![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/anxious-woman-sitting-on-the-bed.jpg\")
<\/p>\nChe cosa \u00e8 normale? Non so pi\u00f9 cosa sia normale. L'ansia sta diventando il mio stato normale. Sono stata sua prigioniera per troppo tempo.<\/p>\n
She has consumed me\u2014we have become two people inside one mind. I constantly struggle and I fight with her.<\/p>\n
She wants to take control and sometimes, she does\u2014and she holds me captive.<\/p>\n
She is making me live in constant fear of what would happen if I do this or that. I always have to ask her for permission to do anything\u2014but most of the time, she won\u2019t let me do anything.<\/p>\n
She has taken a role of my jailer\u2014I am trapped.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I spend my days closed between my four lonesome walls, feeling those walls getting narrower as the seconds, minutes are going by\u2014I am afraid I\u2019m going to be squashed by my own mind.<\/p>\n
Anxiety is somewhere in the middle of the room pulling four ropes hooked on four walls closer to the center. And I can\u2019t do anything about it\u2014I am completely helpless.<\/p>\n
I know that everything that I\u2019m going through is in my head, but somehow, I have lost my way. I know that deep in my mind I\u2019m still my old self\u2014I just can\u2019t find a map that will show me the way out.<\/p>\n
This mind of mine has become a huge maze and every turn I make gets me deeper and deeper in the maze\u2014unable to find my way out, ever again.<\/p>\n
Today, I have good days and those bad ones. On a good day, I can see clearly\u2014life is beautiful again, everything makes sense. But, unfortunately, that doesn\u2019t last forever.<\/p>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/woman-standing-in-the-field-with-closed-eyes.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
It\u2019s like on good days my anxiety is taking a break.<\/p>\n
She is tired and she needs some sleep. That is when I take control\u2014and I like it. I like being in charge of my life\u2014who wouldn\u2019t?<\/p>\n
And then, all of a sudden, anxiety wakes up\u2014fresh and ready to destroy yet another day I have got left to live.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I just spend my days sitting and lying in bed feeling completely lost in my own mind. I stare at an empty wall and I imagine what I\u2019m capable of doing, but I can\u2019t. I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m afraid I will fail. I\u2019m afraid people will judge me. I\u2019m afraid anxiety will show her true face instead of me showing my own.<\/p>\n
Today, I\u2019m doing much better. I like to write. When I feel extremely bad, I put my words on a piece of paper and I feel better. It\u2019s like I let go of my anger.<\/p>\n
![\"giovane](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/young-woman-writing.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/mindful-woman-sitting-on-the-couch.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"L'ansia](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Anxiety-Made-Me-A-Prisoner-In-My-Own-Mind-pinterest.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"