I felt it for weeks, that he wasn\u2019t holding me as he had before\u2026 He had non-stop no libido. Yes, he was kind and loving, but something didn\u2019t feel right. Of course, I was fearful to check, but I knew there was only one way forward: creating the space for honest, authentic communication. So, with courage in my heart, I asked him straight forward for communication time, being very clear, how important it was for me.<\/p>\n
When the evening arrived, I prepared myself with deep breathing and a grounding meditation. In the end, I was the holder of the space. I actually asked my \u201cangels and guides\u201d to hold me for whatever may arise.<\/p>\n
I prepared the space with candlelight, incense and lots of pillows in front of the wood burner. For these kind of conversations, I prefer almost going into a ritual space, using a talking stick and \u2013 as the holder of the space \u2013 calling in our guides and our honest true Selves.<\/p>\n
First, I shared vulnerably my fear of not being attractive to him anymore, of my fears, that he may be attracted to someone else or – I named it: \u201cwanting to go out there again to experience other women, letting his male instinct – as I call it \u2013 run\u201d.<\/p>\n
He did listen carefully and when I finished, he actually thanked me with these words: \u201cIt\u2019s incredible how you always feel what\u2019s going on in me and then actually invite me to speak it out loud and clear. I would not dare to open up by myself, but now it feels like a relief being able to speak it out honestly\u201d.<\/p>\n
And yes, there it was, his confession of not feeling attracted towards my body anymore but feeling his attention on beautiful women he may encounter in his daily life, may it be during his travels, in restaurants or wherever\u2026<\/p>\n
Ho continuato a respirare mentre parlava, per mantenere il mio S\u00e9 interiore (e il mio bambino) calmo e aperto. Credo che a nessuna donna al mondo piaccia sentire dal proprio compagno e amante che non la trova pi\u00f9 attraente. Fa male.<\/p>\n
Ma la respirazione mi ha aiutato a rimanere concentrata e a non andare nel panico. Con la mia calma, gli ho dato la possibilit\u00e0 di parlare apertamente di ci\u00f2 che sentiva, di ci\u00f2 che stava accadendo in lui, di nominare altre donne da cui si sentiva attratto e di permettergli di chiarire i suoi sentimenti. Questo ha permesso a entrambi di dire la verit\u00e0 e lui si \u00e8 sentito sostenuto e sollevato per avermi potuto confessare che era solo attratto dalla bellezza delle donne pi\u00f9 giovani.<\/p>\n
And it allowed me to get the whole picture. There wasn\u2019t really anyone specific out there. He just felt the \u201cpull\u201d.<\/p>\n
When he finished, I asked him and offered him if he wanted\/ needed space, if he felt, he needed to experience anything new\u2026. (inside I knew, I did not know, how I would handle it, if he would say yes, but this was not the moment to worry about it. Right now, all what mattered, was the honest truth between us, the allowing of speaking the truth, with all it may bring).<\/p>\n
La mia apertura gli ha permesso di riflettere davvero sui suoi sentimenti per me. Ci sono voluti alcuni momenti prima che potessi sentirlo dire con onest\u00e0 e amore: \u201cI don\u2019t know what may happen in the future, I only know how much I love you and what I have with you. This deep connection we share. That is sacred. I love who you are, the person, but the attraction for the body faded. Maybe it will come back\u2026. I hope so. And it\u2019s for you to decide, if you can\/ want to live with me on your side, feeling I am less attracted to your body\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n I kept breathing – I had no answer at that moment \u2013 so that\u2019s what I honestly replied. I needed to feel into this, knowing how much I loved this man.<\/p>\n Ci siamo ringraziati a vicenda per la nostra onest\u00e0, chiudendo lo spazio rituale.<\/p>\n Con mia grande sorpresa, e questa \u00e8 la lezione: improvvisamente era di nuovo completamente attratto da me. Quella notte e quelle successive facemmo un amore bellissimo. Non c'\u00e8 niente di pi\u00f9 accattivante per un uomo di una donna nel suo potere, anche se il corpo non \u00e8 pi\u00f9 il pi\u00f9 attraente.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I felt it for weeks, that he wasn\u2019t holding me as he had before\u2026 He had non-stop no libido. Yes, he was kind and loving, but something didn\u2019t feel right. Of course, I was fearful to check, but I knew there was only one way forward: creating the space for honest, authentic communication. So, with…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":18645,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/stefan-stefancik-257627-unsplash.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18643","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18643"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18643\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}