I was waiting for the camera crews to come out from the shadows when my very serious of a boyfriend decided to inform me he was no longer \u2018sexually attracted\u2019 to me. First, I was in shock. Then I was mostly grateful that my fight or flight was impaired at that moment. Any normal girl would have taken a dagger to the asshole who was deciding to tell his girlfriend, on her BIRTHDAY, yes, on my birthday, that he couldn\u2019t do this anymore.<\/p>\n
As I watched his lips move up and down, I zoned out into another dimension. In my brain I was thinking, isn\u2019t attraction the first thing that happens in a relationship? So why now was this epiphany just coming to him? Confusion ran through my mind. Confusion ran through my mind like wildfire.<\/p>\n
The abundant amount of support and endless encouragement I gave him when it came to what was important to him\u2014those so-called Ironmans and a close call with an almost job loss, Io ero l\u00ec. Ero sempre l\u00ec a sollevarlo ogni giorno.<\/strong> Ero l\u00ec per aiutarlo a costruire quei blocchi di fiducia quando aveva bisogno di una spinta in pi\u00f9 di incoraggiamento. L'ho elogiato, gli ho fatto i complimenti e s\u00ec, gli ho anche pulito le ferite quando \u00e8 caduto dalla bici durante le gare di Ironman. Io c'ero.<\/strong> Ero presente a tutto questo e io ero l\u00ec mentre studiavo per l'esame di abilitazione, facevo un lavoro a tempo pieno e trovavo comunque il tempo per dargli l'amore che pensavo meritasse.<\/strong> I did not ask for anything from him except just a little bit of his heart and attention in return. I never understood why he couldn\u2019t have just given just a little of himself…<\/p>\n Looking back on it, I now understood why he couldn\u2019t support me the way I supported him. In addition to his salary-earning full-time job, he had another full-time job catering to the 40 year-old spinning instructor, the 35 year-old Ironman girl and the 32 year-old aspiring country singer. They were introduced to me as \u2018amici<\/strong>\u2019. I was so naive\u2014I actually believed a good-looking man could have female friends. After all, I\u2019m an attractive female and I have plenty of male friends who are truly just friends. Well, I may have been naive but I\u2019m not stupid. My girl radar was up on high alert after a few rounds of questioning him about his friends. I was truly just asking about what they did and he turned it around to mi ha fatto sentire come se fossi il pazzo<\/strong><\/a>. He said \u2018all my questions\u2019 reflected my own insecurities (no, asswipe, I truly was interested in who they were, what they did, etc.) He tried very hard to deflect and make me feel as if I was some crazy, psycho bitch. He filled my head with his lies.<\/p>\n Back to my birthday\u2026 I felt so sad and lonely and never had I felt such humiliation. His words cut me to the core of my being. It took him this long to determine he wasn\u2019t attracted to me?<\/p>\n Fortunatamente, con l'aiuto di altri, sono riuscita a capire che si trattava delle sue stesse insicurezze tossiche che aveva proiettato su di me. He was doing his best to destroy me\u2014until there was nothing left.<\/strong> Gli avevo quasi permesso di vincere con i suoi giochi mentali malati. Gli avevo quasi permesso di vincere spogliandomi del mio cuore e della mia anima.<\/p>\n Pian piano ho imparato a pregare meno per la rimozione di lui e dei ricordi dolorosi e pi\u00f9 per l'arte di superare il dolore.<\/strong> Da qualche parte, imparando a superare il dolore, mi sono resa conto che ogni giorno e ho fatto una promessa a me stessa di ricostruire la donna che ero prima di incontrarlo.<\/p>\n Sapevo di aver bisogno di aiuto e ci\u00f2 che mi aiut\u00f2 a diventare il mio kit di pronto soccorso per superarlo fu la gioia che provavo nel correre. Correre \u00e8 diventato per me una necessit\u00e0, come il cibo e l'acqua.<\/p>\n La corsa \u00e8 stata la mia fuga speciale ed \u00e8 diventata la mia sessione di terapia giornaliera<\/strong> when I couldn\u2019t stop those hurtful words echoing throughout my mind. Running helped me find my own voice.<\/p>\n I needed to run. I needed to run every day. I needed to run for my own sanity. I\u2019m not sure if it is because of the endorphins that are released but running became my drug of choice when dealing with the pain.<\/p>\n Per me la corsa \u00e8 il miglior antidepressivo che si possa prendere.<\/strong> La corsa richiede forza e resistenza fisica.<\/strong> Running helped my body physically and mentally. Physically, running helped improve my much-lost sleep at night caused by the haunting, painful memories. Mentally, running helped me to think clearly and to rebuild my self-esteem and ego\u2014which had been stripped to absolutely nothing.<\/p>\n Running wasn\u2019t just about distance and mileage for me. I set goals mentally. Each runHo promesso a me stessa di continuare a correre finch\u00e9 il dolore e il panico dei suoi ricordi tossici non fossero diminuiti e la sua voce non fosse diventata silenziosa.<\/strong> Mi sono ripromessa che a ogni corsa avrei affrontato le paure che mi aveva messo addosso.<\/p>\n Correre mi ha insegnato qualcosa sulla vita in generale. Alcuni giorni saranno migliori di altri. Some days you\u2019ll have the absolute best run of your life and some days you\u2019ll barely find the fuel to keep your legs going.<\/strong> Proprio come alcuni giorni con lui riuscivo a malapena a sopportare il dolore e altri ero totalmente invincibile.<\/p>\n Correre \u00e8 stato il mio toccasana e il mio meccanismo di coping per riprendere il controllo della mia vita. Quindi, vi incoraggio ad andare avanti e a sudare, ad aprire quel kit di pronto soccorso che include scarpe da ginnastica e un vestito carino. Correte fino a quando il dolore non sar\u00e0 sempre meno e il vostro la forza supera<\/strong> tutta la sua negativit\u00e0.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was waiting for the camera crews to come out from the shadows when my very serious of a boyfriend decided to inform me he was no longer \u2018sexually attracted\u2019 to me. First, I was in shock. Then I was mostly grateful that my fight or flight was impaired at that moment. Any normal girl…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":19391,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/adult-beautiful-black-clothes-1040424.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19390\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}