Cre\u00eda de todo coraz\u00f3n que nunca decidir\u00eda enga\u00f1ar a alguien que me ha entregado desinteresadamente su coraz\u00f3n para que lo cuide. <\/p>\n
![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/couple-in-love-sitting-on-bed-at-home.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Lo he dicho muchas veces:<\/p>\n
I would rather be miserable and alone for the rest of my life than cheat on someone because I’m either with that person or I’m not. <\/em><\/p>\n If I\u2019m not happy, I\u2019ll break up with them, move forward, and do whatever I want, but I won’t cheat as long as I’m in a relaci\u00f3n seria<\/a> con mi pareja, que conf\u00eda en m\u00ed.<\/em><\/p>\n I guess the first time I said it, I wasn’t even aware of the real difficulty of that statement and the fact that it is easier said than done.<\/p>\n But, “lucky me,” now I can tell with certainty that sometimes the words that come out of our mouths simply cannot be trusted.<\/p>\n Enga\u00f1\u00e9 a mi novio a pesar de que toda mi vida estuve en contra del enga\u00f1o y a favor de vivir seg\u00fan principios de confianza y compromiso.<\/p>\n But, life is unpredictable and the truth is that both men and women cheat and, in most cases, it’s not because they wanted to, but because something broke in them and they couldn’t find a way to deal with it.<\/p>\n Porque faltaba algo, as\u00ed que acabaron en un laberinto de infidelidad.<\/p>\n V\u00e9ase tambi\u00e9n: C\u00f3mo perdonarse por enga\u00f1ar y no contarlo: 20 maneras<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n To help you understand my cheating experience in full, I’ll first give you an insight into my past relationship.<\/p>\n My boyfriend and I had been together for a year or so and from the day we met, everything was just perfect (until it wasn’t).<\/p>\n He was really caring, he\u2019d always go out of his way to make me feel special (both through text messages and in real life) and we had this qu\u00edmica incre\u00edble<\/a> como adolescentes de instituto.<\/p>\n Era realmente un gran tipo.<\/p>\n We\u2019d finish each other’s sentences, laugh about stupid things, and just enjoy life as every other couple at the beginning of a relationship.<\/p>\n Cada segundo que pasaba con \u00e9l era m\u00e1gico y ni siquiera me imaginaba enga\u00f1\u00e1ndole, y mucho menos pensaba en hacerlo de verdad.<\/p>\n Until one day \u2013 or better said, until something happened, but I couldn’t really understand what was truly going on. I noticed that he suddenly changed.<\/p>\n He was no longer the same person I’d fallen in love with because he no longer cared about making an effort to keep things interesting, about affection and other romantic things related to a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n Los mensajes de texto se hicieron menos frecuentes o inexistentes y, a medida que pasaba el tiempo, surgieron literalmente de la nada montones de otros problemas en la relaci\u00f3n, y yo no ten\u00eda ni idea de qu\u00e9 hacer al respecto.<\/p>\n Mi autoestima estaba muy baja, me sent\u00eda miserable y s\u00f3lo pod\u00eda pensar en eso: \u00bfQu\u00e9 debo hacer con mi relaci\u00f3n?<\/strong><\/p>\n I tried to talk to my partner to understand what was going on, but every time I did, he\u2019d just pretend that everything was okay and that I was overreacting.<\/p>\n Supongo que se volvi\u00f3 demasiado casual en nuestra relaci\u00f3n y perdi\u00f3 el sentido de perseguir y valorar lo que ten\u00edamos. Segu\u00eda sintiendo algo por \u00e9l, pero al mismo tiempo maldec\u00eda el d\u00eda en que lo conoc\u00ed y tambi\u00e9n esperaba que tal vez algo cambiara.<\/p>\n I wasn’t ready to romper ya<\/a>, but I also wasn’t happy in the relationship.<\/p>\n As\u00ed que decid\u00ed fingir que estaba viva y era feliz sin vivir ni ser feliz de verdad.<\/p>\n Hasta que le conoc\u00ed.<\/strong><\/p>\n Mi antiguo colega me present\u00f3 a su amigo una noche que salimos a tomar algo y congeniamos al instante.<\/p>\n Compart\u00edamos la misma perspectiva de las cosas, era tan caballeroso y atento, y en sus ojos brillaba una pasi\u00f3n que poco a poco iba encendiendo mi cuerpo y mi mente.<\/p>\n Aunque fue muy dif\u00edcil resistir la tentaci\u00f3n, esa noche no pas\u00f3 nada, pero seguimos vi\u00e9ndonos.<\/p>\n Cada vez que est\u00e1bamos juntos, me sent\u00eda m\u00e1s y m\u00e1s comprendida, cuidada y simplemente viva de nuevo.<\/p>\n And at the same time, I was convincing myself that we were just friends and nothing more, and all this would stop soon because I couldn\u2019t let myself lose control and do something stupid.<\/p>\n Y entonces lo hice.<\/strong> Me invit\u00f3 a su casa, prepar\u00f3 una comida deliciosa, me trat\u00f3 como a una reina y me sedujo como a una jefa.<\/p>\n Mis intentos de resistirme fueron en vano, as\u00ed que me rend\u00ed y dej\u00e9 que la ardiente pasi\u00f3n me guiara.<\/p>\n Y al d\u00eda siguiente, cuando me di cuenta de lo que acababa de pasar, de que hab\u00eda enga\u00f1ado a mi novio, mi mundo se derrumb\u00f3.<\/p>\n Me sent\u00eda el mayor cobarde del mundo porque era demasiado d\u00e9bil para seguir adelante con mi relaci\u00f3n actual, a pesar de ser evidentemente infeliz.<\/p>\n Las \u00fanicas emociones que sent\u00eda eran confusi\u00f3n y odio hacia m\u00ed misma, hacia mi relaci\u00f3n t\u00f3xica y hacia el amor en general.<\/p>\n And in case you’re wondering whether I repeated my sinful act again: Nope, I didn’t. It was a one-off thing.<\/p>\n There wasn’t a second time or any time after that. The cheating act in itself was not that painful, but coping with it afterward is what breaks you.<\/p>\n So, here are some things that I’ve learned from my cheating experience.<\/p>\n I bet the first thought of every cheater out there is: How do I delete this and how do I get rid of this feeling of guilt and betrayal? (Or, at least, that’s how I felt.)<\/p>\n So, is it possible to simply delete your cheating moment from your history and continue living your life as if nothing happened? No, it’s not.<\/p>\n Even if the act of cheating wasn\u2019t done to purposefully hurt someone, even if you weren’t aware of what you were doing and where things were heading, you still did it.<\/p>\n It’s done. It’s real. And every single action in our life has a reaction, aka consequence.<\/p>\n Aunque decidas destruir todas las pruebas, borrar su n\u00famero, aplicar alguna magia vud\u00fa que resetear\u00e1 tu conciencia (como en la pel\u00edcula Eterno resplandor de una mente sin recuerdos<\/em>), you still won’t be able to forget about it because you will still have the act of cheating stored in your memory.<\/p>\n Now, you have all the right in the world to act as if nothing happened and wait for the moment of obliviousness to kick in, but speaking from my personal experience, I think that’s mission impossible.<\/p>\n De hecho, cuanto m\u00e1s intentemos suprimir algo y luchar contra ello, m\u00e1s se defender\u00e1 para aparecer en la superficie.<\/p>\n Our subconsciousness is a really powerful thing and we simply cannot trick our brain to believe something that’s not true.<\/p>\n And sometimes that’s a good thing because it just shows you that you’re only human after all.<\/p>\n Te ense\u00f1a a afrontar las consecuencias de tus actos.<\/p>\n If you’re not a serial cheater, the chances of your partner learning about your infidelity are really low.<\/p>\n I cheated once and didn’t get caught, and for a moment I thought that this is actually a good thing because maybe, somehow magically, I could just forget about it and continue being in a relationship as if nothing happened.<\/p>\n Pero, el sentimiento de culpa y confusi\u00f3n era realmente fuerte dentro de m\u00ed.<\/p>\n As\u00ed que me encontr\u00e9 disculp\u00e1ndome con mi pareja por las cosas m\u00e1s triviales por las que antes nunca me disculpar\u00eda.<\/p>\n Tambi\u00e9n empec\u00e9 a acusarle constantemente de cosas aleatorias que hac\u00eda, independientemente de la situaci\u00f3n y de si realmente eran dignas de menci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n And then I realized that this wasn’t me but my guilty conscience.<\/p>\n La culpa que llevaba dentro me obligaba a disculparme por cosas triviales porque, al hacerlo, estaba disculp\u00e1ndome inconscientemente por mi infidelidad sin ni siquiera ser consciente de ello.<\/p>\n Locking eyes with your partner also feels really weird because every time you look them in the eye, you feel as if your soul starts to cry, as if you’ve done something so terribly wrong that killed your partner and the relationship you’re still in (even if your relationship died a long time ago).<\/p>\n And you can’t help but constantly analyze everything that happened in the hope that you’ll find a reason to justify your shameful act.<\/p>\n And while you’re constantly lost in your thoughts, you risk your partner noticing it and demanding to know what the hell is going on.<\/p>\n As\u00ed que tienes dos opciones:<\/strong><\/p>\n Continue pretending as if nothing happened \u2013 that you’re PMSing or having other female difficulties \u2013 or tell them what happened and hope for the best (if you still care about your partner and fixing your broken relationship).<\/p>\n Pero ten en cuenta que, aunque te sinceres, los problemas de confianza persistir\u00e1n durante mucho tiempo en una relaci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n V\u00e9ase tambi\u00e9n: 6 comportamientos en las relaciones m\u00e1s perjudiciales que el enga\u00f1o<\/a><\/p>\n Mucha gente piensa que el enga\u00f1o simplemente ocurre y que la persona que enga\u00f1a lo hizo a prop\u00f3sito para herir a su pareja o satisfacer sus deseos ego\u00edstas.<\/p>\n Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t people like this, but in the majority of cases (and in my case), cheating is an act of trying to fill the void caused by being in an unhappy relationship.<\/p>\n And by saying this, I’m not trying to justify my or any other cheater’s behavior.<\/p>\n I’m just trying to point out that the roots of cheating are much deeper than we think.<\/p>\n There’s a reason why you cheated on your partner and that reason is buried deep down in your heart.<\/p>\n In order to understand things better, you need to think about what has changed in your relationship, what\u2019s missing, and how you feel about all that?<\/p>\n \u00bfTe sientes solo, irrespetado, desapercibido, poco apreciado, indigno de amor?<\/p>\n En mi caso, sent\u00eda que faltaba algo en mi relaci\u00f3n porque ya no hab\u00eda conversaciones significativas, afecto f\u00edsico, sorprendernos el uno al otro y todas esas peque\u00f1as cosas que acaban significando mucho.<\/p>\n And even though I tried to explain this to my partner, he wouldn’t want to listen to me, or he agreed but never really did anything about it.<\/p>\n Y esa fue la raz\u00f3n por la que tambi\u00e9n me retir\u00e9 y dej\u00e9 de hacer un esfuerzo en nuestra relaci\u00f3n<\/a>.<\/p>\n That was the reason I cheated. I wasn’t ready to move on, but I wasn’t happy either.<\/p>\n Sent\u00eda como si estuviera atrapada en esta horrible pesadilla y lo \u00fanico que me despertaba de ella por un segundo era mi acto de enga\u00f1o.<\/p>\n When you realize what the real reason behind your infidelity is, you can make things right by gradually changing things in your relationship, if it’s possible.<\/p>\n If it’s not, then you should think about going separate ways because there’s no point in staying in a relationship that has no perspective or future, that makes you feel genuinely unhappy.<\/p>\n ( Ojal\u00e1 alguien me lo hubiera dicho antes de hacer trampas).<\/p>\n Even if there’s a valid reason for you cheating on your partner, you still feel like the shittiest person in the world.<\/p>\n Why? Because you betrayed their trust and you did something you wouldn’t want your partner or anyone else to do to you.<\/p>\n Even though I was really mad at the whole situation and my ignorant partner, that didn\u2019t help me feel indifferent about my cheating moment.<\/p>\n Me sent\u00eda muy triste, confusa y mal conmigo misma, pensando:<\/p>\n How could I’ve done such a thing when my whole life I was preaching the total opposite? <\/em><\/p>\n Todo este tiempo apoy\u00e9 la verdad, el compromiso y las relaciones honestas, s\u00f3lo para terminar siendo un tramposo.<\/em><\/p>\n The worst thing about it all is that even if your partner knows about it all and forgives you, you still can\u2019t forgive yourself.<\/p>\n “The toughest battle you’ll ever fight in your life is the battle within yourself.<\/a>”<\/p>\n I’ve always been my own biggest critic and that’s one of the reasons why I can’t accept the fact that I let myself do something really stupid.<\/p>\n My biggest critic inside me made me feel like I’m the shittiest person in the world and I didn’t even want my partner to ever forgive me because I would never be able to forgive myself.<\/p>\n Este sentimiento de ser un perdedor se convierte en parte de tu vida diaria.<\/p>\n As you’re walking down the street, you often feel like everyone is pointing fingers at you, reminding you that you\u2019re a cheater, liar, and someone who cannot be trusted.<\/p>\n And it’s not that you aren’t already doing the same to yourself.<\/p>\n It’s not that you’re not reminding yourself of your sinful act from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you fall asleep at night. With time, you accept the fact that you made a mistake (if it can even be called that) and you’re terribly sorry for it, but still this doesn’t change anything.<\/p>\n I’m pretty sure that you’re familiar with that famous phrase: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”<\/p>\n While there is some truth to it, it still isn’t completely valid and it demands an extensive discussion.<\/p>\n The fact that you cheated on someone once doesn’t mean that you’ve just earned a badge with the name “cheater” that will follow you for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll cheat on your every future partner.<\/p>\n I can confirm this from the viewpoint of my case. I’ve cheated only once in my whole life and I doubt that I’ll ever repeat it again because:<\/p>\n a) me da mucha pena, y<\/p>\n b) He aprendido una valiosa lecci\u00f3n y no pienso volver a hacer lo mismo.<\/p>\n And in my circle of friends, there are plenty of other people who cheated only once and swore that they\u2019d never do the same thing again because now they understand what they ought to do if faced with the same situation.<\/p>\n So, if you’ve just cheated on your boyfriend or if you ever do in the future, know that this doesn’t mean that you’ll repeat it again and that you’ve become the ultimate cheater who\u2019s going to ruin every single one of your future partners\u2019 lives.<\/p>\n It may sound weird, but the only positive thing about my cheating experience is that I’m glad I realized the real weight of it and I’m one hundred percent sure that I won’t do it ever again.<\/p>\n If you realize the same, then you know you’re doing the best you can and you’re not a creep who doesn’t give a damn about how others feel.<\/p>\n La culpa es un sentimiento poderoso que puede permanecer presente incluso a\u00f1os despu\u00e9s del acto y, en algunos casos, durante toda la vida.<\/p>\n It all depends on how sensitive you are and how you\u2019re coping with the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-woman-looking-thoughtful-at-balcony.jpg\")
<\/p>\nMi experiencia con el enga\u00f1o<\/h2>\n
![\"chica](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/girl-lying-in-bed-and-typing-on-laptop-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/couple-flirting-in-a-restaurant-2.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-couple-sitting-at-sofa-indoors.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\nFue muy duro lidiar con todo esto y empec\u00e9 a alejarme.<\/p>\n![\"joven](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-couple-talking-at-a-restaurant-2.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-woman-sitting-on-a-bed.jpg\")
<\/p>\nI CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND AND HERE’S WHAT I LEARNED FROM IT<\/h2>\n
1. “Just forgetting about it” is not on the table<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woried-woman-looking-throguht-window-and-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-lying-on-sofa-and-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n2. The guilt will impact your relationship (even if you don’t get caught)<\/h2>\n
![\"joven](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-couple-hugging-on-the-nature-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-holding-cup-and-thinking-at-home.jpg\")
<\/p>\n3. There’s a reason WHY you did this<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-woman-sitting-on-the-bed.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-sitting-alone-in-the-forest.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-woman-in-bedroom-late-at-night.jpg\")
<\/p>\n4. Te sentir\u00e1s como la persona m\u00e1s mierda del mundo<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/unhappy-business-woman-head-on-window.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/depressed-woman-looking-at-her-phone.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"retrato](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/portrait-of-thoughtful-women-leaning-against-street.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\nPero, con el tiempo, se hace m\u00e1s f\u00e1cil.<\/p>\n5. It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll cheat again<\/h2>\n
![\"mujer](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-women-leaning-agaist-wall-with-crossed-hand.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"chica](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/lonely-girl-sitting-on-wood-at-lake.jpg\")
<\/p>\n6. El enga\u00f1o afecta a tu comportamiento en futuras citas y relaciones<\/h2>\n
![\"el](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/man-hugged-his-sad-girlfriend.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"pareja](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/upset-couple-sitting-in-living-room-no-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"chica](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-girl-at-coffee-bar-looking-at-window.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"ENGA\u00d1\u00c9](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/I-CHEATED-ON-MY-BOYFRIEND-AND-HERES-WHAT-I-LEARNED-FROM-IT-Pinterest-724x1024.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"