![\"due](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/two-friends-sit-by-the-window-and-talk.jpg\")
<\/p>\nFinding the right words to console someone is always hard. It really doesn\u2019t matter what\u2019s going on with your loved one \u2013 the bottom line is that they\u2019re in emotional pain.<\/p>\n
Cosa fare esattamente? Dovreste dare <\/b>spazio<\/b>? Dovreste spingerli a parlare dei loro sentimenti?<\/b><\/p>\n
Come consolare qualcuno? E se si dicesse il <\/b>cosa sbagliata<\/b> e spezzargli ancora di pi\u00f9 il cuore? E se li lasciate stare e date loro l'impressione di non essere stati presenti per loro?<\/b><\/p>\n
What if you do too much? What if you don\u2019t do enough?<\/p>\n
The questions are endless, but the good news is that you\u2019ll find all the answers you need right here.<\/p>\n
Ecco una guida passo passo per confortare una persona cara:<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Prima di tutto, dovete imparare a iniziare la conversazione in modo corretto. Naturalmente, tutto dipende dall'interlocutore.<\/b><\/p>\n
Some people will come to you directly and ask for your help. They will tell you that they\u2019re having a hard time and ask you to hear them out or give them a hand.<\/p>\n
Tuttavia, questo \u00e8 piuttosto raro. La maggior parte delle persone che hanno un disperato bisogno di aiuto non lo chiedono mai apertamente.<\/p>\n
\u00c8 proprio per questo che dovete essere voi a rompere il ghiaccio.<\/p>\n
Si pu\u00f2 iniziare con qualche chiacchiera. Questo \u00e8 il modo pi\u00f9 efficace per aiutare l'altra persona a rilassarsi un po'.<\/p>\n
After that, when you see that things are going well, it\u2019s safe to start tackling the most important topic. Just start by telling them that you know what happened (whatever this applies to \u2013 to a breakup or to perdere una persona cara<\/a>) and that you were wondering how they\u2019ve been.<\/p>\n Also, if you see that you\u2019re having a hard time breaking the ice, you can literally announce your follow-up conversation. Just tell them that you want to talk to them and ask them if that would be okay.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re dealing with someone who\u2019s grieving, you have to find out how this person feels. That\u2019s exactly why you must let them talk.<\/p>\n I know you probably have a lot to say regarding the topic, but please, don\u2019t interrupt them. This is especially true for people who have a habit of repressing their emotions.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll be honest with you: you\u2019ll have a <\/b>tempo difficile<\/b> getting them to open up. They\u2019re probably scared to even start getting everything off their chest.<\/b><\/p>\n Quindi, se riuscite a farli parlare, lasciateli fare. Non \u00e8 necessario che siate d'accordo o meno con loro.<\/p>\n I hate to break it to you, but you\u2019re not here to give them your opinion unless they ask for advice.<\/p>\n Cosa fare se iniziano a piangere e a singhiozzare? La cosa peggiore da fare \u00e8 dare di matto.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t tell them to calm down and to stop crying, either. I know you mean well but trust me \u2013 it\u2019s better to let them cry their heart out if that\u2019s how they feel. It will make them feel better afterward, and they\u2019ll appreciate your presence.<\/p>\n But how do you let someone who doesn\u2019t want to open up talk? Well, the trick is to ask them open-ended questions.<\/p>\n Ad esempio, se si chiede loro: <\/b>Come si sente?<\/i><\/b>,<\/b> e dicono solo <\/b>Fine<\/i><\/b>, don\u2019t leave it at that. Instead, say something like, <\/b>Pu\u00f2 essere pi\u00f9 specifico?<\/i><\/b>,<\/b> o <\/b>Ho visto quel post sul tuo <\/i><\/b>social media<\/i><\/b> l'altro giorno. Come ti sei sentito quando l'hai pubblicato?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Potete anche inventare una situazione immaginaria. Dite loro che il vostro migliore amico sta vivendo una situazione simile e che state cercando un modo per aiutarlo.<\/p>\n You know what\u2019s worst about people trying to comfort others? Making everything about them and their own experiences!<\/p>\n Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 I know you\u2019re not doing it on purpose. In fact, I have to admit that once upon a time, I was that person as well.<\/b><\/p>\n Il mio migliore amico<\/a> o un familiare mi diceva che stava attraversando un momento difficile. E io cosa facevo? Gli dicevo che avevo attraversato un periodo altrettanto difficile.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s get one thing straight: I wasn\u2019t doing it to steal the spotlight. I wasn\u2019t doing it to invalidate their feelings.<\/p>\n Al contrario, pensavo di aiutarli.<\/p>\n Did you break up with your partner? I\u2019ve been there, and Sono sopravvissuto<\/a>, and so will you. I was doing it to let them know that they weren\u2019t alone.<\/p>\n But now I\u2019m aware that it\u2019s the wrong approach.<\/p>\n Well, first of all, you\u2019re the one comforting them. This might sound harsh, but they don\u2019t give a damn about how you felt years ago.<\/p>\n Besides, they won\u2019t understand why you\u2019re doing it. They\u2019ll think that you\u2019re a selfish, self-centered person who can\u2019t spend a minute talking about someone else\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n This is something you have to keep in mind when you\u2019re figuring out how to comfort someone: we are all different. This means that we deal with different situations in different ways. And, of course, we show different emotions while doing so.<\/p>\n Why am I telling you this? Well, maybe your friend is going through something that wouldn\u2019t be such a big deal for you.<\/p>\n They got fired from a lousy job or ended a toxic relationship that wasn\u2019t enough for them anyway. I mean, you and I both know that it\u2019s not the end of the world.<\/p>\n But hey, you won\u2019t tell them that there are children in Africa starving right now. Yes, that fact is true.<\/p>\n And according to major tragedies, their problem really isn\u2019t that serious. However, their pain is consuming them right now, and whatever they\u2019re going through, it\u2019s the most painful and most significant thing in the world to them now.<\/p>\n You\u2019re not here to decide if something is worth the tears and the pain or not. You\u2019re here to provide support.<\/p>\n Besides, you\u2019re not validating their situation, but you must validate their feelings. They have full right to feel this way, and you\u2019re not supposed to judge them.<\/p>\n Nessuno vuole sentire frasi vuote, luoghi comuni e frasi fatte. So che volete far sentire meglio la vostra persona, ma non ha assolutamente senso mentire.<\/p>\n First of all, they\u2019ll see right through you. I mean, they\u2019re in pain; they haven\u2019t magically lost their intelligence.<\/p>\n Consequently, they won\u2019t come to you ever again once they realize that you\u2019re not being honest.<\/p>\n Tuttavia, there is an even more important reason why deceiving someone you\u2019re comforting is bad. You\u2019re giving them false hope.<\/b><\/p>\n If you succeed in convincing them that their ex will come back or that their boss will ask them to return to work, you\u2019ll get them to calm down temporarily. Nevertheless, the harsh reality will still hit them sooner or later.<\/p>\n Purtroppo, devono affrontare la verit\u00e0, per quanto faccia loro male farlo.<\/p>\n However, you shouldn\u2019t be too pessimistic either. Make sure they know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if they don\u2019t see it yet.<\/p>\n Some problems don\u2019t have a solution \u2013 we\u2019re all aware of that. However, you\u2019ll never say something like that directly.<\/p>\n Even if your friend has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, it\u2019s not like you would tell them that they can\u2019t be helped and that they will die, no matter what. Even in the worst-case scenario, you have to find a ray of sunshine.<\/p>\n Ma il trucco \u00e8 trovare un equilibrio e non mentire solo per confortarli. Siate ottimisti, ma allo stesso tempo fate del vostro meglio per essere realisti!<\/b><\/p>\n Il modo migliore per aumentare l'ottimismo \u00e8 quello di praticare affermazioni positive<\/a>. Fateglielo ripetere e dopo un po' cominceranno a sentirsi meglio.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re talking to someone, they should be the center of your attention. It\u2019s rude to text in the middle of a conversation or just pointlessly stare at your phone, scrolling through apps and social media.<\/p>\n You might not even be aware you\u2019re doing it, but trust me, sometimes we\u2019re all guilty of this.<\/p>\n Come ho detto, this behavior is unacceptable, even if you\u2019re in the middle of unimportant small talk with someone you see every day, let alone when you\u2019re comforting someone.<\/b><\/p>\n Quindi, prima di chiedervi come confortare qualcuno, sarebbe bello se poteste scegliere un momento e un luogo adatto per farlo.<\/p>\n Try finding a private place where you two can be alone. You don\u2019t want anyone distracting you. If you do get a phone call, don\u2019t pick up!<\/p>\n Besides, you don\u2019t want to have this talk in a coffee shop or a mall full of people. I\u2019m sure that would make your friend even more uncomfortable.<\/p>\n The timing is also significant. Don\u2019t invite them to meet up if you know that you have to go soon or something like that.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t know for how long this is going to take, so it\u2019s better to have all the time in the world at your disposal.<\/p>\n After the initial phases of this process have passed, it\u2019s time for some action. Your friend may ask for your advice.<\/p>\n In that case, you should definitely offer them a solution. This advice can be based on your personal experience \u2013 this is when it\u2019s okay to mention yourself (but be careful not to make it about yourself!).<\/p>\n But what if they don\u2019t ask for advice? Well, it all depends on who you\u2019re talking to.<\/b><\/p>\n If you\u2019re comforting a young person, you can definitely share some of your wisdom. If this is your significant other, it\u2019s also acceptable to offer them a solution.<\/p>\n Lo stesso vale per i buoni amici.<\/p>\n But what if you\u2019re comforting a coworker or someone you\u2019re not close friends with? Well, in that case, I think it\u2019s better to restrain from giving unsolicited advice.<\/p>\n After all, you don\u2019t know this person\u2019s circumstances, and there is no point in diving in too deep.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re comforting someone, it\u2019s important to give <\/b>spazio<\/b>. You\u2019re there for them, but you can\u2019t be breathing down their neck.<\/b><\/p>\n Una delle cose peggiori che possiate fare \u00e8 spingerli troppo a fare ci\u00f2 che pensate sia giusto.<\/p>\n Sapete bene che dovrebbero piangere. You\u2019re aware that <\/b>reprimere le proprie emozioni<\/b><\/a> \u00e8 negativo per il loro <\/b>salute mentale<\/b>.<\/b><\/p>\n However, they\u2019re simply not ready.<\/b><\/p>\n Lo stesso vale per le soluzioni che avete offerto. Sapete che ascoltando i vostri consigli risolverete il loro problema, aumenterete la loro autostima e li aiuterete a guarire.<\/p>\n Nevertheless, if they don\u2019t want to take it, it\u2019s their right. Remember \u2013 you\u2019re their emotional support, nothing more.<\/p>\n Ricordate che il linguaggio del corpo spesso parla pi\u00f9 delle parole.<\/p>\n When you make eye contact, make sure you show understanding. Pay attention to what your friend is saying \u2013 don\u2019t just stare at them blankly.<\/p>\n Ma soprattutto, <\/b>offrire affetto fisico<\/b>. <\/b>If we\u2019re talking about a close friend, significant other, or a family member, you\u2019ll Abbracciateli e basta<\/a>, senza fare domande.<\/p>\n But if this is someone you\u2019re not that close tp, you should always ask if they want to be held or hugged. Some people don\u2019t enjoy physical affection when they\u2019re in emotional pain, and that\u2019s perfectly okay.<\/p>\n There are some situations where you just can\u2019t help your friend as much as you try. Maybe they\u2019re feeling depressed, and their sadness is out of your area of expertise.<\/p>\n Quando ci\u00f2 accade, il vostro compito \u00e8 quello di offrirvi di portarli a una <\/b>salute mentale<\/b> professionale il cui compito \u00e8 quello di <\/b>aiutare gli altri<\/b>.<\/b><\/p>\n Just be careful when making this suggestion! You don\u2019t want them thinking that you think they\u2019re crazy or anything like that.<\/p>\n You can offer a therapist from your own experience \u2013 just to show them that there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help.<\/p>\n Come si conclude la conversazione? La cosa pi\u00f9 importante \u00e8 dire loro che possono contare su di voi, qualunque cosa accada.<\/b><\/p>\n They can call you in the middle of the night if they just need someone to listen to them. You\u2019ll be around if they need a shoulder to cry on. You\u2019ll be there if they need advice and if they\u2019re looking for solutions.<\/p>\n The bottom line is that you\u2019re not going anywhere.<\/p>\n I have to be honest: sending someone who\u2019s in pain a text message is probably one of the worst ways to comfort them. I mean, if we\u2019re talking about someone close to you, you should at least make an effort to see them in person.<\/p>\n And if that\u2019s not possible, you\u2019ll call them, if nothing else. Tuttavia, a volte le circostanze sono tali da non avere altra scelta se non quella di mandare un messaggio.<\/b><\/p>\n In questo caso, \u00e8 necessario procedere esattamente come segue<\/p>\n If you\u2019re texting someone, the important thing is to tell them that you meant to call them and that you intended to meet in person. What matters is that they know that sending them a text message wasn\u2019t your first choice.<\/b><\/p>\n But just because you can\u2019t call them now doesn\u2019t mean that you won\u2019t. Ask them when they\u2019re available to talk and call them when you agree.<\/p>\n Come consolare qualcuno: Bene, you wouldn\u2019t send them a short text that implies that you can\u2019t wait to get rid of them.<\/b><\/p>\n The last thing you want them to think is that you\u2019re doing this just because you have to, not because you truly want to comfort them.<\/p>\n Tuttavia, va bene un paragrafo lungo come un saggio? Perch\u00e9 no? Ma c'\u00e8 solo una condizione.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t send it if you\u2019ll make the situation even sadder. This is not the time to show off your writing skills. You\u2019re not a famous author with the ability to always bring tears to your readers\u2019 eyes.<\/b><\/p>\n Ricordate: il vostro intento principale \u00e8 far sentire meglio la persona dall'altra parte dello schermo. Tutto il resto \u00e8 completamente irrilevante.<\/p>\n Confortare una persona in lutto perdita di una persona cara<\/a> \u00e8 estremamente difficile. Ma dovete dimenticare il vostro dolore e il vostro disagio e trovare un modo per far sentire meglio la vostra persona.<\/p>\n Ogni dolore \u00e8 diverso e anche ogni perdita \u00e8 diversa. So please, don\u2019t try comforting someone by saying empty <\/b>clich\u00e9<\/b>.<\/b><\/p>\n2. Lasciarli parlare<\/h3>\n
Come fare:<\/h4>\n
3. Don\u2019t make it about yourself<\/h3>\n
Perch\u00e9 \u00e8 sbagliato?<\/h4>\n
4. Convalidare i loro sentimenti<\/h3>\n
![\"una](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/a-woman-with-long-brown-hair-comforts-a-friend.jpg\")
<\/p>\nPerch\u00e9 \u00e8 sbagliato?<\/h4>\n
5. Don\u2019t lie to them<\/h3>\n
6. But don\u2019t be pessimistic either<\/h3>\n
7. Dedicare loro la massima attenzione<\/h3>\n
Tempo e luogo<\/h4>\n
8. Offrire una soluzione<\/h3>\n
![\"due](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/two-friends-are-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n9. But don\u2019t push them too hard<\/h3>\n
10. Parlare attraverso il linguaggio del corpo<\/h3>\n
11. Suggerire un aiuto professionale<\/h3>\n
12. Dite loro che possono contare su di voi<\/h3>\n
![\"la](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/the-woman-comforts-her-friend.jpg\")
<\/p>\nCome confortare una persona via SMS in 3 modi<\/h2>\n
![\"una](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/a-woman-with-long-brown-hair-sits-at-a-table-and-buttons-on-the-phone.jpg\")
<\/p>\n1. Dite loro che volete chiamare<\/h3>\n
2. Don\u2019t be too short<\/h3>\n
3. But don\u2019t make them even sadder, either<\/h3>\n
Come confortare chi ha perso una persona cara in 4 modi<\/h2>\n
![\"due](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/two-friends-sit-on-a-bench-and-talk.jpg\")
<\/h2>\n1. Renderlo personale<\/h3>\n
![\"Come](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/How-To-Comfort-Someone-18-Helpful-Ways-Pitnerest.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"