Cuando estaba con \u00e9l, nunca ten\u00eda que preocuparme. Nunca tuve que preguntarme qu\u00e9 le gustaba y qu\u00e9 no. Conoc\u00eda su estilo, lo conoc\u00eda al dedillo.<\/p>\n
Todo era relajado. Me recog\u00eda e \u00edbamos a los sitios que nos gustaban a los dos. Yo sab\u00eda c\u00f3mo le gustaba mi pelo y qu\u00e9 perfume ponerme. Todo era tan sencillo.<\/p>\n
Now, you\u2019re picking me up.<\/b> I\u2019m waiting by the door, nervous, looking at my dress, wondering if I should have gone with the blue and not the red one. I\u2019ve been ready for the last half hour.<\/p>\n
I would normally light a cigarette while I\u2019m waiting but I don\u2019t know if you\u2019re a smoker or not. I don\u2019t know if the smoke will bother you.<\/p>\n
So instead I\u2019m sitting on the sofa with my feet nervously tapping on the floor and my eyes glancing at the time.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m fed up, I can\u2019t sit any longer. I get up and I stare at the mirror dubiously, gazing at my untamed curly hair. You\u2019ll be here in 10 minutes.<\/p>\n
What if you don\u2019t like curly hair? What if you\u2019re a straight hair type of a guy?! Maybe I should have gone with the straight look.<\/p>\n
\u00a1A la mierda! No hay tiempo suficiente para cambiarlo ahora.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Then it hits me\u2026 but wait! Why am I worrying what he likes and what he doesn\u2019t like. I\u2019m the way I am and I\u2019m not planning on changing for anyone.<\/p>\n But that sudden moment of realization and acceptance of self-worth doesn\u2019t last long.<\/p>\n Casi inmediatamente empec\u00e9 a examinar mi cuerpo, cent\u00edmetro a cent\u00edmetro, para seguir buscando las cosas que podr\u00edan no gustarle.<\/p>\n The doorbell rings! You\u2019re here. <\/b><\/p>\n I silently whisper to myself: \u201cOkay, I almost positively know what this is going to be like.\u201d I\u2019m going to nervously play with my food while trying to untame the wild thoughts running around my head about whether you find me attractive or not.<\/p>\n With him, I never had to worry. I knew he liked my body, I knew he wouldn\u2019t judge me for eating a greasy burger and making a mess of myself.<\/p>\n Then the check will come, we\u2019ll fight over who\u2019ll pay for it. I won\u2019t let you and in the end, you\u2019ll insist and I\u2019ll cave.<\/p>\n Then you\u2019ll leave me wondering if you got offended because I let you pay. Anyway, there is no way of knowing for sure.<\/p>\n We\u2019ll date for a while. You\u2019ll say stupid things just to make me laugh. You\u2019ll make a fool out of yourself when I\u2019m sad, to lift me up.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll send me texts that you miss me and when I go to sleep I won\u2019t be able to close my eyes because my heart races with just one thought of you.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll give me the feeling of true love starting to grow from nothing. You\u2019ll make me happy and I\u2019ll think to myself: \u201cGod, it\u2019s happening again!\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n We\u2019ll be official. You\u2019ll be proud to call me your girlfriend. We will have date night, we will watch movies cuddled up on your sofa till morning.<\/p>\n We\u2019ll go out and eat in restaurants, we\u2019ll go on a vacation together.<\/p>\n Then one night, after we\u2019ve both had a bit more to drink, I\u2019ll have the need to open up to you. I\u2019ll tell you all about my childhood, my traumas, my heartbreaks.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll talk with my eyes swollen with tears. And you\u2019ll listen. And you\u2019ll say you understand.<\/p>\n We\u2019ll sleep together. I\u2019ll be scared and nervous and you\u2019ll do everything to make me comfortable. You\u2019ll be gentle and it will be different.<\/p>\n I made love before but not with you. I knew his pleasures and his habits, I don\u2019t know yours.<\/p>\n Then we\u2019ll become best friends. I will have so many happy memories with you that after some time, things won\u2019t remind me of him anymore.<\/p>\n Poco a poco, se desvanecer\u00e1 de mi memoria y la \u00fanica persona que quedar\u00e1 ser\u00e1s t\u00fa.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll tell you everything that is on my mind. You\u2019ll tell me everything as well and we\u2019ll both love it. My life won\u2019t be just mine anymore.<\/p>\n If I don\u2019t know what\u2019s happening with you, it will feel like a part of me is missing. I\u2019ll seriously be a part of you and you\u2019ll be a part of me.<\/p>\n