{"id":138705,"date":"2021-11-19T10:25:05","date_gmt":"2021-11-19T10:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=138705"},"modified":"2021-11-19T10:25:05","modified_gmt":"2021-11-19T10:25:05","slug":"chi-e-esther-perel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/chi-e-esther-perel\/","title":{"rendered":"Chi \u00e8 Esther Perel e perch\u00e9 i suoi consigli e le sue intuizioni sulle relazioni sono di tendenza su TikTok?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Se negli ultimi giorni avete scrutato TikTok, vi sarete imbattuti nei video di Esther Perel che parlano di relazioni.<\/p>\n<p><strong>So che mi ha fatto mettere in discussione tutto ci\u00f2 che pensavo di sapere sull'amore e sulle relazioni.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But let me give you a brief intro for those of you who have no idea what I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n<h2>Informazioni di base<\/h2>\n<p>Esther Perel \u00e8 una psicoterapeuta belga esperta di relazioni. Tra le altre cose, affronta due bisogni umani apparentemente contrastanti: il bisogno di sicurezza e il bisogno di libert\u00e0.<\/p>\n<p><strong>In realt\u00e0, l'esplorazione del paradosso centrale dell'amore \u00e8 ci\u00f2 che l'ha resa famosa.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cLove rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness. One does not exist without the other. With too much distance, there can be no connection. But too much merging eradicates the separateness of two distinct individuals.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Ma non \u00e8 per questo che ha iniziato a fare tendenza.<\/p>\n<p>A few days ago, TheMindHub posted several short clips of Esthel\u2019s 2017 interview on the Scandinavian talk show Skavlan, where the expert explains the psychology behind cheating, breaks the \u201cone and only\u201d myth, and gives us some hard truths about romantic love.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ever since TheMindHub revived the interview, the hashtag with the therapist\u2019s name has reached 19,2M views. And the numbers continue to grow.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, what\u2019s so special about Esther Perel\u2019s views on relationships?<\/p>\n<h2>L'idea di una persona per sempre<\/h2>\n<p>Ecco una pillola difficile da ingoiare: <strong>you don\u2019t have to spend the rest of your life with one person. The concept of \u201cone and only\u201d is outdated and doesn\u2019t work so well in practice.<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" style=\"max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@themindhub\/video\/7030410568448314625\" data-video-id=\"7030410568448314625\">\n<section><a title=\"@themindhub\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@themindhub\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@themindhub<\/a> Do you believe in the &#8220;one and only&#8221;?<a title=\"estherperel\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/estherperel\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#EstherPerel<\/a> <a title=\"skavlan\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/skavlan\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#Skavlan<\/a> <a title=\"psicologia\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/psychology\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#psicologia<\/a> <a title=\"psicologo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/psychologist\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#psicologo<\/a> <a title=\"relazione\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/relationship\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Relazioni<\/a> <a title=\"consigli sulle relazioni\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/relationshipadvice\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Consigli di relazione<\/a> <a title=\"amore\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/love\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Amore<\/a> <a title=\"foryoupage\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/foryoupage\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#foryoupage<\/a> <a title=\"fyp\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/fyp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#fyp<\/a> <a title=\"fyp\u30b7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/fyp%E3%82%B7\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#fyp\u30b7<\/a> <a title=\"\u266c Twenty One Pilots Hometown Slowed Sad Part - Blasteran MaLaikat\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/Twenty-One-Pilots-Hometown-Slowed-Sad-Part-6889579332356934401\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u266c Twenty One Pilots Hometown Slowed Sad Part &#8211; Blasteran MaLaikat<\/a><\/section>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><script async=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Many argue against this opinion. But if you look at everything around you, you\u2019ll see that Esther couldn\u2019t be more right.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, nobody is forbidding you from being with the same person \u201c\u2018till death do you part.\u201d She isn\u2019t saying you can\u2019t love one person for life \u2013 she is just stating that for many couples, love runs out sooner or later.<\/p>\n<p><strong>That\u2019s why in modern society, we marry \u201cuntil love dies.\u201d And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>After all, it\u2019s much better to end your marriage instead of growing old in a loveless relationship.<\/p>\n<p>You have to admit that the concept of monogamy really has changed. Now it means, \u201cone person at a time\u201d (vs. \u201cone person for an entire life\u201d).<\/p>\n<p>Il tempo vola, si cresce come persone e anche le norme sociali cambiano.<\/p>\n<p>Basically, what Esther is telling you is to enjoy the moment. Let people be special to you at this exact moment \u2013 that\u2019s more than enough.<\/p>\n<h2>Perch\u00e9 imbrogliamo?<\/h2>\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" style=\"max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@themindhub\/video\/7029656792799988993\" data-video-id=\"7029656792799988993\">\n<section><a title=\"@themindhub\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@themindhub\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@themindhub<\/a> Il vero motivo per cui le persone tradiscono <a title=\"estherperel\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/estherperel\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#EstherPerel<\/a> <a title=\"skavlan\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/skavlan\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#Skavlan<\/a> <a title=\"psicologia\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/psychology\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#psicologia<\/a> <a title=\"psicologo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/psychologist\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#psicologo<\/a> <a title=\"relazione\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/relationship\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Relazioni<\/a> <a title=\"consigli sulle relazioni\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/relationshipadvice\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Consigli di relazione<\/a> <a title=\"terapia\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/therapy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#erapia<\/a> <a title=\"amore\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/love\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Amore<\/a> <a title=\"foryoupage\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/foryoupage\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#foryoupage<\/a> <a title=\"fyp\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/fyp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#fyp<\/a> <a title=\"fyp\u30b7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/fyp%E3%82%B7\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#fyp\u30b7<\/a> <a title=\"\u266c Twenty One Pilots Hometown Slowed Sad Part - Blasteran MaLaikat\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/Twenty-One-Pilots-Hometown-Slowed-Sad-Part-6889579332356934401\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u266c Twenty One Pilots Hometown Slowed Sad Part &#8211; Blasteran MaLaikat<\/a><\/section>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><script async=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Those who criticize Esther\u2019s point of view might say that she is justifying cheating. Well, she\u2019s definitely not \u2013 she\u2019s just explaining the <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/i-motivi-per-cui-gli-uomini-tradiscono\/\">psicologia.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Being unfaithful is about desire \u2013 not about the sex itself. In fact, an emotional affair that is all about desire can sometimes be more dangerous for a relationship than physical infidelity.<\/p>\n<p>And what is this desire about? It\u2019s about feeling wanted again.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s about proving to yourself that you can draw someone\u2019s attention. It\u2019s about all the things people feel deprived of in their primary relationships.<\/p>\n<p><strong>S\u00ec, in molti casi il tradimento serve a guarire un ego distrutto.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In sostanza, afferma che<strong> the underlying reason for cheating is our pursuit of something we\u2019re missing \u2013 either in our relationship or in ourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cOften, when you\u2019re attracted by the gaze of another, it isn\u2019t just because you want to leave the person that you are with. But it is because you want to leave the person that you have yourself become.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>And it isn\u2019t just that you want to meet somebody else, but you want to meet another self.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>Compatibilit\u00e0 pi\u00f9 che amore?<\/h2>\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" style=\"max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@daily_tao\/video\/6985188269264768262\" data-video-id=\"6985188269264768262\">\n<section><a title=\"@daily_tao\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@daily_tao\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@daily_tao<\/a> \u2665\ufe0f <a title=\"estherperel\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/estherperel\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#estherperel<\/a> <a title=\"consiglio d&#039;amore\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/loveadvice\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#loveadvice<\/a> <a title=\"obiettivi relazionali\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/relationshipgoals\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Obiettivi di relazione<\/a> <a title=\"consigli sulle relazioni\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/relationshipadvice\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">1TP5Consigli di relazione<\/a> <a title=\"amore vero\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/reallove\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#reallove<\/a> <a title=\"reallovestory\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/reallovestory\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#reallovestory<\/a> <a title=\"\u266c suono originale - Jessie \u0410\u0441\u044f Kanzer \u262f\ufe0f\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-6985188156777712390\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u266c original sound &#8211; Jessie \u0410\u0441\u044f Kanzer \u262f\ufe0f<\/a><\/section>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><script async=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Here is another piece of relationship wisdom from Esther Perel: there is much more to life than loving another person. No, she isn\u2019t saying that romantic love isn\u2019t important for a happy life.<\/p>\n<p>Al contrario, sostiene che<strong> la qualit\u00e0 delle nostre relazioni determina la qualit\u00e0 della nostra vita.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Esther vuole solo che smettiate di romanzare le farfalle e l'eccitazione dell'innamoramento.<\/p>\n<p>Per quanto grande sia questa sensazione, <strong>ci sono storie d'amore incredibili che non sono mai diventate storie di vita.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You can\u2019t build a life with someone just because you share incredible chemistry. It\u2019s romantic in theory, but in practice, life is not all sunshine and rainbows.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s about paying your mortgage, going through family emergencies, dealing with health problems, co-parenting, fighting financial battles\u2026<\/p>\n<p>In fin dei conti, il vostro partner di vita deve essere una persona con cui andate d'accordo. Dovrebbe essere una persona con cui condividere gli stessi obiettivi e una visione del mondo simile.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Quindi, Esther mette la compatibilit\u00e0 davanti all'amore? Oppure abbiamo sempre avuto un'idea sbagliata di cosa sia l'amore?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Do you agree with Esther\u2019s views? Give me your thoughts on the matter.<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019ve been scrolling through TikTok over the last couple of days, you must have stumbled upon Esther Perel\u2019s videos talking about relationships. I know she made me question everything I thought I knew about love and relationships. But let me give you a brief intro for those of you who have no idea what&#8230;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":138708,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29651,29682],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-138705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lines-and-entertainment","category-magazine"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29651,"label":"LINES &amp; ENTERTAINMENT"},{"value":29682,"label":"magazine"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Esther-Perel-1024x682.jpg",1024,682,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29651,"name":"LINES &amp; ENTERTAINMENT","slug":"lines-and-entertainment","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29651,"taxonomy":"category","description":"<b><i>Are you lacking inspiration, or can't express how you feel through words? This is where the magic happens! Get inspired on what to text, what kind of questions to ask, what games to play (and how) and of course, read many interesting quotes, paragraphs, and letters.<\/i><\/b>","parent":0,"count":25,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29651,"category_count":25,"category_description":"<b><i>Are you lacking inspiration, or can't express how you feel through words? This is where the magic happens! Get inspired on what to text, what kind of questions to ask, what games to play (and how) and of course, read many interesting quotes, paragraphs, and letters.<\/i><\/b>","cat_name":"LINES &amp; ENTERTAINMENT","category_nicename":"lines-and-entertainment","category_parent":0},{"term_id":29682,"name":"magazine","slug":"magazine","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29682,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Where\u2019s all the buzz? Keep up to date with all the trending topics worldwide!","parent":29651,"count":7,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29682,"category_count":7,"category_description":"Where\u2019s all the buzz? Keep up to date with all the trending topics worldwide!","cat_name":"magazine","category_nicename":"magazine","category_parent":29651}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=138705"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138705\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/138708"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=138705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=138705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=138705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}