When you have an ambivalent attachment style, you’re taught to be unsure of love.<\/p>\n
Non avete mai ricevuto il sostegno, l'accettazione e la sicurezza dalle vostre prime figure di attaccamento da bambini, e siete cresciuti costruendo legami malsani con altre persone anche nella vostra vita adulta.<\/p>\n
Per quanto possa sembrare spaventoso, la buona notizia \u00e8 che si pu\u00f2 lavorare su di esso. Tuttavia, prima di ogni altra cosa, \u00e8 necessario diagnosticare a se stessi uno stile di attaccamento ambivalente.<\/p>\n
Dopodich\u00e9, si pu\u00f2 scavare a fondo per individuare le cause e concentrarsi sui meccanismi di coping pi\u00f9 sani.<\/p>\n
Teoria dell'attaccamento<\/h2>\n
![\"uomo](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-walking-on-field.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
La teoria dell'attaccamento \u00e8 stata introdotta da John Bowlby. In poche parole, il suo studio ruota attorno al legame tra persone diverse e al modo in cui tutti noi ci leghiamo agli altri.<\/p>\n
Il punto fondamentale di questa teoria \u00e8 che lo stile di attaccamento infantile ha un impatto su tutte le nostre relazioni adulte.<\/p>\n
Bowlby sostiene che tutti noi trascorriamo l'intera vita seguendo i modelli di attaccamento che abbiamo adottato da piccoli.<\/p>\n
Secondo questa teoria, esistono quattro tipi di attaccamento:<\/p>\n
- \n
- stile di fissaggio sicuro<\/li>\n
- stile di attaccamento ansioso-preoccupato<\/li>\n
- stile di attaccamento evitante-dispregiativo<\/a><\/li>\n
- stile di attaccamento timoroso\/insicuro-evitante\/disorganizzato<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Mary Ainsworth Strana situazione<\/em><\/h3>\n
Mary Ainsworth was one of John Bowlby’s closest colleagues.<\/p>\n
She’s best known for the procedure she developed called Strana situazione<\/em> \u2013 a set of methods she used to analyze and investigate attachment security.<\/p>\n
Anche se l'autore si occupa di neonati e bambini piccoli, questa procedura mostra una connessione indissolubile tra i modelli di attaccamento dell'infanzia e quelli attuali, da adulti.<\/p>\n
8 modelli comportamentali tipici dell'attaccamento ambivalente<\/h2>\n
Tutti coloro che soffrono di questo disturbo dell'attaccamento mostrano un comportamento piuttosto simile.<\/p>\n
You’re preoccupied with your interpersonal relationships, insecurities overwhelm you, and you’re overwhelmed with fear of abandonment. Sound familiar?<\/p>\n
Incapacit\u00e0 di controllare i sentimenti<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-sitting-indoor.jpg\")
<\/p>\nUno dei primi sintomi di questo stile di attaccamento \u00e8 il fatto che il vostro il cuore \u00e8 quello che ti guida<\/a> attraverso la vita, a prescindere da tutto. Come suona romantico, penserete.<\/p>\n
Well, actually, no. It\u2019s one thing if you put your emotions above the ratio. After all, we\u2019ve all been there at one point. We\u2019ve all done something that wasn\u2019t a good idea just because our heart told us to.<\/p>\n
Tuttavia, con voi le cose sono molto pi\u00f9 complesse e gravi. You see, the number one problem is that you have no control over your emotions whatsoever \u2013 it always happens the other way around.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Yes, it\u2019s great loving someone with your entire heart. It\u2019s amazing to feel joy with every atom of your being.<\/p>\n
But what happens when the negative side of your emotions kicks in? It\u2019s not so great to be overwhelmed with sadness, is it?<\/p>\n
You would like to be able to take control of your feelings in the moments when you can\u2019t function properly due to your overthinking.<\/p>\n
Questo vi causa molti problemi nella vita. Le persone non solo vi percepiscono come troppo emotivi, ma avete anche continui sbalzi d'umore.<\/p>\n
Practically any little thing can throw you into despair. You\u2019re anything but emotionally stable and balanced, whether you like to admit it or not.<\/p>\n
Bisogno di intimit\u00e0<\/h2>\n
![\"uomo](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-standing-in-forest.jpg\")
<\/p>\nQuando la maggior parte delle persone sente la parola intimit\u00e0<\/a>pensano a qualche azione sotto le lenzuola. La verit\u00e0 \u00e8 che l'intimit\u00e0 \u00e8 molto pi\u00f9 di questo.<\/p>\n
Se avete questo tipo di stile di attaccamento insicuro, desiderate l'intimit\u00e0, ma non solo quella fisica.<\/p>\n
Instead, you have this urge to form a deep bond with another person \u2013 the urge to connect with your special someone on a spiritual level.<\/strong><\/p>\n
That sounds great when you\u2019re already in an intimate relationship. However, the problem is that you expect this intimacy to be built right away.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s like you don\u2019t get it that people need time to open up to you and to welcome you into their hearts.<\/p>\n
Besides, as much as you try, you can\u2019t form a valuable connection with just about anyone who comes into your life.<\/p>\n
Il punto fondamentale \u00e8 che raramente si ama una persona specifica. Invece, a causa del disturbo di attaccamento, si ama il potenziale che ha.<\/strong><\/p>\n
You see them as someone who could become \u201cyour person.\u201d As someone who will fill in the void inside your soul.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Questo tipo di comportamento di attaccamento \u00e8 uno dei sintomi pi\u00f9 frequenti dell'attaccamento ambivalente negli adulti.<\/p>\n
Vedete, non avete mai sentito questo legame genuino con le vostre figure di riferimento quando eravate bambini, e si vede.<\/p>\n
So, now that you\u2019re all grown up, you\u2019re doing everything in your power to find that missing piece. Well, the problem arises when you look for it in all the wrong places and people.<\/p>\n
Paura dell'abbandono<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-on-the-street-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nTra le altre cose, avete radicato profondamente trauma da abbandono<\/a>. Ci\u00f2 \u00e8 particolarmente comune per i bambini piccoli che sono stati separati dai genitori o da chi si prende cura di loro in tenera et\u00e0.<\/p>\n
You assume that everyone will treat you the way they did. You can\u2019t build a healthy romantic relationship as your fears block you and prevent you from thinking straight.<\/p>\n
The moment you notice that you\u2019re growing fond of someone (which is not rare), you also get all paranoid.<\/p>\n
Invece di godervi i momenti felici con qualcuno che amate e che vi ama a sua volta, i pensieri negativi prendono il sopravvento.<\/p>\n
You immediately think of different scenarios where everything will go wrong. Of course, in all of those situations, you\u2019re the one who is being left behind.<\/p>\n
You start changing yourself in an attempt to keep this person next to you. You\u2019re 100% positive that you\u2019ll be abandoned sooner or later.<\/p>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-touching-her-face.jpg\")
<\/p>\nAnd who could function properly under this kind of pressure? That\u2019s right, nobody, so it\u2019s no wonder that you start feeling dissatisfied.<\/p>\n
Dopo tutto, vivete nella costante paura di fallire. Anche se tutto va alla grande, cercate bandiere rosse inesistenti.<\/p>\n
I get it: you think that this is the way to prevent the worst possible scenario from happening. You\u2019re overly cautious, thanks to everything painful you\u2019ve experienced during your early childhood.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re actually trying to spot the signs of abandonment in time so that you can act on them right away, like that would make any difference.<\/strong><\/p>\n
However, instead of keeping your loved one close to you, your attachment disorder just chases them away. You can\u2019t seem to relax, and you turn into a naggy and bitter person who always expects the worst.<\/p>\n
Essere colui che ama di pi\u00f9<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-hugging-man-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nFor as long as you can remember, you\u2019ve been colui che ama di pi\u00f9<\/a>. This is not just how things roll in your love life \u2013 you\u2019re like this with your friends and family members as well.<\/p>\n
Comprensibilmente, questo vi frustra. Dopo tutto, a chi piacerebbe sentirsi non amato e non desiderato?
\nYou\u2019re the one making all the sacrifices and keeping all of your interpersonal relationships from breaking.<\/p>\nChi si impegna al massimo, mentre l'altra parte vi d\u00e0 per scontati.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re the one who is devastated after the split while everyone else moves on with their lives as if nothing happened.<\/p>\n
Questo \u00e8 un altro segno di ambivalenza, stile di attaccamento ansioso.<\/a> Vi aggrappate all'oggetto del vostro affetto in modo cos\u00ec stretto che diventa l'unica ragione della vostra esistenza.<\/strong><\/p>\n
However, even if they love you back, they can never give you as much as you think you deserve. Well, the point is that they shouldn\u2019t.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Not only that: you shouldn\u2019t be so focused on them either. You can\u2019t love anyone else more than you love yourself.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s the key to your problem. You only look at things from your perspective, and you only validate the love you give to people as enough.<\/p>\n
Incapacit\u00e0 di accettare un rifiuto<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-near-gate.jpg\")
<\/p>\nWe all get rejected from time to time. Sometimes, the girl or a guy we\u2019re into simply doesn\u2019t love us back<\/a>.<\/p>\n
We get fired from that awesome job we liked so much. Or someone we saw as a potential friend doesn\u2019t show any interest in hanging out with us.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not comfortable \u2013 I won\u2019t lie to you. You can be the most confident person in the world, but something like this will probably mess with your head and give you low self-esteem.<\/p>\n
The bottom line is that rejection sucks. It sucks caring for someone who doesn\u2019t care for you or having the feeling that you\u2019re somewhere you\u2019re clearly not wanted.<\/p>\n
Tuttavia, quando questo accade a persone con altri stili di attaccamento, la maggior parte di loro lo accetta, in un modo o nell'altro. Si sentono male per un po', ma poi si rassegnano e vanno avanti con la loro vita.<\/strong><\/p>\n
But not you. You\u2019re practically incapable of taking rejection.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Don\u2019t worry: you have no narcissistic tendencies. It\u2019s not that you can\u2019t believe that someone doesn\u2019t want a God-given you in their life.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s actually completely the opposite. It doesn\u2019t matter much where this rejection comes from \u2013 you always see it as the end of the world.<\/p>\n
The problem is that you take it personally. You can\u2019t grasp the idea that the object of your affection maybe doesn\u2019t want a relationship right now.<\/p>\n
No, it has to be something wrong with you. You\u2019re unlovable and not good enough \u2013 there is no other explanation, right?<\/p>\n
Besides, even if they don\u2019t like you, it doesn’t mean that you\u2019re not worthy. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves, and the same way this person didn\u2019t pick you, someone else will.<\/p>\n
Dipendenza dalle relazioni<\/h2>\n
![\"uomo](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-sitting-near-water-3.jpg\")
<\/p>\nIt doesn\u2019t matter how much you love the person next to you: you should always remain an individual for yourself. You can be in love with someone, but you can never become their girlfriend or boyfriend only.<\/p>\n
At least, this is how things should be. Sadly, it\u2019s not how you work.<\/p>\n
Invece, ogni volta che ci si avvicina a un nuovo ragazzo o a una nuova ragazza (o addirittura si trova un nuovo amico), ci si affeziona immediatamente in modo incredibile a loro.<\/p>\n
Non solo: si diventa emotivamente dipendenti da questa persona come se tutto il mondo girasse intorno a lei.<\/p>\n
In fact, that\u2019s exactly what\u2019s going on: they become the center of your universe. You forget about everything and everyone else and only have eyes for them.<\/p>\n
Questo \u00e8 pi\u00f9 che infatuazione o amore<\/a>e spesso si trasforma in ossessione. Prima che ve ne rendiate conto, non riuscite pi\u00f9 a immaginare la vostra vita senza di loro al vostro fianco.<\/strong><\/p>\n
You\u2019re not in this relationship because you want it; you\u2019re here because you need this person the same way you need air to breathe. Of course, once you go your separate ways, you\u2019re completely lost.<\/p>\n
La vostra vita non ha senso e fate fatica a tornare alle vostre vecchie abitudini. Perch\u00e9? Perch\u00e9 non esistete pi\u00f9 al di fuori della vostra relazione.<\/p>\n
Oltre a non essere salutare, d\u00e0 all'altra persona il via libera per trattarvi come meglio crede.<\/p>\n
Continuate a dimostrare loro che non possono fare nulla perch\u00e9 voi smettiate di amarli, e prima o poi questo vi si ritorce contro.<\/p>\n
Il costante bisogno di rassicurazione<\/h2>\n
![\"uomo](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-sitting-on-bench-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nLet\u2019s be honest: nothing is ever good enough for you. No matter what your loved ones do to prove their love, you won\u2019t believe them.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll always look for clues of their indifference or infidelity. You\u2019ll never be satisfied with the attention and care you\u2019re getting because you\u2019ll never be sure about it.<\/p>\n
Tutto ci\u00f2 pu\u00f2 essere imputato allo stile di attaccamento del bambino. Your primary caregivers didn’t meet your needs as an infant, and now you’re the one paying the price.<\/strong><\/p>\n
It\u2019s as though you can\u2019t believe that someone really could love you.<\/strong> They probably have a hidden agenda, so you\u2019re on a constant lookout, expecting them to backstab you.<\/p>\n
This is another consequence of your unhealthy early childhood. Without even being aware of it, you\u2019ve developed some serious trust issues that manifest in all of your relationships.<\/p>\n
Ci\u00f2 di cui avete bisogno \u00e8 la rassicurazione. Avete bisogno di un partner che passi tutto il suo tempo a dirvi che you\u2019re good enough<\/a>, that you\u2019re the only one for them, and that they love you.<\/p>\n
However, even if you get this, it won\u2019t put an end to your misery. Even in this case, there will be times when you\u2019ll, if nothing else, doubt their honesty.<\/p>\n
Autocolpevolizzazione<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-leaning-on-sofa-2.jpg\")
<\/p>\nUn altro modello di attaccamento ambivalente \u00e8 l'autocolpevolizzazione. Quando succede qualcosa di brutto nella vostra vita, in qualche modo riuscite a farvi passare per il cattivo.<\/p>\n
Si prova senso di colpa e vergogna per non aver amore sufficiente<\/a>. Vi sentite in colpa per il fatto che non vi trattano bene e vi incolpate di tutto ci\u00f2 che sta andando a rotoli in tutte le vostre relazioni.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Do you understand how absurd this is? Simply put, if someone broke your heart, you\u2019d end up blaming your heart for being in their way.<\/p>\n
Vedi anche: Attaccamento Ansioso Preoccupato: Superare l'insicurezza<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
3 cause non cos\u00ec ovvie di attaccamento ansioso e ambivalente<\/h2>\n
How do you adopt an ambivalent attachment? Do you just wake up one morning and decide it’s time for a somewhat different style of attachment?<\/p>\n
Well, you don’t. Everything going on now is a consequence of your painful childhood experiences. Learn what triggered your ambivalent attachment style, and only then will you be able to cope with it.<\/p>\n
Relazioni di attaccamento interrotte nell'infanzia<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-outdoor.jpg\")
<\/p>\nSecondo la ricerca sull'attaccamento, la prima e pi\u00f9 significativa causa dell'attaccamento ansioso ambivalente negli adulti sono le esperienze infantili e lo sviluppo infantile.<\/p>\n
Quando si ha una relazione di attaccamento interrotta durante l'infanzia, \u00e8 probabile che da quel momento in poi tutto vada a rotoli.<\/p>\n
Infatti, it\u2019s the parenting style your primary caregivers exposed you to and the infant attachment style you had that affect all of your relationships in the future.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Secondo la psicologia dello sviluppo, I genitori che educano i figli in modo incoerente sono la prima causa di un attaccamento precoce non sano.<\/strong> Che cosa significa?<\/p>\n
Well, when you were a kid, you never knew what to expect from your first attachment figures \u2013 your parents.<\/p>\n
Di conseguenza, questo vi ha aiutato a diventare un adulto insicuro<\/a>e ha avuto un impatto su tutte le vostre relazioni adulte. Ci sono stati momenti in cui i vostri assistenti principali vi hanno dato tutto l'amore del mondo.<\/p>\n
However, despite that, they didn\u2019t give you emotional support when you needed it or neglected you at some other point.<\/p>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-sitting-on-floor-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nBasically, you spent most of your early years living in fear. You never knew whether your parents would be 100% there for you the next day or if they\u2019d ignore you.<\/p>\n
In questo modo, your needs were never fully met. I\u2019m not talking about food and shelter here: I\u2019m talking about your emotional needs and mental well-being.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Non siete mai riusciti a creare un vero legame con i vostri assistenti. Non avete mai avuto la sensazione che fossero emotivamente legati a voi fino in fondo.<\/p>\n
Neanche loro si sono mai dedicati completamente alla tua crescita. Cos\u00ec, hai continuato a sentirti irrilevante.<\/p>\n
They were people you couldn\u2019t rely on, and people you couldn\u2019t trust your life with. Even though you were just a little child, this has stuck with you.<\/p>\n
Also, there is a possibility that you had to be the parent in your story, at least on an emotional level. At the same time, you’ve dealt with genitori che si fanno luce con il gas<\/a> who didn’t see anything wrong in your upbringing.<\/p>\n
Your caregivers weren\u2019t mature enough to act as healthy attachment figures, and they asked for emotional support from you instead of it being the other way around.<\/p>\n
Quindi, eccoci qui. Vi rendete conto di come ognuno di questi modelli comportamentali rispecchi il vostro comportamento di oggi?<\/p>\n
Do you understand that you\u2019ve spent your entire adulthood looking for the missing pieces of your childhood?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Diversi tipi di abuso<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-leaning-on-fence.jpg\")
<\/p>\nAmbivalent attachment is also quite frequent in victims of abuse. Bear in mind that I\u2019m not only talking about physical abuse here but of all other types of abuse as well, including abuso emotivo<\/a>.<\/p>\n
When you are abused as a little child, you can\u2019t grasp the fact that your parents are bad.<\/p>\n
Queste persone sono la vostra unica base sicura da questo mondo duro e le amate con tutto il cuore, nonostante siano violente o vi facciano del male.<\/p>\n
Ironically, it becomes easier for you to blame yourself for this situation. Besides, they kept convincing you that you were the bad one and that you\u2019re guilty of this abuse.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Beh, quanto pu\u00f2 essere difficile credergli?<\/strong> Essi manipolato<\/a> per togliersi la colpa di dosso.<\/p>\n
When someone (especially if that someone is your parent) keeps telling you that you\u2019re not worthy and good for nothing, you\u2019ll adopt this opinion after a while.<\/p>\n
Do you see where I\u2019m going? Now that you\u2019re a mature person, you still stick to these beliefs.<\/p>\n
Pensate ancora di non valere abbastanza e avete ancora seri problemi di auto-colpevolizzazione. Ebbene, i vostri caregiver sono responsabili del vostro stato d'animo.<\/p>\n
Separazione dai genitori<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-near-door.jpg\")
<\/p>\nIs it worse to have a parent who is physically present but neglects their child’s needs or one who vanishes from your life for good? Well, it\u2019s a dead heat.<\/p>\n
Ma ci\u00f2 che \u00e8 certo \u00e8 che entrambe le cose lasciano conseguenze permanenti sui vostri comportamenti di attaccamento e salute mentale<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Both of these types of parents disregard an infant’s needs from early childhood, one way or another.<\/p>\n
Pertanto, una delle cause di uno stile di attaccamento ansioso e insicuro pu\u00f2 essere la separazione precoce dai genitori.<\/p>\n
Se le persone che vi hanno messo al mondo vi hanno abbandonato, cosa potete aspettarvi dagli altri?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Se vi hanno pugnalato alle spalle e vi hanno lasciato soli, perch\u00e9 il vostro partner romantico dovrebbe comportarsi diversamente?<\/strong><\/p>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-touching-her-hair.jpg\")
<\/p>\nYou might not be aware of it, but this is the logic behind your patterns of attachment. Your separation from your caregivers is probably the most painful traumatic experience you\u2019ve had to go through.<\/p>\n
So, it\u2019s perfectly natural that you devoted the rest of your life to not allowing it to happen again.<\/p>\n
You think you couldn\u2019t stand anyone you love walk away from you ever again, so you\u2019re doing everything in your power not to let them go.<\/p>\n
Even though this is reasonable, it\u2019s anything but healthy. You see, you can\u2019t glue yourself to people.<\/p>\n
Besides, do you really want someone to stick around just because you\u2019re forcing them to stay? Or would you want them to stay with you because there is nowhere they would rather be?<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t lie to you: people will come and go. And the harsh truth is that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.<\/p>\n
Tuttavia, ci\u00f2 che potete influenzare \u00e8 la vostra reazione. Potete continuare a osservare ogni partenza come la fine del mondo, oppure accettarla come parte della vita.<\/p>\n
5 modi rivoluzionari per gestire uno stile di attaccamento ambivalente<\/h2>\n
Per vostra fortuna, gli stili di attacco non sono scolpiti nella pietra. Cambiare l'intero sistema di attacco \u00e8 difficile, ma si pu\u00f2 fare.<\/p>\n
Tuttavia, prima di essere pronti per qualsiasi cambiamento cruciale, dovete imparare a gestire lo stile che avete gi\u00e0.<\/p>\n
Praticare la consapevolezza<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-meditating.jpg\")
<\/p>\nYou can\u2019t control your reactions if you\u2019re not even aware of them. In this case, you act impulsively, and you often find yourself in a situation where you can\u2019t explain your behavior.<\/p>\n
Ecco perch\u00e9 dovreste praticare la consapevolezza<\/a>: una forma di meditazione che aiuta a diventare pienamente consapevoli di se stessi, dei propri sensi e delle proprie sensazioni in ogni momento.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Basically, this means listening to yourself and your inner voices. It means paying attention to your deepest thoughts and feelings, without running away from them just because you don\u2019t like them.<\/p>\n
Questo \u00e8 l'unico modo per scavare in profondit\u00e0 nella vostra anima e, alla fine, cambiare i vostri modelli comportamentali.<\/p>\n
Dare un senso al passato<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-sitting-on-rock-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nPer anni avete fatto finta che i vostri traumi infantili non fossero mai esistiti. Era pi\u00f9 facile per voi non affrontare l'inferno a cui siete a malapena sopravvissuti.<\/p>\n
Nevertheless, I hate to break it to you, but every piece of attachment research will tell you that you\u2019ll have to make sense of the past.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll have to look it straight in the eyes and show it that you\u2019re no longer afraid.<\/strong><\/p>\n
There is no point in running away from your demons because they\u2019re about to get you. Also, there is no point in fixing the consequences if you haven\u2019t tackled the source first.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Questo \u00e8 esattamente ci\u00f2 che dovreste fare: fare i conti con ci\u00f2 che ha causato lo sviluppo di questo stile di attaccamento. Cosa vi ha ferito cos\u00ec tanto nell'infanzia da influenzarvi ancora cos\u00ec gravemente?<\/p>\n
I know that admitting your parents\u2019 mistakes is difficult. No matter what they did to you, you still idealize them and see them as better than they are.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong: I\u2019m not advising you to confront them \u2013 especially if you have no relationship whatsoever. I\u2019m begging you to confront your past hurts they\u2019ve caused.<\/p>\n
Affrontate il bambino piangente che eravate una volta. Dite loro che tutto andr\u00e0 bene e curate il loro piccolo cuore spezzato.<\/p>\n
Accept the fact that you didn\u2019t have the happiest childhood and that there was nothing you could have done about it, and the fact that you can\u2019t erase your past and that there is absolutely no point in running away from it.<\/p>\n
Potete imparare da esso. Potete negargli l'accesso al vostro presente e al vostro futuro.<\/p>\n
Riconoscere i propri fattori scatenanti<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-on-the-bridge.jpg\")
<\/p>\nIt\u2019s crucial to know yourself to the core. The part of this is self-awareness: a process in which you analyze your entire personality and come to terms with the person you really are.<\/p>\n
Anche se la maggior parte degli attaccanti ambivalenti condivide la maggior parte dei sintomi dello stile di attaccamento, ognuno reagisce in modo diverso in situazioni diverse. Perch\u00e9? Perch\u00e9 non tutti hanno lo stesso fattore scatenante.<\/p>\n
Well, if you plan on changing your behavior, it\u2019s finally time for you to recognize your triggers.<\/p>\n
Cosa vi rende pi\u00f9 insicuri? Cosa vi spaventa? Cosa risveglia in voi il vulcano dello stile di attaccamento insicuro e ansioso?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Once you get all of these answers, you\u2019ll stay away from potentially dangerous situations.<\/p>\n
Not only that: you’ll also learn to recognize these risky moments. You\u2019ll learn how to bring yourself back to reality every time you start feeling that the symptoms of your attachment style are taking control over you.<\/p>\n
Relazioni sane con uno stile di attaccamento sicuro<\/h2>\n
![\"uomo](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-standing-on-dock.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEven though the entire self-healing process always relies on one person and one person alone \u2013 yourself, your choice of relationship partners plays a significant role in coping with your attachment style as well.<\/p>\n
\u00c8 qui che dovreste trovare la vostra base sicura e il vostro rifugio.<\/p>\n
La pi\u00f9 grande delle catastrofi sarebbe quella di scegliere qualcuno con uno stile di attaccamento evitante<\/a> o qualcuno che ha a che fare con i vostri stessi problemi di attaccamento.<\/p>\n
Just imagine how toxic that relationship would be if you\u2019re both insecure and have abandonment and trust issues.<\/p>\n
While I\u2019m telling you to discriminate against those similar to you, la scelta migliore per voi sarebbe una persona con uno stile di attaccamento sicuro.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u00c8 la persona che pu\u00f2 guidarvi nel processo di regolazione delle vostre emozioni e della vostra salute mentale. <\/strong>Quello a cui potete appoggiarvi e che vi aiuter\u00e0 a curare tutti i vostri traumi.<\/p>\n
L'unica persona che accoglier\u00e0 apertamente tutti i vostri problemi e che vi dar\u00e0 la sicurezza dell'attaccamento che tanto desiderate.<\/p>\n
Quando una persona viene cresciuta con uno stile di attaccamento sicuro, si credere nell'amore<\/a>. They trust people and are consequently trustworthy. They know all about consistency and loyalty, and that\u2019s exactly what you need.<\/p>\n
Psicoterapia<\/h2>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-talking-to-therapist-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nRicordate: non c'\u00e8 da vergognarsi a chiedere aiuto.<\/p>\n
- stile di attaccamento timoroso\/insicuro-evitante\/disorganizzato<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n