{"id":39085,"date":"2019-06-25T07:43:32","date_gmt":"2019-06-25T07:43:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=39085"},"modified":"2022-02-23T00:37:11","modified_gmt":"2022-02-23T00:37:11","slug":"finalmente-descubri-por-que-soy-un-iman-para-los-hombres-toxicos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/finalmente-descubri-por-que-soy-un-iman-para-los-hombres-toxicos\/","title":{"rendered":"Por fin he descubierto por qu\u00e9 soy un im\u00e1n para los hombres t\u00f3xicos"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mi vida amorosa es una gran historia desordenada y mis ex fueron una decepci\u00f3n t\u00f3xica tras otra.<\/p>\r\n

It was really hard to handle. I would get my hopes up, thinking to myself \u201cfinally somebody normal,\u201d then suddenly all whole toxic hell would break loose. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

Empezar\u00eda el abuso emocional. Hacerse la v\u00edctima, culpabilizar, juzgar, criticar y todo lo que sigue el patr\u00f3n de manipulaci\u00f3n t\u00f3xica<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\r\n

Volv\u00eda a repetirse la misma escena y sent\u00eda que me ahogaba en mis propias l\u00e1grimas, en mi propio dolor.<\/p>\r\n

Con cada decepci\u00f3n, mi coraz\u00f3n roto se debilitaba, las heridas se hac\u00edan m\u00e1s profundas y todo mi ser se vaciaba emocionalmente. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

\"Por<\/p>\r\n

I knew that something was off. I couldn\u2019t pin it all down to bad luck and their emotional instability. That there was something about me that they were drawn to.<\/p>\r\n

\u00bfPero qu\u00e9 era?<\/p>\r\n

\u00bfHe hecho algo mal? \u00bfHay algo defectuoso dentro de m\u00ed que desencadena ese mal comportamiento?<\/p>\r\n

Me estaba volviendo loca pensando en todos los posibles escenarios que respond\u00edan a por qu\u00e9 todas mis relaciones estaban condenadas a un final tan horrible. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

I can\u2019t tell you the exact day, but somewhere down the line, it all became clear to me. When I finally found myself again, when I was far from my last toxic ex, I found reasons why toxic men are drawn to me as if I were a magnet.

It wasn’t one thing, it was a number of small subconscious things I was doing out of love. Also, I possess traits toxic men lack but desperately want to have.<\/p>\r\n

My last relationship was proof of that. I\u2019ll explain a few of my toxic relationships through this last one because that\u2019s when I decided that enough is enough. I deserve better.<\/p>\r\n

Fui demasiado comprensivo<\/b><\/p>\r\n

\"Por<\/p>\r\n

Para ponerlo en palabras m\u00e1s sinceras, siempre pon\u00eda excusas por cada mierda que hac\u00eda. Lo amaba tanto que permit\u00eda que me faltara el respeto.<\/p>\r\n

Por ejemplo, yo me arreglaba para nuestra cita a las 20.00 y \u00e9l llegaba a las 22.00. Discut\u00edamos un poco y luego actu\u00e1bamos como si nada hubiera pasado. Discutir\u00edamos un poco y luego har\u00edamos como si no hubiera pasado nada.<\/p>\r\n

On other occasions, he would play texting mind games with me. For instance, he wouldn\u2019t text me back until the next day.<\/p>\r\n

I would say to myself that he probably went to bed early or he would tell me some lame ass excuse. It doesn\u2019t matter; I didn\u2019t sleep all night thinking about all the worst case scenarios.<\/p>\r\n

Estaba demasiado disponible<\/b><\/p>\r\n

Cog\u00eda el tel\u00e9fono en cuanto me llamaba, por mucho que me ignorara antes.<\/p>\r\n

He would prioritize his friends, family, work, hobbies\u2026 but never me. I always came last. I was always available when it was convenient for him to come over or go somewhere.<\/p>\r\n

B\u00e1sicamente me dio por sentado porque vio que pod\u00eda.<\/p>\r\n

Confi\u00e9 en \u00e9l a pesar de mi buen juicio <\/b><\/p>\r\n

Las historias que me contaba, las excusas que me daba, todas me parec\u00edan inveros\u00edmiles y a veces incluso irreales, y sin embargo decid\u00ed creerle.<\/p>\r\n

In reality, I knew better. I just wanted to believe him because I liked him\u2026 because I cared\u2026 because I wanted him to be someone I can trust.<\/p>\r\n

Nunca deb\u00ed ignorar a mi instinto que me estaba mostrando todas las banderas rojas.<\/p>\r\n

Jug\u00f3 la carta de la empat\u00eda<\/b><\/p>\r\n

\"Por<\/p>\r\n

Soy un emp\u00e1tico<\/span><\/a>Simpatizo mucho con los dem\u00e1s, sobre todo cuando hay sentimientos rom\u00e1nticos de por medio. \u00c9l vio eso en m\u00ed. Lo vio y lo us\u00f3 en mi contra.<\/p>\r\n

Me contaba alguna triste historia de c\u00f3mo la vida le hab\u00eda tratado mal, de c\u00f3mo no ten\u00eda suerte, de c\u00f3mo su ex era una zorra y de c\u00f3mo le faltaba amor en la vida.<\/p>\r\n

I would buy into that crap and I would justify his lousy behavior. I would forgive him before he even had the chance to say \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

Me entregu\u00e9 en cuerpo y alma a la relaci\u00f3n y no recib\u00ed nada a cambio. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

I didn\u2019t mind making more effort than he did. I did it without even thinking about it. But the more I gave, the emptier I felt because I didn\u2019t get anything in return.<\/p>\r\n

Soon, I started to feel like he didn\u2019t care for me at all. I missed a listening ear and tight hugs on gloomy days. I missed someone with whom I could share my happiness, instead of being jealous of it.<\/p>\r\n

Echaba de menos la armon\u00eda, la paz y una sonrisa sincera en la cara. Lo echaba todo de menos y aun as\u00ed me qued\u00e9.<\/p>\r\n

I don\u2019t know why, though.<\/p>\r\n

It\u2019s easier to rationalize now that I am far away from him and the whole situation. But when I was there, I couldn\u2019t help but feel all the emotions so intensely and I couldn\u2019t pull myself together. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

Tuve momentos de claridad. Me encontraba en situaciones en las que sab\u00eda que marcharme era lo mejor. Cuando lloraba d\u00eda y noche por algo que \u00e9l hac\u00eda o dejaba de hacer.<\/p>\r\n

I should\u2019ve walked away then, in one of those moments where I was angry, hurt, and saw him for who he really was. I shouldn\u2019t have stayed; I was only giving him another chance to hurt me.<\/p>\r\n

Me qued\u00e9 m\u00e1s tiempo del que deb\u00eda porque cre\u00eda que las cosas se pod\u00edan arreglar. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

I was so incredibly wrong. You can\u2019t fix what\u2019s already broken. You can\u2019t change a man who doesn\u2019t feel the need to change himself.<\/p>\r\n

Ahora lo s\u00e9. Conozco todos mis errores a trav\u00e9s de todas mis relaciones y no voy a repetirlos.<\/p>\r\n

Ya no soy un im\u00e1n para los hombres t\u00f3xicos. Soy todo lo contrario. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

Aprend\u00ed a reconocer las banderas rojas y a evitar a los hombres t\u00f3xicos. Aprend\u00ed que tengo que respetarme y amarme a m\u00ed misma para que los dem\u00e1s hagan lo mismo.<\/p>\r\n

I\u2019ve established boundaries I\u2019m no longer crossing. I\u2019ve become a woman<\/a> que crece en confianza cada d\u00eda que pasa.<\/p>\r\n

The one who speaks up when she is not treated right. The one who forgives but doesn\u2019t forget. I\u2019ve become a woman who will never tolerate anybody\u2019s toxicity again.<\/p>\r\n

\"Por<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":39101,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/shutterstock_1339397624-14.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}