{"id":160112,"date":"2022-11-15T13:53:54","date_gmt":"2022-11-15T13:53:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=160112"},"modified":"2022-11-15T13:54:01","modified_gmt":"2022-11-15T13:54:01","slug":"mamma-che-non-mi-voleva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/mamma-che-non-mi-voleva\/","title":{"rendered":"Alla mamma che non mi ha voluto"},"content":{"rendered":"

Caro straniero,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t be surprised because I can\u2019t call you \u201cmom.\u201d Let\u2019s face it, you were never a mother to me. This hurts to admit, but you were nothing but a stranger to me for as long as I could remember. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For years, I kept trying to find excuses for you. I tried justifying you for not loving me. I kept looking for reasons why you couldn\u2019t be there when I needed you the most.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

E poi sono cresciuto. <\/span>And I faced the most painful truth in my life: you didn\u2019t want me. You know what they say, \u201cIf you wanted to, you would.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are no hidden reasons behind it. There is no big conspiracy behind your departure. You won\u2019t show up at my doorstep, explaining why you were away all those years. You didn\u2019t want me, and that\u2019s the whole story. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But guess what: for the first time in my life, I don\u2019t care if you want me now. <\/span>Because this time, I am the one who doesn\u2019t want you. Yes, you heard it right.<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The little girl who was crying herself to sleep every night is long gone. The girl who kept asking herself why she wasn\u2019t worthy of her mother\u2019s love is dead. You killed her. And thank you for doing so.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All of this time, I thought that I wasn\u2019t enough. I mean,<\/span> if my own mother couldn\u2019t get herself to love me, who could?<\/b> How could I expect a man to think of me as worthy if you didn\u2019t? Most importantly, how could I love myself if the person who brought me into this world didn\u2019t see any good in me?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I couldn\u2019t get you to stay by my side, how could I do anything right in this life? There was clearly something wrong with me\u2013 something that chased you away all those years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Riuscite a immaginare una bambina alle prese con tutti questi pensieri? Una bambina con tutte queste domande, senza una risposta in vista? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dopo un po' di tempo, volevo solo risposte. Volevo una sorta di chiusura.<\/span> I wanted you to look me straight in the eyes and tell me why you didn\u2019t want me. Wasn\u2019t there any part of me that could make you love me?<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ma quando sono cresciuta, <\/span>I realized it wasn\u2019t me\u2013 it was you all along. You\u2019re the flawed one.<\/b> And I\u2019m not saying this because I hate you or because I want to hurt you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

La verit\u00e0 \u00e8 che mi dispiace per voi. <\/span>No, I didn\u2019t forgive you, and I don\u2019t think I ever will. Even if I could get myself to do it, the little girl who craved you can never forgive you for not being there.<\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ma mi fai pena. Perch\u00e9 sai una cosa? <\/span>It\u2019s your loss.<\/b> No, questa non \u00e8 solo una frase vuota che uso per consolarmi. Hai perso davvero molto quando hai deciso di non far parte della mia vita.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re not here to see it, but I became an amazing woman and a magnificent human being. Look, I\u2019ve made it! I\u2019ve succeeded without your help. So, you\u2019re the one who lost.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, you weren\u2019t there on my first day of school, but you didn\u2019t have the chance to see me graduate college either. You weren\u2019t there to help me choose the perfect outfit for my first date or to wipe away my tears after my massive heartbreak. You weren\u2019t there to hold me in your lap and to tell me everything will be okay. But you didn\u2019t get to see me walk down the aisle either. You weren\u2019t there to wish me \u201cgood luck\u201d before my first job interview. But you weren\u2019t there to see me get that promotion I dreamt about, either. You weren\u2019t there to teach me how to be a woman, but you won\u2019t get to meet your grandchildren either. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bottom line is that you\u2019ve lost a great human being. I could have been your daughter and your best friend\u2013 if you had just given me a chance. <\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong\u2013 I\u2019m not saying I am perfect. I\u2019m sure you would have had a lot on your plate raising me. But that\u2019s what motherhood is all about, isn\u2019t it? After all, you chose to have me\u2013 I never asked to be born. And I definitely didn\u2019t ask to be left like I meant nothing. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And what did I lose? Well, from this point of view, I think I\u2019ve actually gained much more than I lost.<\/span> I lost a selfish, horrible person who doesn\u2019t care about her flesh and blood, let alone anyone else. Who needs someone like that in their life?<\/b> Is there anything worse than a human being who leaves the fruit of her own womb behind? Even wild beasts don\u2019t do that. As much as it hurts to say this, sometimes I think I\u2019m lucky not to have had such a role model around. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, I think I should thank you for walking away from me when I was little. If it weren\u2019t for that, I would have never turned out to be the strong woman I am today. <\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you hadn\u2019t left me, I wouldn\u2019t have learned how to rely on myself. I wouldn\u2019t have been so careful when it came to letting new people into my life. I wouldn\u2019t have tried hard to succeed\u2013 just to prove to you that I could do it, without you around. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

La tua partenza mi ha fatto affrontare i miei demoni pi\u00f9 spaventosi. Ma mi ha anche fatto capire che sono amabile, che sono degna e che sono abbastanza brava. <\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you showed me what kind of mother I should never become. You leaving me made me love my children even more and helped me become a better mother to them. You know, I just want to give them everything I didn\u2019t have growing up. No, I\u2019m not talking about money\u2013 I\u2019m talking about more valuable things, such as attention, respect, time, effort, and, most importantly, love. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So please, don\u2019t come crawling back into my life because you\u2019re not welcome here. You weren\u2019t around while I was building it from scratch, and I definitely don\u2019t need you now. <\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t try calling me when you get old and when guilt knocks on your door. <\/span>Don\u2019t ask for my help when you need someone to take care of you. Guess what, I was helpless once, too, and you didn\u2019t give a damn about it.<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t even think of asking for my forgiveness. No matter what you do, you can\u2019t go back in time and erase all the years of your absence and neglect. Your \u201csorry\u201d doesn\u2019t mean anything now, and it never will. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t expect me to help you wash away your sins. Portate la vostra croce come io ho portato il mio dolore per tutti questi anni.<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Stranger, Don\u2019t be surprised because I can\u2019t call you \u201cmom.\u201d Let\u2019s face it, you were never a mother to me. This hurts to admit, but you were nothing but a stranger to me for as long as I could remember.  For years, I kept trying to find excuses for you. I tried justifying you…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":160113,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-160112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/To-The-Mom-Who-Didnt-Want-Me-1024x678.jpg",1024,678,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":317,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":317,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/160112","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=160112"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/160112\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/160113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=160112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=160112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=160112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}