I know I am probably the last person you want or expect to hear from. And I know you don\u2019t want anything to do with me and I assume that writing to you is another one of my selfish acts but I just can\u2019t help it.<\/p>\n
I am sorry to reopen your wounds and to remind you of everything you\u2019ve been through. I am sorry that even now I can\u2019t be a better man and just let you be because the truth is that I am not writing this to you to make you feel better\u2014I am writing this for myself. Because I hope it will help me with my conscience and to make myself feel better.<\/p>\n
Yep, I am obviously still the same selfish asshole I\u2019ve always been. But at least I\u2019ve grown enough to realize it, to accept it and to admit it.<\/strong><\/p>\n But that doesn\u2019t make any of it better, does it? It doesn\u2019t make me a better person or a bigger man in your eyes, does it?<\/p>\n I am not writing this to you to get you back, although sometimes I secretly hope that will happen. But I am very well aware that I\u2019ve lost all my chances with you and that something like that is far from possible.<\/p>\n Lo escribo porque quiero al menos intentar darte una explicaci\u00f3n de todo lo que pas\u00f3. No porque espere que me entiendas, sino para explicarme e intentar entenderme.<\/strong><\/p>\n I am writing this because I want you to know that I am finally taking all the responsibility for everything I\u2019ve done to you and to us and because I want you to see that I finally realized everything.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve realized I was an psic\u00f3pata emocional<\/a> who ruined the only good thing I had in life\u2014our relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n Que fui un gilipollas que te ahuyent\u00f3 con mi toxicidad e inseguridades.<\/p>\n Que era malo para ti y que tomaste la decisi\u00f3n correcta cuando finalmente abandonaste la lucha y cuando finalmente te rendiste conmigo.<\/strong><\/p>\n Porque te salvaste.<\/strong><\/p>\n S\u00ed, t\u00fa tambi\u00e9n intentaste salvarme, pero despu\u00e9s de muchos a\u00f1os, viste que eso era imposible. Viste que siempre seguir\u00eda siendo la misma persona negativa y destructiva de siempre. Viste que s\u00f3lo te arrastraba conmigo y que no te quedaba nada por hacer para salvarme.<\/p>\n Porque la verdad es I didn\u2019t want to be saved<\/a>. Y nunca te permit\u00ed que me ayudaras a sanar.<\/p>\n