{"id":8949,"date":"2017-11-23T09:30:35","date_gmt":"2017-11-23T09:30:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=8949"},"modified":"2021-08-31T08:38:23","modified_gmt":"2021-08-31T08:38:23","slug":"sobrevivir-a-una-mala-ruptura-prospera","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/sobrevivir-a-una-mala-ruptura-prospera\/","title":{"rendered":"Sobrevivir y prosperar tras una mala ruptura"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cuando estamos en una relaci\u00f3n con alguien a quien amamos, a veces nos perdemos<\/a>. What \u201cI\u201d need suddenly gets taken over by what \u201cwe\u201d need . . . well, let\u2019s be honest, by what \u201che\u201d needs. This can be good in a healthy relationship . . . putting the other person\u2019s needs before our own. But in a bad relationship, this can become unhealthy.<\/p>\n

What happens, then, if your lover decides to leave you? You may become desperate. Why, why, WHY would he want to leave you when your whole world revolves around him? You might try anything to get him to stay. You may think, \u201cIf he only knew how much I love him, he wouldn\u2019t leave.\u201d Or, you may begin begging him to stay, making promises to give him even more than you already do. Or you may get angry, telling him you don\u2019t love him and never have.<\/p>\n

\u00bfLe suena familiar alguna de estas situaciones?<\/p>\n

These are natural reactions, but do they help? Unfortunately, no. The harder we try to keep our lover from leaving us, the more anxious he is to leave. Our only choice is to let him go. I know, this is not what you were hoping to hear. Sadly, I don\u2019t have a magic wand to wave that will make it all better. (I don\u2019t have a golden pumpkin either.)<\/p>\n

What now? As my therapist used to say, \u201cTake a bathtub moment.\u201d Crawl into a warm bath, and cry your eyes out. You will need more than one of these. Rinse and repeat.<\/p>\n

Your first task is to grieve. Yuck. I know. No one wants to grieve. However, if you don\u2019t, your grief will come back to haunt you later. \u201cWe don\u2019t bury our feelings dead, we bury them alive.\u201d We think they are buried and gone, but they will rear their ugly little heads later. Perhaps, at your best friend\u2019s wedding you will begin sobbing uncontrollably. Not a good look for a bridesmaid. Perhaps when you are giving a presentation at work to your boss, her boss and her boss, you break down. Not a way to move up the ladder. Conf\u00eda en m\u00ed.<\/a><\/p>\n

What does purposeful grieving look like? This will look different for each person. Some will crawl into bed, and stay there for three days. Others will want to journal their feelings. Still others might take long walks, or sob on their best friend\u2019s shoulder. Whatever works for you, do it. If you feel yourself falling into a serious depression (feeling depressed every moment for more than two weeks), seek some counseling\u2014you might need an anti-depressant for a while. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, allowing yourself to feel the pain will make it go away faster in the long run.<\/p>\n

Grieving will take longer than you want it to. But, doing nothing but grieving is not a good way to move on. Neither is hooking up with your hot next-door neighbor. Finding a new man right away might feel good, but it is not good. It will only distract you from your pain for a time; remember . . . feelings are buried alive. Your buried grief at the loss of your first man won\u2019t endear you to a second.<\/p>\n

\"Sobrevivir<\/p>\n

So, besides grieving, which let\u2019s admit it will suck, what else can you do? Try some self-care. Begin doing things you like to do that maybe you stopped doing while you were with your lover. Do you like eating vegetarian, but he loved steak? Do you like to watch sappy romances, while he only wanted to watch action films? Was he a night owl, and you are an early bird? Try to remember the things you loved to do before you met him, and begin doing them. Reconnect with (girl) friends you might have dropped when he came along.<\/p>\n

Adem\u00e1s de este autocuidado emocional, haga lo siguiente algo de autocuidado f\u00edsico<\/a>. El ejercicio puede aliviar la depresi\u00f3n. Quiz\u00e1 nunca fuiste corredor de marat\u00f3n, pero puedes dar una vuelta a la manzana. Quiz\u00e1 antes te gustaba el yoga en el gimnasio, pero tu amante siempre quer\u00eda que levantaras pesas con \u00e9l. Salir al aire libre, o rodearte de personas con ideas afines y hacer algo de ejercicio f\u00edsico te levantar\u00e1 el \u00e1nimo de verdad.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t pig out on potato chips or chocolate or alcohol. This won\u2019t elevate your mood in the long run. Stepping on the scale to see you\u2019ve gained 10 pounds, or waking up with a raging hangover won\u2019t help. Be kind to your body . . . it has been through a lot, too! Eat healthy food, exercise, and make sure you get a yearly check-up with a doctor, or see the doctor if you get sick.<\/p>\n

Otra cosa que, sorprendentemente, puede ayudar mucho es ofrecerse voluntario para ayudar a los dem\u00e1s. Salir de ti mismo puede hacer maravillas. Ayudar a alguien que tiene una vida m\u00e1s dura que la tuya puede ayudarte a relativizar tus problemas. \u00bfPor qui\u00e9n sientes compasi\u00f3n? \u00bfA los sin techo? Hazte voluntario en la misi\u00f3n de rescate local. \u00bfA los ancianos? \u00bfSab\u00edas que muchos residentes de residencias de ancianos nunca reciben visitas? \u00bfA los ni\u00f1os? Hazte voluntario en la escuela p\u00fablica de tu localidad, en la clase de la escuela dominical de tu iglesia o en el programa extraescolar de tu comunidad.<\/p>\n

\u00bfCu\u00e1les son otros beneficios del voluntariado? Puede que conozcas a nuevos amigos<\/a> que sienten pasi\u00f3n por la misma causa. El voluntariado tambi\u00e9n puede conducir a empleos remunerados, bien porque quienes trabajan all\u00ed ven tu dedicaci\u00f3n a su poblaci\u00f3n, bien porque podr\u00edas conocer e impresionar a personas que te ofrecer\u00e1n un trabajo en otro lugar.<\/p>\n

Una vez que hayas hecho todo este trabajo para recuperar tu vida, es posible que tu ex-amante vuelva a husmear. El hecho de que seas fuerte, sepas lo que quieres y cuides de ti misma puede parecerle muy atractivo. Preg\u00fantate... \u00bfrealmente quieres que vuelva o est\u00e1s mejor sin \u00e9l?<\/p>\n

La decisi\u00f3n es suya.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

por\u00a0Caroline Abbott<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we are in a relationship with someone we love, we sometimes lose ourselves. What \u201cI\u201d need suddenly gets taken over by what \u201cwe\u201d need . . . well, let\u2019s be honest, by what \u201che\u201d needs. This can be good in a healthy relationship . . . putting the other person\u2019s needs before our own….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":8953,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29626],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-affair"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29626,"label":"affair"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/f-519-1.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"April Callaghan","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/author\/april\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29626,"name":"affair","slug":"affair","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29626,"taxonomy":"category","description":"If you want to learn more about affairs, here you'll learn about different types of infidelity, how affairs happen, how to recognize a cheater, and more.","parent":29620,"count":132,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29626,"category_count":132,"category_description":"If you want to learn more about affairs, here you'll learn about different types of infidelity, how affairs happen, how to recognize a cheater, and more.","cat_name":"affair","category_nicename":"affair","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8949"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8949\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}