She loved you the way you are. She knew you weren’t perfect and she never expected you to be. She accepted you the way you are with all your flaws and all your imperfections and she decided to look beyond them. She always believed you’re more than your mistakes and she trusted that you’ll turn out to be good to her.
She put up with you when nobody else would. At the moments when you were unlovable, she loved you the most. During your hardest days, she decided to love you more than she would normally. At times when anyone else would have turned their backs on you, she decided to welcome you with both her hands open. When you were moody, she waited for you to get better before talking with you. Whenever you yelled at her after your bad day, she just waited for the moment to pass, so she could tell you everything will be okay.
She stood by your side even when everyone else decided to leave. She wasn’t ever going to leave you high and dry. She was alway there when you needed her, wasn’t she? You knew you could always count on her because you knew you always stood high on her priority list. Because of the person she is, she’d never leave you alone to fight your demons. Whenever you needed a safe haven, you knew her doors were always open for you.
With her, you had everything you needed. She was your lover, your girl and your best friend. All in one. There was no need for anyone else because she had everything you needed. You were loved. You were appreciated. You mattered.
She gave you far more than you deserved. She couldn’t help it, it’s the way she is. She always gives her best to people. Even when some people didn’t deserve her, she always kept being good to them because she hoped they would understand why she does it. She hoped people would look up to her and that they’ll start being good too. That’s why she kept giving you more than you deserved. That’s why she always gave you more than you deserved.
But nothing she did for you was enough. Because you didn’t appreciate her. You never noticed the things she did for you. You never saw how much daily effort she put into your relationship: how hard she tried to be the right one for you; how hard she tried to meet your expectations—to see what was it that you wanted so she could give you what you desired. She knew she wasn’t perfect, but for you she tried so hard to be.
You had no idea how to love a good girl. You treated her like all your other flings. You never put her on your priority list. And even though she was always there when you needed her, you were never there when she needed you. You never appreciated her for who she was. She was either too emotional or too clingy or too needy. But all she ever wanted was your time and a small effort, so she could continue to fight for the two of you. She would’ve carried your entire relationship if she saw her fight was worth it. But you kept showing her that she’s trying in vain.
You shattered her whole world. It must be that you have no idea how it feels to be ready to do everything for someone who wouldn’t even lift a finger for you. Because that’s what broke her. The realization that she wasn’t half as important to you as you were to her was like a dagger through her heart. And that’s when she realized she was giving all of herself to someone who didn’t really deserve it.
You left her no choice but to walk away. I mean how long did you think it would take her to realize that the best thing for her was to pack her bags and leave? She didn’t want to leave, but she’d end up being lost if she stayed in a relationship in which she was the only one who loved—in which she was the only one who tried and wanted to see it work. You didn’t care, so she figured you wouldn’t notice she’s gone anyway. Because if you did, and if you cared enough, would you really let the good girl slip away?
When you feel like something is missing, when you feel like there is too much of an empty space in your heart and that you’re alone, don’t panic. It’s just the absence of someone who used to love you. It’s the absence of the girl who you pushed away.
I know you’re surprised to wake up alone, to have to lie down in a cold bed and I know you’re surprised to see her gone. You’re surprised to see her gone because you thought she’ll stay beside you no matter what, but she didn’t. Because she could stand anything—anything except the fact that you didn’t appreciate her. You left her no other choice but to walk away. Good girls walk away, too.