{"id":50850,"date":"2020-01-08T18:55:14","date_gmt":"2020-01-08T18:55:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=50850"},"modified":"2022-03-22T01:58:54","modified_gmt":"2022-03-22T01:58:54","slug":"abusaron-de-mi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/abusaron-de-mi\/","title":{"rendered":"No fue culpa m\u00eda que abusaran de m\u00ed"},"content":{"rendered":"

Durante mucho tiempo estuve convencida de que yo era la culpable de todo lo malo que me ocurr\u00eda. <\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t sure how and why, but I knew that I was responsible for the evil that had hit me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pensaba que de alguna manera me merec\u00eda todos los insultos que recib\u00eda, todas las humillaciones por las que pasaba y todos los golpes emocionales y f\u00edsicos que recib\u00eda. <\/b><\/p>\n

Al menos, eso era de lo que mi maltratador se esforzaba por convencerme. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Silueta<\/p>\n

Al fin y al cabo, todo nuestro mundo se basa en la justicia, \u00bfno? Ten\u00eda que haber alg\u00fan karma, y obviamente yo estaba pagando por los pecados que hab\u00eda cometido. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tal vez fue algo que hice en mi vida anterior, tal vez her\u00ed a alguien involuntariamente o simplemente fui culpable por elegir mal y no saber hacerlo mejor. <\/span><\/p>\n

Quiz\u00e1 era demasiado sensible, demasiado emocional, demasiado d\u00e9bil o demasiado vulnerable. <\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe I was exaggerating. Maybe my partner wasn\u2019t that bad compared to others\u2014who knows what is happening in other people\u2019s relationships\u2014they just don\u2019t talk about it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tal vez todo esto era en realidad normal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Suena a tonter\u00eda, lo s\u00e9. Desde este punto de vista, yo mismo me escandalizo de los pensamientos que pasaban por mi mente.<\/b><\/p>\n

Sin embargo, pasara lo que pasara, acababa encontrando excusas para todo lo que mi ex me hac\u00eda.<\/span><\/p>\n

Durante a\u00f1os, siempre encontraba la manera de justificar su violencia intentando echarme toda la culpa a m\u00ed. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Mujer<\/p>\n

I had obviously provoked him, and I definitely shouldn\u2019t have said that. <\/span><\/p>\n

If I had just listened to what he was telling me, he wouldn\u2019t have raised his hand to me. <\/span><\/p>\n

I thought things like: \u201cHe isn\u2019t not that bad\u2014he just has a short temper. <\/span><\/p>\n

He has an anger management problem and I should be there to help him fight it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Despu\u00e9s de todo, \u00e9l s\u00f3lo quer\u00eda lo mejor para m\u00ed, \u00bfno? <\/span>Incluso cuando me maltrataba, no era m\u00e1s que una reacci\u00f3n a mi mal comportamiento. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Instant\u00e1nea<\/p>\n

Incluso cuando intentaba <\/span>controlarme<\/span><\/a>, he was doing it because he was so afraid that he\u2019d lose me. <\/span><\/p>\n

He loved me so much that he couldn\u2019t stand the mere thought of living without me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Adem\u00e1s, cada vez que me pegaba, se sent\u00eda muy mal despu\u00e9s. <\/span><\/p>\n

Se pasaba horas y d\u00edas disculp\u00e1ndose y prometi\u00e9ndome que nunca volver\u00eda a hacer algo as\u00ed. <\/span><\/p>\n

Y yo, tonta de m\u00ed, le cre\u00ed. Me estaba creyendo todas sus patra\u00f1as, convencida de que lo hac\u00eda todo por el enorme amor que sent\u00eda por m\u00ed. <\/b><\/p>\n

Sin embargo, ahora, <\/span>Despu\u00e9s de todo este tiempo, s\u00e9 la verdad: yo fui la v\u00edctima aqu\u00ed. Y la v\u00edctima nunca tiene la culpa. <\/b><\/p>\n

Despu\u00e9s de todos estos a\u00f1os de terapia y autointrospecci\u00f3n, ya no me averg\u00fcenza admitirlo ni decirlo en voz alta. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now I know that I\u2019m not the one who should be embarrassed for being abused.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Foto<\/p>\n

Porque nada de esto fue nunca culpa m\u00eda. Mi ex es un maltratador, y es \u00e9l quien debe asumir toda la responsabilidad de sus actos. <\/b><\/p>\n

No, <\/span>I couldn\u2019t have known better because I was brainwashed into thinking that he was the best man I could ever have<\/b>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Puso mucho empe\u00f1o en convencerme de que sus formas distorsionadas de demostrar amor eran las aut\u00e9nticas, que nadie se preocupar\u00eda nunca por m\u00ed como \u00e9l lo hac\u00eda y que nunca encontrar\u00eda la felicidad al lado de otra persona.  <\/span><\/p>\n

No, <\/span>I couldn\u2019t have abandoned him because he made sure I was financially and <\/b>emocionalmente dependiente<\/b><\/a> sobre \u00e9l<\/b>. <\/span><\/p>\n

No ten\u00eda a nadie a quien recurrir porque \u00e9l ahuyent\u00f3 a todos mis amigos y familiares a tiempo, s\u00f3lo para que yo acabara sin nadie m\u00e1s que \u00e9l a mi lado. <\/span><\/p>\n

No, <\/span>I couldn\u2019t have left him sooner because he emotionally blackmailed me and manipulated me into taking him back after every violent episode<\/b>\u2014because I spent years, hoping for that perfect guy from the beginning of our relationship to come back and for that caring and loving guy he was in between the abuse to reappear. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"Mujer<\/p>\n

No, I shouldn\u2019t have changed my ways because if he loved me, he would have accepted me just the way I was. <\/span><\/p>\n

On the other hand, if he saw that I wasn\u2019t cut out for him, he had the choice of walking away at any moment. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sin embargo, opt\u00f3 por quedarse. <\/span><\/p>\n

Eligi\u00f3 conscientemente hacer de mi vida un infierno, matarme espiritualmente y seguir abusando de m\u00ed mental, emocional, verbal y f\u00edsicamente. <\/b><\/p>\n

\u00bfPor qu\u00e9? Porque era y probablemente sigue siendo un soci\u00f3pata t\u00f3xico que disfruta torturando a los dem\u00e1s. <\/b><\/p>\n

Porque me vio como una v\u00edctima adecuada<\/b>\u2014<\/span>y simplemente porque pod\u00eda. <\/b><\/p>\n

S\u00ed, fui yo quien dej\u00f3 que me tratara como lo hizo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yo era la que le daba luz verde para continuar con sus abusos cada vez que le daba otra oportunidad. <\/span><\/p>\n

However, it wasn\u2019t my fault I was abused. I\u2019m not stupid, <\/b>unlovable<\/b><\/a> ni merec\u00eda pasar por algo as\u00ed. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Retrato<\/p>\n

Y t\u00fa tampoco.<\/b> Therefore, if you\u2019re experiencing something similar to what I\u2019ve been thro<\/span>ugh, por favor, abre los ojos. <\/span><\/p>\n

S<\/span>superior escuchando a este narcisista manipulador que no para de decirte<\/a> that you provoked him to tell you all those awful things, that he wouldn\u2019t have yelled at you if your skirt wasn\u2019t that short or that he wouldn\u2019t have hit you if you just had the patience to stay quiet when he insulted you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Puede que ahora no lo veas, pero cr\u00e9eme: tienes lo que hace falta para dejar su lamentable culo. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re not alone, and there is always someone around you who would gladly give you a hand and help you get out of this nightmare. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nevertheless, you\u2019re the one who has to make that decision, the same way I did.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Retrato<\/p>\n

You\u2019re the one who has to set yourself free from this never-ending circle and finally see this man for who he really is\u2014an abuser who never loved you and will never change his ways. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cr\u00e9eme cuando te digo que lo lograr\u00e1s sin \u00e9l. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not going to lie: you won\u2019t recover overnight, and your past <\/span>traumas<\/span><\/a> probablemente te perseguir\u00e1 durante mucho tiempo, pero al final del d\u00eda, ser\u00e1s mejor. <\/span><\/p>\n

Learn from my mistakes and from my example and don\u2019t let your agony go on any longer.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"No<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For a long time, I was convinced that I was guilty for everything bad that was happening to me. I wasn\u2019t sure how and why, but I knew that I was responsible for the evil that had hit me.  I thought that somehow I deserved all the insults I received, all the humiliation I went…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":50858,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-50850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/shutterstock_792923497.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50850"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50850\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}