{"id":12876,"date":"2018-01-22T12:02:19","date_gmt":"2018-01-22T12:02:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=12876"},"modified":"2022-02-22T16:02:24","modified_gmt":"2022-02-22T16:02:24","slug":"il-meglio-non-e-mai-abbastanza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/il-meglio-non-e-mai-abbastanza\/","title":{"rendered":"Per te il mio meglio non \u00e8 mai stato abbastanza"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ti ho dato tutto quello che potevo. Non era mai abbastanza.<\/a> Non sono mai stato abbastanza<\/a>. Nulla potr\u00e0 mai soddisfarla.<\/span><\/p>\n

La prima volta che ho posato gli occhi su di te il mio cuore ha avuto un sussulto, le mie mani tremavano. Era come se tutto mi dicesse di scappare. Di correre il pi\u00f9 lontano possibile e di non voltarmi mai indietro. <\/span><\/p>\n

Il mio corpo e il mio cuore mi dicevano cosa era meglio per me in quel momento, ma in qualche modo volevo che tu fossi la cosa migliore per me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Siete stati cos\u00ec generosi all'inizio, senza mai cercare di farmi sentire non amata e inferiore, ma piuttosto apprezzata e curata.<\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this didn’t really last too long. It lasted to the point where you started finding mistakes in everything I did.<\/b><\/p>\n

Niente era mai abbastanza buono. Come una maledizione.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rimanevo sveglia tutta la notte ad aspettare che tornassi a casa e tu mi urlavi contro per essere rimasta sveglia cos\u00ec a lungo. Ti preparavo la cena e tu buttavi tutto dall'altra parte della stanza, anche se l'avevi mangiata con gioia solo pochi giorni prima. <\/span><\/p>\n

Even if I would surrender to your abuse every time you would start, it wasn’t good enough because you thought that I was pathetic. I was your slave; I was your victim and everything someone else wouldn’t endure.<\/span><\/p>\n

Per qualcun altro eri quel ragazzo bellissimo, quello che ho conosciuto all'inizio.<\/b> Per qualcun altro eri gentile e generoso, ma per me non eri altro che uno stronzo (per non dire altro). Non c'era pi\u00f9 nulla di buono e nulla di buono sarebbe mai tornato.<\/span><\/p>\n

Il momento Ho deciso di lasciarti<\/a> \u00e8 stata l'unica decisione di cui sono stata orgogliosa. Questa volta sarei stata abbastanza brava per me stessa.<\/b><\/p>\n

E se te lo stai chiedendo: s\u00ec, mi ricordo come hai reagito nel momento in cui ti ho detto che me ne sarei andato. <\/span><\/p>\n

You threw a glass against the wall and you didn’t think twice about throwing another one towards me.<\/b> The running around and the crying and desperate attempt to escape are the things that I still dream about. It’s like trying to escape a sure death.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ma sono fuggito.<\/span><\/p>\n

I left you everything but myself. I left you my entire life, but I took my damaged heart with myself. You weren’t able to keep it safe. You were never able to do that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Am I good enough now? Am I good enough now that you don’t have me anymore. Now that I have realised that non c'\u00e8 niente di pi\u00f9 importante di me stesso<\/a>?<\/span><\/p>\n

The bruises are fading, it’ll take them some time to heal, but it’s better to be left in scars than to be a walking wound.<\/b><\/p>\n

Isn’t it funny that I thought that I deserved everything that happened because of the way you manipulated me into thinking that I was the problem in our relationship and that there was nothing I could actually do to make myself worthy of your time?<\/span><\/p>\n

Oggi, dopo aver intrapreso il mio cammino di felicit\u00e0, rido di tutto quello che \u00e8 successo. Rido mentre le lacrime mi rigano il viso e tutto il mio corpo rabbrividisce (perch\u00e9 \u00e8 stato traumatizzante), ma rido lo stesso. <\/span><\/p>\n

I laugh to make myself feel better about it\u2014no matter the fact that nothing can ever change the past as much as I would want to have the ability to change it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve dodged the bullet to the point where it just hit me to make me bleed, but it didn’t kill me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I will rise from my ashes again, but you will forever be buried in your body\u2014the body of an abuser, not able to love or feel anything but anger towards his own self. <\/b><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I gave you everything I could. It was never enough. I was never enough. Nothing could ever satisfy you. The first time I set eyes on you my heart skipped a beat, my hands were shaking. It was like everything was telling me to run away. To run as far as I could and to…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":12893,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29618],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moving-on"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29618,"label":"moving on"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/allef-vinicius-347070.jpg",800,564,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29618,"name":"moving on","slug":"moving-on","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29618,"taxonomy":"category","description":"When nothing else works - inspiring stories about moving on are bound to help you let go of people and situations you never thought you could live without.\r\n","parent":38,"count":200,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29618,"category_count":200,"category_description":"When nothing else works - inspiring stories about moving on are bound to help you let go of people and situations you never thought you could live without.\r\n","cat_name":"moving on","category_nicename":"moving-on","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12876"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12876\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12893"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}