{"id":152223,"date":"2022-06-06T07:45:26","date_gmt":"2022-06-06T07:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=152223"},"modified":"2022-12-13T14:31:30","modified_gmt":"2022-12-13T14:31:30","slug":"prendere-le-distanze-dai-parenti-acquisiti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/prendere-le-distanze-dai-parenti-acquisiti\/","title":{"rendered":"Prendere le distanze dai suoceri: Dovete farlo e come?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dico sempre che sposare qualcuno significa anche sposare i suoi amici e la sua famiglia. Beh, lo scenario peggiore in questa situazione sarebbe quello di ritrovarsi con dei suoceri tossici.<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure Jennifer Lopez still has PTSD from making the movie Mostro in suocera<\/i>che descrive perfettamente quanto possano essere tossici (e divertenti) i rapporti con i suoceri.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong. Not all in-laws are toxic, and if you\u2019re lucky enough, you\u2019ll manage to establish a <\/b>relazione sana<\/b> con loro.<\/b> If you\u2019re not, then distancing yourself from in-laws is probably the right thing to do.<\/p>\n

Ora, la domanda \u00e8: Quando \u00e8 opportuno prendere le distanze dai suoceri?<\/i> Penso che una domanda migliore sarebbe: Quali sono i modi pi\u00f9 indolori per farlo?<\/i><\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie to you. Distancing yourself from in-laws can be really challenging, but if it\u2019s done right, it can work out perfectly.<\/b><\/p>\n

Keep in mind that distancing doesn\u2019t mean cutting off all contact with them. It means setting boundaries and forming a healthier relationship with them.<\/p>\n

Below, you\u2019ll find a list of legit reasons you should distance yourself from in-laws and the best ways to do so.<\/p>\n

Quando \u00e8 opportuno prendere le distanze dai parenti acquisiti?<\/h2>\n

Se i suoceri interferiscono con il vostro matrimonio pi\u00f9 del dovuto e fanno di tutto per sabotare la vostra felicit\u00e0, prendere le distanze \u00e8 assolutamente necessario.<\/p>\n

There are also other equally important reasons you shouldn\u2019t tolerate their toxic behavior. So, let\u2019s see:<\/p>\n

1. Mettere voi e il vostro partner l'uno contro l'altro \u00e8 il loro hobby preferito.<\/h3>\n

\"un<\/p>\n

I bet things are seldom worse than your parents or your partner\u2019s parents (or other family members) turning you and your partner against each other. It\u2019s when they can\u2019t help themselves but constantly try to find ways to destroy your marriage.<\/p>\n

Frontiere della sociologia<\/b> confermano la seriet\u00e0 della mia tesi in uno dei loro articoli di ricerca sulle relazioni tra cognati:<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cIn-laws and their \u2018meddling\u2019 rank high among the sources of conflict in contemporary marriages, often higher than such potential flash points as financial issues or mismatched values.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Inutile dire che questo comportamento \u00e8 100% tossico e che nessuna coppia dovrebbe tollerarlo. If that\u2019s what\u2019s happening to you at the moment, then you know it\u2019s time to distance yourself from them.<\/b><\/p>\n

Your in-laws should be supportive of your marriage, and they should be on the same team as you. If they aren\u2019t, then they\u2019re deliberately destroying your marriage.<\/p>\n

2. Interferenza costante con le vostre decisioni di coppia<\/h3>\n

Are your in-laws constantly interfering with your family life or your decisions as a couple in particular? For example, if you\u2019re thinking of buying a new car, does your in-law or in-laws tell you that you shouldn\u2019t?<\/p>\n

Impongono costantemente le loro opinioni sulle vostre decisioni e vi danno consigli non richiesti? <\/b>If yes, then they\u2019re officially interfering with your marriage, which they shouldn\u2019t be doing.<\/p>\n

If you ask them for advice, then that\u2019s one thing, but if they\u2019re persistent in interfering with your decisions, you\u2019re not obligated to accept this behavior. (Things get worse if your in-laws suffer from daddy issues or problemi di maternit\u00e0 nelle donne<\/a>\/uomini).<\/p>\n

After all, you\u2019re no longer in <\/b>scuola superiore,<\/b> and you\u2019re capable of making your own decisions as a couple. <\/b>If they don\u2019t respect that, then distancing yourself from them is a smart choice.<\/p>\n

3. Mettervi in difficolt\u00e0 (soprattutto di fronte agli altri)<\/h3>\n

I vostri suoceri usano spesso <\/i>riunioni di famiglia<\/i> come un'opportunit\u00e0 per mettervi in difficolt\u00e0 di fronte ad altri <\/i>membri della famiglia<\/i>? Oppure non aspettano le occasioni speciali per farlo, ma lo fanno quasi ogni giorno in diverse circostanze?<\/i><\/p>\n

Alcuni suoceri si spingono fino a mettervi in imbarazzo su <\/b>social media<\/b> con i loro commenti scortesi.<\/b><\/p>\n

Questo comportamento tossico pu\u00f2 avere gravi conseguenze sulla vostra salute mentale. Per questo motivo, dovreste pensare seriamente di prendere le distanze.<\/p>\n

4. Parlare alle spalle<\/h3>\n

\"due<\/p>\n

Alcuni adulti non sono mai maturati o cresciuti, quindi parlare alle vostre spalle diventa il loro hobby principale. Quando queste persone fanno parte della vostra vita, la vostra stessa famiglia diventa un peso anzich\u00e9 un rifugio sicuro.<\/p>\n

You should never think that gossiping is a normal thing to do. It\u2019s not, and you shouldn\u2019t expect it from your in-laws or other <\/b>membri della famiglia<\/b>.<\/b><\/p>\n

If they have something to say to you, it\u2019s best for them to say it face-to-face. Healthy communication is one of the most important things in a marriage and your relationship with your in-laws. If that\u2019s been compromised, then you have every right to retreat and set boundaries.<\/p>\n

5. Non \u00e8 disposto a rispettare i vostri confini e la vostra privacy.<\/h3>\n

Alcuni suoceri sono davvero determinati quando si tratta di non rispettare i vostri confini e la vostra privacy. They come to visit whenever they want (uninvited), they don\u2019t accept no for an answer, and your boundaries mean nothing to them.<\/b><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re dealing with these kinds of in-laws, I offer you my sincerest condolences and a potential solution: distancing.<\/p>\n

If that doesn\u2019t work, then you can always go no contact permanently or until they realize the consequences of their actions.<\/b> In alcuni casi, l'allontanamento non \u00e8 una soluzione, ma \u00e8 necessario tagliare i ponti.<\/p>\n

6. Talking about you as if you aren\u2019t there<\/h3>\n

Is there anything more annoying and disrespectful than others talking about you as if you aren\u2019t there? Let me rephrase the question: Do you know what\u2019s worse than talking behind your back?<\/b><\/p>\n

It\u2019s talking about you as if you aren\u2019t there. I\u2019ve experienced this a few times and can confirm how depersonalizing this behavior can be.<\/p>\n

Se il vostro<\/b> i suoceri vi trattano come un estraneo<\/b><\/a> parlando di te davanti a te, hai tutto il diritto di sentirti ferito.<\/b> It shows that they don\u2019t have an ounce of respect and appreciation for you. In these and similar cases, distancing is the way to go.<\/p>\n

Vedi anche: 9 modi in cui gli amici distruggono i matrimoni e cosa fare al riguardo<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c8 giusto prendere le distanze dai parenti acquisiti?<\/h2>\n

Yes, it\u2019s perfectly okay to distance yourself from-in laws if your relationship with them is not healthy and it\u2019s negatively affecting your marriage and well-being.<\/p>\n

Tenete presente che prendere le distanze non vuol dire tagliare tutti i contatti con i suoceri. <\/b>Prendere le distanze significa stabilire dei confini, limitare i contatti e mettere in atto altri accorgimenti per poter stabilire un rapporto decente con loro.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re talking about a healthy distance and not a toxic one where both sides hold grudges. Una sana presa di distanza pu\u00f2 fare miracoli per il vostro matrimonio e per il rapporto complessivo con i suoceri.<\/b><\/p>\n

However, if you have a good relationship with your in-laws, then there\u2019s no need to distance yourself from them.<\/p>\n

Vedi anche: 10 segnali di una nuora tossica e come affrontarla<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

6 modi migliori per prendere le distanze dai parenti acquisiti<\/h2>\n

Essere nuora o genero in un ambiente familiare tossico pu\u00f2 essere estremamente doloroso. Per questo motivo, prendere le distanze potrebbe essere la cosa giusta da fare: ecco alcuni consigli utili su come farlo nel modo giusto:<\/p>\n

1. Stabilire determinati confini<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"una<\/p>\n

Ricordo quando la mia migliore amica ha avuto a che fare con una suocera tossica<\/a>. Un giorno, mi disse che aveva creato una elenco di limiti per la suocera<\/a> e altri suoceri che interferivano nel loro matrimonio.<\/p>\n

The list was really extensive, and as I was reading it, I realized how toxic her in-laws must be. If you\u2019re going through the same, it\u2019s important to <\/b>fissare i confini<\/b> con loro.<\/b><\/p>\n

Informateli sulle cose che non sono accettabili e stabilite delle regole di base per quanto riguarda i vostri figli (se ne avete) e le visite.<\/p>\n

Tell them that you won\u2019t tolerate talking behind your back or other toxic behaviors. Setting healthy boundaries is a must.<\/p>\n

2. Separarsi dai suoceri<\/h3>\n

If you live under the same roof as your toxic in-laws, then it\u2019s time to separate yourself from them. I understand that this is easier said than done, and there are many factors to consider.<\/p>\n

Forse non avete un posto dove andare a causa della vostra situazione finanziaria. Oppure avete bisogno di stare con i vostri suoceri per aiutarli a superare la malattia.<\/p>\n

Qualunque sia il motivo, cercate di trovare la soluzione migliore che vi permetta di separarvi finalmente dai suoceri.<\/b> Living in your own household will certainly reduce their impact on your marriage. Trust me, it\u2019s two different worlds.<\/p>\n

3. Parlatene con il vostro partner<\/h3>\n

As always, topics regarding your in-laws should be discussed with your partner. If you aren\u2019t sure how to start this sensitive topic, try something like:<\/p>\n

\u201cDear husband\/wife, I know you love your parents, but I\u2019m having a <\/i>tempo difficile<\/i> dealing with their constant criticism and interference in our marriage.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Essere un <\/b>fronte unito<\/b> with your partner because that\u2019s the most effective way to deal with these issues.<\/b> Fate un brainstorming insieme sui problemi con i suoceri e sulle possibili soluzioni.<\/p>\n

Assicuratevi che entrambi siate d'accordo sul fatto che prendere le distanze o non avere contatti sia una buona idea.<\/p>\n

4. Creare un programma e rispettarlo<\/h3>\n

\"la<\/p>\n

Prendere le distanze dai suoceri significa creare un programma di eventi familiari come cene di famiglia, picnic, ecc. Si pu\u00f2 limitare la frequentazione casuale e vederli solo in occasione delle grandi riunioni di famiglia.<\/p>\n

Once you create a schedule, stick to it. Also, your in-laws should respect your decisions as a couple because you wouldn\u2019t be doing this in the first place if they had respected you before.<\/p>\n

5. Staccarsi dal loro comportamento<\/h3>\n

Questa \u00e8 probabilmente una delle cose pi\u00f9 importanti quando si tratta di distaccarsi dai suoceri. Invece di staccarsi da loro solo fisicamente, bisogna staccarsi anche mentalmente.<\/p>\n

Ci\u00f2 significa che \u00e8 necessario <\/b>lasciarsi andare<\/b> of their hatred and negative energy. Don\u2019t let their toxic behavior influence your <\/b>autostima<\/b> e <\/b>benessere<\/b>.<\/b> Don\u2019t even bother calling them bad people or criticizing them face-to-face.<\/p>\n

Detach yourself from their behavior and try not to take it personally. Remember that their behavior has nothing to do with you but the internal struggles they\u2019re dealing with.<\/p>\n

6. Applicare la regola del non contatto (se necessario)<\/h3>\n

Quando la mia migliore amica ha dovuto affrontare il suo suocera narcisista<\/a>, il suocero e la cognata, era davvero devastata.<\/p>\n

Ha provato ogni singolo metodo, compreso quello di porre dei limiti (ad esempio, riducendo le <\/b>trascorrere il tempo<\/b> con loro), ma non ha funzionato nulla.<\/b><\/p>\n

Per questo motivo, si rese conto che applicare la regola del divieto di contatto era la scelta migliore.<\/p>\n

Lei <\/b>altro significativo<\/b> all'inizio esitava a farlo, ma poi ha capito che era l'unica soluzione. <\/b>They didn\u2019t regret their decision because, after a while, their in-laws changed for the better.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re in the same situation, don\u2019t hesitate to cut all contact. After some time, you can reconnect with them again to see if anything has changed. If not, then continue with the no contact rule.<\/p>\n

4 cose da tenere a mente quando si prendono le distanze dai parenti acquisiti<\/h2>\n

\"due<\/p>\n

So, you decided to distance yourself from your in-laws, but you\u2019re not 100% sure about it. There\u2019s still that little voice inside your head telling you: \u201cMaybe you shouldn\u2019t do this.\u201d The following tips will help you make the right choice:<\/p>\n

1. Assicuratevi di conoscere prima i vostri suoceri<\/h3>\n

Before distancing yourself from in-laws, make sure you get to know them first. You know what they say: \u201cDon\u2019t judge a book by its cover.\u201d<\/p>\n

Assicuratevi invece di trascorrere un certo periodo di tempo con i vostri suoceri prima di decidere di separarvi o di prendere le distanze da loro.<\/b><\/p>\n

Maybe they aren\u2019t persone tossiche<\/a> by default, but they\u2019re just going through a tough period. However, if they\u2019ve mistreated you for some time, there is no excuse for that behavior.<\/p>\n

ALLARME CLICHE:<\/b> Ascoltate sempre il vostro istinto (e consultate il vostro partner).<\/p>\n

If your partner agrees with you, then you know you\u2019re not imagining things, and distancing is probably the right thing to do.<\/p>\n

2. Understand and respect your in-laws\u2019 differences<\/h3>\n

Keep in mind that every family has different family dynamics. What\u2019s normal in your family may not be normal in your spouse’s family.<\/p>\n

Because of that, it\u2019s important to understand and respect your differences. Still, this doesn\u2019t mean you should tolerate their terrible behavior toward you and your partner.<\/b><\/p>\n

Learn the difference between differences that can be respected and crappy behavior that shouldn\u2019t be tolerated. Sometimes there\u2019s a thin line between the two.<\/p>\n

3. Avete una famiglia con il vostro coniuge<\/h3>\n

Remember that you and your spouse are your own family. (That\u2019s probably one of the greatest pieces of consigli sul matrimonio<\/a> out there.) This means you shouldn\u2019t let other in-laws be active participants in your everyday decision-making.<\/p>\n

Dovete proteggere il vostro matrimonio da qualsiasi interferenza indesiderata da parte di altri. Questo \u00e8 un aspetto che molte coppie dimenticano, soprattutto se hanno avuto<\/b> genitori iperprotettivi<\/b><\/a> who turn out to be \u201coverprotective in-laws.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

In a way, they\u2019ve gotten used to their parents deciding things in their life, so now, they don\u2019t know how to detach from this behavior. They need to keep in mind that constantly interfering with other people (be it negative or not) is not normal.<\/p>\n

4. Se tutto il resto fallisce, consultare un professionista della salute mentale.<\/h3>\n

If you\u2019ve tried distancing yourself from your in-laws or going no contact with them, but it all failed, then maybe it\u2019s time to seek professional help.<\/p>\n

Ci sono molti <\/b>relazione familiare<\/b> e <\/b>vita matrimoniale<\/b> therapists who can give you plenty of helpful advice and ways to deal with the situation you\u2019re in.<\/b><\/p>\n

You and your spouse deserve a happy union, so you shouldn\u2019t stop at the first obstacle and let your in-laws continue destroying your happiness and marriage.<\/p>\n

If all else fails, consult a mental health professional, and I\u2019m sure that everything will be fine.<\/p>\n

Pensieri finali<\/h2>\n

Distancing yourself from in-laws is a sensitive topic in itself because some in-laws can be so challenging that even distancing won\u2019t help.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, non avete nulla da perdere se provate il metodo dell'allontanamento, perch\u00e9 conosco personalmente molte coppie che lo hanno trovato utile.<\/b><\/p>\n

A volte, anche il no contact \u00e8 inevitabile. Vi auguro la migliore fortuna e che possiate godere di un matrimonio felice, come \u00e8 giusto che sia!<\/p>\n

\"Prendere<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I always say that marrying someone also means marrying their friends and family. Well, the worst-case scenario in that situation would be ending up with toxic IN-LAWS. I\u2019m sure Jennifer Lopez still has PTSD from making the movie Monster-In-Law, which perfectly depicts how toxic (and funny) relationships with in-laws can be. Don\u2019t get me wrong….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":152226,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-152223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/Distancing-Yourself-From-In-Laws-Should-You-Do-It-And-How-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152223\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/152226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}