{"id":40273,"date":"2019-07-11T09:39:09","date_gmt":"2019-07-11T09:39:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=40273"},"modified":"2021-08-12T06:40:20","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T06:40:20","slug":"imparare-a-non-essere-disponibili","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/imparare-a-non-essere-disponibili\/","title":{"rendered":"Perch\u00e9 ho imparato a diventare indisponibile (e dovreste farlo anche voi!)"},"content":{"rendered":"

No, I won\u2019t sit at the top of the stairs with my arms crossed sulking! I\u2019m not a child anymore. I won\u2019t ignore you because I don\u2019t like you. I won\u2019t play games with anyone. I outgrew that period of my life. I\u2019m much smarter, much more mature now.<\/p>\n

I remember one time when I was still a child, my mom refused to buy me a doll. Maybe she didn\u2019t have enough money, maybe I didn\u2019t deserve it. Anyway, she told me NO. Of course, like every child, I climbed the stairs to my bedroom and I plonked myself on them in defiance.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was hurt, because not getting a doll is a huge problem when you\u2019re just a little girl. I could as easily go to my room and suffer in silence, but no, I chose to sit at the top of the stairs so my mom could see me and my pain.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was ignoring her, I was pretending to be alone, hurting because I didn\u2019t get what I wanted. Of course, the next thing that happened was, I got a doll. My mom couldn’t stand to watch me like that.<\/em><\/p>\n

But things don\u2019t work that way anymore. I can\u2019t get what I want by being unavailable to everyone, by ignoring everyone. And most importantly, I shouldn\u2019t. It isn\u2019t right. <\/b><\/p>\n

Now the time\u2019s come to grow up, and I\u2019ve decided something.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m really so fucking tired of always being there for everyone who needs me, no matter if they deserve it or not. I\u2019m so fucking angry with myself for ignoring my life to please someone else.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What about me? No, that\u2019s not a selfish thing to say. Really, what about me? What about you?<\/em><\/p>\n

What happens when I need help, when I can\u2019t take it anymore because I\u2019m bursting at the seams, about to explode. What about my free time, my walks in nature, my place under the sun?<\/p>\n

Sono venuto dalla persona che amo. Stavo cadendo a pezzi<\/span><\/a> eppure i suoi problemi erano molto pi\u00f9 grandi dei miei. Dovevo sopprimere ci\u00f2 che mi preoccupava e concentrarmi su di lui. Dovevo dimenticare che la mia vita stava andando a rotoli perch\u00e9 lui si sentiva gi\u00f9.<\/p>\n

He was always feeling down; he always had problems. Nothing in his life could ever be good, let alone great. That\u2019s when I realized something\u2026<\/p>\n

Non posso permettermi il lusso di fermarmi a pensare a me stesso per un po'? Deve sempre riguardare qualcun altro?<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Perch\u00e9<\/p>\n

You know, I\u2019m a fighter. I walk through life and I never break under pressure. I always strive to do more and accomplish more. Success gives me the boost I need and successfully completed challenges make me who I am.<\/p>\n

I can take down anyone and anything if I want because I\u2019m not a quitter. So why would I waste my time and energy on someone who doesn\u2019t give a fuck? On someone who never bothered to ask themselves how other people around them feel?<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I decided to learn to be unavailable. But unavailable only to the people who suck me dry, those who drain my energy and make me feel like a piece of shit. <\/b><\/p>\n

I realized that an important key to a happy life is to remove all people who make you feel bad. To keep them as far away as possible. I realized that I don\u2019t need anyone to walk into my life, make it pretty at the beginning, and after they make a mess, leave.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have to, and I won\u2019t feel down and broken just because someone decided they have the right to play with my feelings and then leave.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned in time and I\u2019ve experienced what it feels like to be surrounded by people who don\u2019t care whether they lose you or not. It took me a lot of time and tears to come to this realization, but I thank God I did.<\/p>\n

Otherwise, I would still be stuck in a life I don\u2019t want to live with people I don\u2019t want around me.<\/p>\n

Sarei ancora quella che chiama, manda messaggi e viene completamente ignorata. Sarei ancora quella che ci sarebbe sempre stata, qualunque cosa stesse accadendo nella mia vita.<\/p>\n

Sarei ancora ingenua, lascerei ancora che si approfittino di me. Permetterei ancora che non mi apprezzino e mi calpestino fino a quando non troveranno qualcosa di meglio e se ne andranno.<\/p>\n

Ho imparato a lasciarli andare e a interrompere il ciclo del loro ritorno nella mia vita. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Perch\u00e9<\/p>\n

Ho imparato a non essere disponibile, perch\u00e9 questo \u00e8 l'unico modo per rompere lo schema di accogliere persone non necessarie nella mia vita e lasciare che creino il caos, per poi andarsene.<\/p>\n

I became selectively unavailable because I\u2019ve realized that my life will never change if I don\u2019t change it myself. I learned that by being unavailable, I\u2019m making myself more available to the people who truly deserve it.<\/p>\n

\"Perch\u00e9<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":40298,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/shutterstock_1239725014-9.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40273\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}