A la madre que no me quer\u00eda<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\nWe have had some great times, haven’t we? Laughed until we cried\u2026 Been there for each other through some pretty rough and trying times\u2026<\/p>\n
Held each other through the heartaches and tears\u2026 experienced love, hate, life, and death. God knows we’ve had some knock-down drag-out fights, and said things we didn’t necessarily mean.<\/p>\n
Our relationship has been one hell of a roller coaster, to say the least. Looking back, I never could understand why, when I needed it the most, though, you failed to protect me\u2026<\/p>\n
\u00bfPor qu\u00e9, a los 7 a\u00f1os, se me llam\u00f3 mentirosa y se me despreci\u00f3 como a una ni\u00f1a que s\u00f3lo buscaba atenci\u00f3n, cuando mi hermana mayor te advirti\u00f3 de lo que tu entonces novio hab\u00eda intentado infructuosamente hacerle a ella, pero que a m\u00ed me hizo con \u00e9xito?<\/p>\n
\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 nunca me dijeron que lo que me estaba haciendo era enfermizo, demente e incorrecto?<\/p>\n
Truth is, at that age I had no idea that what he was doing wasn’t supposed to feel good, or that it would leave a lasting impression on not only the way I viewed men, love, and sex, but also the way I viewed safety, security, and \u2013 most importantly \u2013 the way I viewed myself for a good majority of my life.<\/p>\n
And why, why, why wasn’t he the only one who ever had the chance to do something so horrible like that to me?<\/p>\n
![\"un](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/a-man-abuses-a-girl.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 hab\u00eda otros que ten\u00edan la oportunidad de mirarme fijamente con pensamientos e intenciones tortuosos, y luego, en un momento u otro, llevar a cabo esos mismos pensamientos y acciones, sin consecuencias?<\/p>\n
Why didn’t you protect the daughter you swore to love with all your heart? Was it me? Was it something I said? Something I did? Something I didn’t do?<\/p>\n
Ten\u00eda casi 13 a\u00f1os cuando tu entonces tercer marido me toc\u00f3 el culo con sus manos, con la sonrisa m\u00e1s fea de su cara.<\/p>\n
I can’t remember if that was before or after I found the underage pornography of young girls who resembled me on our home computer that we all used.<\/p>\n
And all the while, not only was your husband interested in your 13-year-old daughter, but so was the 18-year-old youth group leader of our church, who your husband adored, and who you swore was “the nicest and most responsible young man you’d met in far too long.”<\/p>\n
Every time he’d pick me up for youth group or other church outings and activities, he’d be sure to make some random stop, in some random hidden away place, to get a piece of your young daughter’s innocence and free spirit.<\/p>\n
During this time, I fell sick with an eating disorder, allowed my 4.0 GPA in school to fall significantly to a ridiculous 1.5 GPA, stopped involving myself in my extra-curricular interests\u2026<\/p>\n
![\"una](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/a-sad-little-girl-sits-under-a-tree-in-the-woods.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
For God’s sake, I cut my hair into “dyke-spikes,” wore all-black clothing, piled on the dark makeup \u2013 hoping and praying that I would be too ugly to mess with any longer \u2013 that I would no longer be the object of their disgusting games. I guess they never got the memo, because it continued.<\/p>\n
How many times was all of this brought to your attention? How many times did I beg you to let me stay home? How many times did you ground me because I “acted out”?<\/p>\n
How often did you back-hand me and make my ears ring because I cried and yelled and threw fits about you staying with your husband? Why didn’t you protect your daughter?<\/p>\n
Me faltaban un par de semanas para celebrar mi decimoquinto cumplea\u00f1os cuando volv\u00ed a tu casa tras una breve estancia en un centro de acogida. Por aquel entonces, cre\u00eda que no ten\u00edas ning\u00fan derecho a intentar decirme qu\u00e9 hacer o c\u00f3mo vivir mi vida.<\/p>\n
And you didn’t put up much of a fight with my rebellious “you can’t tell me shit” attitude, so I rolled with it, and took it to a whole new extreme.<\/p>\n
Stayed out as late as I wanted, with whoever was the “flavor of the week” or the most wild and crazy, cussed like a sailor, drank as much alcohol as I could get my hands on, tried marijuana, and even dabbled in opioids for the first time.<\/p>\n
Whenever you’d protest, I’d storm out of the house with my middle finger in the air and a big “FUCK YOU!!” screamed as loud as I could.<\/p>\n
![\"la](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/the-girl-points-her-middle-finger-at-someone.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
I even met my boy\u2019s dad around that same time, and almost immediately moved him in, even though he was a 22-year-old alcoholic, with an on-again-off-again job and no ambition or desire to do anything more than spend every waking hour tangled up in the sheets with your 15-year-old.<\/p>\n
Estabas ocupado con tu perfil de citas online, contando a todos los pervertidos lo guapa, lista y talentosa que era tu hija peque\u00f1a.<\/p>\n
Was that the reason you got so many responses? Why couldn’t you protect your daughter from the ill intentions of your suitors?<\/p>\n
I sat in the bathroom of our “home” 4 months after the most outrageously partied out sweet 16, with not just one, but 6 POSITIVE pregnancy tests sprawled out on the countertop.<\/p>\n
I came down the stairs, tears streaming down my cheeks, and before I could get one word out, you said, “You’re knocked up, aren’t you?” not once even looking at me or changing your expression. Within the week, I was out of your house and becoming an adult quickly.<\/p>\n
Pasaron casi cuatro a\u00f1os, t\u00fa te hab\u00edas vuelto a casar, yo era madre de un ni\u00f1o guap\u00edsimo, pero tuve que volver a casa porque el padre del beb\u00e9 hab\u00eda sido condenado a una pena de prisi\u00f3n imprevista.<\/p>\n
Volvimos a caer en una rutina un tanto materno-filial, no muy distinta de mi rocambolesca infancia.<\/p>\n
![\"una](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/a-sad-girl-with-glasses-is-sitting-outside-on-the-stairs.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
De hecho, tu nuevo marido incluso encaj\u00f3 en el mismo papel de viejo asqueroso, emborrach\u00e1ndome tanto que vomitaba en la papelera de mi cama mientras \u00e9l me met\u00eda las manos en los calzoncillos. \u00a1\u00a1UUUGGGGHHH!!<\/p>\n
Pasaron otros 3 a\u00f1os y yo estaba de nuevo en casa viviendo con mam\u00e1 querida, y t\u00fa segu\u00edas con el mismo perdedor.<\/p>\n
\u00bfRecuerdas cuando me llam\u00f3 y me dijo todas esas cosas desagradables y horribles sobre lo gorda y asquerosa que eras, y que la \u00fanica raz\u00f3n por la que trataba contigo era porque quer\u00eda acercarse a m\u00ed?<\/p>\n
Si no recuerdo mal, se desmay\u00f3 por m\u00ed y me dijo lo guapa que era y lo enamorado que estaba de m\u00ed, todo ello por el altavoz del tel\u00e9fono para que pudieras o\u00edr cada miserable palabra que sal\u00eda de su boca.<\/p>\n
Menos de una semana despu\u00e9s, estaba en la c\u00e1rcel, enfrent\u00e1ndome a 3 delitos graves, que no s\u00f3lo fueron presionados por usted, sino que eran mentiras completas. Protecci\u00f3n contra m\u00ed mismo, hab\u00edas dicho. \u00bfQu\u00e9?<\/p>\n
The next 8 years are foggy and clouded, mostly because I was too high to pay attention or care. In the midst of it all, I lost myself \u2013 totally and completely.<\/p>\n
I would stand in front of the mirror and be so mortified at the person staring back at me, I’d cry and scream at the damn thing.<\/p>\n
![\"el](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/a-reflection-of-a-sad-girl-on-a-broken-mirror.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
I spiraled out of control, almost died a time or two, and could’ve cared less. I lost everything I owned more than once, lost the only two things that meant anything to me in this world, and lost myself more and more every day.<\/p>\n
Pas\u00e9 meses en la c\u00e1rcel, s\u00f3lo para salir y volver a donde estaba antes, a pesar de mis mejores esfuerzos.<\/p>\n
Un d\u00eda me despert\u00e9 y me di cuenta de que, si quer\u00eda seguir adelante, ten\u00eda que dejar de vivir en mi atormentado pasado.<\/p>\n
As\u00ed que me sent\u00e9 y finalmente escrib\u00ed esta carta, que quiz\u00e1s nunca leas. Porque tengo que perdonarte y dejar atr\u00e1s el dolor y la rabia.<\/p>\n
After all, you have continued to live your life, happily as far as I know, and now it’s my turn.<\/p>\n
I love you Mom, but I will now love you from a distance that will protect and heal us both. I will always be my mother’s daughter, but I will no longer allow the ghosts of my past dictate how I live my present and future.<\/p>\n
Siempre y para siempre,
\nLa hija que se protege<\/p>\n
por Candace Barish<\/b><\/p>\n
![\"Carta](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/An-Open-Letter-To-My-Mom-Who-Never-Protected-Me-Pinterest.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Mom, As I sit here writing, I am reminded of how long I have harbored all of the thoughts, feelings, and secrets I am about to reveal in this letter. I can feel the weight of the load I’ve been carrying begin to lighten with every word I type. For the past 20 years,…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":117473,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/An-Open-Letter-To-My-Mom-Who-Never-Protected-Me-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":317,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":317,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44868"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44868\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/117473"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"retrato](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/a-portrait-of-a-young-drug-addict.jpg\")
<\/p>\n