{"id":17498,"date":"2020-07-11T11:43:39","date_gmt":"2020-07-11T11:43:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=17498"},"modified":"2021-08-12T11:43:14","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T11:43:14","slug":"su-come-superare-un-manipolatore-tossico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/su-come-superare-un-manipolatore-tossico\/","title":{"rendered":"Come superare un manipolatore tossico"},"content":{"rendered":"

Questa \u00e8 stata la cosa peggiore che mi sia capitata in tutta la mia vita. Quel maledetto momento in cui l'ho incontrato, in cui i nostri occhi si sono incrociati. <\/span><\/p>\n

Avresti pensato che la nostra storia sarebbe stata un momento hollywoodiano e che il nostro amore sarebbe diventato eterno e indissolubile.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, something became eternal after that relationship and that was my hatred toward him. Instead of living the most beautiful days of my life, I\u2019ve gone through real hell raging with fire, tortured emotionally by a crazy and demented SOB.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I\u2019m writing this. I want to help you because I know how you feel. I know what you\u2019re going through. I know that you want to crawl into a hole and die. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re empty inside because he took everything from you by pretending to care, only to consume and use you for his pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know there are years of crippling pain and spilled tears behind you. I know that you can\u2019t even cry anymore because your tears have dried out. I know you want to scream, but your voice is gone. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I know you\u2019re walking, eating and living just because you have to. I know you won\u2019t be able to erase the memory of him and how he treated you for as long as you live.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Dopo aver spezzato le catene del suo <\/span>manipolazioni<\/span><\/a> and abuse, I thought I will never love or be normal again. I go out, I talk to my friends, and I put on a fake smile because I don\u2019t want to burden anyone with my problems and my pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to show them that I\u2019m fine, but the truth is, I\u2019m not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sotto tutte quelle finte espressioni facciali e quella falsa felicit\u00e0, mi sento come un'altra persona senza volto in mezzo alla folla. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I feel like I\u2019m getting run over and I can\u2019t do anything about it. I feel like my broken emotions and the damage that was done are so much stronger than me.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m going to allow myself to live normally again. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m ever letting anyone get close to me again. I just don\u2019t know how to get that trust I once had back. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not even sure if I want it back\u2026I don\u2019t want to get hurt again\u2026I can\u2019t take it\u2026at least not now.<\/span><\/p>\n

So this is my story\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Non sono mai riuscita a leggere le persone dal primo momento in cui le ho incontrate. Mi sono sempre fidata di tutti perch\u00e9 pensavo che tutti fossero come me. Non ho mai avuto nulla da nascondere e<\/span> Mi sentivo bene con me stesso<\/span><\/a>, so I never had the need to present myself as something I\u2019m not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Questo mi ha scottato molte volte, ma ho mantenuto la mia fiducia nelle persone. Era semplicemente impossibile che tutti loro fossero marci e corrotti dentro. Ho sempre dato loro una seconda possibilit\u00e0 perch\u00e9 credevo che tutti la meritassero. <\/span><\/p>\n

I should have got used to disappointment and betrayal after living through so much of it, but I didn\u2019t, and somehow I would always come back stronger with one more valuable lesson I\u2019ve learned. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

But, this time it was different. This time, I was kicked to the ground so hard and I couldn\u2019t get up. I wanted to, but I was paralyzed with fear and pain.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I met a man who enchanted me. I thought he was so special, but deep inside, I had a feeling that I shouldn\u2019t play with fire. Something screamed from inside that I should turn around and go. <\/span><\/p>\n

But, I ignored that feeling because he intrigued me and I so badly wanted to see what was hiding behind that \u2018beautiful\u2019 face and charming smile. <\/span><\/p>\n

Non avrei mai dovuto cercare di cambiarlo. Non avrei mai dovuto ignorare tutti i segnali che lo circondavano e che mi avvertivano di andarmene. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

So, I invited him to destroy my life and I gave him the chance of a lifetime, his biggest score ever\u2014me. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Mi sono innamorata di un uomo che si preoccupava solo di se stesso. <\/b><\/p>\n

There was never \u2018we\u2019 in our relationship. It was always about him. As long as he was the happy one, as long as his needs and his wishes were taken care of, we were happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

My voice was fading with each new morning of our relationship. Even when I spoke, I wasn\u2019t heard. It would all go to waste because he never cared about what I had to say. <\/span><\/p>\n

He never cared about how I felt\u2014if I was sad, angry or even happy. But, every time he had something exciting or sad or it doesn\u2019t matter what going on in his life, I was, sadly, the first person he would tell all about it. <\/span><\/p>\n

E stupidamente ho ascoltato. Quando era triste, ho cercato di essere compassionevole. Quando era felice, volevo essere felice per lui. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ma come si fa a comprendere e a vivere le sue emozioni quando <\/span>he doesn\u2019t give a damn<\/span><\/a> sul tuo?<\/span><\/p>\n

Mi sono innamorata di un uomo che non ha mai saputo cosa fosse la condivisione. <\/b><\/p>\n

Era completamente egoista ed egocentrico. Non potevamo mai essere felici allo stesso tempo. Quando ero in un periodo fortunato e ogni volta che la mia vita aveva la possibilit\u00e0 di girare in meglio, lui era l\u00ec a distruggerla. <\/span><\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t take it. He couldn\u2019t take the fact that I was doing better, that maybe I was even smarter and more capable than him. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi avrebbe poi reso infelice con la manipolazione, il senso di colpa e la <\/span>gaslighting<\/span><\/a>. He would use everything in his arsenal of emotional weapons just to defeat me and break me emotionally so I knew where my place was\u2014beneath him. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi sono innamorata di un uomo cos\u00ec debole da dovermi incolpare di tutto.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Come<\/p>\n

He could never face his problems like a real man because he was a coward. And he still is, only now he is feeding some other poor clueless woman with his fantasy stories. And she\u2019s buying it like I did but she\u2019ll see through him, hopefully before it\u2019s too late. <\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever things didn\u2019t turn out great for him, I was the one to blame. He would take all his anger out on me like I wanted things to go bad for him, like I was happy when he was miserable. Of course, I wasn\u2019t happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Innanzitutto perch\u00e9 so come ci si sente quando qualcuno \u00e8 felice di vederti infelice, e poi perch\u00e9 la sua disgrazia ha significato l'inferno per me.<\/span><\/p>\n

The biggest problem is that I had absolutely no idea how to confront him and even when I tried, all hell would break loose. I had no idea how to explain to him that the fact he\u2019s miserable made me miserable, too. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wouldn\u2019t that be self-explanatory? Why would I even have to explain that to him? Why would he even think that I wanted to make him feel bad?<\/span><\/p>\n

Mi sono innamorata di un uomo che mi ha fatto credere di poterlo cambiare.<\/b><\/p>\n

Every time we hit the wall in our relationship and I couldn\u2019t take it anymore, he would do a gesture, something that gave me hope that he wasn\u2019t so bad after all. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pensavo di poterlo cambiare, che ci fosse qualcosa dentro di lui che potesse essere portato in superficie. Ma questo \u00e8 stato il mio errore. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nessuno mi ha costretto a farlo, nessuno mi ha obbligato a stare con lui. L'ho scelto io e pensavo di poter cambiare il suo cuore. Pensavo di poterlo rendere meno egoista, di insegnargli ad amare incondizionatamente. Ma mi sbagliavo di grosso. <\/span><\/p>\n

Little flaws don\u2019t matter. We are all human; we all make mistakes. That\u2019s why I wanted to accept him for who he was, but the evil side of him took him completely over and controlled him. It was no longer about the small stuff. <\/span><\/p>\n

La sua malvagit\u00e0 inizi\u00f2 a consumarmi e a usarmi. La sua mancanza di empatia era irreversibile e non potevo farci nulla.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mi sono innamorata di un uomo che mi ha fatto ricredere su tutto ci\u00f2 che facevo. <\/b><\/p>\n

Ho perso la fiducia in me stessa. Dubitavo di me stessa perch\u00e9 tutto ci\u00f2 che facevo non era mai abbastanza. Mi sentivo cos\u00ec piccola e senza importanza, come se fossi incapace di fare qualcosa. Lui trovava sempre un difetto in tutto ci\u00f2 che facevo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Dopo qualche tempo, ho creduto davvero alle sue dure parole. Ho iniziato a credere di essere davvero stupida. Ho perso tutta la mia fiducia perch\u00e9 <\/span>mi stava mettendo in difficolt\u00e0<\/span><\/a> constantly. After some time, I was even grateful that he loved me because I thought I was so pathetic that no one else would ever dream of loving me. I thought I didn\u2019t deserve to be loved by anyone, so his love was something I had to settle for. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi sono innamorata di un uomo che ha cancellato la vera me e ha creato un'altra persona. <\/b><\/p>\n

He changed me. He forced me to become something I never wanted, something I never was. I remember the sound of my laughter and I remember the look of my smile, but that\u2019s it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Non sorridevo pi\u00f9 e non ridevo pi\u00f9 ad alta voce. Erano diventati solo un ricordo felice che stava lentamente svanendo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Le lacrime e la tristezza li hanno portati via. L'unica cosa che sapevo era soffocare nelle mie stesse lacrime e bagnare il cuscino nel cuore della notte, quando lui non c'era pi\u00f9 e nessuno poteva vedermi o sentirmi. <\/span><\/p>\n

I miei muri erano i miei migliori amici e sapevano tutto, anche se il mio viso raccontava la mia triste storia con ogni ruga. Ma nessuno voleva vederlo. <\/span><\/p>\n

And, it\u2019s all my fault. Every tear I shed was my own doing. If I hadn\u2019t wanted to save him, if I hadn\u2019t been so curious to see what was going on inside of him, none of this would have happened. I wouldn\u2019t have needed to be saved.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mi sono innamorata di un uomo che mi ha insegnato a lottare per me stessa.<\/b><\/p>\n

Strange isn\u2019t it? But in a way, all this pain I\u2019ve been through, this hell on earth, wasn\u2019t a complete waste. I\u2019ve learned something because I couldn\u2019t take any of his shit anymore. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned to fight for myself and take what belongs to me\u2026my freedom. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was acting a bit selfishly, but I wasn\u2019t doing it to hurt others\u2014I was doing it to save myself. I\u2019ve decided I\u2019ll turn my life around completely. I\u2019ve decided that people who don\u2019t care about me or about anyone or anything aren\u2019t worth my time. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided that those people can\u2019t be saved if they don\u2019t want to save themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t be saved until I decided to save myself. Until I decided I deserve better than what he was giving me.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided I will <\/span>scegliere me stesso<\/span><\/a> from now on. I\u2019ve decided I will love myself once again. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve put him in a storage box deep in my mind. I know that he will always be somewhere inside. I know everything he did will always be a part of me, but it won\u2019t consume and take me over because I\u2019ve finally said, \u201cit\u2019s enough\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

So che potete metterlo da parte nella parte pi\u00f9 oscura della vostra mente e della vostra anima, proprio come ho fatto io. <\/span><\/p>\n

Li combatteremo per tutta la vita, ma impareremo a controllarli e a non lasciare che ci controllino mai pi\u00f9. <\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was the worst thing that happened in my entire life. That Goddamn moment when I met him, when our eyes locked. You would have thought our story will be a Hollywood moment and our love would become eternal and unbreakable. Well, something became eternal after that relationship and that was my hatred toward him….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":17499,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29631],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-getting-over-him"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29631,"label":"getting over him"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/riccardo-mion-584741-unsplash.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Leah Lee","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/leah\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29631,"name":"getting over him","slug":"getting-over-him","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29631,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","parent":29627,"count":124,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29631,"category_count":124,"category_description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","cat_name":"getting over him","category_nicename":"getting-over-him","category_parent":29627}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17498","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17498"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17498\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17498"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17498"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17498"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}