{"id":16730,"date":"2019-10-21T09:39:14","date_gmt":"2019-10-21T09:39:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=16730"},"modified":"2022-02-05T15:52:06","modified_gmt":"2022-02-05T15:52:06","slug":"mi-rifiuto-di-continuare-a-fingere-di-stare-bene-perche-sto-cadendo-a-pezzi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/mi-rifiuto-di-continuare-a-fingere-di-stare-bene-perche-sto-cadendo-a-pezzi\/","title":{"rendered":"Mi rifiuto di continuare a fingere di stare bene perch\u00e9 sto cadendo a pezzi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ogni giorno \u00e8 una lotta, una lotta costante che non finisce mai. In qualche modo lo supero e poi mi sveglio al mattino depresso e distrutto perch\u00e9 devo rifare tutto da capo.<\/p>\n

La situazione peggiora di minuto in minuto. Emotivamente<\/a>, I\u2019m a wreck and it looks like I won\u2019t get better any time soon.<\/p>\n

I really don\u2019t know how much more pain I can take. Every day I think that was it, I\u2019ve reached my breaking point, but the next day surprises me and I sink even lower.<\/p>\n

Sento ancora pi\u00f9 dolore, che pensavo fosse impossibile provare.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been hurt before and I\u2019ve made it, I\u2019ve healed\u2026 but it was never like this before. This time it goes on and on. It doesn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like I\u2019ve been knocked down to the ground and as I\u2019m about to get up, something kicks me even harder and I fall again. Only, every next time, it takes so much more strength for me to try and get up again.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been so stressed. I\u2019ve never been this anxious. <\/a>I\u2019m afraid to leave the house.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid to talk to people. I\u2019m afraid to show my face in public because if I do I will only feel even more pain, the pain that refuses to go away.<\/p>\n

I knew how to handle my problems in the past. I was hurting but I didn\u2019t want anyone to know that. I was so good at concealing it.<\/p>\n

I would make jokes about it, I would laugh, but that didn\u2019t mean I was fine. My face was smiling but my eyes cried heavy tears.<\/p>\n

The thing is, no one saw it, which was fine because I didn\u2019t need anyone\u2019s support. I could have handled it.<\/p>\n

But now, it\u2019s different. I\u2019ve lost all my energy, I\u2019ve lost strength and the will to keep fighting for the future. The only thing I didn\u2019t lose is hope.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Anche se la vita mi ha colpito in faccia e mi ha buttato a terra, credo ancora che ci sia un futuro migliore ad attendermi.<\/p>\n

I still believe that I will overcome this even though the pain seems like it\u2019s never-ending.<\/p>\n

Things are not fine today but although I know they aren\u2019t going to be fine tomorrow either, I can hope that the next morning, the room I wake up in is going to shine brighter and the curtains on my window are going to be bright green and not gray and dull. I can only hope.<\/p>\n

\"Mi<\/p>\n

La speranza \u00e8 ci\u00f2 che mi fa respirare.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sapete cosa sta succedendo ora. Ora la gente comincia a notare che I\u2019m not fine<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Mi impegno a fondo, come ho fatto in passato, ma questa volta ci vuole molto tempo per migliorare, quindi il mio comportamento attira l'attenzione.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t just stop the world from turning. I have to go to work, I have to stay in touch with my friends, and I just can\u2019t cut myself off from it.<\/p>\n

E quando trascorro cos\u00ec tanto tempo all'aperto, rotto<\/a> Se mi accontento di una cifra cos\u00ec alta, la gente deve iniziare a notarlo, per quanto io cerchi di nasconderlo.<\/p>\n

I miei amici stanno cercando di aiutarmi e io ho accettato il loro aiuto, ma non \u00e8 cambiato nulla.<\/p>\n

They comfort me with their kind words and I feel better but after seeing them, I return home to my colorless world, all alone, and I\u2019m not fine. I\u2019m falling apart and no one can help me.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t expect for them to be there for me every minute of the day. It would be selfish of me to expect them to jump every time I have an anxiety attack or when I feel like my world has collapsed on top of me.<\/p>\n

I will suffocate them with my problems and it\u2019s only a matter of time when they will get sick of hearing how I\u2019m falling apart.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t help it. I don\u2019t have a button to push for when I decide I\u2019m going to be fine. I wish I did. Then life wouldn\u2019t be so fucking hard.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not okay but sometimes some days are less horrible than others. Sometimes, my pillow is not soaking wet with my tears.<\/p>\n

A volte la mia stanza diventa pi\u00f9 luminosa solo per un secondo.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not okay because life has destroyed me. I\u2019m not okay because everything sucks. I\u2019m not okay because I forgot how to smile.<\/p>\n

\"MI<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every day is a struggle, a constant fight that never ends. I somehow get through it and then I wake up in the morning depressed and broken because I have to do it all over again. It gets worse and worse with every passing minute. Emotionally, I\u2019m a wreck and it looks like I won\u2019t…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":16732,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29617],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16730","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-heartbreak"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29617,"label":"heartbreak"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/joanna-nix-558203-unsplash.jpg",800,569,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29617,"name":"heartbreak","slug":"heartbreak","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29617,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Recovering after having your heart broken is tough. That's why I've decided to collect different stories of heartbreak - to help everyone going through the same.","parent":38,"count":146,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29617,"category_count":146,"category_description":"Recovering after having your heart broken is tough. That's why I've decided to collect different stories of heartbreak - to help everyone going through the same.","cat_name":"heartbreak","category_nicename":"heartbreak","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16730","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16730"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16730\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16732"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16730"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16730"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16730"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}