{"id":23302,"date":"2020-09-14T07:54:09","date_gmt":"2020-09-14T07:54:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=23302"},"modified":"2021-08-12T10:04:50","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T10:04:50","slug":"se-fa-queste-8-cose-e-un-abusatore-verbale-travestito-da-vero-uomo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/se-fa-queste-8-cose-e-un-abusatore-verbale-travestito-da-vero-uomo\/","title":{"rendered":"Se fa queste 8 cose \u00e8 un abusatore verbale travestito da vero uomo"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It can start out as a joke. It can become more frequent over time, but one thing is sure: when you meet that kind of a man, you\u2019ll have no idea who he really is. You\u2019ll have no idea that he presents himself as someone completely different.<\/p>\n<p>Come all'inizio di ogni <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/life\/limportanza-di-scegliere-se-stessi-al-posto-della-relazione-abusiva\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">relazione abusiva<\/a>, you\u2019ll think that you\u2019ve finally found the one. You\u2019ll think that finally you\u2019ll feel safe and loved. That\u2019s what they do to you. That\u2019s how they sneak up on you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>They pretend to be loving and compassionate to make you trust them, to make you let go and fall into their \u2018safe\u2019 arms. After they\u2019ve grabbed you like a predator, they can do whatever they want with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There are all kinds of abuse in relationships, and I\u2019ve written about each and every one. They are each painful and excruciating, especially the emotional ones. But there was never actual talk about verbal abuse.<\/p>\n<p>Verbal abuse doesn\u2019t get noticed that much because pretty much like narcissism and other personality disorders, it doesn\u2019t leave any proof on the victim.<\/p>\n<p>There are no bruises; there are no scars. You can walk out of the house seconds after you\u2019ve been verbally or any kind of emotionally abused. You can put on a smile, and no one will have any idea what you\u2019ve just gone through.<\/p>\n<p>No one will have a clue that you\u2019re barely keeping yourself together. No one sees the sadness behind your eyes and the emotional fatigue that has overwhelmed you entirely.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Perch\u00e9 ti maltratta verbalmente?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve probably blamed yourself hundreds of times, and you thought you had it coming because you provoked him. That\u2019s BS, and deep inside you know it. You were just scared to accept the fact<strong> che il vostro bravo ragazzo, il vostro vero uomo si \u00e8 rivelato un abusatore.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gli abusanti hanno dei sentimenti, che ci crediate o no, ma l'unico modo che conoscono per mostrarli \u00e8 attraverso la rabbia e la delusione. Di solito, dentro di s\u00e9 sono probabilmente feriti o tristi per qualche motivo, e sfogare la rabbia sulla persona pi\u00f9 vicina \u00e8 l'unico modo che conoscono per affrontare i propri problemi. <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/life\/perche-le-ragazze-con-insicurezze-pensano-di-essere-difficili-da-amare\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">insicurezze<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Quindi, farvi sentire meno degni e pi\u00f9 piccoli di lui lo fa sentire meglio. Ha bisogno di minare qualcun altro per sentirsi migliore e pi\u00f9 potente.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>He needs to have control over you because he doesn\u2019t have control over anything else.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Usa l'abuso verbale per farti sentire un pezzo di merda, per distruggere la tua autostima e, in questo modo, trasformarti in una persona che pensa di essere incapace di prendere decisioni da sola, una persona facile da controllare.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c8 un processo che richiede tempo per essere realizzato. Questo era il suo piano fin dall'inizio. Fin dal primo giorno in cui vi ha incontrati, voleva insinuarsi lentamente nella vostra vita, in modo da mettersi a proprio agio e al sicuro per prosciugare la vostra energia.<\/p>\n<p>Ecco come ha fatto. Ecco come si \u00e8 trasformato da un vero uomo in un abusatore.<\/p>\n<h2>1. Vi ha fatto pensare bene prima di parlare<\/h2>\n<p>You just knew that if you said something wrong, something that he might not like, he\u2019d lose it. You knew he\u2019d over-react, and you knew what that meant for you.<\/p>\n<p>It meant you\u2019re getting your portion of insults and verbal abuse. So, when you were around him, you thought hard what to say and what to keep to yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Actually, it all depended on how he was feeling that day. If you saw that he was in a good mood, you\u2019d probably find a way to tell him something as painless as possible, but if he was agitated and grumpy, you\u2019d definitely keep it to yourself.<\/p>\n<h2>2. Ti ha chiamato per nome<\/h2>\n<p>This is self-explanatory. In short, no one has the right to call you names\u2014not your family, not your friends and not your boyfriend. No matter how mad he is and no matter how screwed up his day was, he has to deal with that himself.<\/p>\n<p>Even if you provoke him with something you\u2019ve said or done, he can\u2019t react by calling you stupid, a slut or God knows what you\u2019ve heard so far.<\/p>\n<h2>3. Non \u00e8 mai stato d'accordo con voi.<\/h2>\n<p>If you were feeling positive and happy, if you were excited about something and you wanted to share your happiness with him, he disagreed with you instantly. It means he didn\u2019t respect you enough to let you be happy.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe he was jealous that you were feeling great when he didn\u2019t and since he didn\u2019t love you, he tried to hurt you by putting you back down to earth and destroying your happiness.<\/p>\n<h2>4. Ti ha messo a tacere<\/h2>\n<p>He didn\u2019t value your opinion, and it didn\u2019t interest him. He didn\u2019t want to hear anything that you had to say, and if you said it anyway, he\u2019d laugh and made fun of you because he obviously thought you were stupid.<\/p>\n<p>He was always telling you that you\u2019re wrong, and he is always right; he knows everything and you don\u2019t have a clue.<\/p>\n<p>And if you got offended by that, then he\u2019d call you too sensitive and <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/relationship\/preferisco-rimanere-single-piuttosto-che-sprecare-la-mia-vita-con-un-idiota-immaturo\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">immaturo<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2>5. Ha distorto le tue parole<\/h2>\n<p>When you had enough and you couldn\u2019t take his abuse anymore, you tried to confront him by calling him an abuser. Then he lost his temper and went crazy. Then he would take it all out on you because deep inside, he knew it was true, and the truth usually hurts.<\/p>\n<p>This turned out to be a huge fight which ended up with you being the bad guy. It stopped being about him being an abuser and turned to revolve around something you\u2019d said or done months ago.<\/p>\n<p>He carefully remembered your words because his memory is impeccable that way. He\u2019d remember exactly what happened in the past, and he\u2019d use it against you in these situations. He took your words out of context and twisted them to work in his favor.<\/p>\n<h2>6. \u00c8 diventato accondiscendente<\/h2>\n<p>He acted like you are a baby, and you don\u2019t understand anything. He talked down to you and disrespected you in that way.<\/p>\n<p>He did this to make himself better than you and make you feel like you\u2019re inferior to him. He\u2019d intentionally use a condescending tone and chose words that were meant to hurt you just to boost up his ego and destroy yours.<\/p>\n<h2>7. Ha fatto emergere le vostre insicurezze<\/h2>\n<p>When he didn\u2019t have anything else left, he\u2019d pull the oldest trick in the book. When all other tactics would fail, he\u2019d play this dirty card. He\u2019d try to use you against you. He tried to play with your mind to force you into hating yourself.<\/p>\n<p>He intentionally brought out the things you\u2019re most sensitive about, and he used them against you. This was done to make you feel useless and ugly, to make you wonder what is your purpose in this life and why you are even alive.<\/p>\n<h2>8. Ha giustificato il suo cattivo comportamento<\/h2>\n<p>He lived in complete denial. He didn\u2019t want to admit that he is nothing more than a piece of shit; a leech that is unhappy and frustrated; someone who sucks other people\u2019s energies dry to feed himself.<\/p>\n<p>When he succeeded, it would hold him for a while. He\u2019d forget how unhappy he really is, and he\u2019d enjoy the energy he took from you. When it ran out, he\u2019d come back and do the same thing all over again.<\/p>\n<p>No, this is not a real man. This is an abuser who pretended to be something you\u2019d been looking for.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It can start out as a joke. It can become more frequent over time, but one thing is sure: when you meet that kind of a man, you\u2019ll have no idea who he really is. You\u2019ll have no idea that he presents himself as someone completely different. As in the beginning of every abusive relationship,&#8230;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":23303,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29646],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23302","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-understanding-men"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29646,"label":"understanding men"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/black-background-dark-facial-hair-761684.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Selma June","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/selmajune\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29646,"name":"understanding men","slug":"understanding-men","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29646,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Wondering about what's going on inside his head? Or do you need explanations for his actions? Learn to understand men, and your life will become easier.","parent":29643,"count":570,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29646,"category_count":570,"category_description":"Wondering about what's going on inside his head? Or do you need explanations for his actions? Learn to understand men, and your life will become easier.","cat_name":"understanding men","category_nicename":"understanding-men","category_parent":29643}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23302","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23302"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23302\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23302"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23302"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23302"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}