{"id":151242,"date":"2022-05-20T17:20:10","date_gmt":"2022-05-20T17:20:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=151242"},"modified":"2022-05-25T11:47:16","modified_gmt":"2022-05-25T11:47:16","slug":"perche-il-poliamore-e-un-male","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/perche-il-poliamore-e-un-male\/","title":{"rendered":"Perch\u00e9 il poliamore \u00e8 sbagliato: 11 ragioni oneste"},"content":{"rendered":"

Le relazioni poliamorose esistono dalla notte dei tempi. Ma negli ultimi tempi questo stile di vita ha guadagnato sempre pi\u00f9 popolarit\u00e0.<\/p>\n

I bet it\u2019s captured your attention, too; otherwise, you wouldn\u2019t be here. Admit it, you\u2019re thinking about giving it a go, but you\u2019re not sure about all the advantages and disadvantages of this type of relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n

On the one hand, you\u2019re ready to try out something new. You think that you\u2019re not cut out for monogamous relationships because being committed to just one person has never been your thing.<\/p>\n

But on the other hand, you\u2019re also scared that you don\u2019t have what it takes to enter the poly community. Si continua a sentire che questo tipo di accordo \u00e8 la cosa migliore del mondo.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tuttavia, volete conoscere l'altra faccia della medaglia. Volete sapere perch\u00e9 il poliamore \u00e8 negativo.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s what you\u2019re about to find out. If you read on, you\u2019ll get all the cons of polyamorous relationships.<\/p>\n

Perch\u00e9 il poliamore \u00e8 un male:<\/h2>\n

Ecco 11 motivi sinceri per cui dovreste ripensarci prima di intraprendere una relazione poli.<\/p>\n

1. Il problema della gelosia<\/h3>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

Polyamorous people claim that they don\u2019t get jealous. And I\u2019m really happy if that is the case. It means that they\u2019ve grown as people and succeeded in surpassing this toxic emotion.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, in realt\u00e0, non sono molte le persone che possono effettivamente chiudere la loro gelosia<\/a> off completely. Don\u2019t get me wrong: I\u2019m not talking about the possessive, unhealthy kind of jealousy.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about the way we all feel uncomfortable when faced with the idea of losing our partner to someone else. You can be the most confident person in the world, but you won\u2019t be happy if you see your loved one texting someone else.<\/p>\n

E anche se le persone poligame non provano gelosia all'inizio della loro nuova relazione, con il tempo questo cambia.<\/strong> Elizabeth Sheff ha condotto uno studio che ha seguito alcune coppie poli per 15 anni.<\/p>\n

All'inizio della loro nuova relazione, nessuno di loro ha provato gelosia. Anzi, si sentivano solidali. Tuttavia, dopo 15 anni, le stesse coppie hanno dichiarato di aver lottato contro i pensieri di gelosia.<\/p>\n

2. Il legame emotivo<\/h3>\n

Perch\u00e9 il poliamore \u00e8 sbagliato: Uno dei primi motivi \u00e8 legato alle emozioni.<\/p>\n

Look, you\u2019re a human being, not a robot. Per quanto si cerchi di avere un relazione sessuale occasionale con qualcuno<\/a>, prima o poi, i sentimenti appariranno.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cosa succede quando si crea un legame emotivo con una persona nuova? E se si arriva ad amarlo pi\u00f9 del partner principale?<\/p>\n

What if they fall in love, but you\u2019re unable to reciprocate their feelings? Either way, heartbreak every now and then is inevitable.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, it\u2019s impossible to form an connessione emotiva<\/a> with everyone who comes along. Won\u2019t all of those meaningless physical encounters leave you feeling empty and drained?<\/p>\n

3. L'uguaglianza \u00e8 impossibile nella pratica<\/h3>\n

\"giovane<\/p>\n

Una relazione monogama si basa sull'uguaglianza. O almeno, questo \u00e8 l'aspetto che dovrebbe avere una relazione sana.<\/p>\n

Ma l'uguaglianza \u00e8 davvero possibile quando si tratta di relazioni poliamorose<\/a>? In teoria, lo \u00e8 sicuramente.<\/p>\n

Of course, I\u2019m talking about poly relationships with no primary partner or, to be exact, when all partners are \u201cprimary.\u201d As much as poly folks try to create equality in this kind of romantic relationship, it\u2019s quite impossible in practice.<\/strong><\/p>\n

What about hierarchical poly relationships? How do the people positioned \u201cbelow\u201d the primary partners feel?<\/p>\n

4. Investimento emotivo<\/h3>\n

L'uguaglianza non sta nei regali o nel tempo trascorso insieme. Potete stabilire un programma in base al quale avete lo stesso numero di appuntamenti con tutti i vostri partner, in cui dormite con tutti loro lo stesso numero di volte a settimana, in cui comprate loro gli stessi regali, ecc.<\/p>\n

But there is something you simply can\u2019t divide as much as you try, and that is exactly why polyamory is bad. Whether you like to admit it or not, you can\u2019t divide your heart into equal parts.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t give all of your partners the same amount of emotions. Besides, who measures this kind of thing?<\/p>\n

Cosa succede se si sente trascurato emotivamente<\/a>, but your partner claims that they\u2019re invested in your relationship? Who decides who\u2019s right?<\/p>\n

D'altra parte, cosa succede se iniziate davvero ad amare qualcuno di nuovo pi\u00f9 del vostro partner principale? E se vi sentiste pi\u00f9 felici di uscire con loro che con il vostro partner principale?<\/p>\n

You\u2019re still equally invested in both relationships looking from the outside. Nevertheless, deep inside, you feel a huge difference.<\/p>\n

5. Una lotta di potere<\/h3>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

We\u2019re all human beings, which means that we\u2019re not perfect. As much as we try to disregard and surpass our egos, this is another impossible thing to perform in practice.<\/p>\n

Quindi even if you manage to fight jealousy off, power struggles will always be there. Competition and winning against an opponent is in every person\u2019s nature, as much as we try to hide it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Truth be told, some people start polyamorous relationships to boost their egos. They enjoy the idea of multiple people \u201cfighting\u201d for their love and attention.<\/p>\n

Of course, this is not what healthy polyamory looks like. Nevertheless, in practice, this \u201cfighting\u201d happens more than you might imagine.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m not only talking about women fighting over one man or vice versa. I\u2019m talking about the power struggle between you and your primary partner.<\/p>\n

Who\u2019s slept with more people? Who went out on more dates? Who gets hit on more?<\/p>\n

6. Questioni legali<\/h3>\n

If you don\u2019t know why polyamory is bad, I\u2019m sure you haven\u2019t thought of its legal aspects. I\u2019m no lawyer, but I do know that being married to more than one person at the same time is illegal in all western cultures.<\/p>\n

So che alcuni pensano che il matrimonio sia un concetto superato, ma quel pezzo di carta significa davvero qualcosa. Non si ottiene nulla dopo la fine di una relazione, ma si ha una serie di diritti dopo il divorzio.<\/strong><\/p>\n

E per quanto odi affrontare questo tema, cosa succede se uno dei soci muore senza lasciare un testamento?<\/strong> If you\u2019re not their legal spouse, you have no right to their inheritance or anything else.<\/p>\n

In fact, you\u2019re not considered their family by the authorities or medical staff.<\/p>\n

7. La monogamia \u00e8 abbastanza complessa<\/h3>\n

\"giovane<\/p>\n

Giochi mentali<\/a>, tattiche di manipolazione, segnali contrastanti<\/a>, toxic behavior… I\u2019m not saying that every monogamous relationship is like this, but let\u2019s be honest, most mono couples are guilty of at least some of these behaviors.<\/p>\n

Relationships are tough \u2013 nobody can argue against that. It takes a lot of time, effort, and energy to make it work.<\/p>\n

Dopo tutto, due persone con background, livelli di intelligenza, esigenze, passato e caratteri diversi devono trovare una via di mezzo e un modo per vivere insieme felici e contenti.<\/p>\n

Perch\u00e9 supporre che queste cose spariscano magicamente nel momento in cui si passa al poliamore? Al contrario, tutto diventa ancora pi\u00f9 complesso.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Finora c'erano due persone che cercavano di raggiungere un compromesso. Ora ci sono tre o pi\u00f9 adulti che cercano di fare la stessa cosa. Come pu\u00f2 questo non rendere le cose ancora pi\u00f9 complicate?<\/p>\n

8. Regole poco chiare<\/h3>\n

Chi \u00e8 il partner principale? Con quanti altri partner romantici si pu\u00f2 stare? Si possono frequentare solo altri single o tutto \u00e8 limitato ad altre persone poli?<\/p>\n

Do people outside of the polyamorous community know about the couple\u2019s practices? Where is it acceptable to look for other partners?<\/p>\n

Sono autorizzati a pubblicare foto con loro su tutti i social media? Cosa succede se qualcuno si innamora?<\/p>\n

A lot of people interested in polygamy have no idea that this list of questions can go on and on forever. And even veteran polyamorists don\u2019t have all the answers.<\/strong><\/p>\n

S\u00ec, la verit\u00e0 \u00e8 che ogni relazione poliamorosa \u00e8 diversa. Non ci sono regole universali che valgono per ogni relazione aperta<\/a>allo stesso modo in cui non ci sono regole universali<\/a> che valgono per tutte le persone monogame l\u00e0 fuori.<\/p>\n

Ma, che lo si voglia ammettere o meno, la verit\u00e0 \u00e8 che queste regole sono piuttosto difficili da capire e da seguire.<\/p>\n

9. STI<\/h3>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not claiming that every poly relationship is only a sexual relationship. However, it is true that sex lives between more than two people carry more risk, regardless of one\u2019s sexual orientation.<\/p>\n

Yes, there is a bigger chance of getting an STI. It\u2019s actually pretty logical \u2013 you sleep with a lot of people, all of those people sleep with other people, and your partner does the same.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, if you\u2019re all responsible, STIs can be avoided.<\/strong><\/p>\n

First of all, always use protection, even when sleeping with your primary partner. Nevertheless, that\u2019s not always enough.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s crucial to ask everyone to get tested before sleeping with them for the first time. Make sure they know you\u2019re not accusing them of anything \u2013 it\u2019s just a matter of precaution.<\/p>\n

Besides, if they refuse to get tested, they\u2019re either hiding something or they\u2019re not mature enough to see where you\u2019re coming from.<\/p>\n

In ogni caso, non sono candidati per una relazione intima!<\/p>\n

10. Insalubre per i bambini<\/h3>\n

Questo tipo di accordo non \u00e8 salutare per i bambini cresciuti da genitori non monogami? Questo tipo di imprevedibilit\u00e0 e incertezza pu\u00f2 avere un impatto negativo sulla loro salute mentale? Gli studi dicono di s\u00ec.<\/p>\n

Da un lato, S\u00ec, il poliamore d\u00e0 loro la possibilit\u00e0 di essere amati e accuditi da pi\u00f9 persone. Tuttavia, questo accordo non fornisce loro la stabilit\u00e0 e la fermezza di cui hanno bisogno.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Inoltre, cosa succede se due partner hanno un figlio biologico? Come si sente la terza persona?<\/p>\n

Si sentono esclusi? Diventano gelosi del legame tra gli altri partner?<\/p>\n

11. Rotture<\/h3>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

E le rotture?<\/p>\n

\u00c8 necessario un consiglio ufficiale per decidere quando qualcuno \u00e8 fuori? Cosa succede se si vuole rompere con un partner, ma l'altro partner vuole ancora avere una relazione con lui? O il contrario?<\/p>\n

La democrazia funziona qui?<\/p>\n

Breakups are practically impossible in polyamorous relationships. Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 I\u2019m not talking about the kind of romances where you have a primary partner and a couple of intimate relationships outside of the primary one.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about that type of relationship where there are more people involved in the same romance; when you\u2019re dating or even living together.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you want to cut ties and go no contact with one of your partners. How is that possible if your boyfriend or girlfriend is still involved with this person?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, I\u2019m presenting you with imaginary scenarios, but trust me \u2013 something like this is highly possible.<\/p>\n

Il poliamore \u00e8 una malattia mentale?<\/h2>\n

Polyamory is definitely not a mental illness \u2013 it\u2019s just a way of life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Polyamorous people have different personality types, attachment styles, and personality traits. They\u2019re regular human beings \u2013 they just prefer non-monogamy.<\/p>\n

Il poliamore \u00e8 immorale?<\/h2>\n

Finch\u00e9 tutte le parti coinvolte danno il loro pieno consenso a questo tipo di relazione sentimentale, il poliamore \u00e8 perfettamente etico.<\/strong> Of course, it\u2019s not acceptable behavior according to most religions and according to some conservative views, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as nobody is forced into it.<\/p>\n

Per concludere:<\/h2>\n

\"giovane<\/p>\n

The truth is that I\u2019ve given you all the reasons why polyamory is bad. However, I\u2019m sure that you can also find a bunch of studies about perch\u00e9 funziona davvero<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, what\u2019s the verdict? Is it something you should avoid at all costs, or is it an arrangement you ought to try out and see where it takes you?<\/p>\n

I have to be honest with you: there is no right or wrong answer here. But if you\u2019re used to monogamous relationships, switching from mono to poly will definitely be a difficult task.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, it all depends on what you want and what makes you feel comfortable. After all, even if you try giving it a chance, you can always go back to monogamy \u2013 it\u2019s not like you have to spend the rest of your life in polyamory.<\/p>\n

Qualunque sia la vostra decisione, tenete presente una cosa: il consenso \u00e8 la cosa pi\u00f9 importante!<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not polyamory if your partners aren\u2019t familiar with the other people in your life. In that case, it\u2019s called cheating, and that\u2019s something monogamous relationships already have!<\/p>\n

\"Perch\u00e9<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Polyamorous relationships have existed since the beginning of time. But this lifestyle has increasingly gained popularity lately. I bet it\u2019s captured your attention, too; otherwise, you wouldn\u2019t be here. Admit it, you\u2019re thinking about giving it a go, but you\u2019re not sure about all the advantages and disadvantages of this type of relationship. On the…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":53,"featured_media":151243,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29614],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-151242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-talks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29614,"label":"love talks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Why-Polyamory-Is-Bad-11-Honest-Reasons-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Ariel Quinn","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/ariel\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29614,"name":"love talks","slug":"love-talks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29614,"taxonomy":"category","description":"What is love? How does it affect us? How to know someone loves you or show someone you love them? What types of love are there? Learn all that and much more.","parent":38,"count":426,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29614,"category_count":426,"category_description":"What is love? How does it affect us? How to know someone loves you or show someone you love them? What types of love are there? Learn all that and much more.","cat_name":"love talks","category_nicename":"love-talks","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/53"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=151242"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151242\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/151243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=151242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=151242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=151242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}