{"id":238564,"date":"2025-05-22T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-22T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=238564"},"modified":"2025-05-22T09:50:46","modified_gmt":"2025-05-22T07:50:46","slug":"relationship-behaviors-that-are-actually-power-plays-in-disguise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/relationship-behaviors-that-are-actually-power-plays-in-disguise\/","title":{"rendered":"18 Relationship Behaviors That Are Actually Power Plays in Disguise"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s not sugarcoat it\u2014love can be confusing as hell. Sometimes what looks like passion is control. What sounds like \u201ccaring\u201d is actually manipulation. <\/strong>And what feels like closeness? It’s just someone trying to tighten the leash. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the deal: not all relationship behaviors are as innocent as they look. Some are subtle power plays dressed up in sweet words,<\/strong> fake concern, or \u201charmless\u201d habits. And unless you’ve got your eyes wide open, it’s easy to mistake control for connection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So let\u2019s peel back the cozy illusion. Here are 18 sneaky behaviors that seem romantic or normal\u2014but are actually about control.<\/strong> And no, you\u2019re not \u201ctoo sensitive\u201d for noticing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. “I Was Just Kidding”\u2014But Somehow, You\u2019re Always the Punchline<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"\/
\n \u00a9 eNotAlone<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever noticed how you\u2019re always the punchline in their jokes? At first, you might laugh it off, thinking it\u2019s harmless teasing. But when the laughter fades, you\u2019re left nursing that sting, questioning if you\u2019re just too sensitive.

It\u2019s not about a sense of humor; this is about keeping you small while they get to look clever.<\/a> If you try to call them out, you\u2019re hit with, \u201cRelax, it was just a joke!\u201d Suddenly, you\u2019re both embarrassed and silenced.

This kind of humor is all about dominance with a smile. It makes you doubt your right to feel hurt, wrapping control in sarcasm. You deserve someone whose laughter feels safe, not sharp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Keeping Score Like It\u2019s the Emotional Olympics<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Keeping
\n \u00a9 Psych Central<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever felt like every little thing you do gets logged away for future reference? Maybe he did the dishes last Tuesday, and now you\u2019re hearing about it every time you ask for help.

Suddenly, love starts to feel like a competition, not a safe space. Instead of teamwork, you get passive-aggressive reminders of all their efforts<\/a>\u2014a running tab that only gets paid when you \u2018even the score.\u2019

This isn\u2019t partnership\u2014it\u2019s emotional bookkeeping designed to make you feel like you always owe them. Healthy love isn\u2019t about keeping receipts. It\u2019s about showing up for each other without expecting to cash in later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Deciding When You\u2019re Allowed to Be Upset<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Deciding
\n \u00a9 Verywell Mind<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever been told you\u2019re \u2018too emotional\u2019 whenever you express your feelings? It\u2019s like your emotions need a permission slip signed by them before they\u2019re valid.

You end up second-guessing your reactions, wondering if you\u2019re actually being unreasonable or just made to feel that way. Little by little, your gut instincts get replaced by their rules.

This isn\u2019t about \u2018helping you calm down\u2019; it\u2019s about controlling the narrative of what\u2019s acceptable.<\/a> Nobody else gets to be the gatekeeper of your feelings. Your emotions are real, and they deserve respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. \u201cLet Me Handle It\u201d \u2013 But You\u2019re Never Asked<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\u201cLet
\n \u00a9 Psych Central<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes people step in to help, and that\u2019s sweet. But if you notice your voice constantly being steamrolled \u2018for your own good,\u2019 that\u2019s not support\u2014it\u2019s strategy.

It starts small: picking your meal at a restaurant, speaking for you at a gathering, or managing your schedule without asking. After a while, you start feeling invisible, like your opinions don\u2019t even matter.

This isn\u2019t about being helpful; it\u2019s about running the show. When your choices and preferences get bulldozed, it\u2019s time to ask: who\u2019s really benefitting? You deserve to have a say in your own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Withholding Affection Like It\u2019s a Cookie You Didn\u2019t Earn<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Withholding
\n \u00a9 Yahoo<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever felt like love suddenly disappears when you push back or speak up? Affection, compliments, or even simple attention vanish as soon as you step out of line.

You\u2019re not a puppy; love isn\u2019t a treat to be earned for \u2018good behavior.\u2019 This tactic leaves you hungry for approval, always wondering if you need to apologize just to get basic kindness back.

Withholding affection isn\u2019t about teaching lessons\u2014it\u2019s about control.<\/a> Healthy relationships don\u2019t run on reward systems. You deserve warmth and love, not cold shoulders handed out like punishments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Making You Doubt Your Memories (A.K.A. Gaslighting Lite)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Making
\n \u00a9 Greatness<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever walked away from an argument wondering if you\u2019re losing your mind? If your partner regularly denies things they said or did, making you question your memory, you\u2019re not imagining things.

It\u2019s classic gaslighting, just with less drama<\/a>\u2014think of it as Gaslighting Lite. You start to second-guess everything, feeling like maybe you\u2019re just too forgetful.

But don\u2019t be fooled. This isn\u2019t about miscommunication\u2014it\u2019s about emotional rerouting. If you leave conversations feeling unsteady on your feet, it\u2019s time to trust yourself again. Your reality is valid, and you deserve to feel secure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Giving the Silent Treatment Like It\u2019s an Olympic Sport<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Giving
\n \u00a9 The Counselling Place<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Nothing cuts deeper than being shut out on purpose.<\/a> The silent treatment isn\u2019t about needing space; it\u2019s about sending you a message\u2014obey, or get iced out.

You replay the argument a hundred times, desperate to fix it so things go back to \u2018normal.\u2019 But normal means you tiptoe around, afraid to do anything that might cause another freeze-out.

This isn\u2019t communication\u2014it\u2019s emotional hostage-taking. You deserve someone who talks things out, not someone who disappears until you beg for peace. Real love faces problems, not people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Always Being the Victim\u2014No Matter What They Did<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Always
\n \u00a9 Healthline<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever noticed how, no matter what went wrong, they always end up as the wounded party? They could yell, break promises, or blame you\u2014and yet somehow, you\u2019re left apologizing to comfort them.

It\u2019s emotional judo: they flip the script so you\u2019re always on the defensive. No matter how the fight started, it ends with you feeling guilty and them collecting sympathy points.

This isn\u2019t vulnerability; it\u2019s manipulation. A true partner owns their actions and cares about your feelings too. Don\u2019t let someone else\u2019s victim narrative erase your reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Monitoring Who You Talk To \u201cBecause I Trust You\u2014It\u2019s Them I Don\u2019t\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Monitoring
\n \u00a9 Psych Central<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI trust you, it\u2019s just your friends I don\u2019t.\u201d Sounds protective, right? But it\u2019s really just the beginning of surveillance disguised as concern.<\/a>

Maybe they want access to your texts, scroll through your social media, or question every new friend. What starts as \u2018cute\u2019 jealousy soon becomes a GPS tracker on your life.

Trust doesn\u2019t come with a monitoring app. You should be able to have your own circle, your own moments, without feeling watched. Real love sets you free; it doesn\u2019t put you on lockdown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Telling You How to Dress, Speak, or \u201cPresent Yourself\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Telling
\n \u00a9 Verywell Health<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever had every outfit come with a side of commentary? Or felt like every dinner party was suddenly a makeover show you didn\u2019t sign up for?

It might sound like concern\u2014”I just want you to look your best!”\u2014but it\u2019s really about control. When your clothes, words, or overall vibe need their constant approval, your uniqueness gets squeezed out.

You\u2019re not a project to be managed. You should feel good in your skin and your voice, not edited down to fit their preferences. Your style is yours\u2014full stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Pretending They Don\u2019t Hear You Until You\u2019re Screaming<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Pretending
\n \u00a9 Loving at Your Best<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever feel like you need to shout to get heard? At first, you speak up calmly, but your words just float away while they pretend not to notice.

Eventually, you\u2019re the one raising your voice, and suddenly you\u2019re the \u2018dramatic\u2019 one. This is less about mishearing and more about training you to escalate just to get basic attention.

Selective listening isn\u2019t an accident\u2014it\u2019s a power tactic. You shouldn\u2019t have to turn up the volume to get respect. Being heard is a right, not a reward for yelling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. Constantly Playing Devil\u2019s Advocate\u2014But Only When You Need Support<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Constantly
\n \u00a9 The Irish Times<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Opening up to someone should feel safe, but some people just love to play the \u2018other side\u2019\u2014especially when you need backup most.

You\u2019re pouring out your heart, and suddenly they\u2019re defending the person who hurt you. It doesn\u2019t make them look smart, it just makes you feel alone in your own story.

This isn\u2019t intellectual debate\u2014it\u2019s a power flex. Real support means being in your corner when you need it, not making you feel like you\u2019re always on trial. You deserve backup, not a sparring partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. Being Generous\u2014But with Strings You Didn’t See Coming<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Being
\n \u00a9 Empowerful Girls<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Gifts are supposed to be about joy, but sometimes generosity comes with invisible strings. Maybe it\u2019s a weekend trip, a fancy dinner, or a surprise present\u2014followed by subtle reminders of \u2018what you owe.\u2019

The expectation isn\u2019t always about money. Sometimes it\u2019s your time, your loyalty, or even your silence. Suddenly, a sweet gesture feels more like an investment they expect to collect on.

Real love doesn\u2019t require repayment. If you start to feel like every nice thing comes with a price tag, pay attention. That\u2019s not generosity\u2014it\u2019s a trap in shiny wrapping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. Using \u201cYou\u2019re So Lucky to Have Me\u201d as a Relationship Weapon<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Using
\n \u00a9 Metro<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Confidence is nice, but entitlement is a different story. When someone constantly reminds you how lucky you are to have them, it\u2019s not a compliment\u2014it\u2019s a leash.

Suddenly, you start questioning your worth, feeling like you should just be grateful for their presence. It\u2019s their way of keeping you on your toes, as though you could never do better.

Healthy love lifts you up, not locks you in. If someone keeps dangling their own greatness over your head, it\u2019s time to check whose ego is really running the show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. Rewriting History to Paint Themselves as the Hero<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Rewriting
\n \u00a9 Heal Behavioral Health<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever noticed how their version of events makes them out to be a saint, even when you both know what really happened? Suddenly, every fight becomes a fairytale where they did no wrong.

When one person is always the hero in their story, it\u2019s usually because they\u2019re rewriting the script to fit their ego. You end up doubting your own memory or feeling like you can\u2019t argue without being made the villain.

Storytelling is one thing\u2014distorting reality for control is another. Your truth matters. Don\u2019t let anyone edit you out of your own story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. Acting Jealous Like It\u2019s Proof of Passion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Acting
\n \u00a9 Verywell Mind<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jealousy can feel flattering at first\u2014someone wants you all to themselves! But soon it twists into something suffocating, with every glance or conversation questioned.

What starts as \u2018cute\u2019 protectiveness quickly turns into accusations and suspicion. Suddenly, your independence feels like a threat, and you\u2019re walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off.

Jealousy isn\u2019t love\u2014it\u2019s fear dressed up as devotion. You deserve a partner who trusts you, not one who uses jealousy to pull the strings. Freedom is sexy; insecurity isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

17. Bringing Up Your Insecurities\u2014Right When You\u2019re Gaining Confidence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Bringing
\n \u00a9 Global English Editing<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

You finally start to feel good\u2014maybe you landed a promotion, or you\u2019re just rocking a new look\u2014when suddenly, they throw out a comment that makes you second-guess everything.

It could be as subtle as, \u201cAre you sure you\u2019re ready for that?\u201d or a snarky remark about your outfit. Somehow, every high moment comes with a sprinkle of doubt from them.

This isn\u2019t about protecting you from disappointment. It\u2019s about keeping you from shining too bright. Anyone who dims your light when you\u2019re rising isn\u2019t a partner\u2014they\u2019re a saboteur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

18. Love Bombing Followed by Cold Withdrawal<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Love
\n \u00a9 Shape<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

One day, you\u2019re getting showered with affection, texts, and grand gestures\u2014like you\u2019re the center of their universe. Next day? It\u2019s radio silence, and you\u2019re left wondering what you did wrong.

This hot-cold routine isn\u2019t about passion, it\u2019s about keeping you hungry for attention. You start craving those highs, willing to do almost anything to get the love-bombing back.

It\u2019s not romance; it\u2019s manipulation. Real love isn\u2019t a roller coaster. You deserve steadiness, not emotional whiplash.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s not sugarcoat it\u2014love can be confusing as hell. Sometimes what looks like passion is control. What sounds like \u201ccaring\u201d is actually manipulation. And what feels like closeness? It’s just someone trying to tighten the leash. Here\u2019s the deal: not all relationship behaviors are as innocent as they look. Some are subtle power plays dressed…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":238563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29625],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-238564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationship"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29625,"label":"toxic relationship"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/18-Relationship-Behaviors-That-Are-Actually-Power-Plays-in-Disguise-1024x532.jpg",1024,532,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Selma June","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/selmajune\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29625,"name":"toxic relationship","slug":"toxic-relationship","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29625,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","parent":29620,"count":228,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29625,"category_count":228,"category_description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","cat_name":"toxic relationship","category_nicename":"toxic-relationship","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238564","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=238564"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238564\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":238610,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238564\/revisions\/238610"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/238563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=238564"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=238564"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=238564"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}