{"id":114571,"date":"2020-11-23T17:57:40","date_gmt":"2020-11-23T17:57:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=114571"},"modified":"2022-06-10T12:03:31","modified_gmt":"2022-06-10T12:03:31","slug":"lista-di-controllo-per-il-divorzio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/lista-di-controllo-per-il-divorzio\/","title":{"rendered":"La lista di controllo definitiva \"Dovrei divorziare? Lista di controllo"},"content":{"rendered":"

Writing down a “Should I get a divorce” checklist might be one of the best ways to make the right call regarding your marriage.<\/p>\n

This way, you’ll put everything on a piece of paper, and you’ll get an impartial perspective on your situation.<\/p>\n

Don’t worry: having second thoughts about ending your marriage is perfectly normal. You’re not sure what the right choice is, and you want to do what’s best for your entire family without rushing your decision.<\/p>\n

Well, in that case, a “Should I get un divorzio<\/a>” checklist is the thing for you. Here are the 12 crucial things you must consider before starting the divorce process.<\/p>\n

La lista di controllo definitiva per il divorzio in 11 punti<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Abuso<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

The first point on your checklist should definitely be abuse. You see, bad things happen between married couples and nobody\u2019s life is all sunshine and roses.<\/p>\n

As much as you try to avoid it, sometimes you and your spouse will get into a fight. Sometimes you\u2019ll even exaggerate by insulting each other, which is not okay but is also not reason enough to get a divorce.<\/p>\n

However, there is a huge difference between your spouse calling you names once then apologizing for it and them verbally abusing you. Yes, that\u2019s also a thing.<\/p>\n

Quando si pensa all'abuso, si presume che l'altra persona debba effettivamente colpirci perch\u00e9 le sue azioni siano classificate come violente.<\/p>\n

Well, this is exactly why a lot of people remain in abusive marriages: they don\u2019t know that someone can abuse you physically, emotivamente<\/a>verbalmente e in molti altri modi.<\/p>\n

If any kind of abuse is on your checklist, it\u2019s an adequate indicator that your marriage is not what it should be.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Another thing I\u2019ll ask you is to remember that no matter what is going on, this is not your fault, and you\u2019re not to blame. Nobody has the right to abuse you, let alone the person who should love you the most.<\/p>\n

Affari<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

L'infedelt\u00e0 \u00e8 anche una delle ragioni principali per cui le persone si un divorzio<\/a>. Ancora una volta, esistono diversi tipi di infedelt\u00e0.<\/p>\n

Il suo coniuge ha avuto un problema fisico o un relazione emotiva<\/a>? How long did it last? Maybe they didn\u2019t actually commit adultery, but you noticed they si \u00e8 innamorato di un'altra persona<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Well, sometimes, this realization can be more painful than one night of weakness that didn\u2019t mean anything. Either way, it depends on what hurt you the most.<\/p>\n

However, you\u2019re not the only one making this decision. Does your spouse want a second chance for your marriage, or are they ready to start fresh with their new partner?<\/p>\n

In quest'ultimo caso, non avete altra scelta che accettare il divorzio. Dopotutto, cosa potete fare? Implorateli di amarvi<\/a>anche se sono stati loro ad avere una relazione?<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

On the other hand, if they\u2019re the ones asking for your forgiveness, it\u2019s up to both of you to decide about your marriage\u2019s future.<\/p>\n

Credete che il vostro partner sia stato un caso isolato? Riuscite a guardare il vostro coniuge nello stesso modo dopo questo tradimento? Siete pronti ad affrontare un recupero della relazione<\/a>?<\/p>\n

Or maybe you were the unfaithful one? In that case, the situation is pretty much the same \u2013 you two just have reversed roles.<\/p>\n

Qualunque sia la vostra decisione, ricordate che non c'\u00e8 vergogna nel Perdonare una relazione<\/a> or ending a marriage because of it \u2013 if that\u2019s what you think is right.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dovete essere consapevoli che questa infedelt\u00e0 doveva essere causata da qualcosa che non andava nel vostro matrimonio.<\/p>\n

Se decidete di darvi un'altra possibilit\u00e0, dovete trovare la fonte e curarla prima che distrugga davvero il vostro matrimonio.<\/p>\n

Consulenza matrimoniale<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

A volte le coppie hanno difficolt\u00e0 a superare gli ostacoli nel loro matrimonio. I loro problemi coniugali sembrano troppo grandi da gestire e si sentono incapaci di raggiungere un compromesso.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t matter if we\u2019re talking about infidelity, their differences, or a lack of passion \u2013 at the end of the day, the point is the same: something is off.<\/p>\n

However, they still have feelings for each other. Maybe they\u2019ve spent too much time together to let it all go to waste just like that. Or they want to give it another try for the kid\u2019s sake?<\/p>\n

In questo caso, consulenza matrimoniale<\/a> \u00e8 la strada giusta da percorrere.<\/p>\n

Consultare un professionista<\/h3>\n

Ogni coppia dovrebbe rivolgersi a un professionista prima di compiere il passo finale e iniziare il processo di divorzio.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know what you must be thinking right now: \u201cWhat could a stranger possibly know about my marriage that the two of us don\u2019t?\u201d Well, surprisingly, a lot.<\/p>\n

Innanzitutto, si tratta di un professionista specializzato nel vostro tipo di problemi. Si tratta di una persona che ha il compito di aiutare le coppie sposate a trovare una via di mezzo.<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Inoltre, poich\u00e9 il consulente matrimoniale non \u00e8 coinvolto emotivamente, pu\u00f2 guardare ai vostri problemi con maggiore obiettivit\u00e0.<\/p>\n

They will give you a broader perspective on things, and you\u2019ll probably start seeing your marriage in a different light once you talk to them.<\/p>\n

This is the person who can show you the right direction \u2013 someone who knows what you should do to save your relationship and become a better husband and wife.<\/p>\n

Accettare i consigli degli altri<\/h3>\n

Whatever you do, don\u2019t let anyone else interfere in your relationship. Look, I know that you\u2019ll both ask for your friend or family\u2019s opinion, but don\u2019t let their attitudes guide you.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s one thing to talk to a trained professional who knows what they\u2019re doing, but blindly following a third person\u2019s lead can make things even worse.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care if you have a friend who\u2019s been through a divorce or if your spouse\u2019s parents are telling them what to do. Each case is unique, and the two of you are the only ones who have the right to make a decision.<\/p>\n

Comunicazione<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

The next point on your \u201cShould I get a divorce” checklist is the communication between you and your spouse.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re an adult, and this is not your first relationship, so I don\u2019t have to emphasize the importance of healthy communication in a marriage.<\/p>\n

What I am interested in now is whether you and your partner ever talked things through. But I mean really talked \u2013 honestly and open-heartedly.<\/p>\n

No, a healthy conversation isn\u2019t yelling, holding grudges, resenting, and engaging in a blame game. Because I\u2019m sure that\u2019s what you two have been doing.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am talking about sitting down alone, without the kids or anyone else interfering. I\u2019m talking about being completely sincere and putting all the cards on the table.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dovete dimenticare l'aggressivit\u00e0 passiva, il trattamento del silenzio e altre tecniche tossiche simili. Dovete dire tutto quello che vi passa per la testa prima di chiedere il divorzio.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This might sound strange, but it\u2019s possible that your spouse is not certain about what\u2019s been bothering you all along. Maybe they didn\u2019t listen or didn\u2019t want to hear your complaints at that moment.<\/p>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

So, now you\u2019re on the verge of getting a divorce lawyer without ever really having a decent conversation.<\/p>\n

Well, even if you don\u2019t think that your marriage is worth fighting for, wouldn\u2019t it be a pity if you ended things without speaking your mind one last time?<\/p>\n

If nothing else, this is the least you owe to each other and to the years you\u2019ve spent together \u2013 the least you owe to all those beautiful memories you once shared.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s crucial to forget about your egos during this conversation. There is no need to be pathetic either, but don\u2019t hide your emotions from each other because this might be the last chance to express them.<\/p>\n

Ask your spouse everything you\u2019ve been wondering about. Clear away all of your doubts and let them answer all the questions that have been bugging you.<\/p>\n

Yes, there is a chance that you two will decide to give it another shot after this talk. But, there is also a chance that you\u2019ll stick to the divorce.<\/p>\n

Even in that case, I promise you that sometime in the future, when all of this is behind you, you\u2019ll be glad you had one last conversation. You\u2019ll essere felici<\/a> che nulla sia stato lasciato in sospeso e che abbiate ottenuto la vostra chiusura.<\/p>\n

Piano genitoriale<\/h2>\n

\"madre<\/p>\n

It\u2019s unbelievably difficult to go through a divorce when it\u2019s just the two of you. Well, you can only imagine how painful it is to do it when you have children together.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s get one thing straight: your kids shouldn\u2019t be the only reason why you choose to remain in an unhappy marriage.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nevertheless, they\u2019re quite a significant factor in this decision and the entire process.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whether you like it or not, your kids depend on you and your husband or wife. I\u2019m not referring to finances here only \u2013 I\u2019m also talking about emotional, psychological, and every other form of dependency.<\/p>\n

No matter what\u2019s going on between you two, you\u2019re both their parents. Therefore, they love and want you both in their lives.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bisogna essere consapevoli che la loro vita cambier\u00e0 drasticamente dopo il divorzio.<\/strong> Inoltre, c'\u00e8 la possibilit\u00e0 che questo lasci conseguenze sulla loro salute mentale se non viene fatto correttamente.<\/p>\n

First of all, they won\u2019t be living with one of their parents anymore, which is a shock enough.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re used to having you both present in their lives 24\/7, and now, all of a sudden, they\u2019ll only get to see their mom or dad a few times a week.<\/p>\n

\"padre<\/p>\n

Also, there is a possibility that they\u2019ll have to move, depending on which spouse keeps your marital home. That means they\u2019ll have to change their entire surroundings, including their school and friends.<\/p>\n

How old are your children? Do you think that they\u2019re mature enough to process what\u2019s going on?
\nVedranno questo come la rottura di tutta la loro famiglia e del mondo che conoscono?<\/p>\n

Cosa pensate di fare con l'affidamento dei figli? Pensate che voi e il vostro coniuge riuscirete a trovare una via di mezzo e a trovare un accordo che vada bene per i vostri figli?<\/p>\n

Or will you have to go through a child custody battle? Will you two have what it takes to go through this painful process the adult way, or will your children\u2019s lives become your battlefield?<\/p>\n

Sono tutte domande che bisogna porsi prima di presentare la domanda di divorzio. After all, you\u2019ve got to have a plan \u2013 you\u2019re responsible for other human beings who are affected by your decision.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Either way, this will be a traumatic experience for them, and it\u2019s your job to minimize the damage.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong: I\u2019m not here to judge you for getting a divorce despite having kids \u2013 I just want you to take this situation seriously.<\/p>\n

L'amore<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re younger, you\u2019re convinced that love is enough for two people to succeed together.<\/p>\n

You feel butterflies in your belly, the other person makes you laugh, and before you know it, you can\u2019t picture your life without them.<\/p>\n

Cos\u00ec si finisce per sposarsi. Prima o poi ci si rende conto che la vita non \u00e8 tutta arcobaleni e unicorni.<\/p>\n

Most importantly: you realize that love is not enough for a sustainable relationship that doesn\u2019t have compromise, respect, fidelity, healthy communication, etc.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t agree with you more: you\u2019re an adult who needs other things besides love to be happy and fulfilled. <\/strong><\/p>\n

But let\u2019s not forget one thing: even though it\u2019s not the only thing that matters, love between partners is still crucial and irreplaceable.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, let your feelings be the next point on your \u201cShould I get a divorce\u201d checklist. No, this doesn\u2019t make you an immature hopeless romantic \u2013 it means that you want to take everything into account.<\/p>\n

La domanda \u00e8: c'\u00e8 ancora amore tra voi e il vostro coniuge? Vi amate ancora<\/a>, despite everything bad that\u2019s happened between you two?<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

L'amore vi unisce<\/h3>\n

If the answer is yes, will these feelings magically go away the moment you sign those divorce papers? Basically, what I want to know is whether you\u2019re capable of killing those feelings off?<\/p>\n

C'\u00e8 la possibilit\u00e0 di amarli ancora, tra qualche anno, nonostante non stiate pi\u00f9 insieme? E vale la pena correre questo rischio?<\/strong> Chi ascolterete, il vostro cuore o la vostra mente?<\/p>\n

Disinnamorarsi del proprio coniuge<\/h3>\n

On the other hand, there are couples whose passion vanished ages ago and couples who are convinced that they don\u2019t love each other anymore.<\/p>\n

Well, I\u2019m not here to advise you to stay in a loveless marriage. Remember: love is not enough, but it is crucial.<\/strong><\/p>\n

However, if this is the only reason why you want a divorce, ask yourself whether you\u2019ve done everything to rekindle your love.<\/p>\n

Look, just because you are not in love with your partner the way you were at the beginning of your romance doesn\u2019t make you totally indifferent.<\/p>\n

Felicit\u00e0 personale<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Alla fine della giornata, the most important thing you have to ask yourself is, \u201cAm I happy?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Potreste vivere in una villa, con tutte le finanze a posto e un coniuge che vi porta la colazione a letto ogni mattina.<\/p>\n

Potreste avere un matrimonio apparentemente perfetto e non avere assolutamente nulla di cui lamentarvi.<\/p>\n

But at the same time, you could be unhappy. Maybe you\u2019ve concluded that getting married was a mistake in the first place.<\/p>\n

Maybe you feel trapped in your relationship. Perhaps you can\u2019t stand looking at your spouse anymore, for no specific reason.<\/p>\n

All of this might make you feel unhappy. You can\u2019t really explain why, but you know that you don\u2019t want to remain married to your significant other.<\/p>\n

E questo va benissimo. Non c'\u00e8 nulla di cui sentirsi in colpa. It\u2019s better to be honest than to keep on sleeping next to someone who makes you miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If this is not a phase, and you\u2019ve been feeling like this for a while now, be selfish enough to put your satisfaction first. Go in your pursuit of happiness!<\/p>\n

Vita sentimentale dopo il divorzio<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

The next thing on your \u201cShould I get a divorce\u201d checklist is your love life afterward. Will you stay single? Or do you plan on remarrying?<\/p>\n

Naturalmente non si pu\u00f2 mai prevedere il proprio futuro, ma si possono esaminare entrambe le opzioni.<\/p>\n

Vita singola<\/h3>\n

When you\u2019ve been in a relationship and married for most of your adult life, it\u2019s natural that you’re scared of being single.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Anche se il vostro matrimonio era un disastro, almeno sapevate di avere sempre qualcuno su cui contare.<\/p>\n

Sapevate chi chiamare per primo in caso di emergenza, avevate qualcuno con cui condividere le responsabilit\u00e0 e le faccende domestiche e avevate il vostro \"plus\" in occasione di eventi importanti.<\/p>\n

Each of these things might seem irrelevant at this moment in time but trust me \u2013 once you lose them for good, you\u2019ll sense their absence.<\/p>\n

But this is not me telling you that you can\u2019t make it on your own. On the contrary, this is just me preparing you for what\u2019s coming next, so you can be strong enough to endure all those hardships.<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie to you: it will take you some time to get used to this new situation. However, I promise you that you will make it and that you will la tua vita da single<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Rientrare nel mondo degli appuntamenti<\/h3>\n

The Earth won\u2019t stop spinning once you sign those papers, as much as it seems that way now.<\/p>\n

Anche se al momento vi sembrer\u00e0 una missione impossibile, riuscirete a innamorarsi di nuovo<\/a> prima o poi.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong: I\u2019m not here to force you to jump into a new relationship the moment you part ways with your significant other.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, I\u2019m asking you: how do you picture your potential relationship after a divorce?<\/strong> Would you only agree to be with a divorcee who\u2019s been through the same experience as you?<\/p>\n

Quando vi vedete mentalmente pronti per questo passo? Come pensate che il vostro nuovo partner si inserisca nella vostra vita?<\/p>\n

How will your love life impact your kids, if you have any? Are you open to the possibility of having more children, or do you think you\u2019re done?<\/p>\n

Situazione finanziaria<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

Costo del divorzio<\/h3>\n

Wouldn\u2019t it be great if you could just make a decision about the divorce? One of you packs your bags, leaves your house, and that\u2019s it?<\/p>\n

Allora si tratterebbe di una relazione. La separazione legale richiede procedure costose.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the best-case scenario, you\u2019ll just pay the legal fees. However, this is only possible if you have no real estate or share child custody.<\/p>\n

Se riuscite ad accordarvi su questioni importanti, a firmare un accordo di divorzio non contestato e ad assumere un mediatore di divorzio, vi coster\u00e0 molto meno che pagare due avvocati divorzisti.<\/p>\n

Naturalmente, quest'ultima opzione \u00e8 la pi\u00f9 costosa, soprattutto se si arriva a una battaglia in tribunale.<\/p>\n

La vita dopo il divorzio<\/h3>\n

Tuttavia, il pagamento delle procedure di divorzio dovrebbe essere l'ultima delle vostre preoccupazioni finanziarie. Innanzitutto, potete permettervi di dividere a met\u00e0 tutti i vostri beni immobili e i vostri soldi in banca?<\/p>\n

Se avete una casa insieme, potete permettervi di occuparvi di tutte le spese se \u00e8 stata la vostra ex moglie o marito ad andarsene?<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

On the other hand, can you afford to rent a new apartment, if you don’t have personal property?
\nAvete firmato un accordo prematrimoniale e a quali condizioni? Avete conti pensionistici comuni?<\/p>\n

What about your health insurance policy and tax returns? Is your life insurance policy in your spouse’s name? Do you have a savings account only in your name?<\/p>\n

Staying married for the money is one of the stupidest choices you can make, but regardless, you have to ask yourself whether you\u2019re financially independent enough to walk away from your spouse.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If the answer is \u201cno,\u201d start getting ready!<\/strong> Per cominciare, aprite un conto di risparmio e iniziate a costruire un futuro per voi stessi.<\/p>\n

This is especially important if you\u2019re a stay at home parent with no or poor work experience or education.
\nYou need to acquire a certain skill and get a job as soon as possible if you don\u2019t want to end up on the streets.<\/p>\n

Inoltre, procuratevi almeno una carta di credito (e monitorate regolarmente il vostro rapporto di credito) solo a vostro nome per aiutarvi a cavarvela all'inizio!<\/p>\n

Don’t forget about child support, alimony, and possibly social security benefits, which will also impact your financial situation.<\/p>\n

Se tutto questo \u00e8 troppo complesso per voi, affidatevi a un avvocato specializzato in diritto di famiglia che vi dia una consulenza legale.<\/p>\n

Sostegno da parte di altri<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

No matter what, I know that you\u2019re a self-sufficient person, even though you might not think that of yourself right now.<\/p>\n

Significa che potete affrontare il vostro processo di divorzio da soli, indipendentemente dalle circostanze.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tuttavia, sarebbe bello avere un po' di sostegno all'inizio. Avere almeno una persona su cui poter contare nel primo periodo post-divorzio \u00e8 pi\u00f9 che sufficiente.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Supporto emotivo<\/h3>\n

I\u2019ll be honest with you: it won\u2019t be easy. First and foremost, you\u2019ll go through a grieving process.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care if you\u2019re the one who initiated the divorce or who fell out of love with your spouse \u2013 parting ways with someone you planned on spending the rest of your life with is difficult as hell.<\/p>\n

There will be a lot of sleepless nights you\u2019ll spend wondering if you made the right choice. Even if you ended up despising your husband or wife, there will also be moments when you\u2019ll miss their presence.<\/p>\n

Even if you were dying to get out of your toxic relationship, there will be times when you\u2019ll miss being married. Surprisingly but true, sometimes you\u2019ll even miss having someone to argue with.<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Well, this is when you\u2019ll need your loved ones\u2019 emotional support.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll need your best friend or a sibling you can call in the middle of the night, just to hear you out and to tell you that everything will be alright.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sostegno finanziario<\/h3>\n

You may need some financial support as well. Don\u2019t worry \u2013 accepting some help from those closest to you, in the beginning, isn\u2019t the same as begging.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t make you incompetent \u2013 it just means that you\u2019ve found yourself in a new situation and that you could use a hand.<\/strong> Nevertheless, please don\u2019t rely on this money you get \u2013 you\u2019ll still need a steady income.<\/p>\n

Servizi di babysitting<\/h3>\n

Your children are your and your spouse\u2019s responsibility. However, if they live with you, you\u2019ll need someone on hand for them.<\/p>\n

After all, you\u2019re used to sharing errands and chores around the house. Now, all of a sudden, most of the responsibilities have fallen to you.<\/p>\n

So, if your parents offer to take care of the kids while you take some time off or to get them from school, thank them and accept their help. This doesn\u2019t make you a bad parent.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Salvare il matrimonio<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

The final point on your \u201cShould I get a divorce\u201d checklist should be the question: \u201cCan my il matrimonio sia salvato<\/a>?\u201d
\nC'\u00e8 ancora qualcosa da fare? C'\u00e8 speranza? Un raggio di luce che attraversa le tenebre?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Look, you shouldn\u2019t try gluing back together a matrimonio infranto<\/a> beyond repair. If you do that, you\u2019ll just make things better temporarily.<\/p>\n

Sooner or later, your marital problems will arise, and you and your spouse will end up divorcing one way or another. Or you\u2019ll grow old in a toxic marriage \u2013 and you don\u2019t know which one is worse.<\/p>\n

However, I\u2019m begging you not to take this decision impulsively. Don\u2019t choose to get a divorce just because you\u2019re angry or because you two are dealing with an issue that can be resolved.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t give up on your marriage without a proper fight. Instead, put all of your efforts into trying to bring it back to life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that you\u2019ll succeed in fixing your marriage. But at least you\u2019ll always know you did your best.<\/p>\n

Fidatevi di me: you don\u2019t want to catch yourself years from now, thinking that you could have and should have done more.<\/strong><\/p>\n

On top of everything else you\u2019ll be dealing with, you don\u2019t want to struggle with all the what ifs.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay for you to leave only when you are positive that your marriage is doomed to fail. Only then the guilt won\u2019t eat you alive, and you\u2019ll be able to move on and heal in a healthy way.<\/p>\n

Quando devo divorziare<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Have you gone through all the points on the “Should I get a divorce” checklist, but you’re still not sure what to do?<\/p>\n

Don’t worry because I’ve got you covered with these surefire segnali che indicano la fine del matrimonio<\/a> \u00e8 la cosa da fare.<\/p>\n

Get a divorce if…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Il perdono non \u00e8 un'opzione<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

No one is perfect, so it\u2019s no surprise that your spouse did something to hurt your feelings.<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie to you: even if you two work things out, there will always be times where they\u2019ll do you harm, sometimes without even being aware of it.<\/p>\n

However, there are some situations where you simply can\u2019t forgive them, as hard as you try.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t matter whether you were involved with a narcissist, if they were unfaithful, ha infranto la tua fiducia<\/a>, abandoned you when you needed them the most, or didn\u2019t meet your expectations.<\/p>\n

The point is that YOU feel like you can\u2019t forget what they\u2019ve done. Deep down, you know that this event will forever remain a barrier between you two.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In that case, you have no other option but to file for a divorce. After all, you shouldn\u2019t spend the rest of your life with someone you feel so much resentment for.<\/p>\n

Please, don\u2019t feel guilty for doing so. You listened to your gut and did the right thing!<\/p>\n

You\u2019re ready to be self-sufficient<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Potete essere indipendente<\/a> and married, but you can\u2019t be codependent and divorced.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure you see my point: nobody is telling you to get a divorce just because you can make it on your own. But on the other hand, you MUST be self-sufficient to get a divorce.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Indipendenza finanziaria<\/h3>\n

I know this sounds pretty harsh, but it is how things are, whether you like it or not. From now on, you\u2019ll have your own household that you need to support.<\/p>\n

If the kids are staying with you, you\u2019ll be getting child support. If you don\u2019t have a job and your ex-spouse is financially stable, the court will probably order them to give you spousal support as well.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, gli alimenti o qualsiasi tipo di sostegno finanziario non sono qualcosa su cui fare affidamento. Dovete essere finanziariamente indipendenti per fare questo grande passo.<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Quindi, esaminate i vostri documenti finanziari e i rapporti di credito e vedete a che punto siete!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Indipendenza emotiva<\/h3>\n

Another form of self-sufficiency you have to acquire is an emotional one. Forget about turning to the other side of the bed, waiting for a hug whenever you\u2019re feeling miserable at night.<\/p>\n

Dimenticatevi di chiamare il vostro ex marito o moglie ogni volta che avete bisogno di qualcuno che ascolti i vostri problemi e sia la vostra spalla su cui piangere.<\/p>\n

The harsh truth is that you\u2019re not only losing a husband or a wife, you\u2019re also losing a friend and a family member.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re ready to be self-sufficient in all of these ways \u2013 you\u2019re good to go. If not, maybe you should work on your independence first before you leave your marriage.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is no \u201cwe\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Being married means being a part of a union. One of the reasons you say \u201cI do\u201d is not to go through life alone anymore and to be a part of a two-person team.<\/p>\n

Well, one of the signs that it\u2019s time to file for a divorce is that there is no more \u201cwe\u201d in your marriage. If you\u2019ve experienced something similar, you\u2019ll know exactly what I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n

When this happens, you feel like you\u2019re da solo in una relazione<\/a>.<\/strong> You can\u2019t rely on your partner, they don\u2019t give you any emotional support, and you don\u2019t see them as your plus one.<\/p>\n

Prendono tutte le decisioni della loro vita senza coinvolgervi e voi finite per sentirvi il loro coinquilino invece che il loro coniuge.<\/p>\n

Se avete dei figli, vi sentite come un genitore single. Il vostro coniuge non partecipa alla loro educazione e non d\u00e0 loro abbastanza attenzione.<\/p>\n

Of course, this can change in some cases \u2013 it\u2019s just necessary for both of you to put in some extra effort. The first step is to talk things through with your loved one and tell them that this is bothering you.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re both interested in bettering your marriage, you\u2019ll both change, and you\u2019ll become an item once again. However, if the other party doesn\u2019t mind living like this, you have no other choice but to pack your bags.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It turns out that you\u2019re pretty much alone either way, so why shouldn\u2019t you be officially single?<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll be happier alone<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

It has already been established that your happiness has to come first. Of course, this doesn\u2019t apply to the situation where you have kids because you\u2019re responsible for their well being.<\/p>\n

However, even then, they\u2019re more likely to have a better quality of life next to two satisfied parents who live apart than to grow up in a toxic environment next to two unhappy caregivers.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, if you think that you\u2019ll be pi\u00f9 felici da soli<\/a> di quanto non lo siate con il vostro partner, non c'\u00e8 molto da dire al riguardo. Tutto \u00e8 chiaro: la vita da single \u00e8 la vostra ricerca della felicit\u00e0.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Once again, I\u2019m not talking about a phase here. We all have times when we feel miserable and see our life as an utter disaster.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about when you know for sure that you\u2019re better off without this person<\/a>. In questo caso, lasciare il matrimonio significa uscire dalla propria zona di comfort.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, fare un salto nell'ignoto vi offre almeno la possibilit\u00e0 di essere felici. D'altra parte, se si rimane sposati, ci si priva per sempre di questa possibilit\u00e0.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Non c'\u00e8 pi\u00f9 amore<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

It\u2019s one thing if la scintilla<\/a> \u00e8 svanita tra voi e il vostro partner. Molti non lo ammetteranno mai, ma quasi tutte le coppie entrano in una fase in cui la passione non si trova pi\u00f9.<\/p>\n

Questa situazione lascia la possibilit\u00e0 di recuperare. Dovete lavorare sul vostro legame e fare del vostro meglio per migliorare la vostra relazione.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, if you have no doubt that you\u2019ve stopped loving your partner and that your love cannot be revived, you shouldn\u2019t force yourself into spending the rest of your life next to that person.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This goes both ways \u2013 if you see that they\u2019ve become indifferent, you shouldn\u2019t implorare il loro amore<\/a>.<\/strong>
\nPunirsi con una vita senza amore \u00e8 una condanna a morte, soprattutto se uno dei due prova dei sentimenti per qualcun altro.<\/p>\n

Your marriage can\u2019t be saved<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve tried the last item on your \u201cShould I get a divorce\u201d checklist \u2013 you did your best to revive your marriage.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve gone to marriage counseling, you and your spouse had multiple mature conversations, and you put effort into changing some things about your relationship.<\/p>\n

Ma despite all of your attempts, now you see that your marriage cannot be saved. You gave your best and more, but your efforts weren\u2019t fruitful.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, what do you do? Well, you ask for a divorce because you’re left with no other option.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re psychologically prepared for the divorce<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Finally, you should only get a divorce when you\u2019re mentally prepared for it. Non si tratta di una decisione impulsiva, ma di una decisione che richiede molta attenzione. sovrappensiero<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s exactly what you\u2019ve done: you thought things through more than once, you\u2019ve put all the ups and downs on a scale, and you accepted the fact that parting ways is the only reasonable solution.<\/p>\n

Essere pronti per il divorzio significa molto di pi\u00f9 che trovare un lavoro stabile, trovare una casa e organizzare la propria vita in modo da poterla gestire da soli.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Significa essere preparati anche mentalmente.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It means that you\u2019ve come to terms with the idea that you\u2019re losing someone you thought was the love of your life and that you understand that this is the end, not a cry for attention or a warning for them to change.<\/p>\n

It means that you know that you\u2019ll be going through a rough patch and that you\u2019re strong enough to handle all the emotions that will appear, but that you won\u2019t allow them to shake your decision.<\/p>\n

Moreover, being ready to get a divorce means that you have no second thoughts about your decision. You\u2019re convinced this is the only right thing to do, and you plan on sticking to it forever.<\/p>\n

Inoltre, significa essere abbastanza maturi da capire che queste cose accadono, invece di vedere il divorzio come una sconfitta personale.<\/p>\n

Vedi anche: 15 idee per feste di divorzio per dare forza e prepararsi alla nuova vita<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

6 Dos and Don\u2019ts Of Post-Divorce Etiquette<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Your journey isn\u2019t over once you decide to get a divorce. Instead, it only begins now for real, even though you\u2019ve made a huge step.<\/p>\n

Ecco alcuni suggerimenti e trucchi per aiutarvi a sopravvivere al periodo post-divorzio nel modo pi\u00f9 semplice possibile.<\/p>\n

Datevi il tempo di elaborare il lutto<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Divorziare significa perdere probabilmente la persona pi\u00f9 importante della propria vita. S\u00ec, they\u2019re alive<\/a>, but you\u2019re still processing a loss.<\/p>\n

Therefore, there is nothing shameful in grieving it. Sadly, some people simply don\u2019t take the time to allow themselves to contemplate their sadness.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not advising you to drown in it, but you need to give yourself time to grieve.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know that you\u2019re up to your neck in paperwork, you\u2019re overly worried about the kids and the finances, and you\u2019re trying to get used to your new life rhythm \u2013 especially in the first year after the divorce.<\/p>\n

A causa di tutto ci\u00f2, non avete energie per pensare a ci\u00f2 che vi \u00e8 successo. Lasciate la gestione delle vostre emozioni per un secondo momento, perch\u00e9 ora avete cose migliori da fare.<\/p>\n

So, what happens when that \u201clater\u201d arrives? Well, your deeply rooted traumas appear on the surface and, in most cases, cause serious damage to your mental health.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I\u2019m begging you not to bury things under the carpet. Face your demons as it\u2019s the only way to chase them away permanently.<\/p>\n

Lasciare andare il risentimento<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Obviously, you had some rough times in your marriage \u2013 otherwise, your \u201cShould I get a divorce\u201d checklist wouldn\u2019t have been completed.<\/p>\n

However, you\u2019re out of your relationship, and there is absolutely no point in going back to it in your head.
\nEasier said than done, I know. But you do have to let go of the resentment that\u2019s been eating you alive.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t matter if you didn\u2019t get the apology you wanted so badly. It\u2019s okay if you can\u2019t forgive<\/a> il male che il vostro coniuge vi ha causato. Sar\u00e0 sufficiente lasciare tutto nel passato.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t pretend that your wounds are non-existent, but don\u2019t pick on them constantly, either. Otherwise, they\u2019ll never turn into scars.<\/p>\n

Essere maturi<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

You\u2019re a grown-up who\u2019s been through a serious situation. Well, this is not the time to start acting immaturely.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that you necessarily have to remain friends with your ex. However, talking trash about them on social media or playing giochi mentali tossici<\/a> non \u00e8 un'opzione.<\/p>\n

Whatever you two do, please don\u2019t be childish. After all, you spent so much time together and shared so many beautiful memories. So please, honor that if you have any respect left for each other.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t allow the divorce to ruin your self-image<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

Being a divorcee doesn\u2019t make you any less valuable, nor does it decrease your worth on the mercato degli incontri<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I have to warn you: you\u2019ll run into many people who\u2019ll feel sorry for you once they hear that your marriage has failed.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll have to get used to appearing at events and family gatherings on your own. You\u2019ll meet potential girls or guys who\u2019ll look down on your romantic history.<\/p>\n

However, neither of these things should ruin your self-image. In fact, it\u2019s your job not to allow this to happen.<\/p>\n

Just because your marriage didn\u2019t work out, it doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re not worthy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re non amabile<\/a>, that you\u2019ll never find happiness, or that you\u2019re not good enough for someone to grow old with you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let the kids suffer<\/h2>\n

\"madre<\/p>\n

This one is probably the most significant: whatever happened between you and your spouse, the kids shouldn\u2019t suffer the consequences of your actions or decisions.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s be honest: they\u2019ll suffer enough that their family broke apart in a way, so there is no need for you and your ex-wife or husband to make things even more difficult.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whether you like it or not, if you have kids with someone, you two will be connected in a way for the rest of your lives. You\u2019re still co-genitori<\/a>nonostante non sia pi\u00f9 sposato.<\/p>\n

So, please, be civilized about it. Make sure your kids\u2019 benefits always come first.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t talk trash about each other and don\u2019t compete for their attention. Instead, be united in raising your children, even if you couldn\u2019t work as a team in other segments of your lives.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t repeat your mistakes<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Finally, learn from your marriage and divorce. This is not a curse \u2013 it\u2019s a valuable and una lezione difficile<\/a> per non ripetere gli errori.<\/p>\n

Dopo un po' di tempo, provate ad analizzare il vostro matrimonio da spettatori. Cercate di capire cosa \u00e8 andato storto con il vostro ex marito o moglie e assicuratevi che non accada mai nulla di simile nelle vostre relazioni future.<\/p>\n

Pensieri finali<\/h2>\n

The \u201cShould I get a divorce\u201d checklist is not here to tell you what to do with your life. Instead, its job is to help you and to direct you towards the right decision.<\/p>\n

It should help you weigh all the pros and cons of your marriage. To help you see whether it\u2019s worth saving or if it\u2019s safe to give up on it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In realt\u00e0, questo elenco \u00e8 un'analisi approfondita del vostro matrimonio. Vi offre la possibilit\u00e0 di sviscerarlo da un punto di vista diverso per poter fare la scelta giusta.<\/p>\n

Qualunque cosa tu faccia, spero che tu prenda la decisione migliore per tutta la tua famiglia. Buona fortuna!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Writing down a “Should I get a divorce” checklist might be one of the best ways to make the right call regarding your marriage. This way, you’ll put everything on a piece of paper, and you’ll get an impartial perspective on your situation. Don’t worry: having second thoughts about ending your marriage is perfectly normal….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":114600,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29623],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-114571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29623,"label":"marriage"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/The-Ultimate-Should-I-Get-A-Divorce-Checklist-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29623,"name":"marriage","slug":"marriage","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29623,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Establishing a happy marriage is not an easy task. Learning how to recognize red flags and deal with issues will help you make your marriage successful.","parent":29620,"count":474,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29623,"category_count":474,"category_description":"Establishing a happy marriage is not an easy task. Learning how to recognize red flags and deal with issues will help you make your marriage successful.","cat_name":"marriage","category_nicename":"marriage","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114571\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/114600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}