{"id":48589,"date":"2019-11-26T18:12:32","date_gmt":"2019-11-26T18:12:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=48589"},"modified":"2021-08-12T13:30:06","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T13:30:06","slug":"7-razones-por-las-que-segui-en-una-relacion-abusiva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/7-razones-por-las-que-segui-en-una-relacion-abusiva\/","title":{"rendered":"7 razones por las que me qued\u00e9 en una relaci\u00f3n abusiva"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cinco a\u00f1os, doscientos cincuenta y dos d\u00edas. <\/b><\/p>\n

That\u2019s how long my battle lasted. And I\u2019m not counting the time when we had a good run. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not taking into consideration when we met and fell in love. That is not fair because I really enjoyed spending time with him at the beginning. <\/span><\/p>\n

Even after everything bad that\u2019s happened, those memories are somehow always going to belong in the happy pile in my brain. <\/span><\/p>\n

The story begins like any other you\u2019ve heard so far. And yes… if you\u2019re wondering… it always starts the same. There are really no exceptions. <\/b><\/p>\n

A handsome, charming man grabs your attention within seconds. At that particular moment, you just know he\u2019s aiming his Cupid\u2019s arrow right at you.<\/span><\/p>\n

At that moment, you can just feel you\u2019re the center of his attention. And let\u2019s face it, you like it.  <\/span><\/p>\n

That is a feeling which takes you by surprise. You can\u2019t wake up from that beautiful dream, no way. <\/span><\/p>\n

At that moment, you\u2019re imagining the two of you together with a family, living a fairy tale life, and everything is so perfect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Se asegura de que sigas crey\u00e9ndolo. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Triste<\/p>\n

If it\u2019s necessary, he\u2019ll turn into someone else completely just to keep up his charade. <\/span><\/p>\n

He is playing the character of a sweet and caring man for one reason only\u2014to lure you even deeper into his trap. <\/span><\/p>\n

He will be the kindest man you\u2019ll ever meet. He\u2019ll be too perfect to be real, and yet, he is standing in front of you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Poco a poco las cosas empiezan a cambiar. <\/b><\/p>\n

The \u2018forever perfect man\u2019 will start slipping every now and then. <\/span><\/p>\n

Naturally, you won\u2019t give much importance to these occasional changes in behavior. You\u2019ll find excuses every time, and somehow it won\u2019t be his fault. <\/span><\/p>\n

The point is, you\u2019d rather blame yourself for \u2018unconsciously\u2019 provoking him to behave inappropriately than accepting that maybe he\u2019s not that good of a man.<\/span><\/p>\n

When this realization hits you…it\u2019s too late to leave. <\/b><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll already be in his web, under his complete control. <\/span><\/p>\n

He knows how you breathe, what you\u2019re going to say next, and how you\u2019re going to react. That\u2019s how <\/span>juega contigo<\/span><\/a> sin que te des cuenta.  <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not making things up. I\u2019m writing from experience, from the horror I lived in for 5 long years. You cannot make this shit up! It\u2019s impossible. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why I stayed in an abusive relationship for so long: <\/span><\/p>\n

1. Mis pensamientos fueron manipulados<\/h2>\n

\"Mujer<\/p>\n

Al cabo de un tiempo, empez\u00f3 a acosarme tanto que no ten\u00eda ni idea de lo que estaba pasando. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was definitely brainwashed and scared…so scared of his reactions and his behavior. Lies seemed such a better option than telling the truth. <\/span><\/p>\n

El caso es que las mentiras siempre sal\u00edan a la luz tarde o temprano, lo que creaba una situaci\u00f3n a\u00fan peor.<\/span><\/p>\n

Todas las v\u00edctimas de <\/span>abuso emocional<\/span><\/a> go through the stage of feeling guilt and despair. That is the consequence of the partner\u2019s poor treatment. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tras los continuos malos tratos, empec\u00e9 a creer que me lo ten\u00eda merecido. Realmente cre\u00eda que yo ten\u00eda la culpa de su comportamiento.<\/span><\/p>\n

When your thoughts are tampered with and when you actually start believing that you\u2019re worth nothing, the rest is easy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone knows that words don\u2019t leave bruises, and no one can see the psychological damage someone has caused you.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Sent\u00ed verg\u00fcenza<\/h2>\n

\"ataques<\/p>\n

Hubo destellos de realidad que pasaron ante mis ojos en ese momento. Hubo momentos en los que supe lo que estaba pasando. <\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s a part of denial, maybe it\u2019s the hope that it will soon be gone, but accepting the truth was the last thing on my mind. <\/span><\/p>\n

At those moments when I knew I was abused, I felt terribly ashamed. My mind was bothered by the fact: \u201cHow did I let this happen?\u201d I was scared that people who love me won\u2019t accept me back. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me preocupaba que me juzgaran por elegirle y no darme cuenta de que no es m\u00e1s que un hombre d\u00e9bil y manipulador. <\/span><\/p>\n

3. Ten\u00eda mucho miedo<\/h2>\n

\"Mujer<\/p>\n

It can\u2019t get any simpler than it was\u2014I was afraid of him. I was scared of his actions, of his reactions and his behavior. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was afraid he would physically hurt me. To be honest, it wouldn\u2019t have been the first time he tried to assault me…or succeeded. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ocult\u00e9 muy bien los moratones del cuello y la espalda. Nadie ten\u00eda ni idea de lo que ocurr\u00eda tras nuestra puerta cerrada. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nadie excepto yo sabe toda la verdad hasta el d\u00eda de hoy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mi vida se proyectaba en mis sue\u00f1os. Ten\u00eda pesadillas horribles. So\u00f1aba que me persegu\u00eda como una bestia. En mis sue\u00f1os, \u00e9l era despiadado e imparable. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me persegu\u00eda por todo el bosque durante d\u00edas. En mis pesadillas, parec\u00eda que nunca se cansaba, y la agon\u00eda duraba d\u00edas. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Bueno, eso es s\u00f3lo una met\u00e1fora de lo que ocurr\u00eda en la vida real.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Mi autoestima era casi nula<\/h2>\n

\"Lonely<\/p>\n

Tal vez incluso bajo cero. D\u00e9jame decirte lo que pas\u00f3. <\/span><\/p>\n

Every person has insecurities\u2014even that girl you\u2019ve been watching every day looking confident as hell\u2014yes, even she has insecurities. The thing is, she handles them better than you. <\/span><\/p>\n

What I\u2019m actually saying is that you can\u2019t run away from your insecurities, but you can accept them. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can embrace your flaws because they are what make you unique. I didn\u2019t know that back then, and I let him take advantage of my weaknesses against me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me menospreciaba de todas las formas posibles. Se burlaba de mi aspecto, de mi capacidad, de mi intelecto. <\/span><\/p>\n

He did everything possible to crush me like a bug\u2014both physically and emotionally. Sadly, he did it. <\/span><\/p>\n

5. No ten\u00eda otra opci\u00f3n financiera<\/h2>\n

\"Ella<\/p>\n

Cuando empezamos nuestra relaci\u00f3n, el dinero no ten\u00eda nada que ver con los problemas que iban apareciendo poco a poco. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sinceramente, no ten\u00eda ni idea de c\u00f3mo hab\u00eda acabado arruinado y sin ninguna idea de mis propias cuentas. Sucedi\u00f3 tan r\u00e1pido. Sucedi\u00f3 porque confi\u00e9 ciegamente en \u00e9l. <\/span><\/p>\n

The point is when I started to sober up, when I actually recognized the abuse I was going through, I couldn\u2019t escape. <\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have the means to escape. I was broke and alone. Moreover, he realized I was starting to slip from his grip, so he used even more manipulation to hold me by his side. <\/span><\/p>\n

6. Viv\u00eda en una prisi\u00f3n invisible<\/h2>\n

\"Mujer<\/p>\n

Nadie sab\u00eda que estaba aislada. Mis amigos y mi familia ten\u00edan la impresi\u00f3n de que los hab\u00eda echado de mi vida. <\/span><\/p>\n

He fed them with lies; he fed me with lies. He was so good, a real puppet master, and he controlled the whole show we were a part of called \u2018life\u2019. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nunca estuve f\u00edsicamente atrapada, aunque eso tambi\u00e9n es una opci\u00f3n con estos enfermos. Mi prisi\u00f3n era emocional. <\/span><\/p>\n

Era libre de ir adonde quisiera, pero en realidad me controlaban a cada paso. Un paso en falso y hab\u00eda que pagar el precio. <\/span><\/p>\n

I paid for every single one of my \u2018mistakes.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

7. Fui condenado por amor<\/h2>\n

\"La<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s face it. If it wasn\u2019t for love, none of this would have happened. I have to say that now when I\u2019m no longer ashamed or embarrassed, I was in love with him. <\/span><\/p>\n

I am truly a person who fell in love with an abuser. And you know what? I\u2019m not sorry, and I know it was not my fault. <\/span><\/p>\n

People can\u2019t choose who they fall in love with. My heart chose an evil man, but my heart escaped from his grip in the end.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"7<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Five years, two hundred and fifty-two days.  That\u2019s how long my battle lasted. And I\u2019m not counting the time when we had a good run. I\u2019m not taking into consideration when we met and fell in love. That is not fair because I really enjoyed spending time with him at the beginning.  Even after everything…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":48687,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29625],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationship"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29625,"label":"toxic relationship"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/shutterstock_310310333.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29625,"name":"toxic relationship","slug":"toxic-relationship","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29625,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","parent":29620,"count":228,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29625,"category_count":228,"category_description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","cat_name":"toxic relationship","category_nicename":"toxic-relationship","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48589","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48589"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48589\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48589"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48589"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48589"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}