I know I am probably the last person you want or expect to hear from. And I know you don\u2019t want anything to do with me and I assume that writing to you is another one of my selfish acts but I just can\u2019t help it.<\/p>\n
I am sorry to reopen your wounds and to remind you of everything you\u2019ve been through. I am sorry that even now I can\u2019t be a better man and just let you be because the truth is that I am not writing this to you to make you feel better\u2014I am writing this for myself. Because I hope it will help me with my conscience and to make myself feel better.<\/p>\n
Yep, I am obviously still the same selfish asshole I\u2019ve always been. But at least I\u2019ve grown enough to realize it, to accept it and to admit it.<\/strong><\/p>\n But that doesn\u2019t make any of it better, does it? It doesn\u2019t make me a better person or a bigger man in your eyes, does it?<\/p>\n I am not writing this to you to get you back, although sometimes I secretly hope that will happen. But I am very well aware that I\u2019ve lost all my chances with you and that something like that is far from possible.<\/p>\n Lo scrivo perch\u00e9 voglio almeno provare a darvi una spiegazione di tutto quello che \u00e8 successo. Non perch\u00e9 mi aspetti che tu mi capisca, ma per spiegarmi e cercare di capirmi.<\/strong><\/p>\n I am writing this because I want you to know that I am finally taking all the responsibility for everything I\u2019ve done to you and to us and because I want you to see that I finally realized everything.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve realized I was an psicopatico emotivo<\/a> who ruined the only good thing I had in life\u2014our relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n Che sono stato uno stronzo che ti ha scacciato con la mia tossicit\u00e0 e le mie insicurezze.<\/p>\n Che sono stata cattiva per te e che hai fatto la scelta giusta quando hai rinunciato a lottare e quando hai rinunciato a me.<\/strong><\/p>\n Perch\u00e9 ti sei salvato.<\/strong><\/p>\n S\u00ec, anche tu hai cercato di salvarmi, ma dopo molti anni hai visto che era impossibile. Hai visto che sarei rimasta la stessa persona negativa e distruttiva di sempre. Hai visto che ti stavo solo trascinando a fondo con me e che non c'era pi\u00f9 nulla da fare per salvarmi.<\/p>\n Perch\u00e9 la verit\u00e0 \u00e8 I didn\u2019t want to be saved<\/a>. E non ti ho mai permesso di aiutarmi a guarire.<\/p>\n