{"id":22132,"date":"2020-08-30T08:53:08","date_gmt":"2020-08-30T08:53:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=22132"},"modified":"2022-06-08T17:37:08","modified_gmt":"2022-06-08T17:37:08","slug":"che-cose-la-situationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/che-cose-la-situationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Situazioni di coppia: Che cos'\u00e8 e cosa fare quando ci si trova in una di esse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Quando ho sentito per la prima volta il termine situationship, mi sono precipitata su Urban Dictionary per trovarne il significato:<\/p>\r\n<p><i> &#8220;A relationship that has no label on it\u2026 like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.&#8221; <\/i><\/p>\r\n<p>As I scrolled down I saw a similar explanation in more scientific terms \u2013 relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan defines situationship as a <i> \" <\/i><i> pseudo-relazione <\/i><i> \u2026 a <\/i><i> mascheramento con placebo <\/i><i> itself as a relationship, but the reality is that it is not.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\r\n<p><b>All'improvviso ho capito che sono in un <\/b><b>Situazione di vita<\/b><b>. Entrambe le definizioni riassumono perfettamente la mia vita sentimentale. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p>Ho fatto del mio meglio per evitare questo. Ho fatto del mio meglio per non affezionarmi. <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/relationship\/friends-benefits-4-golden-rules-not-cross-line\/\"> Ho rispettato le regole <\/a> . Ho fatto tutto bene. Eppure, alla fine, il mio cuore \u00e8 stato battuto e ferito.<\/p>\r\n<p>Abbiamo detto prima l'amicizia; il resto non \u00e8 cos\u00ec importante. Ma come pu\u00f2 una cosa poco importante fare cos\u00ec male? L'amicizia pu\u00f2 spezzare il cuore?<\/p>\r\n<p>It can\u2019t. It shouldn\u2019t. But it did. Something that I called all sorts of names \u2013 friends, more than a friend less than a boyfriend, no strings attached, <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/gli-amici-con-benefici-parlano-tutti-i-giorni-2\/\">amici con benefici<\/a>, etc. \u2013 but it turned out to be nothing more than a situationship .<\/p>\r\n<p>A situationship that made such a mess out of my life and emotions that I still feel lost. It&#8217;s not something I wanted to go through and it&#8217;s not something you should have to either.<\/p>\r\n<p>So, continue reading below and you\u2019ll get to the bottom of what situationship really is so you\u2019ll know just how to avoid it.<\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">It&#8217;s more than just a plain hookup<\/h2>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-104354\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-man-touches-the-womans-lips-with-his-finger.jpg\" alt=\"l&#039;uomo tocca le labbra della donna con il dito\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-man-touches-the-womans-lips-with-his-finger.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-man-touches-the-womans-lips-with-his-finger-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-man-touches-the-womans-lips-with-his-finger-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-man-touches-the-womans-lips-with-his-finger-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-man-touches-the-womans-lips-with-his-finger-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\r\n<p>You know you\u2019re more than a booty call to him. It&#8217;s way deeper than that.<\/p>\r\n<p>Condividete con lui i vostri pensieri. Vi aprite, lo fate entrare. Vi confidate con lui e lui si confida con voi. Ridete delle stesse cose stupide. Cucinate insieme. Vi accoccolate sul divano e guardate Netflix.<\/p>\r\n<p>Vivete per quei piccoli momenti di pura beatitudine.<\/p>\r\n<p>Sadly, they come with a price. By spending time together, by sharing moments, you create memories that can never be forgotten. You create memories that\u2019ll hurt so much when it all goes down in flames.<\/p>\r\n<p>And, it will go down in flames. It can\u2019t be avoided. It will burn to the ground without the chance of ever growing into a real relationship .<\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">It&#8217;s an undefined relationship you&#8217;ve accidentally fallen into<\/h2>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-104356 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-hugging-look-at-each-other-and-laugh.jpg\" alt=\"un uomo e una donna abbracciati si guardano e ridono\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-hugging-look-at-each-other-and-laugh.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-hugging-look-at-each-other-and-laugh-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-hugging-look-at-each-other-and-laugh-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-hugging-look-at-each-other-and-laugh-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-hugging-look-at-each-other-and-laugh-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\r\n<p>Every time you hear them introducing you to somebody as their friend, it\u2019ll hurt. The same pain will be present when you have to say he is just a friend, or your best friend, when you want to scream he is more than that.<\/p>\r\n<p>You\u2019ll feel isolated from his life. You\u2019ll start to wonder why you aren\u2019t good enough to be his girlfriend, why you don\u2019t know any of his friends, why you have a life with him that only exists between the four walls of your studio apartment.<\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">You have real emotions for someone you\u2019re not in a real relationship with<\/h2>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-104358\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-looks-at-the-man.jpg\" alt=\"la donna guarda l&#039;uomo\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-looks-at-the-man.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-looks-at-the-man-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-looks-at-the-man-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-looks-at-the-man-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-looks-at-the-man-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\r\n<p>You never know where you stand with him regarding anything. It&#8217;s all about guessing and interpreting his actions and feelings.<\/p>\r\n<p>Future is a taboo topic you never bring up. Your feelings stay hidden. You dodge DTR (define the relationship) talk like it&#8217;s toxic.<\/p>\r\n<p>Your head is full of questions \u2013 <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/domande-che-le-ragazze-hanno-troppa-paura-di-fare-ai-ragazzi\/\">questions you\u2019re too afraid to ask<\/a> perch\u00e9 questo potrebbe significare perderlo completamente.<\/p>\r\n<p>Per ora si accontenterebbe di qualsiasi cosa piuttosto che vivere senza di lui.<\/p>\r\n<p>For now, you will stay, but little by little you\u2019ll get tired of it. You\u2019ll hate the situationship you\u2019re in.<\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">The heart gets attached even if you agree that you are &#8220;just friends&#8221;<\/h2>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-104360 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-covered-their-faces-with-a-bouquet-of-roses.jpg\" alt=\"un uomo e una donna si coprirono il volto con un bouquet di rose\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-covered-their-faces-with-a-bouquet-of-roses.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-covered-their-faces-with-a-bouquet-of-roses-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-covered-their-faces-with-a-bouquet-of-roses-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-covered-their-faces-with-a-bouquet-of-roses-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-covered-their-faces-with-a-bouquet-of-roses-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\r\n<p>No matter what lies you try to tell it, it won\u2019t believe you. A heart doesn\u2019t listen to reason. Your emotions awaken, no matter how much you want them to stay dormant.<\/p>\r\n<p>Ci si coccola, si <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/relationship\/che-cosa-dice-il-suo-bacio-dei-suoi-sentimenti-verso-di-te\/\"> bacio <\/a> , you make love, you hold hands, you hug, you get used to texting daily, you even leave a toothbrush at each other&#8217;s place\u2026 Your feelings grow.<\/p>\r\n<p>You bond. You do all of the things only couples do, but you\u2019re not in a real relationship . You fall more and more for them with every second. It\u2019s unavoidable.<\/p>\r\n<p>Il vostro cuore riconosce una relazione romantica, ma la realt\u00e0 della pseudo-relazione in cui vi siete trovati lo sta lentamente facendo a pezzi.<\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\"><a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/segni-di-una-frequentazione-non-ufficiale\/\">It&#8217;s all unofficial<\/a>, ma comunque leale.<\/h2>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-104363\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-hugged-the-man.jpg\" alt=\"la donna abbracci\u00f2 l&#039;uomo\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-hugged-the-man.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-hugged-the-man-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-hugged-the-man-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-hugged-the-man-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/the-woman-hugged-the-man-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\r\n<p>You\u2019ve sworn off all other men even if you are still &#8220;officially&#8221; single. You know you\u2019re not in an official relationship; there\u2019s no definite label .<\/p>\r\n<p>The signs are right there: he\u2019s never called you his girlfriend, there\u2019s no trace of the two of you being an item on either of your social media accounts, and what\u2019s more, you agreed to keep what you two have a secret.<\/p>\r\n<p>You know you don&#8217;t owe him loyalty. You know you should keep your options open. But you can&#8217;t force yourself to even look at other men because you are too hooked on him.<\/p>\r\n<p>You have everything with him. You have his attention and affection, you have relationship benefits, but at the end of the day, you know you\u2019re not in a committed relationship .<\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">You will want more and he won\u2019t be able to give you that<\/h2>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-104365\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-woman-and-a-man-kiss.jpg\" alt=\"una donna e un uomo si baciano\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-woman-and-a-man-kiss.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-woman-and-a-man-kiss-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-woman-and-a-man-kiss-768x509.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-woman-and-a-man-kiss-150x99.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\r\n<p>You&#8217;ll be sick of that<a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/porre-fine-a-una-relazione-di-tira-e-molla\/\"> relazione avanti e indietro<\/a>. You\u2019ll want things to progress to an actual relationship .<\/p>\r\n<p>You\u2019ll want the world to know you care for each other. You\u2019ll want to have a plus one when you go to somebody&#8217;s wedding.<\/p>\r\n<p>You won&#8217;t settle for being there when it&#8217;s convenient for him. You won&#8217;t accept things that are labelless and undefined.<\/p>\r\n<p>This non-relationship , this love mess situation in which you have found yourself, will become harder to handle. You won&#8217;t be able to shake off that thought that all you want from him he might already be giving to somebody else, even if he swears you\u2019re the only one.<\/p>\r\n<h2>What to do when you\u2019ve found yourself in a situationship?<\/h2>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-104368\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-stand-embracing.jpg\" alt=\"un uomo e una donna abbracciati\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-stand-embracing.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-stand-embracing-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-stand-embracing-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-stand-embracing-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-stand-embracing-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><strong>1. There is such a thing as great timing to have &#8220;the talk&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p>The point at which you\u2019re sure about them and feel you should give this thing between you a chance is the perfect timing to have the talk.<\/p>\r\n<p>After you&#8217;ve been on a bunch of dates and got to know the person you are seeing, you\u2019ll sense that it&#8217;s time to sort things out.<\/p>\r\n<p>If you don&#8217;t, you\u2019ll inevitably fall into a situationship that you\u2019ll never manage to get out of. So trust your gut and don&#8217;t delay the inevitable.<\/p>\r\n<p><strong>2. Stabilire i limiti fin dall'inizio<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p>Yes, it seems hard and complicated. You get scared that you will mess everything. But it&#8217;s a necessity \u2013 honest conversation is the only way to go.<\/p>\r\n<p>Right from the start, he must know what those things are that you won&#8217;t put up with.<\/p>\r\n<p>Be consistent with your boundaries. If you say you won&#8217;t do certain things, then don&#8217;t do them.<\/p>\r\n<p><i> For instance, if he calls you in the middle of the night and asks if he can come over, say &#8220;No!&#8221; and avoid turning into a <\/i><i> chiamata di cortesia <\/i><i> . <\/i><\/p>\r\n<p>He must know you\u2019re not the kind of woman he can mess around with. Let him know you\u2019re not into casual dating and if this isn\u2019t going anywhere, that you are not playing along.<\/p>\r\n<p>You don&#8217;t want to end up with a broken heart because of this new relationship you can&#8217;t even call a real relationship .<\/p>\r\n<p><strong>3. Be honest, but don&#8217;t be sharp with your words<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p>You\u2019ve heard it: it&#8217;s not just about what you say, it&#8217;s how you say it. The worst thing to do is to make a big drama out of everything or make him feel like you\u2019re bossing him around.<\/p>\r\n<p>There is no need to be rude or demand things, you simply need to say what you want from the man you\u2019re dating and if he doesn&#8217;t want the same things, that&#8217;s okay too.<\/p>\r\n<p>If he says he doesn&#8217;t want any kind of commitment, tell him that it&#8217;s fine, but you don&#8217;t see yourself in that scenario and you should then go your separate ways.<\/p>\r\n<p><i> Se <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/quando-un-ragazzo-piange-al-pensiero-di-perderti\/\">il pensiero di perderti<\/a> doesn&#8217;t make him rethink everything, then he\u2019s definitely not worth your time and effort. <\/i><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>4. Chiedetevi: \u00c8 davvero quello giusto o \u00e8 solo un segnaposto finch\u00e9 non arriva l'amore della tua vita?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p>It&#8217;s easy to confuse the two. In this era of hookup culture , situationship has become the new normal .<\/p>\r\n<p><i> &#8220;People aren&#8217;t even dating anymore, just talking, catching feelings, sleeping together, and ending up in <\/i><i> situazioni di vita <\/i><i> .&#8221; \u2013 Unknown <\/i><\/p>\r\n<p>It&#8217;s easy to get tangled up into something casual and laid back. You don&#8217;t want to rush things; you don&#8217;t want to come off as too needy.<\/p>\r\n<p>Ma arriver\u00e0 un momento in cui vi renderete conto di aver investito troppo tempo e sforzi in una persona sbagliata per voi.<\/p>\r\n<p>You will realize that this kind of relationship \u2013 or better said, non-relationship \u2013 is seriously messing with your wellbeing and mental health .<\/p>\r\n<p>Without stability in this new relationship arrangement, you\u2019ll be lost. You\u2019ll hate the undefined, unsaid, and unknown.<\/p>\r\n<p>With time, you\u2019ll realize he\u2019s someone who isn\u2019t ready to do the same for you. You&#8217;ll just prolong the inevitable and keep holding on to the hope of something that you know deep down will never be.<\/p>\r\n<p><b><i>That\u2019s why a <\/i><\/b><b><i>Situazione di vita<\/i><\/b><b><i> non \u00e8 mai una buona idea.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\r\n<p>Let\u2019s face it \u2013 no matter how casual and laid-back we pretend to be, deep down, we crave commitment.<\/p>\r\n<p>Abbiamo bisogno di qualcuno che gridi a squarciagola che siamo suoi. Abbiamo bisogno di qualcosa di etichettato, di qualcosa di reale e raggiungibile.<\/p>\r\n<p><b><i>That\u2019s why next time a <\/i><\/b><b><i>Situazione di vita<\/i><\/b><b><i> che vi arriva, saltatela o fate del vostro meglio per evitarla. Io so che lo far\u00f2.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\r\n\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><\/figure>\r\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-104371\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Situationship-What-Is-It-And-What-To-Do-When-You-Find-Yourself-In-One-pinterest.jpg\" alt=\"Situazioni di coppia: Che cos&#039;\u00e8 e cosa fare quando ci si trova in una di esse\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1499\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Situationship-What-Is-It-And-What-To-Do-When-You-Find-Yourself-In-One-pinterest.jpg 683w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Situationship-What-Is-It-And-What-To-Do-When-You-Find-Yourself-In-One-pinterest-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Situationship-What-Is-It-And-What-To-Do-When-You-Find-Yourself-In-One-pinterest-150x225.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I first heard the term situationship, I rushed to Urban Dictionary to find the meaning: &#8220;A relationship that has no label on it\u2026 like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.&#8221; As I scrolled down I saw a similar explanation in more scientific terms \u2013 relationship expert Sarah Louise&#8230;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":104351,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29622],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29622,"label":"relationship advice"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Situationship-What-Is-It-And-What-To-Do-When-You-Find-Yourself-In-One.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29622,"name":"relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29622,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","parent":29620,"count":544,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29622,"category_count":544,"category_description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. 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