{"id":27675,"date":"2020-04-13T10:56:48","date_gmt":"2020-04-13T10:56:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=27675"},"modified":"2021-12-03T22:30:10","modified_gmt":"2021-12-03T22:30:10","slug":"8-fasi-di-guarigione-dopo-essere-sfuggiti-al-gaslighting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/8-fasi-di-guarigione-dopo-essere-sfuggiti-al-gaslighting\/","title":{"rendered":"8 fasi di guarigione dopo essere sfuggiti al gaslighting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Non mi vergogno di dirlo, non pi\u00f9. Ho subito abusi emotivi. Sono stata gasata ogni singolo giorno nella mia relazione infernale.<\/p>\n

Si \u00e8 impegnato a fondo per convincermi ogni giorno che ero io la pazza. Ha spostato oggetti nell'appartamento e mi ha convinto di essere stato io.<\/p>\n

He told stories about me, about things which I\u2019d never done and he convinced me that I had done but I was too embarrassed so I buried them deep inside my mind.<\/p>\n

He isolated me from all of my friends so I don\u2019t get any support whatsoever. He apologized, although he never meant it; it was just to get me back into the relationship.<\/p>\n

And if that didn\u2019t work, he insulted me and put me down. He wanted me to feel insignificant. He needed that to control me.<\/p>\n

Ha negato la mia realt\u00e0. Mi ha sminuito e mi ha fatto dubitare di me stesso. Diceva sempre che lui aveva ragione e io torto.<\/p>\n

Mi disse che dovevo fidarmi di lui perch\u00e9 la mia capacit\u00e0 di giudizio era scarsa. Che ero pazza e avevo bisogno di aiuto e lui era l\u00ec per aiutarmi.<\/p>\n

Il suo abuso era perfettamente unico. Il gaslighting<\/a> che eseguiva era il modo perfetto per controllarmi e abusare emotivamente di me. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c8 riuscito a cambiare la mia visione del mondo, il mio senso di s\u00e9 e la mia fiducia in me stesso.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I ended up questioning everything and everyone. I didn\u2019t have a voice of my own and even when it appeared, I\u2019d silence it because I didn\u2019t trust it. I didn\u2019t trust myself.<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t make the simplest choices. I couldn\u2019t decide what was right and what was wrong.<\/p>\n

Ero traumatizzata e avevo bisogno di trovare una via d'uscita.<\/p>\n

I wish I could tell you that I found a clear solution to finding peace at last but I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Ho lottato e ogni giorno era pi\u00f9 difficile del precedente.<\/p>\n

But the one thing I can tell you is the fact that you\u2019ve realized you\u2019ve fallen too deep into the pit and that you need help is the best start you could wish for.<\/p>\n

Healing from gaslighting is a terribly bumpy road. I\u2019ve had ups and downs but along the way, I rediscovered myself.<\/p>\n

I remember who I used to be and I\u2019ve probably learned so much more than I ever would have if it wasn\u2019t for my complete breakdown.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t tell you what to do exactly or how to heal and forget about the pain. No one could tell me either. But I can show you how I rediscovered myself.<\/p>\n

Posso raccontare alcune cose inaspettate che mi hanno aiutato a rimettermi in piedi.<\/p>\n

Sono fuggita il pi\u00f9 lontano possibile dal mio angelo del gas<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

This can be horrific. Some people have to cut off family bonds, some people need to move away. I had to go no contact. And you may think it\u2019s an easy thing to do.<\/p>\n

One should think it\u2019s perfectly logical. If someone causes you pain, you leave them.<\/p>\n

But you can\u2019t even begin to imagine what it feels like to leave someone who has made you believe you\u2019re emotionally and physically dependent on him.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re scared to make a move without that person. You\u2019re scared that he was right all along and you\u2019re not going to make it without him.<\/p>\n

Ho ammesso a me stesso di essere stato abusato<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Ho smesso di fuggire dalla realt\u00e0. Ho affrontato la cosa orribile che mi era successa.<\/p>\n

Mi sono detta che sono stata maltrattata emotivamente e che mi hanno ingannato facendomi credere di essere pazza.<\/p>\n

Non c'era nulla di sbagliato in me e non \u00e8 mai stata colpa mia. La mia visione del mondo era storta e i miei sentimenti erano distorti.<\/p>\n

La mia mente era stata ingannata e dovevo accettarlo.<\/p>\n

Ho permesso a me stesso di commettere errori<\/h2>\n

\"giovane<\/p>\n

Dopo averlo lasciato, avevo bisogno di essere sicura che tutto ci\u00f2 che facevo fosse giusto. Significava molto per me.<\/p>\n

Because when you\u2019ve been trapped in a relationship where your abuser is constantly telling you you\u2019re no good, you\u2019re incompetent, that you don\u2019t do anything right, it takes its toll on you.<\/p>\n

Si inizia a crederci.<\/p>\n

Ma tutti commettiamo degli errori e per me era impossibile fare tutto bene.<\/p>\n

Cos\u00ec, dopo qualche tempo, ho capito che il mio bisogno di fare tutto alla perfezione non era altro che il risultato di un trauma.<\/p>\n

Making mistakes was the most humane thing I could do. I accepted it and it taught me that it\u2019s perfectly fine to make mistakes.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t make me special, it doesn\u2019t make me stand out from the rest of the world. I was just like everyone else. I was human.<\/p>\n

Mi sono permesso di sentire<\/h2>\n

\"utima<\/p>\n

Quando si lascia un relazione emotivamente violenta<\/a>, you feel relieved, maybe even happy. But that feeling doesn\u2019t last for long.<\/p>\n

Dietro quella falsa apparenza di felicit\u00e0 si nascondono ancora anni di dolore, rabbia e frustrazione.<\/p>\n

It takes a lot of time to deal with all those emotions that haunt you still because you\u2019re not over them yet.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve not fully accepted all the pain you\u2019ve felt or why, because of him.<\/p>\n

Ho fatto le mie scelte<\/h2>\n

\"giovane<\/p>\n

I had no clue what was right and what was wrong and I couldn\u2019t make a decision. Whichever road I took, it seemed wrong.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s because I didn’t trust myself.<\/p>\n

Since I didn\u2019t have a voice of my own in the relationship, I didn\u2019t even know what it was exactly that I wanted, which made the decision-making process even harder.<\/p>\n

Ho deciso di porvi fine e ho iniziato con le piccole cose. Ho iniziato a prendere piccole decisioni, come quando andare a letto o cosa indossare per una riunione.<\/p>\n

All'inizio era terrificante. Ero sempre sicura di aver fatto la scelta sbagliata.<\/p>\n

Ma, dopo un po', tutte queste piccole scelte hanno iniziato a piacermi. E dopo un po' ero perfettamente in grado di iniziare a fare scelte pi\u00f9 grandi e importanti.<\/p>\n

Ho deciso di farmi aiutare<\/h2>\n

\"madre<\/p>\n

Avevo solo bisogno di una persona affidabile con cui parlare. Avevo bisogno di qualcuno che mi ascoltasse. Avevo bisogno di sostegno. All'inizio avevo paura di fare questo passo.<\/p>\n

Perch\u00e9 ammettere un abuso emotivo significava che avevo fallito. Significava che avevo permesso a qualcuno di prendermi in giro, di umiliarmi.<\/p>\n

Ma se avete un amico, un familiare o se volete un aiuto professionale, rivolgetevi a loro.<\/p>\n

Vi aiuteranno a gestire tutti i sentimenti contrastanti che provate. Vi aiuteranno a risolvere il caos che regna nella vostra testa.<\/p>\n

Ho accolto le mie vulnerabilit\u00e0<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

People see strong people as people who don\u2019t take any bullshit from anyone. But that\u2019s not true. Strong women can get abused too.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a choice you make.<\/p>\n

Saying that you\u2019ll never let anyone hit you is not something that depends on you. It depends on the violent side of your relationship.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, you don’t even have to be physically abused to call it abuse.<\/p>\n

Anche l'abuso psicologico, il gaslighting e la negligenza sono forme di abuso ancora pi\u00f9 difficili da dimostrare o superare.<\/p>\n

Cos\u00ec, ho pensato che, a causa della mia personalit\u00e0 gentile, ero io la colpevole di essere stata maltrattata emotivamente. Pensavo di essere troppo gentile e di lasciare che le persone mi calpestassero.<\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

But that is not true. The fact that I\u2019m too nice is not my disadvantage. It\u2019s a personality trait that proves I\u2019m an empath<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Significa che mi interessa la gente.<\/p>\n

After being gaslighted, I realized that I have to accept who I am. I decided I wouldn\u2019t be ashamed of being loving or compassionate.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not my fault that I\u2019ve had to deal with an abuser who decided to take advantage of that.<\/p>\n

Avrei potuto facilmente incontrare qualcuno che avrebbe amato questo aspetto di me, qualcuno che mi avrebbe custodito e tenuto al sicuro per il resto della mia vita.<\/p>\n

But, this time, I wasn\u2019t that lucky.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve accepted that he is not the last abuser I\u2019m going to meet<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

It\u2019s possible I\u2019m going to meet another abuser in my life. It\u2019s possible that I\u2019m going to be abused one more time but in a different way.<\/p>\n

Maybe this time it\u2019s going to be different and I won\u2019t be able to recognize it.<\/p>\n

Emotions are unpredictable and they can be very uncomfortable and it\u2019s easier for me now that I\u2019ve faced the fact it can happen again.<\/p>\n

It won\u2019t be as horrible as the first time but at least I\u2019ll know how to find a way out.<\/p>\n

L'unica cosa che so in questo momento \u00e8 che devo essere onesto con me stesso.<\/p>\n

Ho bisogno di essere sincera sui miei sentimenti e di non imbottigliarli pi\u00f9 dentro di me.<\/p>\n

Embrace your truth like I did and don\u2019t focus on being happy all the time. Let time do its thing and in the meantime, discover yourself. Eventually, you\u2019ll heal.<\/p>\n

\"8<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m not ashamed to say it, not anymore. I was emotionally abused. I was gaslighted every single day in my relationship from hell. He worked so hard on convincing me every single day that I was the crazy one. He moved items in the apartment and he convinced me I did it. He told stories…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":79176,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/8-Stages-Of-Healing-After-Escaping-Gaslighting.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27675"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27675\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}