Matthew says that we all have certain expectations and it\u2019s not hard to maintain them around people we don\u2019t like. However, everything changes in another scenario:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cWhen it comes to someone we really want, that is usually the moment that we drop our standards and lose sight of any boundaries we once had.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Just think about it. If a guy you were meeting up with already got a minus because he\u2019s a bad texter and then he shows up late, looking all crusty and musty, you wouldn\u2019t think twice about it. It would be una rottura immediata dell'accordo<\/strong> e non si sarebbe mai fatto sentire (si spera). <\/p>\n\n\n\nMa quando si tratta di un ragazzo carino che ti piace e delle sue bandiere rosse, suddenly you\u2019re color blind! <\/strong>It\u2019s like magic, I know!<\/p>\n\n\n\nSecondo Matteo, agendo in questo modo finiamo per danneggiare solo noi stessi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perch\u00e9 perdere i nostri confini \u00e8 pericoloso?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n Il dating coach ha scritto nella didascalia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cThis situation is especially dangerous for people who have a more anxious attachment style and tend to respond to relationship uncertainty by bending over backward to keep someone happy.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Egli chiama questo \u201cfawning\u201d<\/em>Un momento in cui si fa di tutto per evitare la possibilit\u00e0 di perdere qualcuno o quando si vuole fare colpo su di lui. We basically become a doormat just so we don\u2019t end up alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nMatteo lo spiega dicendo che:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cNow, when we have the fawn response, we typically give too much. Certainly, we give more than is earned and is not reciprocal, i.e. we\u2019re giving more than they are. But we also fail to advocate for our needs, to truly speak our mind.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Dice inoltre che Dare senza sosta senza ricevere nulla in cambio \u00e8 davvero dannoso per noi. <\/strong>Inoltre, non chiedere ci\u00f2 di cui abbiamo bisogno o dire come ci sentiamo non \u00e8 molto meglio.<\/p>\n\n\n\nOh, cavolo, mi suona familiare. Una volta c'era un ragazzo che mi faceva perdere completamente la testa e mi faceva venire le farfalle nello stomaco ogni volta che pensavo a lui. Ho cercato in tutti i modi di tenerlo con me e di renderlo felice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gli ho scritto lettere d'amore, gli ho fatto una sorpresa a mezzanotte per il suo compleanno e in pratica gli sono sempre stata vicina per aiutarlo in qualsiasi cosa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t do even 1% of the things I did for him<\/strong> ma <\/strong>Non ho mai detto nulla perch\u00e9 volevo che la nostra relazione durasse e credevo sinceramente che qualcosa sarebbe cambiato.<\/p>\n\n\n\nNeedless to say, things didn\u2019t really work out and Ho sentito di aver sprecato tempo ed energie.<\/strong> on someone who didn\u2019t even care. <\/p>\n\n\n\nBut yeah, Matthew said what we all kind of knew at the back of our minds but didn\u2019t want to admit. He is really great at putting it all together in a simple way. Someone wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s true. The moment I felt myself getting attached, it\u2019s like nothing else mattered anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Un altro fan ha commentato:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cOoofff so true. Gives new meaning to the saying, \u2018the thought of him\/her makes me weak\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
So what have we learned? Love is a beautiful thing when it doesn\u2019t cost you your well-being. We all want that perfect love story but as Matthew Hussey says, piegarsi per compiacere qualcuno pu\u00f2 solo portare a risentimento e delusione.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nBut no worries! It doesn\u2019t have to be this way. Just stay aware of your boundaries even when falling for someone and don\u2019t forget your standards!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guardate l'intero video su YouTube per altri utili consigli!<\/p>\n\n\n\n