{"id":7794,"date":"2019-11-01T09:30:59","date_gmt":"2019-11-01T09:30:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=7794"},"modified":"2022-01-19T15:09:18","modified_gmt":"2022-01-19T15:09:18","slug":"odio-hacer-sentir-culpa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/odio-hacer-sentir-culpa\/","title":{"rendered":"Te odio por hacerme sentir que todo fue culpa m\u00eda"},"content":{"rendered":"

A mi <\/span>Favoritos <\/span><\/i>Monstruo,<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I could say I don\u2019t feel a thing toward you. I wish I could say you can\u2019t get to me anymore, but, unfortunately, I\u2019m not one of those women who can find the strength to forgive their abusers in order to move on. <\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t forgive you and I can\u2019t let go of the things you did to me. I still get shivers when I remember the things you did to me and the things I let you do to me. I hate you for it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though I know better now, I\u2019m going to ask myself for the rest of my life why I wasn\u2019t good enough. <\/span><\/p>\n

I still wonder if I\u2019m ever going to be able to shake the feeling that all of it is my fault and if I\u2019m ever going to stop apologizing for the things I am not guilty of. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me hiciste sentir completamente in\u00fatil. Me arruinaste emocionalmente haci\u00e9ndote la v\u00edctima de las circunstancias que creaste y haci\u00e9ndome sentir<\/a> el monstruo. <\/b><\/p>\n

You blamed me for you going out and drinking every night. It was my fault you showed up late, smelling of another woman\u2019s perfume. <\/span><\/p>\n

Because if I had been good enough, you would\u2019ve never done something like that. <\/span><\/p>\n

You made me out to be a lunatic whenever I wanted to know where you\u2019d been. <\/b>Me hiciste sentir como si yo fuera el loco<\/a> cuando te expliqu\u00e9 c\u00f3mo nunca pas\u00e1bamos tiempo juntos, c\u00f3mo yo ya no era tu prioridad, y dijiste que yo ten\u00eda la culpa cuando ya no me mostrabas amor. <\/span><\/p>\n

And then, after you\u2019d said your fair share of words that cut my heart like knives, you\u2019d leave and I\u2019d stay sobbing on the floor, asking myself how I got there. <\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is, you came across as a truly nice person and that\u2019s why I held on so long. <\/b>I held on and held on and I couldn\u2019t let go until there was only letting go left. <\/span><\/p>\n

Hasta Acab\u00e9 en una pesadilla<\/a>, one from which I couldn\u2019t wake up. The worst part of that nightmare was the fact that the monster who haunted me was actually the man I loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nobody ever told me that monsters are real. Nobody ever told me that they look like people. Nobody warned me you\u2019d turn into a monster the minute I fell for you. <\/span><\/p>\n

But that was how the things needed to develop so that you\u2019d have so much power over me. You needed me to love you in order for you to be able to have me under your feet, incapable of getting up.<\/span><\/p>\n

V\u00e9ase tambi\u00e9n:<\/strong> 5 maneras en que los narcisistas te obligan a salir de tu relaci\u00f3n<\/a><\/p>\n

I am so mad at myself for being so nice, for apologizing for the things I didn\u2019t do, for making you my life, for being dependent on you, for wasting my time on you, for forgiving you and missing you when you weren\u2019t around and allowing you to get back with me whenever you wanted, even though I knew better.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Chica<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I deserved better than being ignored, better than being someone\u2019s punching bag, better than being manipulated and I deserved better than you. <\/b><\/p>\n

I tried to show you how much the things you did to me hurt, but I couldn\u2019t. You never let me. <\/span><\/p>\n

But if I had been to able to show you how much you hurt me, you\u2019d have never had the courage to look me in the eye again. Maybe that was the main reason you never wanted to hear how I felt. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tal vez por eso nunca me permitiste contarte las cosas que me hiciste. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me dijiste que yo era culpable de todo y que me lo hab\u00eda buscado. <\/b>You told me I shouldn\u2019t have been so sensitive or stupid or naive. You left me emotionally drained, confused and feeling useless. Each time you came after me, I felt like the rug was being pulled out from under me and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing I ever did was right and I was blamed for all your mistakes. <\/span><\/p>\n

Lo feo es que quer\u00eda que fueras m\u00eda. Te quer\u00eda, a pesar de saber cu\u00e1nto me dol\u00eda estar contigo. Me apunt\u00e9 a ser torturado, porque ten\u00eda demasiado miedo de perderte. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ten\u00eda miedo de perderte hasta que alguien me hizo darme cuenta de que no todo lo que pierdo es una p\u00e9rdida.<\/a> Y perderte no fue una p\u00e9rdida. Fue una dicha. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nunca me sent\u00ed m\u00e1s poderoso que cuando me liber\u00e9 de tus cadenas.<\/b> Nunca me sent\u00ed m\u00e1s perdida que cuando me qued\u00e9 sin ti porque no hab\u00eda nadie que me dijera qu\u00e9 hacer. <\/span><\/p>\n

Despite that, I had never felt more free in my entire life. I was drained and lost and scared, but I knew that no matter what happened to me from that point, it couldn\u2019t be any worse than what I\u2019d already been through. <\/span><\/p>\n

S\u00e9 que todos tenemos que aprender algunas lecciones en la vida y t\u00fa, mi <\/span>estimado <\/span><\/i>monstruo, eran la lecci\u00f3n mucho peor<\/a> que me ha pasado. Lamento tanto esta lecci\u00f3n y me siento avergonzada por haber permitido que me convirtieras en tu marioneta durante tanto tiempo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pero ya es suficiente. No m\u00e1s.<\/span><\/p>\n

The monster in you created somebody so strong that you can\u2019t even wrap your head around it. Even though I get shivers from flashbacks of the times when we were together, I am not afraid of you.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t blame me for anything anymore. You can’t torture me and you can’t bring me down.<\/p>\n

Esta chica ha despertado de su peor pesadilla. Ya no tienes poder sobre m\u00ed.<\/p>\n

Que tengas una vida agradable y muy distanciada, lejos de m\u00ed,
\nDe \"El que se escap\u00f3\".<\/p>\n

\"TE<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To My Favorite Monster, I wish I could say I don\u2019t feel a thing toward you. I wish I could say you can\u2019t get to me anymore, but, unfortunately, I\u2019m not one of those women who can find the strength to forgive their abusers in order to move on. I don\u2019t forgive you and I…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":7795,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/averie-woodard-205419.jpg",800,567,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7794"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7794\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}