriormente hab\u00eda tenido algunas relaciones, pero siempre contuve mis emociones y nunca me dej\u00e9 enamorar completamente de alguien.<\/p>\n

Esto sigui\u00f3 y sigui\u00f3 hasta que finalmente conoc\u00ed a alguien con quien pod\u00eda imaginar mi vida.<\/p>\n

Ver\u00e1s, este hombre era todo lo que yo buscaba, o al menos eso cre\u00eda. Era la definici\u00f3n pura de un hombre de verdad.<\/p>\n

Ten\u00eda \u00e9xito, era guapo, encantador, emp\u00e1tico y ten\u00eda la habilidad de hacerme sentir como si yo fuera la \u00fanica mujer del mundo.<\/p>\n

\"hombre<\/p>\n

Con \u00e9l me sent\u00eda como en una nube. Supongo que ya sabes c\u00f3mo va todo. Me parec\u00eda que \u00e9ramos literalmente una sola alma en dos cuerpos, que \u00e9l era mi llama gemela<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I thought that I no longer needed to hold back and that I\u2019d found what I\u2019d been looking for this whole time.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019ve been through what I\u2019ve been through in life you think that you\u2019ve had your fair share of pain and that after the rain it\u2019s time for a rainbow, that eventually it\u2019s time for the sun to shine.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I naively rushed into the arms of a man who I thought was different from all the rest I\u2019d had the chance to encounter.<\/p>\n

I lowered my guard thinking that my storms had come to an end, when in fact it was just the quiet before one of the biggest storms I\u2019d ever encounter in my life.<\/p>\n

The man I\u2019d fallen for was nothing like what I had looked for but he disguised himself so well that I was left absolutely unarmed before him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nos tomamos las cosas con relativa calma. Cre\u00eda que le estaba conociendo, cuando en realidad era \u00e9l quien consegu\u00eda averiguar todo sobre m\u00ed con tanta facilidad.<\/p>\n

\"hermosa<\/p>\n

Hablamos durante unos meses antes de decidirnos por fin a tener una cita y, cuando la tuvimos, ese hombre me conquist\u00f3.<\/p>\n

He was everything I expected one man to be. And the story he sold me\u2026 Vaya, s\u00ed que sab\u00eda con qu\u00e9 cartas jugar.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cuando le dije que era demasiado bueno para ser verdad se limit\u00f3 a re\u00edrse y a venderme la historia de una v\u00edctima.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Me cont\u00f3 c\u00f3mo hab\u00eda pasado por un infierno en el pasado, c\u00f3mo tanta gente le hab\u00eda utilizado, c\u00f3mo hasta entonces nunca hab\u00eda conocido a una mujer como yo, c\u00f3mo todas las dem\u00e1s iban detr\u00e1s de su dinero o de lo que tuviera que ofrecer y que en las relaciones \u00e9l era el que siempre acababa sacando la pajita m\u00e1s corta.<\/p>\n

Then he told me how he never allowed himself to lose faith in real love or how there would be someone worthy of his love, someone who wouldn\u2019t use him and someone who\u2019d be able to love him just the way he was.<\/p>\n

Era como si sacara las palabras de mi mente y las dijera en voz alta. Sonaron muchas campanas en mi cabeza.<\/p>\n

Tard\u00e9 alrededor de un a\u00f1o y medio en verle como realmente era.<\/strong> Se vendi\u00f3 tan bien y ca\u00ed tan ciegamente por \u00e9l, que baj\u00e9 la guardia tan r\u00e1pido que qued\u00e9 desarmada en esta batalla que orquest\u00f3 para nosotros.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

Para m\u00ed, se sent\u00eda como el hogar que nunca hab\u00eda tenido, se sent\u00eda como mi refugio seguro, se sent\u00eda como mi sue\u00f1o hecho realidad. Poco sab\u00eda yo que no era m\u00e1s que una pesadilla bien disimulada.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My friends tried to warn me, they tried to open my eyes, but how do you make someone see something they didn\u2019t want to believe?<\/p>\n

They told me that I\u2019d lowered my guard too fast, they told me I knew little or almost nothing about him, they begged me to not rush things but I wouldn\u2019t listen.<\/p>\n

Ahora me gustar\u00eda haberlo hecho, pero supongo que todo pasa por una raz\u00f3n y necesitaba caer de bruces para aprender algunas cosas m\u00e1s.<\/p>\n

I needed him to serve me as a lesson that I\u2019m not immune to abuse regardless of how well informed I am about it.<\/p>\n

Me dec\u00eda a m\u00ed misma que conoc\u00eda el juego, as\u00ed que me convenc\u00ed de que estaba preparada para jugar. Pero, \u00bfqu\u00e9 pod\u00eda saber del amor una chica tan necesitada de amor?<\/p>\n

Quer\u00eda hacerme la dif\u00edcil, quer\u00eda hacerle esperar y quer\u00eda que trabajara para conseguir mi amor, pero antes de darme cuenta estaba perdidamente enamorada de este chico.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

Y en lugar de que \u00e9l se esforzara por derribar mis muros, acab\u00e9 siendo yo la que se dobleg\u00f3 para mostrarle c\u00f3mo Yo no era como los dem\u00e1s o c\u00f3mo yo era digno de su amor y c\u00f3mo<\/em> I actually understood everything he\u2019d been through.<\/em><\/p>\n

God, I tried so hard for him. I tried to understand his \u2018brokenness\u2019, I tried to be there for him, I justified his shitty behavior toward me and I strongly believed I could \u2018fix\u2019 him.<\/p>\n

Me dije que ser\u00eda yo quien cambiar\u00eda a este hombre.<\/p>\n

Poco sab\u00eda yo que estaba cayendo en su red y que me enred\u00e9 tanto que tardar\u00eda meses en liberarme de ella y a\u00fan m\u00e1s en sanar despu\u00e9s de una relaci\u00f3n t\u00f3xica.<\/a><\/p>\n

Despu\u00e9s de s\u00f3lo unos meses de estar con \u00e9l, empec\u00e9 a preguntarme qu\u00e9 me hab\u00eda pasado, \u00bfd\u00f3nde hab\u00eda desaparecido esta mujer mayor, feliz e independiente? No la ve\u00eda por ninguna parte.<\/p>\n

I was no longer this positive and outgoing person. I no longer laughed, I didn\u2019t speak up, nor did I stand up for myself anymore.<\/p>\n

I got so tired of being constantly put down, I got tired of having to argue with him day after day, I got so scared that I\u2019d again do something that would trigger his anger. So, I remained silent.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

In the beginning, I was so happy that he wasn\u2019t one of those guys who constantly went out, I was so happy he chose me over going out with his friends, I was so happy to finally be someone\u2019s priority<\/a> que echaba de menos su comportamiento antisocial.<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t staying in for me, he was making me stay home because it was what he actually liked.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I cut everyone off because he made me do it, because each time I\u2019d go out without him, he\u2019d make me feel guilty for leaving him alone that I eventually made myself a prisoner of our home and our love.<\/p>\n

Al principio, me encantaba su personalidad alfa hasta que me di cuenta de que me hab\u00eda despojado totalmente de mi independencia. <\/strong><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t an alpha personality, it was a sociopathic disorder, one that results in a great need for dominance. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Sol\u00eda admirar su impulso de ser el l\u00edder y su necesidad de hablar claro, pero luego me di cuenta de que s\u00f3lo quer\u00eda ser escuchado y que su comportamiento no ten\u00eda nada que ver con su impulso, era su enfermedad la que le guiaba.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"hombre<\/p>\n

Siempre fui una persona muy intuitiva y captaba las cosas con facilidad, pero con \u00e9l era como si todos mis sentidos estuvieran apagados. Me pregunt\u00e9 y me preguntaron muchas veces por qu\u00e9 me qued\u00e9 tanto tiempo.<\/p>\n

And the answer is simple\u2014I was blinded by love. Love makes us do crazy things and I never saw him as an actual abuser, I always thought he was treating me badly because of his past.<\/p>\n

My empath side was constantly on and I couldn\u2019t be mean to him even in the moments he deserved it the most.<\/p>\n

Y lo di todo por este hombre, de verdad. Lo di todo, di mi amor, mi tiempo, mi compromiso, mi independencia, mi todo.<\/strong>, hasta que no me qued\u00f3 nada.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Me cost\u00f3 un tiempo levantarme, me cost\u00f3 un tiempo admitir ante m\u00ed misma lo que estaba pasando. No sabes lo que me cost\u00f3 decir en voz alta que estaban abusando de m\u00ed.<\/p>\n

No sabes cu\u00e1nto valor necesit\u00e9 para mirarme en el espejo y convencerme de que deb\u00eda alejarme.<\/strong><\/p>\n

No sabes cu\u00e1nta fuerza me hizo falta para volver a luchar por fin, para hablar, para recuperar mi antigua vida, para sacar a la superficie una vez m\u00e1s a esa chica fuerte e independiente.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

The aftermath of his abuse lasted even after we split. These kinds of guys don\u2019t ever leave you alone. But I wasn\u2019t gonna ever let myself become a victim.<\/p>\n

S\u00ed, abusaron de m\u00ed, s\u00ed, me manipularon y s\u00ed, acab\u00e9 siendo una de esas chicas... que se perdi\u00f3 por un hombre t\u00f3xico<\/a> pero al final, me liber\u00e9 de sus cadenas. No soy una v\u00edctima, soy una guerrera.<\/p>\n

Mira, podr\u00eda haber dejado que lo que pas\u00e9 me destruyera o me hiciera crecer.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I chose this other option. I not only chose to learn from it but I swore not to be harsh on myself or hate myself for ever allowing him to get to me. I understand now that I\u2019m a human being and that I make mistakes and that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n

You know, I\u2019m proud of myself actually.<\/strong> Yes, I have been so naive to fall willingly into the claws of such a distorted man but there isn\u2019t much I can do about it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m proud because I didn\u2019t let myself drown in my sorrow.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m proud because I eventually stood up and I\u2019m proud that regardless of the hell I\u2019ve been through, regardless of the manipulation or the constant putting down, I rose above it all and now I\u2019m finally able to see I\u2019m free.<\/p>\n

\"mujer<\/p>\n

What I\u2019ve come to realize despu\u00e9s de amar a un soci\u00f3pata<\/a> is that I\u2019m way stronger than I give myself credit for.<\/strong> Aprend\u00ed que a veces en la vida hay que caer para poder levantarse de nuevo.<\/p>\n

I learned that no matter how much you think you know, there are always things to be learned. There are always two sides to one story and it\u2019s up to us to uncover them.<\/p>\n

Deber\u00eda estar enfadada con \u00e9l y conmigo misma, pero no lo estoy. If I hadn\u2019t fallen for him, if he hadn\u2019t treated me as badly as he did, I\u2019d never have learned what exactly I\u2019m made of.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now I know what kind of strength I possess, now I know I\u2019m capable to love even when one doesn\u2019t deserve it and I can say I\u2019ve finally grown emotionally too.<\/p>\n

Me quiero y I love who I\u2019m becoming<\/a> despu\u00e9s de experimentar esta tormenta llamada abuso soci\u00f3pata.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I love every inch of my body my abuser hated, I love myself each time I choose to speak up instead of dimming my voice and each time I allow myself to be empathic and gentle to another human being, each time I feel love, I know deep in my bones that I didn\u2019t let my abuser win and being able to be kind despite the hell I\u2019ve been through is my biggest victory in life.<\/p>\n

\"La<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am one of those girls (or women, if it pleases you) who\u2019s seen so much in her life and I thought that I was smart enough to dodge all the bullets shot my way. I thought I knew what abuse looked like and I thought I could spot a toxic person headed my way…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":115597,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Life-After-Loving-A-Sociopath-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":314,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":314,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18698","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18698"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18698\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/115597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}