{"id":21752,"date":"2018-08-08T12:47:27","date_gmt":"2018-08-08T12:47:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=21752"},"modified":"2021-08-12T06:50:47","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T06:50:47","slug":"sono-ancora-arrabbiato-con-me-stesso-per-averti-amato","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/sono-ancora-arrabbiato-con-me-stesso-per-averti-amato\/","title":{"rendered":"Sono ancora arrabbiato con me stesso per non averti mai amato"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I tell people about all the things you\u2019ve done to me, about all the harm you\u2019ve caused and about all the pain you\u2019ve put me through, everyone blames you for everything.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone assumes that I am mad at you and that I could never forgive you for the way you\u2019ve treated me.<\/b><\/p>\n

Ed \u00e8 cos\u00ec che mi sono sentita per un po' di tempo, da quando finalmente sei sparita dalla mia vita per sempre.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ero consumato dalla rabbia e dall'odio verso di te, e pensavo che tu fossi l'unico colpevole di tutte le mie disgrazie.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ma dopo un po' di tempo, tutte queste sensazioni sono scomparse. E pensai che la fine della mia infelicit\u00e0 fosse finalmente arrivata.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was convinced that I had finally gotten rid of all these negative emotions that had haunted and caged me. I thought I\u2019d <\/span>deciso di andare avanti con la mia vita<\/span><\/a>, come hai fatto tu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ma in realt\u00e0 era solo l'inizio.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, the truth is that I\u2019d stopped hating you. I wasn\u2019t angry at you anymore, and I\u2019d even managed to forgive you for everything you did to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it didn\u2019t mean my anger and bitterness faded away. Instead, they still remained a huge part of me, and I just rechanneled them.<\/span><\/p>\n

But this time, it was worse than ever. Because this time, I\u2019d become angry at myself. And that is something I still feel and something I don\u2019t know how to overcome.<\/span><\/p>\n

So che tutti vi diranno che non bisogna mai portare rancore, soprattutto verso se stessi.<\/span><\/p>\n

So che dovrei considerare la nostra relazione come una dura lezione e che non otterr\u00f2 nulla se continuo a tornare al passato e ad aggrapparmi ad esso.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ma questa rabbia, il risentimento e il <\/span>odio per se stessi<\/span><\/a> are stronger than everything I\u2019ve ever felt, and it is something I can\u2019t control, as much as I\u2019m trying to.<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is that I became angry at myself the moment I realized you didn\u2019t force me into doing anything I didn\u2019t want to do.<\/b><\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t force me to be with you, to put up with you, to stay with you or to humiliate myself.<\/b><\/p>\n

S\u00ec, mi hai manipolato. Hai giocato con la mia mente e il mio cuore. Mi hai ricattato emotivamente.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ma sono stata io a permetterti di farmi tutte quelle cose.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sono stata io a essere sempre consapevole del tipo di uomo che sei, e sono stata io a scegliere di restare al tuo fianco, nonostante tutto.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was the one who was too weak, who didn\u2019t have the strength and the power to confront you and to stand up for myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was the one who let you into my life and into my heart and the one who didn\u2019t have the courage to walk away from you and to cut you off for good.<\/b><\/p>\n

And that is the main reason of my anger. That is what I can\u2019t forgive myself.<\/b><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t forgive myself for being a fool for so long and for <\/span>believing that you\u2019d eventually change, <\/b>per aver mentito e per avermi convinto che mi amavi, quando chiaramente non mi hai mai amato.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t forgive myself for hoping<\/b> that we\u2019d live a happy life, although there was clearly no room for me to hope, for giving you all those second chances, when you clearly didn\u2019t deserve any.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t forgive myself for letting you treat me the way you wanted to<\/b> e per aver sopportato che tu mi maltrattassi emotivamente per tutti questi anni.<\/span><\/p>\n

Per averti permesso di sminuirmi<\/b> and for letting you act like I\u2019m beneath you.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t forgive myself for always putting you first<\/b>mentre non mi hai mai dato un posto speciale nella tua vita, per essere stato l'unico a impegnarsi nella nostra relazione.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t forgive myself for putting aside all of my deal breakers and life principles<\/b> solo per poter stare con te, per cambiare in modo da piacerti di pi\u00f9.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ma soprattutto, <\/span>Io sono<\/b> arrabbiato per averti amato pi\u00f9 di quanto abbia amato me stesso<\/b><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

In realt\u00e0, sono arrabbiato con me stesso per essermi preso cura di te e per averti amato come ho fatto.<\/b><\/p>\n

Perch\u00e9 non hai mai meritato il mio amore. E tu non hai mai meritato me.<\/span> <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I tell people about all the things you\u2019ve done to me, about all the harm you\u2019ve caused and about all the pain you\u2019ve put me through, everyone blames you for everything. Everyone assumes that I am mad at you and that I could never forgive you for the way you\u2019ve treated me. And this…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":21753,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/christian-fregnan-706748-unsplash.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21752","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21752"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21752\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21752"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21752"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}