I was waiting for the camera crews to come out from the shadows when my very serious of a boyfriend decided to inform me he was no longer \u2018sexually attracted\u2019 to me. First, I was in shock. Then I was mostly grateful that my fight or flight was impaired at that moment. Any normal girl would have taken a dagger to the asshole who was deciding to tell his girlfriend, on her BIRTHDAY, yes, on my birthday, that he couldn\u2019t do this anymore.<\/p>\n
As I watched his lips move up and down, I zoned out into another dimension. In my brain I was thinking, isn\u2019t attraction the first thing that happens in a relationship? So why now was this epiphany just coming to him? Confusion ran through my mind. Confusion ran through my mind like wildfire.<\/p>\n
The abundant amount of support and endless encouragement I gave him when it came to what was important to him\u2014those so-called Ironmans and a close call with an almost job loss, Yo estaba all\u00ed. Siempre estaba all\u00ed para levantarle cada d\u00eda.<\/strong> Yo estaba all\u00ed para ayudarle a levantar esos bloques de confianza cuando necesitaba un empuj\u00f3n extra de \u00e1nimo. Lo elogi\u00e9, lo felicit\u00e9 y, s\u00ed, hasta le limpi\u00e9 las malditas heridas cuando se cay\u00f3 de la bicicleta compitiendo en esos Ironman. Yo estuve all\u00ed.<\/strong> Yo estaba all\u00ed para todo esto y yo estaba all\u00ed mientras estudiaba para mis ex\u00e1menes, trabajando a tiempo completo y a\u00fan as\u00ed le dediqu\u00e9 tiempo para darle el amor que cre\u00eda que se merec\u00eda.<\/strong> I did not ask for anything from him except just a little bit of his heart and attention in return. I never understood why he couldn\u2019t have just given just a little of himself…<\/p>\n Looking back on it, I now understood why he couldn\u2019t support me the way I supported him. In addition to his salary-earning full-time job, he had another full-time job catering to the 40 year-old spinning instructor, the 35 year-old Ironman girl and the 32 year-old aspiring country singer. They were introduced to me as \u2018amigos<\/strong>\u2019. I was so naive\u2014I actually believed a good-looking man could have female friends. After all, I\u2019m an attractive female and I have plenty of male friends who are truly just friends. Well, I may have been naive but I\u2019m not stupid. My girl radar was up on high alert after a few rounds of questioning him about his friends. I was truly just asking about what they did and he turned it around to hacerme sentir como si fuera el loco<\/strong><\/a>. He said \u2018all my questions\u2019 reflected my own insecurities (no, asswipe, I truly was interested in who they were, what they did, etc.) He tried very hard to deflect and make me feel as if I was some crazy, psycho bitch. He filled my head with his lies.<\/p>\n Back to my birthday\u2026 I felt so sad and lonely and never had I felt such humiliation. His words cut me to the core of my being. It took him this long to determine he wasn\u2019t attracted to me?<\/p>\n Afortunadamente, con la ayuda de otros, pude ver que eran SUS propias inseguridades t\u00f3xicas las que hab\u00eda proyectado en m\u00ed. He was doing his best to destroy me\u2014until there was nothing left.<\/strong> Casi le hab\u00eda dejado ganar con sus enfermizos juegos mentales. Casi le hab\u00eda dejado ganar despoj\u00e1ndome de mi coraz\u00f3n y mi alma.<\/p>\n Poco a poco aprend\u00ed a rezar menos por su desaparici\u00f3n y por los recuerdos dolorosos y m\u00e1s por el arte de superar el dolor.<\/strong> En alg\u00fan momento aprend\u00ed a superar el dolor y me di cuenta de que cada d\u00eda me promet\u00eda a m\u00ed misma volver a ser la mujer que era antes de conocerle.<\/p>\n Sab\u00eda que necesitaba ayuda y lo que me ayud\u00f3 a convertirme en mi botiqu\u00edn de primeros auxilios para superarlo fue la alegr\u00eda que me daba correr. Correr se convirti\u00f3 en una necesidad para m\u00ed, como la comida y el agua.<\/p>\n Correr era mi v\u00eda de escape m\u00e1s especial y se convirti\u00f3 en mi sesi\u00f3n diaria de terapia<\/strong> when I couldn\u2019t stop those hurtful words echoing throughout my mind. Running helped me find my own voice.<\/p>\n I needed to run. I needed to run every day. I needed to run for my own sanity. I\u2019m not sure if it is because of the endorphins that are released but running became my drug of choice when dealing with the pain.<\/p>\n Yo relaciono correr con ser el mejor antidepresivo que se puede tomar.<\/strong> Correr requiere fuerza y resistencia f\u00edsica.<\/strong> Running helped my body physically and mentally. Physically, running helped improve my much-lost sleep at night caused by the haunting, painful memories. Mentally, running helped me to think clearly and to rebuild my self-esteem and ego\u2014which had been stripped to absolutely nothing.<\/p>\n Running wasn\u2019t just about distance and mileage for me. I set goals mentally. Each run, me promet\u00ed seguir corriendo hasta que el dolor y el p\u00e1nico de sus recuerdos t\u00f3xicos fueran cada vez menores y su voz enmudeciera.<\/strong> Me promet\u00ed a m\u00ed misma que en cada carrera me enfrentar\u00eda a los miedos que me hab\u00eda infundido.<\/p>\n Correr me ense\u00f1\u00f3 algo sobre la vida en general. Algunos d\u00edas ser\u00e1n mejores que otros. Some days you\u2019ll have the absolute best run of your life and some days you\u2019ll barely find the fuel to keep your legs going.<\/strong> Igual que algunos d\u00edas con \u00e9l apenas pod\u00eda soportar el dolor y otros era totalmente invencible.<\/p>\n Correr fue mi remedio y mi mecanismo para recuperar el control de mi vida. As\u00ed que te animo a que te pongas a sudar, abras ese botiqu\u00edn de primeros auxilios que incluye zapatillas y un conjunto bonito. Corre hasta que el dolor sea cada vez menor y tu la fuerza vence<\/strong> toda su negatividad.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was waiting for the camera crews to come out from the shadows when my very serious of a boyfriend decided to inform me he was no longer \u2018sexually attracted\u2019 to me. First, I was in shock. Then I was mostly grateful that my fight or flight was impaired at that moment. Any normal girl…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":19391,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/adult-beautiful-black-clothes-1040424.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":314,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":314,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19390\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}