{"id":20085,"date":"2018-06-22T07:38:15","date_gmt":"2018-06-22T07:38:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=20085"},"modified":"2022-01-19T15:07:18","modified_gmt":"2022-01-19T15:07:18","slug":"mi-felices-para-siempre-resulto-ser-mi-peor-pesadilla","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/mi-felices-para-siempre-resulto-ser-mi-peor-pesadilla\/","title":{"rendered":"Mi \"felices para siempre\" result\u00f3 ser mi peor pesadilla"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cuentos de hadas y felices para siempre<\/em> existen, pero tambi\u00e9n cosas tan horribles como la traici\u00f3n y la infidelidad. Tanto si enga\u00f1as como si te enga\u00f1an, la infidelidad nos ense\u00f1a algunas lecciones importantes sobre las relaciones. A m\u00ed me toc\u00f3 sufrirla y result\u00f3 ser una de las experiencias m\u00e1s desgarradoras y devastadoras de mi vida.<\/p>\n

Cuando me top\u00e9 con la amarga realidad de que mi supuesto cuento de hadas no era m\u00e1s que una farsa<\/a>, it was like someone had pulled the rug from under my feet. It seemed like I was falling into a deep, dark pit and I am falling and falling and couldn\u2019t seem to stop! When I had all the solid proof in front of me, I literally froze. It was mind-numbing feeling.<\/p>\n

But I must say, as so many other people say in my position, that I should have seen it coming. When something seems too perfect, it surely isn\u2019t. When you face the bitter facts, it looks like the fog has cleared. No one should make the same mistake that I did. I should confess that I have always been a positive person. There is nothing wrong with that but I was positive to such an extent that it has allowed people in general \u2013 friends, family, colleagues to walk all over me. I have always been inclined to see the good in people, no matter what. It was my life ideology.<\/p>\n

But one needs to know this \u2013 clear as day \u2013 people can be horrible, mean and insensitive and no amount of good you do for them is going to change them. Yes, there are good people and there are bad people and this awful experience of being cheated on made me realize that I couldn\u2019t go on being empathic and understanding towards people who hurt me. After my boyfriend\u2019s infidelity, no matter how hurtful it was, it taught me about myself. I began to see relationships and love in a whole new light. I came face to face with my own strength which I didn\u2019t think I had.<\/p>\n

\"MiA veces pienso que podr\u00eda haberme ahorrado todo esto. Segu\u00eda negando la sensaci\u00f3n visceral que ten\u00eda de que algo no iba bien. Tanto mi novio como mis amigos me convencieron, con bastante \u00e9xito, de que se trataba de mi inseguridad, ya que nunca hab\u00eda estado en una relaci\u00f3n sentimental. relaci\u00f3n amorosa<\/a> for so long. It had been eight months since we had been going out. During our sixth month together, this feeling just kept nagging at me. That there was someone else. That I wasn\u2019t the only girl in his life.<\/p>\n

We did have a lot of mutual friends and knew the same people. But I had started noticing that he had begun to act differently but subtly though. For starters, there were some new additions to his vocabulary which weren\u2019t there in the beginning and we all know for a fact that when we spend a lot of time with someone, we do pick up the things they say and how they say it.<\/p>\n

Eso fue lo primero, pero lo dej\u00e9 pasar. Despu\u00e9s, hubo algunos casos en los que se ausentaba durante dos o tres horas y me ment\u00eda en la cara diciendo que se hab\u00eda quedado sin bater\u00eda en el m\u00f3vil. Cada vez que ocurr\u00eda algo as\u00ed, los d\u00edas siguientes eran una completa felicidad y yo sol\u00eda reprenderme por dejar volar mi imaginaci\u00f3n. En realidad, era \u00e9l intentando compensarme por haberme enga\u00f1ado.<\/p>\n

I discussed all of this with our close friend but all I got in response was that I was being paranoid and if I don\u2019t stop I\u2019ll end up losing something really great. A steady relationship – which I never had the experience of being in before. So, I just stopped talking about it and ignoring these telltale signs which I obviously shouldn\u2019t have. I am the kind of person who tries to avoid confrontation as much as possible and maybe deep down I didn\u2019t want to find something ugly. And I tried to avoid it for as long as possible. I mean, everything is going so good. We have a great time, have great chemistry, we live together so I can certainly forgive these absences now couldn\u2019t I? I shouldn\u2019t mess it up by being jealous and paranoid.<\/p>\n

But I should tell you that this gut feeling mechanism we have \u2013 it is there for a reason. The gut feeling that we get \u2013 it is nature\u2019s way of informing us. One should never ignore their gut feeling. It never lies. All of us happen to be equipped with an intuition and some of us choose to embrace or ignore it. I acknowledged it alright but never paid much attention to it.<\/p>\n

Being cheating on is an awful experience. There is nothing more terrible than knowing that the person you had put all your trust in has broken it. The knowledge that you put your trust in the wrong person who wasn\u2019t worthy of your love, attention, loyalty and most importantly \u2013 time, is heartbreaking. Because the time you have given or spent with someone, you are never going to get it back. Ever.<\/p>\n

So, I have learned now that I\u2019ll never again doubt my gut feeling or delay acting upon what it suggests. Well, nothing big happened when I got to know about his infidelity. I, who has always been an advocate of personal space and privacy, resorted to using a aplicaci\u00f3n para espiar al c\u00f3nyuge<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I found out he was meeting with other women in secret and not only that, he had been chatting and sexting with them when I was in the same room! And I thought he had been playing games on his cell phone. As I stated earlier, I had always supported personal growth and privacy so it never occurred to me to check his cell phone before – ever. He knew that too that is why there was no lock on his phone and he had been doing all of this rather confidently.<\/p>\n

\"Mi<\/p>\n

Le\u00ed sus mensajes de texto, acced\u00ed a sus registros de llamadas, a sus chats en las redes sociales y a los lugares en los que hab\u00eda estado. Fueron los tres peores d\u00edas de mi vida. Me hab\u00eda vuelto totalmente insensible y cuando supe que hab\u00eda tenido suficiente.<\/p>\n

Le envi\u00e9 por correo electr\u00f3nico las capturas de pantalla y me fui.<\/p>\n

Yes, I couldn\u2019t say a word. The pain and betrayal were too much to bear and after the things I read, I couldn\u2019t bring myself to see his face. I was filled with this bitter rage, remorse and so much pain that I felt someone had taken out my heart and ripped it into pieces. This was the relationship I had really thought could lead somewhere. But seems like I was more of a backup to show that he could be in a steady relationship. Turns out, he was and can never be a one-woman man.<\/p>\n

I believe in forgiveness. I do. Have I forgiven him? No. But I certainly have forgiven myself. I don\u2019t deserve to torture myself by repeatedly asking myself what went wrong. Was she prettier, funnier or smarter than me? I made myself miserable. I deserve to forgive myself for placing my trust in the wrong guy and giving me everything I had to offer. My love, time, emotions. But I cannot berate myself for loving someone who hurt me like this. You forgive your cheating partner or not, that is up to but forgiving yourself is the first most thing you need to do.<\/p>\n

My tendency to always look for the good in people is only appreciable when I don\u2019t let them walk all over me. It is no more a good trait if I keep doing it just for the sake of convincing myself that there was good in him \u2013 once. More than forgiving him, I deserved my own forgiveness for not packing and leaving sooner.<\/p>\n

Fue duro. Me destruy\u00f3 emocional y mentalmente. Pero lo super\u00e9. Poco a poco. La mayor lecci\u00f3n que aprend\u00ed fue que, a veces, las personas a las que m\u00e1s queremos son las que m\u00e1s nos decepcionan. Al final del d\u00eda, se te puede ocurrir toda una lista de defectos para consolarte a ti mismo y determinar la raz\u00f3n por la que tus seres queridos te han decepcionado. compa\u00f1ero enga\u00f1ar\u00eda<\/a>. Instead, look at what is good in you and remind yourself, you don\u2019t need a cheater in your life.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fairytales and happily-ever-afters do exist but so do things as horrifying as betrayal and infidelity. Whether you cheat or are cheated on, infidelity teaches us some major relationship lessons. I happened to be on the receiving end of it and it turned out to be one of the most heart-wrenching and devastating experiences of my…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":20086,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/35963591_865669156956492_4572375329523367936_n-1024x455.jpg",1024,455,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}