{"id":162533,"date":"2023-03-06T09:33:10","date_gmt":"2023-03-06T09:33:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=162533"},"modified":"2023-03-06T09:33:18","modified_gmt":"2023-03-06T09:33:18","slug":"perche-i-figli-non-possono-perdonare-una-madre-tossica","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/perche-i-figli-non-possono-perdonare-una-madre-tossica\/","title":{"rendered":"6 motivi per cui i figli non possono mai perdonare una madre tossica"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Perch\u00e9 sei sempre in camera tua?&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>You\u2019ll never be good enough if you keep acting like that!&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>You know how much I\u2019ve sacrificed for you, and you still won\u2019t forgive me?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ogni madre tossica ha usato queste parole almeno una volta nella vita.<\/strong> And everybody says: \u2018\u2019Forgive her, you need to forgive her if you want to move on,\u2019\u2019 so you constantly work toward that forgiveness.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ma nessuno parla di quanto possa essere difficile perdonare qualcuno che ha rovinato la tua infanzia. <strong>S\u00ec, non potranno mai restituirvi le lacrime, il tempo che avete perso, ma quando la perdonate, vi fate il dono della pace.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, I\u2019m also aware that some of you struggle to do so. In the minutes that follow, we&#8217;ll go over the reasons why this is so.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-she-ruined-your-self-esteem\">1. Ha rovinato la vostra autostima<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1067\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom.jpg\" alt=\"Triste giovane donna che tocca il viso guardando la sua pelle nello specchio del bagno\" class=\"wp-image-162537\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom-960x640.jpg 960w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom-1080x720.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Sad-Young-Woman-Touching-Face-Looking-At-Her-Skin-In-Mirror-At-Bathroom-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>When a toxic mother mistreats you, you don\u2019t stop loving her &#8211; you stop loving yourself.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Una delle cose pi\u00f9 difficili da superare sono le conseguenze dell'essere cresciuti da una madre tossica.<\/strong> If you\u2019ve been humiliated by your mother during childhood, it can result in low self-esteem in adult life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve experienced this kind of treatment from your mother, you know how it can be incredibly damaging to your sense of self-worth. You\u2019ve become withdrawn and isolated, and feel shame or guilt even years later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Per farla breve: <strong>she didn\u2019t ruin only your childhood, but your adulthood as well. <\/strong>Queste cose sono difficili da perdonare.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-the-never-ending-manipulation\">2. La manipolazione infinita<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There is nothing worse than having a toxic mother in your life. Constant manipulation, control and criticism start making you feel like you\u2019re not good enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Playing the victim in every scenario was her greatest weapon that you as a child couldn&#8217;t figure out. <strong>Ti ha fatto credere che era l\u00ec per te nei tuoi momenti pi\u00f9 bui, quando in realt\u00e0 era lei a creare quei momenti bui.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Esprimere le proprie emozioni? Avere un'opinione? Crescendo queste due cose non sono mai state un'opzione.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Il modo in cui una madre tossica pu\u00f2 usare la manipolazione e la critica per controllarvi pu\u00f2 essere visto nel libro di memorie <em>I\u2019m Glad My Mother Died <\/em>di Jennet McCurdy, per cui vi consigliamo di darci un'occhiata.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-she-hated-how-different-you-are\">3. She hated how \u2018\u2019different\u2019\u2019 you are<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1067\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother..jpg\" alt=\"Discussione tra la figlia adolescente asiatica infastidita e la madre di mezz&#039;et\u00e0 sconvolta.\" class=\"wp-image-162538\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother..jpg 1600w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother.-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother.-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother.-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother.-960x640.jpg 960w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother.-1080x720.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother.-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Argument-between-annoyed-Asian-teenage-daughter-and-upset-middle-aged-mother.-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>We live in a world where the beauty of life is in its diversity. It\u2019s not only okay that you\u2019re different, it\u2019s, in fact, desirable.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>However, your toxic mother didn\u2019t think so.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019d thought she would always love you no matter who you love, but that wasn\u2019t the case, was it? She didn\u2019t want to see the value in her own child\u2019s uniqueness and saw it as a threat to her own identity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ha sempre pensato al vecchio, noioso <\/strong><strong><em>\u2018\u2019What will people say?\u2019\u2019 <\/em><\/strong><strong>e non ha mai pensato a te e alle cose che stavi passando.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vi odiava perch\u00e9 eravate diversi. Chi pu\u00f2 pensare che sia facile per voi perdonarla?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-a-legacy-of-trauma\">4. Un'eredit\u00e0 di traumi<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>La triste realt\u00e0 \u00e8 che molti bambini subiscono abusi fisici, mentali e psicologici per mano della propria madre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Queste cicatrici sono spesso le pi\u00f9 difficili da guarire.<strong> <\/strong><strong>La violenza fisica e la manipolazione emotiva sono i suoi strumenti d'elezione, che vi fanno sentire completamente impotenti e feriti.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ogni volta che hai cercato di farti valere, ti ha portato solo pi\u00f9 dolore e sofferenza. Vivevate nella costante paura della sua ira, temendo ogni giorno la sua presenza nella vostra vita.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The physical abuse you\u2019ve been through was hard &#8211; <strong>l'emotivit\u00e0 era ancora peggiore.<\/strong> Vi ha criticato, controllato e manipolato e ha cercato di isolarvi dai vostri amici e dalla vostra famiglia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, yes, you\u2019ve suffered from her abuse and neglect for far too long to simply forgive her on a random Thursday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-living-with-a-toxic-mother-s-guilt-and-shame\">5. Living with a toxic mother&#8217;s guilt and shame<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1068\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight.jpg\" alt=\"madre e figlia evitano di parlare dopo un litigio\" class=\"wp-image-162539\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight-1024x684.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight-960x641.jpg 960w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight-1080x721.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight-1200x801.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/mother-and-daughter-avoid-talking-after-a-fight-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Crescendo si aveva sempre la sensazione di camminare su un guscio d'uovo con lei. Non sapevi mai quando sarebbe esplosa o cosa avevi fatto di male. Quindi ti sentivi costantemente come se la stessi deludendo e ti sei portato dietro il senso di colpa e la vergogna fino all'et\u00e0 adulta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She never noticed all the things you did, only what you didn\u2019t.<strong> Per molti di noi, l'esperienza di una madre tossica pu\u00f2 lasciare la sensazione di non poterla mai perdonare per il dolore che ha causato.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Non importa quanto tempo passi, il dolore pu\u00f2 persistere e farci sentire come se non potessimo mai andare avanti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ci hanno incolpato dei loro problemi, facendoci sentire in colpa per ogni nostro successo e poi facendoci sentire in colpa per rimanere in una relazione malsana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Questi sentimenti di colpa e di vergogna possono essere un grosso ostacolo alla crescita personale e alla ricerca della vera felicit\u00e0 e non potr\u00f2 mai perdonare mia madre per averlo fatto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-6-her-refusal-to-show-love-and-affection\">6. Il suo rifiuto di mostrare amore e affetto<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I know how lack of love from my mom created an avalanche of side-effects later in my adulthood\u2026<strong>Costantemente alla ricerca dell'amore ovunque lo trovassi, squilibrio emotivo e bassa autostima<\/strong> &#8211; those are all the things happening inside of me right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So come vi sentite. Questa lotta \u00e8 reale e riguarda ogni aspetto della vostra vita, ogni giorno. Quindi ora ti senti poco amabile.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know that this feeling of being unlovable became deeply embedded in your psyche. So not only do you have little confidence in yourself, you feel like no one\u2019s ever going to love you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ll always be thankful to your mother for everything else, but you will never forgive her for acting like this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-final-thoughts\">Pensieri finali<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1068\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother.jpg\" alt=\"donna torna a rivolgersi alla madre tossica\" class=\"wp-image-162540\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother-1024x684.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother-960x641.jpg 960w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother-1080x721.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother-1200x801.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/woman-turns-back-to-toxic-mother-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Prima di tutto, voglio che sappiate che non siete soli.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many people have been through similar struggles, and it&#8217;s important to understand that you can still have a healthy and happy life despite the pain your mother has caused.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Capisco perch\u00e9 sentiate di non poter mai perdonare la vostra madre tossica. L'impatto delle sue azioni<\/strong><strong> ha lasciato ferite profonde che potrebbero non guarire mai.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As a child who also has a toxic mother,&nbsp; I may not be able to forgive her, but I can learn from her mistakes. I can make sure I&#8217;m not as controlling or manipulative as she was. I can try my best to never be a mother like her.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>However, keep in mind that forgiveness is not for the other person\u2026<\/strong>Beh, loro ne traggono beneficio, ma il perdono \u00e8 per voi. Perch\u00e9?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Portarsi dietro questo bagaglio mentale non fa che appesantirvi.&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Liberarsi del bagaglio mentale aiuta a volare.&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-tiktok wp-block-embed-tiktok\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@nerdytravelingwriter\/video\/6915088785134849286\" data-video-id=\"6915088785134849286\" data-embed-from=\"oembed\" style=\"max-width:605px; min-width:325px;\"> <section> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"@nerdytravelingwriter\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@nerdytravelingwriter?refer=embed\" rel=\"noopener\">@nerdytravelingwriter<\/a> <p>Rispondi a @hussar.nole <a title=\"genitore tossico\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/toxicparent?refer=embed\" rel=\"noopener\">#toxicparent<\/a> <a title=\"perdono\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/forgiveness?refer=embed\" rel=\"noopener\">#per il perdono<\/a> <a title=\"perdonare\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/forgive?refer=embed\" rel=\"noopener\">#perdonare<\/a><\/p> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"\u266c Afterglow - Ed Sheeran\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/Afterglow-6907566405198841857?refer=embed\" rel=\"noopener\">\u266c Afterglow &#8211; Ed Sheeran<\/a> <\/section> <\/blockquote> <script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why are you always in your room?&nbsp; You\u2019ll never be good enough if you keep acting like that!&nbsp; You know how much I\u2019ve sacrificed for you, and you still won\u2019t forgive me? Every toxic mother used these words at least once in their life. And everybody says: \u2018\u2019Forgive her, you need to forgive her if&#8230;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":162541,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-162533","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&amp;family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/6-Reasons-Why-Children-Can-Never-Forgive-A-Toxic-Mother-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&amp;family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&amp;family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162533","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=162533"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162533\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/162541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=162533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=162533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=162533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}