{"id":40861,"date":"2019-07-23T10:57:54","date_gmt":"2019-07-23T10:57:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=40861"},"modified":"2021-08-11T13:35:17","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T13:35:17","slug":"5-cose-che-non-hai-imparato-perche-sei-figlio-di-un-alcolizzato","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/5-cose-che-non-hai-imparato-perche-sei-figlio-di-un-alcolizzato\/","title":{"rendered":"5 cose che non hai imparato perch\u00e9 sei figlio di un alcolizzato"},"content":{"rendered":"

La vostra infanzia vi ha reso ci\u00f2 che siete oggi. Le cose che avete visto e vissuto vi seguono per tutta la vita.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, that\u2019s a beautiful thing if you remember your childhood in beautiful pictures; if you have happy memories which make your heart warm every time you think of them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ma cosa succede quando quelle immagini non sono cos\u00ec belle? Cosa succede quando si ricorda solo il dolore e la sofferenza causati da coloro che avrebbero dovuto amarci e proteggerci?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s something you\u2019re carrying throughout your whole life. It\u2019s something that can consume and destroy you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, you\u2019re blaming yourself for not being able to fight the demons haunting you from the past. But what you fail to see is that it\u2019s not your fault. You weren\u2019t supposed to have that crappy childhood, and you couldn\u2019t choose the life to live. You got what you got\u2014an alcoholic parent.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not your fault because you were the victim of someone else\u2019s mistakes and wrong moves. You were a victim, and you are a victim now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And because of that, your life is not easy, and it never will be. You are not a quitter, and you don\u2019t want to continue the vicious circle. You don\u2019t want your kids to be faced with living a life they didn\u2019t choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Living with trauma such as that raises many challenges you\u2019re faced with, which other people don\u2019t get. Every day is a battle for you. Every situation that others might find trivial can be disastrous to you.\u00a0 But you\u2019re facing it. Every day. Every hour. Every minute.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what you failed to learn, and it\u2019s not your fault:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Nessuno vi ha insegnato come comportarvi<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Normal social situations aren\u2019t normal for you. A quiet Sunday evening in a normal house was about spending the evening together, playing games or watching TV. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Sunday evening was either being the victim of an aggressive outburst caused by alcohol or watching your parent\u00a0 fall asleep in the middle of the house with a bottle in their hand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the best-case scenario, you could walk away or hide so as not to look at the misery surrounding you. So, today when you simply don\u2019t know how to react to some things that other people think are self-explanatory, it\u2019s not your fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You didn\u2019t have a role model to tell you what is right and what is wrong. You didn\u2019t have anyone to look up to.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. You never learned it\u2019s impossible to keep everything under control<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Quando eravate bambini, la vostra casa era un caos controllato, soprattutto se uno dei vostri genitori era un alcolizzato. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

L'altra era cercare di nasconderlo, di costringere il genitore alcolista a mantenere le apparenze. Si investivano molte energie e forze per far tacere il genitore sobrio.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dovevate conviverci. Dovevi passare la tua vita in quel caos controllato in cui dall'esterno sembravi una famiglia come tutte le altre, ma dall'interno eri tutto fuorch\u00e9 una famiglia.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a result, now that you\u2019re a grown-up, you\u2019re trying to keep everything under control because you couldn\u2019t control anything when you were little.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only are you trying to control your life, but you\u2019re trying to control the lives of other people. You want to fix everything, so no one gets hurt. A lot of people can\u2019t understand your behavior, and they think of you as a control-freak.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nessuno di loro capisce perch\u00e9 siete cos\u00ec. Nessuno di loro riesce a immedesimarsi nella sua infanzia dolorosa e nell'ambiente che le ha insegnato a essere cos\u00ec.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Nessuno vi ha insegnato a proteggervi da persone dannose<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Vi manca il sostegno emotivo. Non hai mai avuto l'amore che meritavi. I tuoi genitori non c'erano mai quando avevi bisogno di loro. Erano egoisti perch\u00e9 erano impegnati con le loro vite, quindi ti hanno ignorato completamente.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cercavate attenzione in ogni modo possibile. Forse eri anche problematico, perch\u00e9 in fondo tutto quello che volevi era che qualcuno ti accogliesse e ti abbracciasse. Volevate solo che qualcuno vi prestasse attenzione.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As an adult, you hold on to every relationship you have, even if it\u2019s abusive. Sadly, an abusive relationship is the only thing you were surrounded with when you were a child, so to you, it\u2019s normal.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re afraid if you turn their back even on the people who take advantage of you, everyone in your life will eventually leave. And you don\u2019t want to be left alone. Not again.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Non avete imparato a credere in voi stessi o a rispettare le vostre esigenze.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

While growing up, your needs weren\u2019t important. Even more, you probably watched one of your parents sacrifice their own life to help protect their partner and clean up the mess they made every time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I modelli di comportamento sviluppati in et\u00e0 precoce non possono essere annullati cos\u00ec. Con il tempo possono essere corretti, ma saranno sempre presenti, soprattutto nelle situazioni emotive in cui le persone non riescono a controllarsi facilmente.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyday interactions and relationships are especially hard for you. You always do what others tell you because you don\u2019t believe in yourself. You seek acceptance, and you\u2019re scared of conflict.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You hold on to chaotic and problematic people because that\u2019s the surrounding you\u2019re used to being in and because you respect everyone else except yourself and your needs.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Non avete mai imparato che siete pi\u00f9 che abbastanza bravi<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Quando eravate giovani, nulla di ci\u00f2 che facevate era mai abbastanza buono. Inoltre, dovevate costantemente affrontare critiche e delusioni. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your alcoholic parent never acknowledged or noticed anything you did. Even if they saw it, they walked all over you because they didn’t care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re very ungrateful to yourself. You don\u2019t respect yourself, and no matter what you do, it will never be enough for you. You even verbally insult yourself because you don\u2019t believe in yourself; because you\u2019re insecure.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There will always be those who will try to persuade you that you are everything opposite from what you\u2019re saying about yourself and what you think about yourself, but those words won\u2019t find their way to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can you see yourself in a positive light, when everything you\u2019re saying about yourself is true from your perspective?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come si pu\u00f2 amare se non si ha mai avuto la possibilit\u00e0 di imparare a farlo?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"5<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your childhood made you who you are today. Things you saw and lived through follow you throughout your whole life.\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s a beautiful thing if you remember your childhood in beautiful pictures; if you have happy memories which make your heart warm every time you think of them. But what happens when those pictures…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":40868,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40861","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/shutterstock_1050497489.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40861","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40861"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40861\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40861"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40861"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40861"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}