{"id":211820,"date":"2025-08-16T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-16T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=211820"},"modified":"2025-08-15T15:49:01","modified_gmt":"2025-08-15T13:49:01","slug":"you-dismiss-me-and-expect-a-place-in-my-kids-lives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/you-dismiss-me-and-expect-a-place-in-my-kids-lives\/","title":{"rendered":"Non potete licenziarmi e aspettarvi ancora un posto nella vita dei miei figli, famiglia o meno"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s get one thing straight: I\u2019m not running a community daycare where people can pop in,<\/strong> play with my kids for five minutes, and then go back to ignoring me like I don\u2019t exist. Nope. Not happening. If you can\u2019t respect me, you don\u2019t get access to my tiny humans. Family or not, the rules are the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, before anyone clutches their pearls and gasps about \u201cfamily values,\u201d let me clarify something: I am all for family. I love family. I believe in connection, love, and all those wholesome things that look great on holiday cards. <\/strong>But here\u2019s what I don\u2019t believe in\u2014people treating me like an optional side dish while expecting VIP access to my kids like they\u2019re the main course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u201cYou Don\u2019t Matter, But Your Kids Do\u201d Phenomenon<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ah, yes. The classic move. Some relatives will barely acknowledge my existence, but the second I have kids, they\u2019re suddenly interested. Before, they couldn\u2019t be bothered to check in,<\/strong> remember my birthday, or, I don\u2019t know, treat me like a human being. But the moment I produced offspring? They\u2019re front and center, acting like I owe them a backstage pass to my children\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see you, Aunt Karen. I see you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s not just the occasional distant cousin\u2014it\u2019s the people who made it clear they don\u2019t like me,<\/strong> don\u2019t respect me, or don\u2019t value me,<\/a> yet think they can waltz in and play the \u201cloving family member\u201d card when it comes to my kids. Oh, honey. No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Respect Isn\u2019t a Buffet\u2014You Can\u2019t Pick and Choose<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"
Canva<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I had a relative (who shall remain nameless, but if they\u2019re reading this\u2014yes, it\u2019s you) who made it clear they didn\u2019t approve of my life choices. I wasn\u2019t doing things the way they thought I should, and let\u2019s just say, their support was\u2026 nonexistent.<\/em> <\/strong>They never reached out. Never made an effort. Never showed up when I actually needed them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then\u2014oh, THEN\u2014I had kids. Suddenly, they were sliding into my messages, all \u201cWhen can I see the babies?\u201d<\/em> e \u201cI\u2019d love to take them for a weekend!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, would you now? That\u2019s fascinating, considering you haven\u2019t spoken to me in two years. <\/strong>Suddenly, I\u2019m good enough to birth adorable grandchildren\/nieces\/nephews, but not good enough to be treated with basic kindness? Yeah, I don\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This Isn\u2019t a Reality Show, and You\u2019re Not a Guest Star<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the thing: My kids don\u2019t exist to entertain you. They\u2019re not little accessories you can borrow to feel like a fun aunt<\/strong> or a doting grandparent while conveniently skipping over the part where you have a relationship with me<\/em>. If you don\u2019t like me, I guarantee my kids don\u2019t need you in their lives either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because, let\u2019s be real\u2014children are smart. They pick up on things. You think they won\u2019t notice that their mom gets cold-shouldered while their presence is celebrated? <\/strong>You think they won\u2019t feel the weird energy of someone who adores them but conveniently ignores the person who raises them? Trust me, they\u2019ll notice. And one day, they\u2019ll ask questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boundaries Are Not Up for Debate<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Now, some people will say, \u201cBut it\u2019s not fair to the kids! They deserve to have a relationship with family!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure. And I deserve to be treated like a human being.<\/strong> Both things can be true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where boundaries come in.<\/a> I have zero problem keeping my kids away from people who can\u2019t respect their mother. It\u2019s not about revenge, it\u2019s not about being petty, and it\u2019s certainly not about playing gatekeeper\u2014it\u2019s about protecting the kind of environment I want my kids to grow up in.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And let\u2019s be honest\u2014what kind of message would I be sending if I allowed people to treat me like an afterthought while happily handing over my kids for weekend visits?<\/strong> No thanks. I\u2019d rather teach my children that respect is a two-way street, not a toll-free highway for whoever feels entitled to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u201cBut We\u2019re Faaamily\u201d Argument? Try Again.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"
Canva<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Oh, the classic guilt trip.<\/a> \u201cBut we\u2019re family! Blood is thicker than water!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, let\u2019s get one thing straight\u2014the actual quote is \u201cThe blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.\u201d<\/em> Which means chosen bonds are stronger than birth ties.<\/strong> So, if you\u2019re gonna quote it, at least get it right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, being related by blood does not mean you get a free pass to be disrespectful, dismissive, or absent for the hard stuff while demanding access to the good parts. Family is not an automatic membership club <\/strong>with lifetime benefits. It\u2019s a relationship that requires effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, if someone is out here treating me like a second-class citizen<\/strong> but still expects to hold my babies, feed them cookies, and play the doting relative, they are in for a rude awakening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You Want to Be in Their Lives? Start with Me.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s simple: You want to be in my kids\u2019 lives? Treat me like a person. Not as an inconvenience. Not as a problem. Not as an obstacle standing between you and the grandchildren<\/strong>\/nieces\/nephews you suddenly want to claim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not asking for over-the-top affection, endless check-ins, or constant validation. I\u2019m asking for basic respect<\/em>. A text now and then. A little effort.<\/strong> A smidge of acknowledgment that I exist outside of my role as \u201cthe one who birthed the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because, let me tell you\u2014if you act like I don\u2019t matter, you will be shocked to find out that, in my world, voi<\/em> don\u2019t matter either.<\/strong> And my kids? They will be just fine without the people who couldn\u2019t be bothered to care about their mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, to those who think they can dismiss me and still expect a front-row seat in my kids\u2019 lives? My response is simple: Not on my watch.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s get one thing straight: I\u2019m not running a community daycare where people can pop in, play with my kids for five minutes, and then go back to ignoring me like I don\u2019t exist. Nope. Not happening. If you can\u2019t respect me, you don\u2019t get access to my tiny humans. Family or not, the rules…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":211821,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29814,29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-211820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29814,"label":"Stories"},{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/You-Cant-Dismiss-Me-and-Still-Expect-a-Place-in-My-Kids-Lives-Family-or-Not-1024x576.jpg",1024,576,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29814,"name":"Stories","slug":"stories","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29814,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":29651,"count":242,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29814,"category_count":242,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Stories","category_nicename":"stories","category_parent":29651},{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=211820"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211820\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":211825,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211820\/revisions\/211825"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/211821"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=211820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=211820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=211820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}