![\"una](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-woman-and-a-man-with-a-relationship-problem.jpg\")
<\/p>\n\"L'aspettativa \u00e8 la radice di ogni dolore del cuore\". W. Shakespeare <\/i><\/p>\n
Se dovessimo elencare le cause della fine di una relazione, inizieremmo con il tradimento, la manipolazione, la disonest\u00e0 e, nei casi peggiori, l'abuso.<\/p>\n
Tutto questo \u00e8 vero. Questi sono tutti, in un certo senso, i motivi pi\u00f9 crudeli e dolorosi per porre fine a una relazione. Quella silenziosa, quella che non penseremmo mai possa essere l'unica portatrice di una fine, \u00e8 la mancanza di aspettative.<\/p>\n
They don’t come suddenly. They build themselves up over the course of time. One after the other and every time our significant other fails to meet our expectations, it adds to our disappointments in him. It accumulates frustration that is bound to burst at any given moment.<\/p>\n
When that happens, it’s already too late.<\/p>\n
Think about it. If we are being honest with ourselves, we all have certain predictions and beliefs of how our partner will behave in a relationship. That expectation is unrealistic because we don’t communicate it to them.<\/p>\n
I didn’t come to this conclusion just like that. If it was just my common thinking, I would put lack of communication, money issues, and constant fights as the top three reasons, because I observe my environment and the people around me who are getting out of long-term relationships and even getting divorced list those three main reasons.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Ma quando ho avuto la possibilit\u00e0 di parlare a fondo dell'argomento con loro, mi sono reso conto che hanno tutti un fattore comune<\/b>\u2014<\/b>aspettative non soddisfatte. Mi sono reso conto che un mancanza di comunicazione<\/a> combinata con aspettative non soddisfatte \u00e8 ci\u00f2 che uccide la maggior parte delle relazioni. <\/b><\/p>\n Una delle mie amiche sposate mi stava parlando dei suoi problemi coniugali. Mi diceva che nella sua testa aveva un'immagine completamente diversa di come doveva essere tutto. Si era inventata un regno armonioso in cui non c'erano problemi.<\/p>\n She expected certain things from her husband. She wanted him to help her around the house, she wanted him to help her more with their children, she wanted for him to make lunch on his days off so she didn\u2019t always have to and there were millions of other small things like that that she wanted.<\/p>\n Knowing her well, as we have been friends for half of our lives, I just asked if she ever asked him for help. And I knew that the answer was, \u201cNo\u201d before she even told me. <\/i><\/p>\n She said she thought that he should know these things without any need for her to remind him. She just went on and on, with, \u201cThey are obvious,\u201d \u201cThat is some basic stuff everyone should know, \u201cHe should know that,\u201d \u201cHe is not stupid,\u201d and, \u201cHe knows I need help.\u201d<\/p>\n L'ho ascoltata. Poi le ho ricordato il nostro litigio di tanto, tanto tempo fa. Si \u00e8 arrabbiata con me perch\u00e9 pensava che avrei dovuto fare alcune cose che la riguardavano in modo diverso e ha taciuto finch\u00e9 non \u00e8 stato troppo tardi e a quel punto abbiamo litigato di brutto.<\/p>\n I clearly remember saying, \u201cI can’t read your mind, speak up.\u201d That’s where it all calmed down.<\/p>\n Quello che il mio amico e la maggior parte di noi dimenticano di capire \u00e8 che nessuno pu\u00f2 leggere la nostra mente, che se vogliamo qualcosa da qualcuno, dobbiamo chiedere.<\/b><\/p>\n Abbiamo tutti una percezione diversa di come dovrebbero essere le cose, soprattutto tra uomini e donne. Le cose si percepiscono in modo diverso. Vedono le cose in modo diverso. Siamo individui completamente diversi.<\/b><\/p>\n When you don’t speak up, you sweep your problems under the rug. You fail to communicate and you just keep on expecting and getting disappointed because things don\u2019t meet your expectations. It’s like an never-ending circle which leads to heartache and frustration.<\/p>\n Non comunicando ci\u00f2 che vogliamo che il nostro partner faccia, creiamo un grosso problema dal nulla senza nemmeno rendercene conto. Questo problema diventa sempre pi\u00f9 grande con il passare del tempo e si trascina dietro tutta una serie di altri problemi e questioni.<\/p>\n A lot of people, like my friend, and even me, to be honest, just learned this through other people’s examples and fail to realize that unmet expectations can be so devastating.<\/p>\n It’s not fair to expect for your partner to behave the way you want him to, just as it’s not fair for him to assume you will live up to his expectations.<\/p>\n Another funny story about great expectations involves my other friend. She is about to get married and she is attending some premarital seminars with her fianc\u00e9e.<\/p>\n Un coach in uno dei seminari ha chiesto loro di elencare tutte le cose che si aspettano dal loro partner una volta sposati.<\/p>\n![\"una](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-loving-couple-drinks-coffee-and-talks-seriously.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"la](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/the-woman-writes-something-and-the-man-laughs.jpg\")
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![\"il](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-portrait-of-a-beautiful-thinking-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"un](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-man-and-a-woman-sit-at-the-bar-drinking-coffee-and-talking-seriously.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"una](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-loving-couple-sitting-on-the-floor-of-the-room-and-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Le](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Unmet-Expectations-Are-The-Most-Common-Cause-Of-Broken-Relationships-Pinterest.jpg\")
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