{"id":23220,"date":"2019-11-13T11:47:11","date_gmt":"2019-11-13T11:47:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=23220"},"modified":"2021-08-11T08:54:15","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T08:54:15","slug":"al-mio-padre-tossico-che-avrebbe-dovuto-essere-presente","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/al-mio-padre-tossico-che-avrebbe-dovuto-essere-presente\/","title":{"rendered":"Al mio pap\u00e0 tossico che avrebbe dovuto essere presente"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sto guardando questo titolo e non riesco a collegare la parola \"tossico\" con la parola \"padre\".<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter how much I try, I can\u2019t believe that a father can be toxic to his child. But the longer I think about it, the more I start having flashbacks of my childhood. <\/span><\/p>\n

E in un batter d'occhio, sento la rabbia che mi invade tutto il corpo. Sento che inizio a tremare e che le lacrime iniziano a scorrere lungo i miei controlli. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

The reality hits me with an unbelievable truth\u2014I have a<\/i><\/b> padre tossico! <\/i><\/b><\/a><\/p>\n

And while I think about it, I see myself trying to run away from that thought. But you can\u2019t run away from reality, right? <\/span><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t run away from something that hurt you so much that even if you are an adult, you still feel the consequences.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ti rendi conto di cosa mi hai fatto, pap\u00e0?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you feel sorry for neglecting me?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you feel sorry for not giving me the love I craved when I was a little girl?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Dad, don\u2019t you see that because of you, I am emotionally unavailable for everyone who tries to love me?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Don’t you see that you ruined me for every man who comes into my life?<\/span><\/p>\n

Per colpa tua, non mi sono mai sentita abbastanza bella.<\/i><\/b> Mi dicevi sempre che gli altri bambini erano dolci e carini, mentre io stavo accanto a te con il mio vestito rosa a tut\u00f9 che avevo messo solo per piacerti. <\/span><\/p>\n

E speravo che tu mi guardassi e mi dicessi che anch'io ero bella e che eri orgoglioso di avere una figlia cos\u00ec.<\/span><\/p>\n

Grazie a te, non mi sono mai sentito <\/i><\/b>Ero degno<\/i><\/b><\/a>. <\/i><\/b>Mi dicevi sempre che gli altri ragazzi erano pi\u00f9 bravi di me e che avrei dovuto fare di pi\u00f9 per raggiungerli. <\/span><\/p>\n

You never said you were proud of me for a good grade, but you surely knew how to punish me when I got a bad one, though\u2014like I wasn\u2019t punished enough for not getting your love.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because of you, I couldn\u2019t come home and know I could count on my dad when I got my heart broken for the first time.<\/i><\/b> Non hai mai voluto sapere nulla di ci\u00f2 che accadeva nella mia vita. Non mi hai mai chiesto come stavo e se avevo problemi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Non sei mai stato una spalla su cui piangere, pap\u00e0. E per questo non ti perdoner\u00f2 mai.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because of you, I will never walk down the aisle with my dad. I will probably walk alone or with my husband if I ever find one\u2014since after you showed me what men are like, I simply can\u2019t trust any man anymore. <\/p>\n

Sento che non trover\u00f2 mai un uomo che mi ami e mi protegga. Sento semplicemente che tutti loro mi tradiranno come hai fatto tu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because of you, my children won\u2019t have nice memories with their grandpa. <\/i><\/b>Maybe they will never meet you since you probably won\u2019t make any effort to get to know them better. <\/span><\/p>\n

And I won\u2019t even try to tell them about you since you are not so important to me anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

You were never there when I needed you, and now that I am an adult, I don\u2019t want you in my life anymore. So, don\u2019t try to seek me when you realize what you have done.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Al<\/p>\n

That little girl who was crazy about you doesn\u2019t exist anymore. She died the day you didn\u2019t choose her. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00c8 morta il giorno in cui hai preferito l'alcol e le altre donne a lei. E qualunque cosa tu faccia, non la riporterai mai indietro.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Al suo posto c'\u00e8 <\/span>un'altra donna <\/span><\/a>who knows what she wants in her life. And one of her wishes surely isn\u2019t a lousy father. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sapete perch\u00e9? <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Because she deserves a lot more than that. Because she suffered, and now she wants a calm life without worrying about why her father doesn\u2019t love her enough. <\/span><\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t want to think that she made some mistake and that because of that her father couldn\u2019t love her. <\/span><\/p>\n

She can\u2019t question herself every day about why she wasn\u2019t enough for a man who was supposed to love and protect her. She simply can\u2019t do that anymore. She is tired, tired to the bone. <\/span><\/p>\n

E per lei \u00e8 arrivato il momento di andare avanti. \u00c8 ora che lasci andare un padre tossico che non c'\u00e8 mai stato per lei. <\/span><\/p>\n

Because she can\u2019t continue like this anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know that you will maybe feel sorry for not being with me when I needed you. Maybe, one day, you will be proud of the woman I became, but you will never get an opportunity to tell me that face in face. I don\u2019t want to see you. <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to have any contact with you. One toxic man was enough for my entire life, and I just want to get rid of the toxicity you brought into my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Quindi, pap\u00e0, se stai leggendo questa lettera, sappi che ti perdono.<\/i><\/b> Probabilmente avevi dei motivi per cui non c'eri mai per me. <\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t understand them then, and I can\u2019t understand them now. But to be honest, I don\u2019t give a damn about it anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

This time, I am finally moving on with a clean heart, knowing that your behavior wasn\u2019t my fault. I am moving on surrounded by people who would give their lives for me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Vado avanti perch\u00e9 la vita va avanti e devo viverla come merito. Ma sappiate che, una volta, c'era una bambina che contava su di voi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Una volta l'hai tradita non essendole stato vicino. <\/span><\/p>\n

Una volta le hai spezzato il cuore. E spero solo che tu riesca a conviverci.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am staring at this title, and I can\u2019t connect the word \u2018toxic\u2019 with the word \u2018dad\u2019. No matter how much I try, I can\u2019t believe that a father can be toxic to his child. But the longer I think about it, the more I start having flashbacks of my childhood. And in the blink…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":23221,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/arthur-savary-776780-unsplash.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":317,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":317,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23220"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23220\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}