{"id":48589,"date":"2019-11-26T18:12:32","date_gmt":"2019-11-26T18:12:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=48589"},"modified":"2021-08-12T13:30:06","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T13:30:06","slug":"7-motivi-per-cui-sono-rimasto-in-una-relazione-violenta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/7-motivi-per-cui-sono-rimasto-in-una-relazione-violenta\/","title":{"rendered":"7 motivi per cui sono rimasta in una relazione violenta"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cinque anni e duecentocinquantadue giorni. <\/b><\/p>\n

That\u2019s how long my battle lasted. And I\u2019m not counting the time when we had a good run. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not taking into consideration when we met and fell in love. That is not fair because I really enjoyed spending time with him at the beginning. <\/span><\/p>\n

Even after everything bad that\u2019s happened, those memories are somehow always going to belong in the happy pile in my brain. <\/span><\/p>\n

The story begins like any other you\u2019ve heard so far. And yes… if you\u2019re wondering… it always starts the same. There are really no exceptions. <\/b><\/p>\n

A handsome, charming man grabs your attention within seconds. At that particular moment, you just know he\u2019s aiming his Cupid\u2019s arrow right at you.<\/span><\/p>\n

At that moment, you can just feel you\u2019re the center of his attention. And let\u2019s face it, you like it.  <\/span><\/p>\n

That is a feeling which takes you by surprise. You can\u2019t wake up from that beautiful dream, no way. <\/span><\/p>\n

At that moment, you\u2019re imagining the two of you together with a family, living a fairy tale life, and everything is so perfect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Si assicura che tu continui a crederci. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Triste<\/p>\n

If it\u2019s necessary, he\u2019ll turn into someone else completely just to keep up his charade. <\/span><\/p>\n

He is playing the character of a sweet and caring man for one reason only\u2014to lure you even deeper into his trap. <\/span><\/p>\n

He will be the kindest man you\u2019ll ever meet. He\u2019ll be too perfect to be real, and yet, he is standing in front of you. <\/span><\/p>\n

A poco a poco le cose iniziano a cambiare. <\/b><\/p>\n

The \u2018forever perfect man\u2019 will start slipping every now and then. <\/span><\/p>\n

Naturally, you won\u2019t give much importance to these occasional changes in behavior. You\u2019ll find excuses every time, and somehow it won\u2019t be his fault. <\/span><\/p>\n

The point is, you\u2019d rather blame yourself for \u2018unconsciously\u2019 provoking him to behave inappropriately than accepting that maybe he\u2019s not that good of a man.<\/span><\/p>\n

When this realization hits you…it\u2019s too late to leave. <\/b><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll already be in his web, under his complete control. <\/span><\/p>\n

He knows how you breathe, what you\u2019re going to say next, and how you\u2019re going to react. That\u2019s how <\/span>ti prende in giro<\/span><\/a> senza che ve ne rendiate conto.  <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not making things up. I\u2019m writing from experience, from the horror I lived in for 5 long years. You cannot make this shit up! It\u2019s impossible. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why I stayed in an abusive relationship for so long: <\/span><\/p>\n

1. I miei pensieri sono stati manomessi<\/h2>\n

\"Giovane<\/p>\n

Dopo un po' ha iniziato a molestarmi cos\u00ec tanto che non avevo idea di cosa stesse succedendo. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was definitely brainwashed and scared…so scared of his reactions and his behavior. Lies seemed such a better option than telling the truth. <\/span><\/p>\n

Il fatto \u00e8 che le bugie venivano sempre alla luce prima o poi, creando una situazione ancora peggiore.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tutte le vittime di <\/span>abuso emotivo<\/span><\/a> go through the stage of feeling guilt and despair. That is the consequence of the partner\u2019s poor treatment. <\/span><\/p>\n

Dopo i continui abusi, ho iniziato a credere di essermi meritato tutto questo. Credevo davvero che la colpa del suo comportamento fosse mia.<\/span><\/p>\n

When your thoughts are tampered with and when you actually start believing that you\u2019re worth nothing, the rest is easy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone knows that words don\u2019t leave bruises, and no one can see the psychological damage someone has caused you.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Ho provato imbarazzo e vergogna<\/h2>\n

\"attacchi<\/p>\n

In quel momento mi sono passati davanti agli occhi alcuni scorci di realt\u00e0. Ci sono stati momenti in cui ho capito cosa stava succedendo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s a part of denial, maybe it\u2019s the hope that it will soon be gone, but accepting the truth was the last thing on my mind. <\/span><\/p>\n

At those moments when I knew I was abused, I felt terribly ashamed. My mind was bothered by the fact: \u201cHow did I let this happen?\u201d I was scared that people who love me won\u2019t accept me back. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ero preoccupata che mi giudicassero per aver scelto lui e non aver capito che non \u00e8 altro che un uomo debole e manipolatore. <\/span><\/p>\n

3. Ero terribilmente spaventato<\/h2>\n

\"Giovane<\/p>\n

It can\u2019t get any simpler than it was\u2014I was afraid of him. I was scared of his actions, of his reactions and his behavior. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was afraid he would physically hurt me. To be honest, it wouldn\u2019t have been the first time he tried to assault me…or succeeded. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nascosi molto bene i lividi sul collo e sulla schiena. Nessuno aveva idea di cosa stesse succedendo dietro la nostra porta chiusa. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nessuno, a parte me, conosce ancora oggi tutta la verit\u00e0.<\/span><\/p>\n

La mia vita si proiettava sui miei sogni. Ho avuto incubi terribili. Sognavo che mi dava la caccia come una bestia. Nei miei sogni era spietato e inarrestabile. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi dava la caccia per giorni in tutta la foresta. Nei miei incubi, sembrava che non si stancasse mai e l'agonia durava per giorni. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Questa \u00e8 solo una metafora di ci\u00f2 che accadeva nella vita reale.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. La mia autostima era prossima allo zero<\/h2>\n

\"Solitario<\/p>\n

Forse anche sotto lo zero. Lasciate che vi dica cosa \u00e8 successo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Every person has insecurities\u2014even that girl you\u2019ve been watching every day looking confident as hell\u2014yes, even she has insecurities. The thing is, she handles them better than you. <\/span><\/p>\n

What I\u2019m actually saying is that you can\u2019t run away from your insecurities, but you can accept them. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can embrace your flaws because they are what make you unique. I didn\u2019t know that back then, and I let him take advantage of my weaknesses against me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi ha sminuito in ogni modo possibile. Si prendeva gioco del mio aspetto, derideva le mie capacit\u00e0, il mio intelletto. <\/span><\/p>\n

He did everything possible to crush me like a bug\u2014both physically and emotionally. Sadly, he did it. <\/span><\/p>\n

5. Non avevo altra scelta finanziaria<\/h2>\n

\"Non<\/p>\n

Quando abbiamo iniziato la nostra relazione, il denaro non aveva alcun ruolo nei problemi che stavano lentamente emergendo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Onestamente, non avevo idea di come mi fossi ritrovata al verde e senza alcuna visione dei miei conti. \u00c8 successo cos\u00ec in fretta. \u00c8 successo perch\u00e9 mi sono fidata ciecamente di lui. <\/span><\/p>\n

The point is when I started to sober up, when I actually recognized the abuse I was going through, I couldn\u2019t escape. <\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have the means to escape. I was broke and alone. Moreover, he realized I was starting to slip from his grip, so he used even more manipulation to hold me by his side. <\/span><\/p>\n

6. Vivevo in una prigione invisibile<\/h2>\n

\"Donna<\/p>\n

Nessuno aveva idea che fossi isolata. I miei amici e la mia famiglia avevano l'impressione che li avessi cacciati dalla mia vita. <\/span><\/p>\n

He fed them with lies; he fed me with lies. He was so good, a real puppet master, and he controlled the whole show we were a part of called \u2018life\u2019. <\/span><\/p>\n

Non sono mai stata intrappolata fisicamente, anche se con queste persone malate anche quella \u00e8 un'opzione. La mia prigione era emotiva. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ero libero di andare dove volevo, ma in realt\u00e0 ero controllato a ogni passo. Una mossa sbagliata e il prezzo da pagare. <\/span><\/p>\n

I paid for every single one of my \u2018mistakes.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

7. Sono stato dannato dall'amore<\/h2>\n

\"La<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s face it. If it wasn\u2019t for love, none of this would have happened. I have to say that now when I\u2019m no longer ashamed or embarrassed, I was in love with him. <\/span><\/p>\n

I am truly a person who fell in love with an abuser. And you know what? I\u2019m not sorry, and I know it was not my fault. <\/span><\/p>\n

People can\u2019t choose who they fall in love with. My heart chose an evil man, but my heart escaped from his grip in the end.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"7<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Five years, two hundred and fifty-two days.  That\u2019s how long my battle lasted. And I\u2019m not counting the time when we had a good run. I\u2019m not taking into consideration when we met and fell in love. That is not fair because I really enjoyed spending time with him at the beginning.  Even after everything…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":48687,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29625],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationship"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29625,"label":"toxic relationship"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/shutterstock_310310333.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29625,"name":"toxic relationship","slug":"toxic-relationship","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29625,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","parent":29620,"count":228,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29625,"category_count":228,"category_description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","cat_name":"toxic relationship","category_nicename":"toxic-relationship","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48589","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48589"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48589\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48589"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48589"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48589"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}