{"id":8233,"date":"2017-11-09T09:02:45","date_gmt":"2017-11-09T09:02:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=8233"},"modified":"2022-01-17T23:45:19","modified_gmt":"2022-01-17T23:45:19","slug":"abuso-no-amor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/abuso-no-amor\/","title":{"rendered":"El maltrato NO es amor"},"content":{"rendered":"

How long would you last in an abusive relationship? Would you be able to leave the first time something happened, even though you would be leaving a man you loved? Could you learn to keep your mouth shut because you felt like you had to? Keep it in and keep quiet. I\u2019ve dealt with the cruel and hateful words of a man. The words that make you feel two feet tall so much that you retreat into yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me perd\u00ed<\/a>, I lost who I was. I\u2019d been with my husband since I was 16. I had dated, but that was about all. I believed in OLD love, the kind where you found someone and that was who you gave yourself to – your other half. I wanted the forever love, but that\u2019s not what I got. I got so much worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cuando mi marido apareci\u00f3 en mi vida, hab\u00eda conseguido un empleo en el mismo lugar donde yo trabajaba. En ese momento, me enamor\u00e9. Sent\u00eda que pod\u00eda contarle cualquier cosa y \u00e9l lo entend\u00eda y siempre estaba ah\u00ed para m\u00ed. Ten\u00eda 16 a\u00f1os y pensaba que hab\u00eda encontrado al amor de mi vida. Como cualquier pareja joven, ten\u00edamos discusiones tontas y romp\u00edamos un d\u00eda s\u00ed y otro tambi\u00e9n, pero siempre volv\u00edamos el uno al otro. <\/span><\/p>\n

Era un amor de juventud, est\u00e1bamos unidos por la cadera y ambos \u00e9ramos muy celosos en aquella \u00e9poca, ya que \u00edbamos a colegios diferentes y s\u00f3lo nos ve\u00edamos en el almuerzo. De alg\u00fan modo, nuestra relaci\u00f3n sobrevivi\u00f3 al instituto y yo tambi\u00e9n termin\u00e9 la escuela de belleza. Acordamos que, cuando acabara la escuela, nos comprar\u00edamos una casa. Yo ten\u00eda entonces unos 19 a\u00f1os. <\/span><\/p>\n

Poco despu\u00e9s de tener nuestra propia casa se volvi\u00f3 mental y f\u00edsicamente abusivo<\/a>. I wanted to be strong so at first when we\u2019d argue I would always stand up for myself. He eventually didn\u2019t like that. He already cussed me out and called me awful things, and I him, but the first day he hit me I wasn\u2019t having it. <\/span><\/p>\n

I stood up for myself and pushed back and that left me slammed into walls, doors, and flung off the bed. I still fought back, even when I wanted to give up. I wanted to be that strong woman who didn\u2019t give up. I just didn\u2019t understand why or how he could hurt me when he was supposed to love me. El maltrato no es amor<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Chica<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tengo todos los <\/span>lo-siento-nunca-volver\u00e1-a-suceder<\/b> lies and I believed him. I decided to stay with him. Not long after, we got engaged and decided to have our wedding three months later. All I cared about was my dress and marrying him, since things had gotten better. I was ready until I wasn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

While planning the wedding, the abuse started again, and it was so much worse than before. I decided I wanted to call off the wedding because I wasn\u2019t going to be a battered wife, even though I already felt like one. I went to talk to my husband to tell him I was done. He didn\u2019t take it well; he cussed me out and threw me around a bit and told me that if I cancelled the wedding he would stop helping me with our place that my mom had cosigned on. This would cause everything to fall on her shoulders if I wasn\u2019t able to cover everything on my own again. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was young and dumb and I felt like I was an adult and should be able to deal with my own problems. I didn\u2019t want anyone to know what was going on. I should have told my mom. I would lie and cover my bruises when I knew she would have helped me. I still wasn\u2019t going to let my mom take the fall for what I thought were my bad choices at the time. I lo amaba tanto que estaba cegada<\/a> by it and stupidly believed him every time he apologized, and I married him. I didn\u2019t know at the time it was going to ruin my life and I would be put through hell for years. <\/span><\/p>\n

Quer\u00eda creer que la gente pod\u00eda cambiar, que \u00e9l cambiar\u00eda. Me aferraba a esa peque\u00f1a esperanza de que podr\u00eda cambiar y que estar\u00edamos bien porque le quer\u00eda y ten\u00eda estabilidad con \u00e9l. Ten\u00eda miedo de dejarle. De estar sola. De sentirme sola.<\/span><\/p>\n

My vision was clouded. I wanted the marriage, the kids, and the career. I wanted it all, but slowly all my hopes and dreams were going out the window because I just didn\u2019t care anymore. I was getting to that point of just giving up. When someone tears you apart for so long a big piece of you starts to believe the names you’re being called. He would tell me that no one would want me, and I believed him and never left. I put up with the pain and the abuse because of my own fears.<\/span><\/p>\n

I recently left my abuser at 30 years old. It may have taken me a while but I know now I deserve more. That I am worth more. Yes, I am still scared of what the future may hold but I\u2019m excited to find myself again. To be happy again. <\/span><\/p>\n

Puede que no quiera una relaci\u00f3n ahora mismo, pero s\u00e9 hay un hombre ah\u00ed fuera <\/a>for me who will treat me the way I should have been treated all along. Someone who values me and shows me I am something special. Never give up hope as things tend to change, even if it\u2019s not overnight. You can have the life you want and keep moving forward. Abuse is not love.<\/span><\/p>\n

por Darby Genco<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How long would you last in an abusive relationship? Would you be able to leave the first time something happened, even though you would be leaving a man you loved? Could you learn to keep your mouth shut because you felt like you had to? Keep it in and keep quiet. I\u2019ve dealt with the…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":8234,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/jairo-alzate-45540.jpg",800,553,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8233"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8233\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}