{"id":16670,"date":"2020-06-20T13:08:16","date_gmt":"2020-06-20T13:08:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=16670"},"modified":"2022-02-21T18:51:01","modified_gmt":"2022-02-21T18:51:01","slug":"ho-smesso-di-inseguirti-per-dimostrarti-che-ti-amo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/ho-smesso-di-inseguirti-per-dimostrarti-che-ti-amo\/","title":{"rendered":"Ho smesso di inseguirti per dimostrarti che ti amo"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pensavo di aver trovato l'amore. Pensavo di aver finalmente finito di cercare l'amore della mia vita. Pensavo di avere tutto, ma mi sono resa conto di non avere proprio nulla.<\/span><\/p>\n

All'inizio provavo quell'eccitazione prima di vederti. <\/span><\/p>\n

Il mio cuore ha corso all'impazzata quando il mio telefono ha suonato e il tuo nome \u00e8 apparso sullo schermo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ma quella sensazione \u00e8 andata lentamente scemando con il passare del tempo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ho avuto la sensazione che invece di avvicinarti a me, ti stessi allontanando da me. Ho avuto la sensazione Ho dovuto inseguirti per sentirmi amata<\/a>. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

It turns out it wasn\u2019t just a feeling. It was really happening. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

At first, I was so happy that I had finally found someone who got me and with whom I could be myself. I didn\u2019t have to pretend to be someone else for you to love me. <\/span><\/p>\n

I could do whatever I felt like and I wasn\u2019t judged. I wasn\u2019t manipulated into doing something that I hated, I wasn\u2019t controlled. <\/span><\/p>\n

At least that\u2019s what I thought but I was so mistaken, I was so manipulated.  <\/span><\/p>\n

That is the ugliest side of control and manipulation. You can\u2019t detect it and it consumes you and turns you into a person you don\u2019t want to be. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

And when you realize it, it\u2019s too late, you\u2019ve already been trapped. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

You were that person who convinced me you\u2019d be there when I fell, you swore you\u2019d never try to change me because you loved me the way I was. <\/span><\/p>\n

Hai detto che saresti stato onesto con me perch\u00e9 era l'unico modo <\/span>la nostra relazione sarebbe sopravvissuta<\/span><\/a>, ma lei ha fatto l'esatto contrario. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi hai fatto credere che stavi facendo tutte queste cose, mentre in realt\u00e0 mi hai avvolto intorno al tuo piccolo dito e mi hai fatto tutto quello che volevi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mi hai costretto a inseguirti e a implorare il tuo amore. Non ti perdoner\u00f2 mai per questo, n\u00e9 lo dimenticher\u00f2. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I know I won\u2019t be able to forget you either, at least not that soon. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ma vi giuro che un giorno ci riuscir\u00f2. Cercher\u00f2 con tutte le mie forze di dimenticare tutti quei piccoli momenti che abbiamo vissuto e che valeva la pena ricordare, perch\u00e9 li abbiamo vissuti. <\/span><\/p>\n

Anche in quella relazione abusiva, in tutta quella tossicit\u00e0, ci sono stati momenti in cui ho pensato davvero che tu mi amassi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Even if you didn\u2019t, I\u2019ll deliberately lie to myself and think that you did. It\u2019s easier that way. It\u2019s easier to think I meant at least one tiny bit to you.  <\/span><\/p>\n

I swear to you, that after some time, you\u2019re going to be nothing more than just an experience, a lesson that I paid a lot for, a mistake that will never happen again. <\/span><\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t deserve even to stay in my mind, you didn\u2019t deserve not one tear that I shed for you, but I did it anyway because I was hurt, because I fell for your dirty <\/span>giochi mentali<\/span><\/a>. Non per colpa tua.  <\/span><\/p>\n

But it\u2019s okay now. Now I\u2019ve realized I won\u2019t be chasing you anymore. I won\u2019t be chasing anyone. I realized I don\u2019t need to beg for attention, to beg for love. <\/span><\/p>\n

I realized you never loved me and that\u2019s fine. It\u2019s not fine that you lied instead of telling me and letting me go. <\/span><\/p>\n

Avresti potuto liberarmi. Avrebbe fatto meno male di adesso. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

My love for you should have been enough. You didn\u2019t have to ask for anything else. But since you never loved me, you didn\u2019t appreciate my love, so you wanted more. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi hai chiesto sempre di pi\u00f9, finch\u00e9 non ho capito che ti stavi solo approfittando di me, lasciandomi triste, non amata e svuotata emotivamente. <\/span><\/p>\n

I gave you chances to prove yourself, to prove to me that you cared, that you wanted us to last. You blew it because you didn\u2019t give a damn and now I\u2019m glad you didn\u2019t. <\/span><\/p>\n

Soon, you\u2019re going to vanish from my mind and I will be able to go on living my life like I never met you, like I never made that mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"HO<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I thought I found love. I thought I was finally done searching for the love of my life. I thought I had everything but I realized I had nothing at all. At first, I was feeling that excitement before I was about to see you. My heart raced like crazy when my phone buzzed and…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":16674,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29618],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moving-on"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29618,"label":"moving on"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/farica-yang-311620-unsplash-1.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29618,"name":"moving on","slug":"moving-on","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29618,"taxonomy":"category","description":"When nothing else works - inspiring stories about moving on are bound to help you let go of people and situations you never thought you could live without.\r\n","parent":38,"count":200,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29618,"category_count":200,"category_description":"When nothing else works - inspiring stories about moving on are bound to help you let go of people and situations you never thought you could live without.\r\n","cat_name":"moving on","category_nicename":"moving-on","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16670\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16674"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}